Advice/Help! I am going Grey in lockdown... Need Hair dye?

[PiesAreGreat]

I am now in my 40s and since lockdown my hair is going noticeably greyer .

I might be able to get away with doing something now, without it being too obvious when I return to the office (yeah, right... but I can live in hope...) as working from home is bound to end sooner or later. Also, as I am single and haven't been on a date since the lockdown started, I can't afford to lose any confidence, as I don't have much to lose after 16 months on my own, so going grey is not going to help.

If it makes any difference, I have short, (mostly) light to medium brown really thick hair, bit wavy apparently, but it grows quite quickly, with very pale skin so if any leave massive patches of dye on the hairline (when we were together, my ex-girlfriend demanded I help her remove them when she dyed her hair), so if that happens with blokes hair dye I need to know as it will be obvious on my skin!

Before I get all the "brave the grey/silver fox" crap, I have almost zero charm, confidence, sophistication or charisma, so will fail miserably at the silver fox, Clooney esq stuff.

So what is the best hair dye, had a look in the supermarket the other day.. now even more confused!

There were several dyes? which ones are best/easiest? easy is important for me, as my hair care routine is an occasional wash and cut it short/ keep it tidy.

There was one that sounded sensible was a grey Control GX grey reducing shampoo, any one tried it? it sounded OK (if it works?), I have had a few grey hairs for years but there are a lot more, I just want less (quite a few less) grey. I don't want to have jet back hair that is obviously dyed!

Any help?

I would normally just ask my mates, but they are all married, some have already lost most of their hair so will be of no use, others are all quite happy to get fat and grey (their wives aren't so happy with their plans...), so I will not be getting anything useful from them other than piss takes and "mate, you gotta brave the grey" but I imagine is different when you have been married for 15 years and have a few kids!!! and I don't have either...

[Don1]

Honestly? Own it. It's a badge of honour, you have earned them.

[Road2Ruin]

Just for men. It works. Start modest and see how you feel.

[Wacky Racer]

Seriously, embrace it, it's quite normal to start going grey in your forties for many people, and Richard Gere, George Clooney and Jose Mourinho all look good.

Paul Mc'Cartney , Jimmy Page, Tom Jones all dyed their hair for years but now don't bother.

Just my 2p, but it's up to you

[PiesAreGreat]

Don1 said:

Honestly? Own it. It's a badge of honour, you have earned them.

Honest question, how would I "own" going grey? that is like telling me to embrace arthritis... No, I will not fall without a fight!!

I don't think doing an overly stressful job for too many years is a badge of honour.

Yeah, I don't want to go grey! apparently, I look young for my age (although I think that has more to do with the fact I am relatively slim), so after spending most of my life looking old for my age, I don't want to look any older.

Every woman I have been with in the last 20 years dyed her hair as she was going grey and/or wanted to have fairer hair, why shouldn't us blokes?

Edited by PiesAreGreat on Saturday 31st July 23:14

[Barchettaman]

Mate, do not dye your hair, particularly with a home dye kit, they always look st.

Go more regularly to the hairdressers. Short and neat works well with grey.

Don’t worry about it.

[OzzyR1]

PiesAreGreat said:

I am now in my 40s and since lockdown my hair is going noticeably greyer .

I might be able to get away with doing something now, without it being too obvious when I return to the office (yeah, right... but I can live in hope...) as working from home is bound to end sooner or later. Also, as I am single and haven't been on a date since the lockdown started, I can't afford to lose any confidence, as I don't have much to lose after 16 months on my own, so going grey is not going to help.

If it makes any difference, I have short, (mostly) light to medium brown really thick hair, bit wavy apparently, but it grows quite quickly, with very pale skin so if any leave massive patches of dye on the hairline (when we were together, my ex-girlfriend demanded I help her remove them when she dyed her hair), so if that happens with blokes hair dye I need to know as it will be obvious on my skin!

Before I get all the "brave the grey/silver fox" crap, I have almost zero charm, confidence, sophistication or charisma, so will fail miserably at the silver fox, Clooney esq stuff.

So what is the best hair dye, had a look in the supermarket the other day.. now even more confused!

There were several dyes? which ones are best/easiest? easy is important for me, as my hair care routine is an occasional wash and cut it short/ keep it tidy.

There was one that sounded sensible was a grey Control GX grey reducing shampoo, any one tried it? it sounded OK (if it works?), I have had a few grey hairs for years but there are a lot more, I just want less (quite a few less) grey. I don't want to have jet back hair that is obviously dyed!

Any help?

