Lies you’ve told your kids, and lies you were told as a kid

[GrizzlyBear]

williamp said:

There is a thread on here about droped kerbs, which reminded me: if you want a drop kerb, the council come along with a really big lorry to squah then down for you.

Its true: My Dad told me

I think if you converted the amount my local council charges for a drop kerb into pound coins, that just might work, it would be quicker than the council, a tidier result, and would leave fewer rusty nails in the gutter (where did the nails came from...)


A relative told me when I were a lad: if you undo your belly button, your bum falls off!

[ChevronB19]

williamp said:

Just remember a lovely one, from when I was scared as a young child and my Grandad comforted me. It what I say to my children:

Thunder is just the Angels rearranging the furniture

That is bloody brilliant, and I will definitely use that!

[RDMcG]

Told my son Andrew that his full name was Ferdinand Rudolf and we had just abbreviated it.

[davhill]

ChevronB19 said:

That is bloody brilliant, and I will definitely use that!

Back in my childhood days, it was the angels having a
load of coal delivered.

[easytiger123]

Not quite OT but when my son was 8 or 9 he would fly unaccompanied a fair bit as his mother and I were divorced and she lived in the states. On one such flight from Tokyo to London he was flying JAL and at Tokyo airport the check-in lady asked me what name he liked to be referred to on the flight. I said (out of his earshot) he like to be called "muppet".

I rang him when he was safely at his granny's house in London the next day and asked how the flight was. He said it was great but that all the Japanese cabin crew kept calling him a muppet. Yes I am a terrible father and no, he didn't grow up to be a serial killer. Or a muppet.

[Swampy1982]

That the sheep on the mountains had two legs shorter than the other to help them walk around it, depending on which legs were shorter depended which way they went

[Roofless Toothless]

But that’s true!

[LaurasOtherHalf]

Bullett said:

My 9yo has a unicorn gillet she loves, I told her that Gillet was French for cold arms.

Tried that in the wife and mother this morning, totally bought it.