Allowing a newly 11yr old a key and walk home 1 day a week
Discussion
My eldest got his first phone and first key on his eleventh birthday. So far, so good. The key’s attached to a Wingback key cache with a tenner and note inside.
Given the sheer number of people I see driving whilst looking at their phones, I’ve started encouraging him to walk on the pavement nearest to oncoming traffic, as you would on a country lane.
Given the sheer number of people I see driving whilst looking at their phones, I’ve started encouraging him to walk on the pavement nearest to oncoming traffic, as you would on a country lane.
Edited by Risotto on Sunday 7th March 20:43
d. We were far too poor to dream, four to a bed under an old potato sack, we were lucky if we got any sleep at all. 
The summer before their last year at primary seems to be the time most people start letting their kids out, so aged 10.
As above, get a key lock and a charged mobile phone and it'll be fine assuming they have a sensible route home.
The main thing is stressing the importance of letting you know what they're doing. Walking home isn't the problem, it's the getting distracted and going to the park with their friends without telling you that is. By all means let them, but only on the basis they check in with you first.
They'll mess up once and not tell you. You tell them that you'll pick them up from school for the rest of their lives if they do it again and you should be fine from then on! 'I don't mind what you do, as long as you let me know what you're doing' or 'I'm happy to let you have fun, but all I ask in return is...' seems to be reasonable and understandable to them at that age as long as it's enforced if they don't.
As above, get a key lock and a charged mobile phone and it'll be fine assuming they have a sensible route home.
The main thing is stressing the importance of letting you know what they're doing. Walking home isn't the problem, it's the getting distracted and going to the park with their friends without telling you that is. By all means let them, but only on the basis they check in with you first.
They'll mess up once and not tell you. You tell them that you'll pick them up from school for the rest of their lives if they do it again and you should be fine from then on! 'I don't mind what you do, as long as you let me know what you're doing' or 'I'm happy to let you have fun, but all I ask in return is...' seems to be reasonable and understandable to them at that age as long as it's enforced if they don't.
From the 1st year of high school I had a key to the backdoor of the house and a garage key to put my bike away but not the front door.
We were allowed a snack when we got home before parents came home to make dinner. When there was a half day I was allowed to make supernoodles or beans on toast for lunch using the microwave, kettle and toaster. I wasnt allowed to use the oven or hob?
I had a (dumb) phone nokia 5110 when I turned 13 and was told it was for emergency use only!!! It was payg and if I used the credit on it I had to pay for it from the money I made from my paper round.
It had mum and dads work numbers and my brothers and not many more .
We were allowed a snack when we got home before parents came home to make dinner. When there was a half day I was allowed to make supernoodles or beans on toast for lunch using the microwave, kettle and toaster. I wasnt allowed to use the oven or hob?
I had a (dumb) phone nokia 5110 when I turned 13 and was told it was for emergency use only!!! It was payg and if I used the credit on it I had to pay for it from the money I made from my paper round.
It had mum and dads work numbers and my brothers and not many more .
MYOB said:
Vasco said:
Is it my imagination, or just confused, but I thought it used to be illegal to leave a child alone in a house if they were under........(13...?)
Does that ring a bell with anyone else?
There is no law stating a minimum age for leaving kids at home alone. Does that ring a bell with anyone else?
When i was in middle school - thats 8-12yrs - I always walked to and from home.
This was London suburbs.
I can remember perhaps three occasions across my school life where Dad drove me to school.
Quite a few kids had a key on a string or shoelace around their neck. Never thought anything about that at the time.
At 12 a few of us used to catch the bus into nearest town (kingston).
Out on bikes in the summer holidays from age 12 onwards - only caveat was we had to be back by dark. Used to cycle miles along Thames footpath, set a few fires etc. you know how it is at that age.
I was 12 in 1981, to give it some context.
Once my daughter hits 5 she’ll be out to play with other local kids in the street. Again some context, I now don't live in UK and street is a narrowish alley, lots of kids out on bikes etc.
We wont be having her fitted with satellite tracking!
She is 3 at present and already has a decent idea that if anything happens she knows how to go Uncle Jean’s villa or Uncle Sven’s house.
This was London suburbs.
I can remember perhaps three occasions across my school life where Dad drove me to school.
Quite a few kids had a key on a string or shoelace around their neck. Never thought anything about that at the time.
At 12 a few of us used to catch the bus into nearest town (kingston).
Out on bikes in the summer holidays from age 12 onwards - only caveat was we had to be back by dark. Used to cycle miles along Thames footpath, set a few fires etc. you know how it is at that age.
I was 12 in 1981, to give it some context.
Once my daughter hits 5 she’ll be out to play with other local kids in the street. Again some context, I now don't live in UK and street is a narrowish alley, lots of kids out on bikes etc.