I would normally just ask my mates, but they are all married, some have already lost most of their hair so will be of no use, others are all quite happy to get fat and grey (their wives aren't so happy with their plans...), so I will not be getting anything useful from them other than piss takes and "mate, you gotta brave the grey" but I imagine is different when you have been married for 15 years and have a few kids!!! and I don't have either...

Don't know you from a bloke on the street but from reading you post it sounds like you are getting a bit more concerned about this than perhaps you should.

You are in your 40's, so is it safe to assume you are looking for a partner similar in age? If so, they aren't going to be concerned about any grey hairs any more than you will be worried about any parts of their body that have naturally succumbed to the aging process.

That said, you might be looking to pull a 22-year old with a body worthy of a bikini calendar. If so, what you need in that circumstance is a huge wallet. Nothing else matters - hair, body, personality all irrelevant.

Bit like this:



Assuming that's Flavio and not you, I appreciate that you don't want to go full "silver-fox", but seems pointless hiding behind hair dye.

Let's say you meet a woman & get into a relationship - at what stage do you plan on letting her know that you dye your hair? Will you let her find the Just for Men in the bathroom cupboard or will you try and keep it going in secret for another 20 years and claim you haven't got a grey hair in your early 60's?

My point above stands, forget the odd bits of grey - it's allowed, we're all getting older and no potential partner worth her salt will judge you for that.

Rather than dye, you are better off getting it decently styled and working with what you have.


Note you are asking for recommendations on the best dye available to buy.

Even if you decide to ignore the above, do not ignore this!!!

Don't do a DIY dye job, go to a barber or hairdresser - even if its not your regular one and get them to do it for you, properly.

If you have a water leak in your house, you call a plumber, if your pet is ill, you take it to the vet. They are good at what they do - same as hair stylists, don't crack on yourself or it will end in disappointment.

[Wacky Racer]

PiesAreGreat said:

Honest question, how would I "own" going grey? that is like telling me to embrace arthritis... No, I will not fall without a fight!!

I don't think doing an overly stressful job for too many years is a badge of honour.

Yeah, I don't want to go grey! apparently, I look young for my age (although I think that has more to do with the fact I am relatively slim), so after spending most of my life looking old for my age, I don't want to look any older.

Every woman I have been with in the last 20 years dyed her hair as she was going grey and/or wanted to have fairer hair, why shouldn't us blokes?

Most middle aged women find grey haired men attractive as long as they don't look like Plug out of The Bash Street Kids.

[BobsPigeon]

Jesus, just go fking grey man. There's nothing more desperately sad than a middle aged man dying his hair...

In my opinion... No offence to anyone who does like... Obviously.

[PiesAreGreat]

OzzyR1 said:

Don't know you from a bloke on the street but from reading you post it sounds like you are getting a bit more concerned about this than perhaps you should.

You are in your 40's, so is it safe to assume you are looking for a partner similar in age? If so, they aren't going to be concerned about any grey hairs any more than you will be worried about any parts of their body that have naturally succumbed to the aging process.

That said, you might be looking to pull a 22-year old with a body worthy of a bikini calendar. If so, what you need in that circumstance is a huge wallet. Nothing else matters - hair, body, personality all irrelevant.

Bit like this:



Assuming that's Flavio and not you, I appreciate that you don't want to go full "silver-fox", but seems pointless hiding behind hair dye.

Let's say you meet a woman & get into a relationship - at what stage do you plan on letting her know that you dye your hair? Will you let her find the Just for Men in the bathroom cupboard or will you try and keep it going in secret for another 20 years and claim you haven't got a grey hair in your early 60's?

My point above stands, forget the odd bits of grey - it's allowed, we're all getting older and no potential partner worth her salt will judge you for that.

Rather than dye, you are better off getting it decently styled and working with what you have.


Note you are asking for recommendations on the best dye available to buy.

Even if you decide to ignore the above, do not ignore this!!!

Don't do a DIY dye job, go to a barber or hairdresser - even if its not your regular one and get them to do it for you, properly.

If you have a water leak in your house, you call a plumber, if your pet is ill, you take it to the vet. They are good at what they do - same as hair stylists, don't crack on yourself or it will end in disappointment.

Yup, looking for someone around my age (within +/- a few years, no vanity for me here) so 35 to 45 (ish) I suppose, but that is secondary to me not looking so old in the mirror.

My hair always looked untidy three days after leaving the barbers, so I don't think their skill level will help, hence why I keep it very short. Also sadly not a millionaire (yet).

I think any bright woman will guess that any bloke in his 40s with minimal grey will be dying his hair, just like I assumed every woman I have been with since my mid 20s dyed her hair (and 100% correct so far), I would question them.

