Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)
Discussion
ked iy . Should be "Sychophants" "Sick of Termites"Golfing story
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Probably a Dave Allen Joke -
Paddy goes to confession and tells the priest that he had sex with a girl on Saturday night.
Who was she? asked the priest.
I can't tell you father.
Was it Mary O'Doyle?
No Father
Was it Niamh O'Leary?
No Father.
Well my son, if you don't tell me who she was I can't give you absolution.
Later, Paddy meets his mate in a pub, his mate says Did the priest give you absolution?
No says Paddy, but I got a couple of hot tips for next Saturday night.
Paddy goes to confession and tells the priest that he had sex with a girl on Saturday night.
Who was she? asked the priest.
I can't tell you father.
Was it Mary O'Doyle?
No Father
Was it Niamh O'Leary?
No Father.
Well my son, if you don't tell me who she was I can't give you absolution.
Later, Paddy meets his mate in a pub, his mate says Did the priest give you absolution?
No says Paddy, but I got a couple of hot tips for next Saturday night.
silverfoxcc said:
Golfing story
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
So, if the gorilla whacks it that hard when putting how come he won?
Ultra Sound Guy said:
silverfoxcc said:
Golfing story
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
So, if the gorilla whacks it that hard when putting how come he won?
Ultra Sound Guy said:
silverfoxcc said:
Golfing story
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
So, if the gorilla whacks it that hard when putting how come he won?
Ponpiman said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
silverfoxcc said:
Golfing story
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
So, if the gorilla whacks it that hard when putting how come he won?
Is the gorilla on a conveyor belt?
MarkwG said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
silverfoxcc said:
Golfing story
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
So, if the gorilla whacks it that hard when putting how come he won?
The gorilla is hitting it close enough to the hole that it's a 'gimme'. The pro has 'given' him the putt, meaning he doesn't have to actually pop it in the hole.
So the pro loses without realising the gorilla can't putt.
K12beano said:
Ponpiman said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
silverfoxcc said:
Golfing story
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
Chap walks into the club house with a gorilla and asks if anyone would like to play 50,00 per hole, Nobody moved, but the club pro said, ok but can we make it 200.00? The chap agreed and on the first hole a 350yd he went first hitting it 200yds doen the fairway,
The gorilla ambled up. looked at the ball and WHACK straight onto the green 5ft from the hole, The pro looked and said OK i will give you that
This went on for the full course, gorilla hitting the green in one, back in the clubhouse as the pro was paying up, he asked the bloke if he had ever thought of going pro with the gorilla?
The bloke said no, i make more touring the clubs, as nobody will admit losing to a gorilla
The pro but you could make millions..How is his putting?
The chap replied ..exactly like his driving of the tee.
So, if the gorilla whacks it that hard when putting how come he won?
Is the gorilla on a conveyor belt?
SpeckledJim said:
Answer in bold above.
The gorilla is hitting it close enough to the hole that it's a 'gimme'. The pro has 'given' him the putt, meaning he doesn't have to actually pop it in the hole.
So the pro loses without realising the gorilla can't putt.
The gorilla is hitting it close enough to the hole that it's a 'gimme'. The pro has 'given' him the putt, meaning he doesn't have to actually pop it in the hole.
So the pro loses without realising the gorilla can't putt.
Thanks... I know more about golf now, than I ever wanted to...Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff