Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)
Discussion
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.
Moulder said:
nonsequitur said:
Doofus said:
silverfoxcc said:
Just heard that there is an island off the south coast of Italy that is inhabited by 5 million Sicilian people
That is the biggest number i have ever heard
That is the biggest number i have ever heard
This is a joke thread and the laugh is on you
So winding it back I cannot do.
For balance:
nonsequitur said:
Scan through the thread and see how many 'joke follows joke' replies there are, and read the dozens of puns / wordplay replies to a previous joke.
This is a joke thread and the laugh is on you
So winding it back I cannot do.
Yes, that'll be it, the laugh is on me with my poor sense of humour. My point was that the lily was not in need of gilding. This is a joke thread and the laugh is on you
So winding it back I cannot do.
K12beano said:
CourtAgain said:
Transport for London's accountant very upset when his Range Rover's brakes suddenly seized on Hanger Lane Roundabout. He couldn't budget. 
That almost works.... 
Isn't Hanger Lane more of a "gyratory" than a roundabout though?
....eh? Kittens? What kittens!?
In fact, do we even know that TfL has an accountant rather than some numbers scribbled on the back of a fag packet?
Moulder said:
nonsequitur said:
Scan through the thread and see how many 'joke follows joke' replies there are, and read the dozens of puns / wordplay replies to a previous joke.
This is a joke thread and the laugh is on you
So winding it back I cannot do.
Yes, that'll be it, the laugh is on me with my poor sense of humour. My point was that the lily was not in need of gilding. This is a joke thread and the laugh is on you
So winding it back I cannot do.
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