Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)

[Lily the Pink]

Ummm, where's the earth rod ? Or does he keep a particularly wet floor ?

[Doofus]

Lily the Pink said:

Ummm, where's the earth rod ? Or does he keep a particularly wet floor ?

It's not live. It's a visual deterrent.

[K12beano]

Yeah, but no, but yeah...... but

[GloverMart]

I'm out bird watching with Sinead O'Connor.

So far, it's been seven owls and fifteen jays.

[nonsequitur]

Laurel Green said:

Barman: 'Don't see many cows in here' Cow: 'I'm not surprised at these prices. Shocking'

[Laurel Green]

nonsequitur said:

Laurel Green said:

Barman: 'Don't see many cows in here' Cow: 'I'm not surprised at these prices. Shocking'

The cows tipple being milk stout at a guess.

[K12beano]

Laurel Green said:

nonsequitur said:

Laurel Green said:

Barman: 'Don't see many cows in here' Cow: 'I'm not surprised at these prices. Shocking'

The cows tipple being milk stout at a guess.

I thought they all went for Mooooonshine......

[Halmyre]

Laurel Green said:

nonsequitur said:

Laurel Green said:

Barman: 'Don't see many cows in here' Cow: 'I'm not surprised at these prices. Shocking'

The cows tipple being milk stout at a guess.

What heifer gave you that idea?

[Laurel Green]

Halmyre said:

Laurel Green said:

nonsequitur said:

Laurel Green said:

Barman: 'Don't see many cows in here' Cow: 'I'm not surprised at these prices. Shocking'

The cows tipple being milk stout at a guess.

What heifer gave you that idea?

Oh, it was just an on the hoof suggestion!

[Mammasaid]

Laurel Green said:

Halmyre said:

Laurel Green said:

nonsequitur said:

Laurel Green said:

Barman: 'Don't see many cows in here' Cow: 'I'm not surprised at these prices. Shocking'

The cows tipple being milk stout at a guess.

What heifer gave you that idea?

Oh, it was just an on the hoof suggestion!

Oh, pull the udder one!

[PixelpeepZ4]

Today is the start of diarrhoea awareness week.
Runs until Friday....

[Voldemort]

PixelpeepZ4 said:

Today is the start of diarrhoea awareness week.
Runs until Friday....

That would explain the posts above yours: full of st!

[PushedDover]

I did learn the other day how the Norwegian navy has taken painting barcodes on the side of their hulls.
That is apparently so then they come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

[Nimby]

PushedDover said:

I did learn the other day how the Norwegian navy has taken painting barcodes on the side of their hulls.
That is apparently so then they come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

Wouldn't some kind of hidden marking be more secure? (See what I did there)

[glenrobbo]

Mammasaid said:

Laurel Green said:

Halmyre said:

Laurel Green said:

nonsequitur said:

Laurel Green said:

Barman: 'Don't see many cows in here' Cow: 'I'm not surprised at these prices. Shocking'

Pun

Pun?

Pun!

Pun!

Oi!!! You lot! There's a thread for that!
This is for jokes.

[PixelpeepZ4]

A bloke in the pub tried to sell me an incubator and what he said were giant lizard eggs - they looked like ordinary stones to me.
I told him they're rocks an' you don't have to put on the red light.

[MartG]

[rev-erend]

PixelpeepZ4 said:

Today is the start of diarrhoea awareness week.
Runs until Friday....

[ThunderSpook]

K12beano said:

Yeah, but no, but yeah...... but

This is not really funny, my company has designated all meeting room as single occupancy.

[nonsequitur]

ThunderSpook said:

K12beano said:

Yeah, but no, but yeah...... but

This is not really funny, my company has designated all meeting room as single occupancy.

Are you new to this thread? The joke is an instant reaction, not the back story.