Life did not give me the best hand in life, so I am fighting a losing battle here... I have to work with what I have.

[Mojooo]

Firstly, no matter how good you think the match is, it will be obvious to anyone who knows what to look for

With permanent dye the hair changes colour forever (until cut obviously) but the new roots will come out grey - so it is obvious even after a few days - particularly if there is a lot of grey or its at the temples.

With temp dye it fades away so you have to keep dying it.

It my also be hard to keep it a consistent colour

Secondly, as you know its messy and requires upkeep.

I'd suggest trying a temp dye if you want to try it out. No reason you cannot choose one of the many choices that women can use,

[PiesAreGreat]

BobsPigeon said:

Jesus, just go fking grey man. There's nothing more desperately sad than a middle aged man dying his hair...

In my opinion... No offence to anyone who does like... Obviously.

I agree with you, and I thought the same when I was in my 20s, it was even a running joke in our Uni house as one of the housemates Dad, had (obviously dyed) jet black hair in his 50s! However, now I am in the position of going grey (except no kids), I can understand why he did it... although jet black was a bit of an error...

[InitialDave]

My mate started going grey in his late 20s, late 30s now and a speckled mixture.

For my part, I kept the colour, but just started losing the hair itself at a similar age! So now properly receding/thin up top!

Just let it get on with it, and accept it, I don't see why it matters, and I'm afraid I regard men trying to hold on to their hair when it's clearly made its own decision already to be quite sad and desperate.

[J6542]

If you dye it, someone at work will notice and you will forever be the brunt of jokes. If any one mentions your new greys just laugh it off by blaming the stress off lock down and they won’t mention it again.
I used the excuse off lock down 1 to start shaving my receding hair. When someone at work asked I just said the barbers were shut and it’s all I could manage with clippers. No one has mentioned it since.

[OzzyR1]

PiesAreGreat said:

Yup, looking for someone around my age (within +/- a few years, no vanity for me here) so 35 to 45 (ish) I suppose, but that is secondary to me not looking so old in the mirror.

My hair always looked untidy three days after leaving the barbers, so I don't think their skill level will help, hence why I keep it very short. Also sadly not a millionaire (yet).

I think any bright woman will guess that any bloke in his 40s with minimal grey will be dying his hair, just like I assumed every woman I have been with since my mid 20s dyed her hair (and 100% correct so far), I would question them.

Life did not give me the best hand in life, so I am fighting a losing battle here... I have to work with what I have.

You pretty much said all I could in that last sentence mate - work with what you have.

You're looking for women in a similar age bracket to you. They won't give a monkey's about a bit of grey, adds character and substance if anything.

Trying to be as helpful as possible, but you need to stop focusing on what you think women see as attractive and play to the best of your abilities.

Easier said than done I know, but as bad as you think your chat-up lines are, they are not as bad as a bloke who has dyed his hair in his bathroom mirror, As I said above, I wouldn't recommend it, but if you go for a dye-job get it done by a professional hairdresser rather than doing it yourself in the bath.

Sounds like a few of your friends have got hitched and have families of their own. I know that can be hard & if you want to message me via PH, happy to exchange numbers and have a chat.

Take care.

[Mojooo]

Given that so many woman dye their hair is it really true to say the majority of woman dont care? they are obviously vain in themselves... Is this just men kidding themselves?

OP whilst doing some research i came across this 'Men Control GX' - I am actually tempted myself!

[Evoluzione]

PiesAreGreat said:

Every woman I have been with in the last 20 years dyed her hair as she was going grey and/or wanted to have fairer hair, why shouldn't us blokes?

You've got a lot to learn, starting with the differences between women and men.

[PiesAreGreat]

Road2Ruin said:

Just for men. It works. Start modest and see how you feel.

Thanks for the recommendation.
It is not that grey yet; I am being overly self-critical. The vast majority still is brown, but it is getting worse, especially over the last year, I suppose for almost the last 20 years I have been running around work, trying to solve every problem and doing long hours, lockdown and mostly WFH made me pause and notice.

I need to do something soon, one of the dye manufacturers showed images and they call it a "dusting of grey", it shows more when it gets longer. I also imagine, my brain instantly latches onto the grey when I see myself.

[SlimJim16v]

Having hair is more important than the colour.

[PiesAreGreat]

OzzyR1 said:

Sounds like a few of your friends have got hitched and have families of their own. I know that can be hard & if you want to message me via PH, happy to exchange numbers and have a chat.
Take care.

Yes, all friends (male and female) are married with kids, I did long hours for "quite a few" years which annoyed my girlfriends more than I realised.

Thanks for the offer, I will think about it .