We wont be having her fitted with satellite tracking!
She is 3 at present and already has a decent idea that if anything happens she knows how to go Uncle Jean’s villa or Uncle Sven’s house.
Edited by jdw100 on Monday 8th March 01:52
It's funny, I've just had this conversation with my partner (we don't live together; she has a 13yo boy).
She grew up in South East London, never needed a key as her mother was a housewife, but did bus to school.
I grew up in the North East, in a New Town, and was a latch key kid from 8 or 9 years old. My mother was a single parent and worked until 7pm. My brother and I did go to a neighbour/friend on the later nights, but if my mother finished at 4 we would be home alone for an hour or so. As we got older, time by ourselves
She occasionally needs to reality check with me what is OK for the lad to be doing. She told me this morning he'd coerced her into driving him to school all week - I told her to make him walk. It's three quarters of a mile at best and is almost one road all the way. That's just him being lazy, though. He has a key, and frequently can't find it. I've never lost a key.
She grew up in South East London, never needed a key as her mother was a housewife, but did bus to school.
I grew up in the North East, in a New Town, and was a latch key kid from 8 or 9 years old. My mother was a single parent and worked until 7pm. My brother and I did go to a neighbour/friend on the later nights, but if my mother finished at 4 we would be home alone for an hour or so. As we got older, time by ourselves
She occasionally needs to reality check with me what is OK for the lad to be doing. She told me this morning he'd coerced her into driving him to school all week - I told her to make him walk. It's three quarters of a mile at best and is almost one road all the way. That's just him being lazy, though. He has a key, and frequently can't find it. I've never lost a key.
I'm sure my memories of going to school were playing tricks on me, but no, Mum confirmed I did indeed walk to school with my friends down the road when I was 5 or 6. When I was 7 and went up to Primary (different schools at the time) I crossed a unmanned level crossing. My daughter is 6, there's no way, no way on earth I'd do it now. Her school is 300m from our house as the crow flies, still nope, not a chance.
Anyway, Eldest is now 15, he started to walk home alone at 11, but this was year 6 as he's one of the oldest in his class. We used to leave the key hidden to save him having to look after it, but he preferred to take it, bit of maturity. He's only lost 1 key in 4 years. I remember when I had his cut they offered a second for a £1 and asked if I could buy a 3rd, 4th and 5th for £1 too, they said no, but I've never needed it.
Kitchen was usually a mess and he worked out we never got home before 17:30, so he used to invite his friends home, which was not allowed. I came home early one day to find him sat with 4 girls in the Living Room, so he got into a bit of trouble for that.
Anyway, Eldest is now 15, he started to walk home alone at 11, but this was year 6 as he's one of the oldest in his class. We used to leave the key hidden to save him having to look after it, but he preferred to take it, bit of maturity. He's only lost 1 key in 4 years. I remember when I had his cut they offered a second for a £1 and asked if I could buy a 3rd, 4th and 5th for £1 too, they said no, but I've never needed it.
Kitchen was usually a mess and he worked out we never got home before 17:30, so he used to invite his friends home, which was not allowed. I came home early one day to find him sat with 4 girls in the Living Room, so he got into a bit of trouble for that.
Just like a few others
Walked to junior school alone – so 7 onwards… cycled to school when we moved to Southport – 9 onwards.
’76 – aged 11 I got back home to an empty house. Let myself in, often there would be a note to switch the oven on at a given temperature for the family dinner. Got changed, did some homework, had a cup of tea, set the table, watched telly…Only lost a key once, but a neighbour had a spare.
As above, holidays - out at 8 am, back before dark, £1 for a chippy lunch - happy days.
Walked to junior school alone – so 7 onwards… cycled to school when we moved to Southport – 9 onwards.
’76 – aged 11 I got back home to an empty house. Let myself in, often there would be a note to switch the oven on at a given temperature for the family dinner. Got changed, did some homework, had a cup of tea, set the table, watched telly…Only lost a key once, but a neighbour had a spare.
As above, holidays - out at 8 am, back before dark, £1 for a chippy lunch - happy days.
sherman said:
P-Jay said:
I came home early one day to find him sat with 4 girls in the Living Room, so he got into a bit of trouble for that.
What a lad 
I don't think him being allowed to walk home along / have a key at 11 had an effect on his sexuality though
Hugo Stiglitz said:
My second cousin had a lot of female friends from a young age. We all knew he was gay even back then, probably from about 10yrs old. He's a top lad and I wouldn't change who he is for the world.
Oh there's LOADS I'd change about him given the chance, ha ha. Showing a bit more interest in School, being less of a hormonal Dick, actually listening to his parents for once. Not drinking himself into a state requiring an A&E admission during a global pandemic, that alone would have be grand! But his Gayness isn't one of them.
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