Allowing a newly 11yr old a key and walk home 1 day a week
Discussion
Our daughters walked from school to the nearest station to school and catch the train one stop home then either change onto the tube for one stop or walk for 10 minutes home from the age of eleven. Had their own key and a smart phone with ‘find my iPhone’ software.
Worked well for all of us. Certainly made them more independent and saved my wife doing an afternoon school run once the youngest started.
I used to be allowed to go out on my own and explore London when I was that age. My parents only requirement was that, when on the tube, I rode in the carriage with the guard. #showingmyage
Worked well for all of us. Certainly made them more independent and saved my wife doing an afternoon school run once the youngest started.
I used to be allowed to go out on my own and explore London when I was that age. My parents only requirement was that, when on the tube, I rode in the carriage with the guard. #showingmyage
Hugo Stiglitz said:
I gave him a spare key in summer mainly to give him a sense of empowerment.
I found it in the car bent to 90degrees.
Absolutely bizarre
he has no idea what happened and thinks he did not do it. Since I gave him the key and then tried to use it shortly after, I think it's clear.
he probably had his phone in his hand and was watching YouTube so he never saw anything....
We have started letting our 11year old girl walk into town on her own, she does a bit of shopping for elderly neighbours and gets some sweets.
Been doing it since Christmas, she has an iphone and we have findmyphone enabled so we can track her if needs be.
She doesnt have a key, but we have a place to hide a key that she uses.
Next year when she starts secondary she will have to walk to school (20min walk) so thought she may as well get used to it!
Been doing it since Christmas, she has an iphone and we have findmyphone enabled so we can track her if needs be.
She doesnt have a key, but we have a place to hide a key that she uses.
Next year when she starts secondary she will have to walk to school (20min walk) so thought she may as well get used to it!
Both mine had keys (and alarm code) from the last term at primary and got themselves to and from school at that point.
One reasonably busy road to cross - obviously taught them how to cross properly and safely on their own first.
No phones, as school had banned them. (also nothing to get robbed for)
Showed them a safe route to go.
Easier if they are doing the same as their friends though.
Close neigbours were still taking kids/picking them up from school in the car when they were 16. Same school, easy safe route, paranoid parents.
You have to let go at some point and let them do things on their own.
Allowing them to go and sit in the park at midnight drinking when they were 13/14 was a no no though (unlike some of the parents I knew).
I had a key when I was about 8, and was taking my 5 year old brother to school on the bus. Obviously the 1970's were a lot safer
One reasonably busy road to cross - obviously taught them how to cross properly and safely on their own first.
No phones, as school had banned them. (also nothing to get robbed for)
Showed them a safe route to go.
Easier if they are doing the same as their friends though.
Close neigbours were still taking kids/picking them up from school in the car when they were 16. Same school, easy safe route, paranoid parents.
You have to let go at some point and let them do things on their own.
Allowing them to go and sit in the park at midnight drinking when they were 13/14 was a no no though (unlike some of the parents I knew).
I had a key when I was about 8, and was taking my 5 year old brother to school on the bus. Obviously the 1970's were a lot safer
My eldest gets the bus from school to the village green then walks the rest of the way. Has done since she was 11.
Has a key, been trustworthy.
The disadvantage of being rural is there are fewer passers by so vulnerable in the regards that no-one would see anything.
The advantage of being rural is that there are fewer passers by so less chances, plus she can always take off across the fields if a car is following for instance.
On balance we went for it and it has paid off as she is much more self reliant than some of her contemporaries.
iPhone with the track and parental snoop app as part of the deal.
Grandparents farm a mile away as well so if needs be she can ring Nan.
Another friend lives in the next village so the option is there as well to say on a stop and get off there.
Has a key, been trustworthy.
The disadvantage of being rural is there are fewer passers by so vulnerable in the regards that no-one would see anything.
The advantage of being rural is that there are fewer passers by so less chances, plus she can always take off across the fields if a car is following for instance.
On balance we went for it and it has paid off as she is much more self reliant than some of her contemporaries.
iPhone with the track and parental snoop app as part of the deal.
Grandparents farm a mile away as well so if needs be she can ring Nan.
Another friend lives in the next village so the option is there as well to say on a stop and get off there.
We used a key safe for the side which worked well. I think we forgot to out the key in once, and the boy actually had the bright idea to go next door as they have a spare for the front door.
He's walked to school in the village all his life. Year 13 now, and really looking forward to getting back to it tomorrow.
He's walked to school in the village all his life. Year 13 now, and really looking forward to getting back to it tomorrow.
At 11 years old i was walking to the bus stop near home, getting the bus into town, then another out and walking to school
Same after school in reverse
I had a key although my mum would usually be home but a couple of days a week I’d be on my own for a couple of hours
Kids should learn to be independent and take responsibility
Same after school in reverse
I had a key although my mum would usually be home but a couple of days a week I’d be on my own for a couple of hours
Kids should learn to be independent and take responsibility
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I used to walk home from school from the age of 7 (about a mile and a half) let myself in the house, then go to my parents shop to do "work" long before phones, we did`t even have a house phone till I was 19never lost a key
at 11 I was walking home from the "big" school other side of town about 2 miles away,
kids are wrapped in cottonwool these days.
When I was 10 yrs old I would be given a packed lunch by my Mum and off I'd go to play...back home by no later than 5pm...having left sometimes at around 8am. Met my friends, we'd bike everywhere. Forests, quarries, shopping malls, parks. Take airguns to derelict buildings. Stage wars.
Loved my childhood.
Schooldays similar, bmx to school, come home after, not always directly. Great times!
My two stepkids were taken to school and collected every day. No such freedoms as I enjoyed, my wife would never allow it.
Different times. Still, reckon I'd be ok giving a key and mobile to an 11 yr old.
