Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)

[StevieBee]

To recognise International Women's Day, us men should show our appreciation and let our wives and girlfriends know that it's OK if they want to bump the ironing to tomorrow.

[Porsche guy]

StevieBee said:

To recognise International Women's Day, us men should show our appreciation and let our wives and girlfriends know that it's OK if they want to bump the ironing to tomorrow.

[Vipers]

I got fired for asking a customer if they wanted smoking or non-smoking.

Apparantly I'm supposed to ask "Cremation or burial"

[CopperBolt]

MartG said:

Kudos to her for continuing the interview even after a bird shat on her...

Bird shat? I thought she had borrowed Monica Lewinskys dress?

[Vipers]

CopperBolt said:

MartG said:

Kudos to her for continuing the interview even after a bird shat on her...

Bird shat? I thought she had borrowed Monica Lewinskys dress?

C'mon are you joking

[K12beano]

Vipers said:

C'mon are you joking

That'd be a first for this thread......

[Laurel Green]

[mybrainhurts]

MartG said:

Kudos to her for continuing the interview even after a bird shat on her...



Edit - Interested to note that while st is censored shat isn't

That'sh becaush thish is the Sean Connery joke thread.

If he were alive, the poor chap would have shat through the whole interview, thinking thish ish st.

[MarkwG]

Tongue firmly in cheek...

[pincher]

Seeing as this is PH…..

[EarlOfHazard]

[oxford drinker]

Sorry to hear of Meghan Markle’s car crash next month.

[Pixelpeep Z4]

I sneezed over my toast earlier. I can't believe it's snot butter.

[Vipers]

oxford drinker said:

Sorry to hear of Meghan Markle’s car crash next month.

[StevieBee]

Not certain if this is allowed but made me giggle!

[Hugh Jarse]

Suspect her trunnions have gone.
She may need regassing.

[EarlOfHazard]

[mart 63]

[davhill]

It was a sunny afternoon and several birds were perching in a tree.
A lovely white dove blushed and said, "I'm a little dove and I've had a little love."

A blue tit had arrived just in time to hear this. It too was blushing.
It said, "I'm a little tit and I've had a little bit."

And a plaintive voice came from ground level...

"...I'm a little drake...and it's all a big mistake."

[motco]

Hugh Jarse said:

Suspect her trunnions have gone.
She may need regassing.

...and a new talk converter...