Marriage - or not?
Discussion
Shnozz said:
Muzzer79 said:
If you're purely concerned about financial assets and potentially losing them, suggest a pre-nup?
Diplomatically of course.....
I often wonder how one can ever have a diplomatic conversation about entering a pre-nup. "I trust you with all my heart and want to be with you forever, except I harbour some doubts and we might not be". Diplomatically of course.....
Has anyone got any tales of how they approached the subject and it didn't get met with an adverse reaction? Genuinely interested.
WRT getting married - absolutely love it, couldn't be happier.
Robertj21a said:
....Far too many downsides for the guys when, after a few years, the female decides she wants someone different...
I'd have to say that it does seem (anecdotally) that it's more the men who seem to have a desire for "something different"GOATever said:
It’s not for me, I’ve never really considered it. Some people like that sort of thing. Fair enough.
Me too. I'm 45 with 2 kids. Never been married and never felt the desire to. It's an expensive thing to do and no matter how in love you are, circumstances and people can change over time. When the relationship is tested, I like to know that she is as committed to fixing things as I am. Being married can give a woman the excuse/extra reason to call it a day and get a divorce. We had a fight, OK I'll get a divorce and take half of his wealth with me. I've been more than happy with Ms Toon for 9 years now but who knows, in another 9 years she might reach the stage where seeing me breathe indues a rage only murder or leaving me will solve. If that happens I'd rather we just part than have a messy divorce!
It's a personal choice and only you know if it's for you. There are lots of happily married people out there. There's also lots of happy divorce lawyers out there driving Porsches, supping Champaign off strippers backsides. You could end up funding their lifestyle
toon10 said:
Never been married and never felt the desire to. It's an expensive thing to do
No it's not, it's dirt cheap. I think you are confusing getting married with having a wedding. You can do the former without the latter. If you are in a long term relationship and not married, you may have to get legal advice re avoiding IHT. Also, you'll lose out on any govt widows benefits, and possibly ongoing pension benefits from your deceased partners pension. All that stuff can be expensive.
If your partner is involved in a serious accident and is in a coma or something, you might find yourself unable to even visit, if their legal next of kin doesn't like you.
Robbo 27 said:
Its a NO from me, I would also keep finances very seperate and private
Makes little difference when you have to fill out a form E. Financial disclosure is required for the court to ensure “fair” division of assets. Feel free to hide stuff from the course of course... not for me.I have just got in the door from the latest episode in court following a separation 5 and a half years ago and divorce back in 2017. Clean break my arse, cost me another 13,000 this afternoon.
If you are going to marry, make sure it isn’t a leech like I had.
Perhaps the most obvious comment, but surely it's one of perspective. If you're in your 20's with little time or effort invested in what you have then who'd think twice, I certainly wouldn't have. If you're in your 40's with 20+ years of work and slog behind you, plus experience of how even the best relationships can go sour then your view will likely be very different.
Entering a contract with a ~40% chance of failure and the other party walking away with at least half of your savings and everything you own? Hell yeah, sounds good.
I'm very happily married but we got together when we were skint students and these days she earns a lot more than me so I've little to lose. If I was single with property and a few quid in the bank I don't think I'd be so keen on getting married.
A relative of mine has just finally settled a very messy divorce, his second one. He gets married again next year.
I'm very happily married but we got together when we were skint students and these days she earns a lot more than me so I've little to lose. If I was single with property and a few quid in the bank I don't think I'd be so keen on getting married.
A relative of mine has just finally settled a very messy divorce, his second one. He gets married again next year.
Edited by Sten. on Tuesday 10th December 07:54
Sten. said:
Entering a contract with a ~40% chance of failure and the other party walking away with at least half of your savings and everything you own? Hell yeah, sounds good.
It's one of many things that if it were invented now you'd be laughed at followed by a tarring and feathering. Since it's been around forever it's accepted as the norm. When you apply actual logic, there ain't much. Because women like moving the goalposts, change for what they think.is the better, a marriage certificate, commitment and are basically nest builders. Oh and most like an expensive rip off pageant style wedding too btw.
Whereas blokes are normally in the 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' camp and would happily stay single but perhaps live together but because the woman in their life wears the trousers they submit and go along with a wedding reluctantly.
Invariably a bad move.
Whereas blokes are normally in the 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' camp and would happily stay single but perhaps live together but because the woman in their life wears the trousers they submit and go along with a wedding reluctantly.
Invariably a bad move.
Dixy said:
Why is it so important to her.
Because it means commitment. Because it means that she is not just another in a string of ex's that went nowhere. Because it means that I am declaring that she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and that she is "off limits".Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff