Advice/Help! I am going Grey in lockdown... Need Hair dye?
Discussion
Given the proliferation of extremely dodgy haircuts that emerged on social media during lockdown, what you should have realised by now is that the only person who cares about your hair in real life is you. No one else gives a stuff.
Do whatever you need to do to give yourself some confidence, but be of no doubt that you'll be the only one who is concerned by what it looks like.
Do whatever you need to do to give yourself some confidence, but be of no doubt that you'll be the only one who is concerned by what it looks like.
HTP99 said:
A man dying his hair to hide the grey is the same as a man who has a comb over or attempts to style his hair to hide the receding or bald patch, literally everyone knows it and they all talk qbout it behind his back.
Or who pays stupid money to have it moved from his chin to his head. Wallopers.I'm 43, single, no kids and grey as f
k. I've not even washed my hair for 18 months and I'm still getting my jam roll on a semi regular basis, mostly from younger women. Sack the dye, up the Tinder game.
Nobody notices when you're grey, you're just another bloke.
However, if you dye it you will become the subject of ridicule and scorn.
I've been grey for years and I admit, about 30 years ago I did try dying it.
My receptionist's daughter, at the time a young teenager, walked in and said
'you've dyed your hair!'. Instantly.
After that no-one ever said 'you're grey'.
If you dye it you will look like a narcissistic pillock and it will become a huge amount of tiresome work to keep dyed.
What will you do if you go on holiday? Particularly a camping holiday? Take the dye with you so you arrive home with the hair that looks like boot polish that you went with?
No mate, no matter how bad you think it looks grey, it will look much worse dyed.
However, if you dye it you will become the subject of ridicule and scorn.
I've been grey for years and I admit, about 30 years ago I did try dying it.
My receptionist's daughter, at the time a young teenager, walked in and said
'you've dyed your hair!'. Instantly.
After that no-one ever said 'you're grey'.
If you dye it you will look like a narcissistic pillock and it will become a huge amount of tiresome work to keep dyed.
What will you do if you go on holiday? Particularly a camping holiday? Take the dye with you so you arrive home with the hair that looks like boot polish that you went with?
No mate, no matter how bad you think it looks grey, it will look much worse dyed.
If you feel that it's going to help your confidence (especially on the dating scene), then crack on.
As mentioned, 'Just For Men' is the most well known. I don't know how long it lasts for and how often you have to apply it - could be a ballache after a while.
(IME, women are concerned about themselves going grey, though in the last few years that silver hair look became very trendy. However, I've rarely heard them comment negatively about a bloke going grey and tbh, don't seem overwhelmingly positive about guys dyeing their hair).
A good hairstyle (with a good amount of hair!) is more important than colour imo.
What about other aspects of yourself that can help with confidence? Physique and fitness? Clothes? Fragrances etc?
As mentioned, 'Just For Men' is the most well known. I don't know how long it lasts for and how often you have to apply it - could be a ballache after a while.
(IME, women are concerned about themselves going grey, though in the last few years that silver hair look became very trendy. However, I've rarely heard them comment negatively about a bloke going grey and tbh, don't seem overwhelmingly positive about guys dyeing their hair).
A good hairstyle (with a good amount of hair!) is more important than colour imo.
What about other aspects of yourself that can help with confidence? Physique and fitness? Clothes? Fragrances etc?
Edited by g3org3y on Sunday 1st August 08:23
Yeah I used to get my hair dyed in my early forties, and it was a total ball ache.
I used to go to my local salon and have it done professionally and expensively every month. I had to go first thing in the morning hoping not to be noticed by anyone as I sat there in the chair.
One day I was having a day together with my young niece and nephew. I called in at the salon to book an appointment whilst with them both, my hairdresser said very quietly “ usual cut and colour?”
I never thought for one minute anyone else could hear? Me not factoring in kids?
A few weeks later, whilst sat round the dinner table, on Christmas Day FFS !! My darling niece outed me in front of the whole family!
It was excruciating. But it was a lesson well learned, it was a sign to get a grip of myself and adopt the ageing process.
I stopped having it dyed soon after. I also think that as you get older, you tend to age all over your face, and having unnatural hair (dyed on top) looks wrong and out of place and raises a red flag.
A good mate of mine has always had unnaturally jet black hair. We’ve been mates for years, about 5 years ago I asked him if he was dyeing it?
He’s never spoken to me since! Cut me off completely….
Odd!
I used to go to my local salon and have it done professionally and expensively every month. I had to go first thing in the morning hoping not to be noticed by anyone as I sat there in the chair.
One day I was having a day together with my young niece and nephew. I called in at the salon to book an appointment whilst with them both, my hairdresser said very quietly “ usual cut and colour?”
I never thought for one minute anyone else could hear? Me not factoring in kids?
