Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)
Discussion
There's no Nimitz. 
Some bad news, not been feeling my best over the last few days I just wanted to let everyone know that I have been admitted into hospital and they are keeping me in. I have only gone and bloody poisoned myself, thanks to my own culinary skills. What I thought was an onion for my curry turned out to be a daffodil bulb. They said I should be out early spring.
An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery. The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman: “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn’t even see me.”
“That’s just simple thievery,” the Irishman replied. “I’ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.”
The Irishman then proceeded to call out to the owner of the bakery and says: “Sir, I want to show you a magic trick.”
The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked two more times and after eating them again the owner says: “Okay my friend, where’s the magic trick?”
The Irishman then said: “Look in the Englishman’s pockets.”
“That’s just simple thievery,” the Irishman replied. “I’ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.”
The Irishman then proceeded to call out to the owner of the bakery and says: “Sir, I want to show you a magic trick.”
The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked two more times and after eating them again the owner says: “Okay my friend, where’s the magic trick?”
The Irishman then said: “Look in the Englishman’s pockets.”
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