Loved my childhood.
Schooldays similar, bmx to school, come home after, not always directly. Great times!
My two stepkids were taken to school and collected every day. No such freedoms as I enjoyed, my wife would never allow it.
Different times. Still, reckon I'd be ok giving a key and mobile to an 11 yr old.
Coolbananas said:
When I was 10 yrs old I would be given a packed lunch by my Mum and off I'd go to play...back home by no later than 5pm...having left sometimes at around 8am. Met my friends, we'd bike everywhere. Forests, quarries, shopping malls, parks. Take airguns to derelict buildings. Stage wars.
Loved my childhood.
Schooldays similar, bmx to school, come home after, not always directly. Great times!
My two stepkids were taken to school and collected every day. No such freedoms as I enjoyed, my wife would never allow it.
Different times. Still, reckon I'd be ok giving a key and mobile to an 11 yr old.
Same as me and that was only 20 years ago I was told either in when it got dark or by 8pm in the summer I was usually in by 6pm as that was dinner but back out if it was a nice day. Its no more or less dangerous now but for some reason its way too dangerous to even allow kids out these days.Loved my childhood.
Schooldays similar, bmx to school, come home after, not always directly. Great times!
My two stepkids were taken to school and collected every day. No such freedoms as I enjoyed, my wife would never allow it.
Different times. Still, reckon I'd be ok giving a key and mobile to an 11 yr old.
Hugo Stiglitz said:
That's another topic.. he isn't having a smart phone yet.
We are getting him a 'dumb' phone.
GPS tracker fob sewn into bag, in lieu of tracking by phone.We are getting him a 'dumb' phone.
In my experience, it depends on the individual child. My daughter would have been easily sensible enough, my son definitely not. Showing a kid who has the right characteristics that kind of trust can be massively rewarding for them and character building.
CloudStuff said:
Hugo Stiglitz said:
That's another topic.. he isn't having a smart phone yet.
We are getting him a 'dumb' phone.
GPS tracker fob sewn into bag, in lieu of tracking by phone.We are getting him a 'dumb' phone.
In my experience, it depends on the individual child. My daughter would have been easily sensible enough, my son definitely not. Showing a kid who has the right characteristics that kind of trust can be massively rewarding for them and character building.
Speaking of which before Christmas me and the wife decided to pick up son from school as it was pissing it down, we parked up sent texts messages, calls, WhatsApp etc no response. Then got gridlocked in the car park for about 20 mins.
When we got home found he had made himself a snack, got changed and was doing his homework...phone had run out of battery ... after we calmed down a quick reminder about charging his phone and realised he was quite capable of sorting himself out and can take a soaking.
Hugo Stiglitz said:
Plan was to carabiner it to somewhere inside his backpack.
My lad has walked home since he turned 11 in year 6. His key is on a lanyard attached to the inside of his school bag. He’s never lost one. We also gave him and old iPhone and “Find my” is turned on, so we have some basic tracking should we need it.
Never had a problem in the last two years.
MG CHRIS said:
Coolbananas said:
When I was 10 yrs old I would be given a packed lunch by my Mum and off I'd go to play...back home by no later than 5pm...having left sometimes at around 8am. Met my friends, we'd bike everywhere. Forests, quarries, shopping malls, parks. Take airguns to derelict buildings. Stage wars.
Loved my childhood.
Schooldays similar, bmx to school, come home after, not always directly. Great times!
My two stepkids were taken to school and collected every day. No such freedoms as I enjoyed, my wife would never allow it.
Different times. Still, reckon I'd be ok giving a key and mobile to an 11 yr old.
Same as me and that was only 20 years ago I was told either in when it got dark or by 8pm in the summer I was usually in by 6pm as that was dinner but back out if it was a nice day. Its no more or less dangerous now but for some reason its way too dangerous to even allow kids out these days.Loved my childhood.
Schooldays similar, bmx to school, come home after, not always directly. Great times!
My two stepkids were taken to school and collected every day. No such freedoms as I enjoyed, my wife would never allow it.
Different times. Still, reckon I'd be ok giving a key and mobile to an 11 yr old.
Aged 11, starting secondary school. Mum says "Here's your season ticket, you know where the station is, get off at the station named XXX, walk to school. I'll be at work so let yourself if, you can have 2 biscuits then clean your shoes and do your homework".
Managed the first part of the equation, got off at the right stop, realised I had no idea how to get to the school. Hung around the station until I spotted some boys in the same blazer and followed them. Worked out OK.
Did that for the next 5 years, never lost a key and was never late for school. 11 year olds are more capable than we give them credit for.
My children walk the 1 mile to school since the youngest turned 11, except when it's raining hard or the youngest has particularly many things to carry, in which case my wife insists on driving them, which still annoys me somewhat.
Managed the first part of the equation, got off at the right stop, realised I had no idea how to get to the school. Hung around the station until I spotted some boys in the same blazer and followed them. Worked out OK.
Did that for the next 5 years, never lost a key and was never late for school. 11 year olds are more capable than we give them credit for.
My children walk the 1 mile to school since the youngest turned 11, except when it's raining hard or the youngest has particularly many things to carry, in which case my wife insists on driving them, which still annoys me somewhat.
I grew up in a dump of a village and I was a latch-key kid at 7. So I don't see a problem if they are sensible enough not to lose the key.
If you are worried, you could always give them a garage key so they can get out of the cold, wind and rain until you get back from work. You will have to trust them at some point...
I would just work out which is the cheapest/easiest lock to replace, and give them that key.
If you are worried, you could always give them a garage key so they can get out of the cold, wind and rain until you get back from work. You will have to trust them at some point...
I would just work out which is the cheapest/easiest lock to replace, and give them that key.
Edited by GrizzlyBear on Sunday 7th March 20:24
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