A few weeks later, whilst sat round the dinner table, on Christmas Day FFS !! My darling niece outed me in front of the whole family!
It was excruciating. But it was a lesson well learned, it was a sign to get a grip of myself and adopt the ageing process.
I stopped having it dyed soon after. I also think that as you get older, you tend to age all over your face, and having unnatural hair (dyed on top) looks wrong and out of place and raises a red flag.
A good mate of mine has always had unnaturally jet black hair. We’ve been mates for years, about 5 years ago I asked him if he was dyeing it?
He’s never spoken to me since! Cut me off completely….
Odd!
Sorry, mate, you're totally over thinking this. Most women won't mind men whose hair is greying but they'll be totally turned off by someone putting dye on it. Women do it from teenager-on whether they're greying or not, to them it's just fashionable, like clothes.
If you want to work on anything try improving the personality, charisma etc (yes, difficult) - it will mean far more than hair colour.
If you want to work on anything try improving the personality, charisma etc (yes, difficult) - it will mean far more than hair colour.
OP you can’t tell me that you’ve not notice blokes with unnaturally coloured hair for their age! What do you think when you see them? I tend to think it’s a bit sad and it fools no one. You WILL look like a dick DO NOT DO IT - even the Just for Men stuff
Spend the money you’d waste on dyeing it and get to the hairdresser every 3/4 weeks instead. Keep your hair neat and fairly short. You have the advantage over most guys of your age who will either be already bald or are thinning. Lockdown is over get yourself on a dating site and find yourself someone nice. Good luck! Oh and change jobs or your attitude to work - Work to live not live to work.
Sermon over.
You could post up a selfie of your hair but not your face, I’ll bet now the comments you’ll get will be positive. Maybe that will improve your confidence.
Spend the money you’d waste on dyeing it and get to the hairdresser every 3/4 weeks instead. Keep your hair neat and fairly short. You have the advantage over most guys of your age who will either be already bald or are thinning. Lockdown is over get yourself on a dating site and find yourself someone nice. Good luck! Oh and change jobs or your attitude to work - Work to live not live to work.
Sermon over.
You could post up a selfie of your hair but not your face, I’ll bet now the comments you’ll get will be positive. Maybe that will improve your confidence.
PiesAreGreat said:
Honest question, how would I "own" going grey? that is like telling me to embrace arthritis... No, I will not fall without a fight!!
I don't think doing an overly stressful job for too many years is a badge of honour.
Yeah, I don't want to go grey! apparently, I look young for my age (although I think that has more to do with the fact I am relatively slim), so after spending most of my life looking old for my age, I don't want to look any older.
Every woman I have been with in the last 20 years dyed her hair as she was going grey and/or wanted to have fairer hair, why shouldn't us blokes?
I'm not going to get drawn into a battle of the sex here, but do you wear make up because they do? I don't think doing an overly stressful job for too many years is a badge of honour.
Yeah, I don't want to go grey! apparently, I look young for my age (although I think that has more to do with the fact I am relatively slim), so after spending most of my life looking old for my age, I don't want to look any older.
Every woman I have been with in the last 20 years dyed her hair as she was going grey and/or wanted to have fairer hair, why shouldn't us blokes?
Edited by PiesAreGreat on Saturday 31st July 23:14
OK, if you want to go silver, fair enough. Going grey in the animal kingdom generally shows maturity (think silverback gorilla), but even with humans - being a silver fox is no bad thing. George Clooney, Des Lynam and so on.
Arthritis is a medical condition, trust me, going grey is aesthetics and therefore ego. As someone who has male pattern baldness and is grey - apparently the most attractive thing to my wife is the confidence to carry it off. Hence me saying own it.
But it sounds like you want to dye it - fair play, start small as the others said and good luck!
I think the issue with dyeing it is the deception. If you want to dye it the last thing you want to do is be secretive about it.
Be confident and casually mention that you don't like the greys coming through and that you might try dyeing it. Anyone who is 40-ish will understand because they will have had the same dilemma at some point.
Be confident and casually mention that you don't like the greys coming through and that you might try dyeing it. Anyone who is 40-ish will understand because they will have had the same dilemma at some point.
There is something so desperate and embarrassing
about men try to stave off grey hair with all these lotions and potions. Despite all the cries of "but the dyes are so good now, no one will ever know!", everyone does know. If your colleagues, family and friends like you enough, they won't joke about it in your presence, but they will joke about it.
Better to live with greys, than dye without dignity.
about men try to stave off grey hair with all these lotions and potions. Despite all the cries of "but the dyes are so good now, no one will ever know!", everyone does know. If your colleagues, family and friends like you enough, they won't joke about it in your presence, but they will joke about it.
Better to live with greys, than dye without dignity.
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