Are you turning into your Dad?
Discussion
No.
I have a casual relationship with my father. He left my mother penniless when I was five, and was always a womanizer.
He never disappeared - he was there every weekend, and rarely didn't turn up, despite this there were a lot of neglected promises and commitments. My brother and I never got to see him outside of the rigid agreement, and that wasn't my mother's doing, either.
We went through a period of not speaking at all when his current wife decided to bugger off and leave him with an unmanageable mortgage, which I cleared the arrears on for him. He then took her back. I couldn't hack her, so as a result I never spoke to him. Childish perhaps, but I was younger.
He's immensely practical, and has helped me with work on my flat, and none of that is unappreciated, but I do struggle to look up to him in the way that people have posted here. He's only in his late 50s, but he's quite bigoted and homophobic. As a result, I am reluctant to introduce him to my partner's family. Half of them are gay. I am worried about being hideously embarrassed.
This has definitely had a bearing on my decision to remain child-free, because I wouldn't want to be an average-at-best father.
My partner's son is sadly having the same experience with his dad that I've had with mine (he's 13). This is what spurs me to ensure that I don't turn into my father.
Sorry for the long post, but I feel better for getting it out there.
I have a casual relationship with my father. He left my mother penniless when I was five, and was always a womanizer.
He never disappeared - he was there every weekend, and rarely didn't turn up, despite this there were a lot of neglected promises and commitments. My brother and I never got to see him outside of the rigid agreement, and that wasn't my mother's doing, either.
We went through a period of not speaking at all when his current wife decided to bugger off and leave him with an unmanageable mortgage, which I cleared the arrears on for him. He then took her back. I couldn't hack her, so as a result I never spoke to him. Childish perhaps, but I was younger.
He's immensely practical, and has helped me with work on my flat, and none of that is unappreciated, but I do struggle to look up to him in the way that people have posted here. He's only in his late 50s, but he's quite bigoted and homophobic. As a result, I am reluctant to introduce him to my partner's family. Half of them are gay. I am worried about being hideously embarrassed.
This has definitely had a bearing on my decision to remain child-free, because I wouldn't want to be an average-at-best father.
My partner's son is sadly having the same experience with his dad that I've had with mine (he's 13). This is what spurs me to ensure that I don't turn into my father.
Sorry for the long post, but I feel better for getting it out there.
My wife says I am (to be fair she's been saying that since we got married over 30 years ago), which I guess, apart from the usual casual homophobic, xenophobic and racist attitudes, could be worse. Today is his 80th birthday, so if I can get that far without the myriad of lotions, potions and tablets he has to take daily I'll consider that not bad going.
Bloody Well hope not. He was our stepdad, me and my brother. Married my Mum when we where 5 and 8. They 2 daughters, so my stepsisters, who where treat like princesses. We, my brother and I, where the but of his temper, gravitating to fists when my brother reached 18! He never touched me after I reached 15, and I made sure he heard me quietly tell Mum I'd slit his throat one day when he fell asleep after another night in the pub. 
By then I was also bigger than him so he didn't even mention it! Typical bully. Refused to let us have anything to do with our real dad after the divorce came through, or even go to his funeral when he died, I was 14 then. Needless to say, I didn't shed a tear when the stepdad died or go to his funeral, although I did offer to say a few words as I pissed on his grave. Sis asked me not to 
By then I was also bigger than him so he didn't even mention it! Typical bully. Refused to let us have anything to do with our real dad after the divorce came through, or even go to his funeral when he died, I was 14 then. Needless to say, I didn't shed a tear when the stepdad died or go to his funeral, although I did offer to say a few words as I pissed on his grave. Sis asked me not to 
Short Grain said:
Bloody Well hope not. He was our stepdad, me and my brother. Married my Mum when we where 5 and 8. They 2 daughters, so my stepsisters, who where treat like princesses. We, my brother and I, where the but of his temper, gravitating to fists when my brother reached 18! He never touched me after I reached 15, and I made sure he heard me quietly tell Mum I'd slit his throat one day when he fell asleep after another night in the pub. By then I was also bigger than him so he didn't even mention it! Typical bully. Refused to let us have anything to do with our real dad after the divorce came through, or even go to his funeral when he died, I was 14 then. Needless to say, I didn't shed a tear when the stepdad died or go to his funeral, although I did offer to say a few words as I pissed on his grave. Sis asked me not to
A pity that you had to grow up with that, but it sounds like you've kept a clear head. By then I was also bigger than him so he didn't even mention it! Typical bully. Refused to let us have anything to do with our real dad after the divorce came through, or even go to his funeral when he died, I was 14 then. Needless to say, I didn't shed a tear when the stepdad died or go to his funeral, although I did offer to say a few words as I pissed on his grave. Sis asked me not to I bet that was a nice piss.
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