Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Author
Discussion

Laurel Green

30,780 posts

233 months

Monday 14th February 2022
quotequote all
Pixelpeep 135 said:
my mate got blessed with a 10" penis.

The priest got 15 years.
hehe

McAndy

12,482 posts

178 months

Monday 14th February 2022
quotequote all
Laurel Green said:
Pixelpeep 135 said:
my mate got blessed with a 10" penis.

The priest got 15 years.
hehe
hehehehe

Earl of Hazzard

3,603 posts

159 months

Monday 14th February 2022
quotequote all

Pixelpeep 135

8,600 posts

143 months

Tuesday 15th February 2022
quotequote all
Just remember..

You matter.


Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared.

then, You energy.

slopes

38,830 posts

188 months

Tuesday 15th February 2022
quotequote all
McAndy said:
Laurel Green said:
Pixelpeep 135 said:
my mate got blessed with a 10" penis.

The priest got 15 years.
hehe
hehehehe
hehehehehehe

Trenchard

303 posts

29 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
Then Daddy bear asked, "Who's been sleeping in my porridge?"

Monkeylegend

26,428 posts

232 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
Trenchard said:
Then Daddy bear asked, "Who's been sleeping in my porridge?"
I bet the baby bears were quaking in their boots.

Skyedriver

17,886 posts

283 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
Trenchard said:
Then Daddy bear asked, "Who's been sleeping in my porridge?"
I bet the baby bears were quaking in their boots.
The only way to get his oats...

twing

5,019 posts

132 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
Old Man And The Beaver

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor
for his quarterly check up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

"So what do you think about that Doc ?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season." One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."

"As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge..
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said ,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

McAndy

12,482 posts

178 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
hehe Hadn't heard that one before.

V8mate

45,899 posts

190 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
twing said:
Old Man And The Beaver

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,...
The NHS appointment waiting times are bloody dreadful, aren't they?

twing

5,019 posts

132 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
V8mate said:
The NHS appointment waiting times are bloody dreadful, aren't they?
laugh arguably funnier than the joke laugh

anonymous-user

55 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
V8mate said:
twing said:
Old Man And The Beaver

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,...
The NHS appointment waiting times are bloody dreadful, aren't they?
rofl

rayny

1,183 posts

202 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
twing said:
V8mate said:
The NHS appointment waiting times are bloody dreadful, aren't they?
laugh arguably funnier than the joke laugh
No argument about it - It was funnier than the joke smile


808 Estate

2,124 posts

92 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all

V8mate

45,899 posts

190 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
Stallone: Hey guys, I'm making a film about the world's greatest composers. I'm playing Vivaldi!

Van Damme: That sounds great! I'll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: *takes deep breath*

kowalski655

14,654 posts

144 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
V8mate said:
Stallone: Hey guys, I'm making a film about the world's greatest composers. I'm playing Vivaldi!

Van Damme: That sounds great! I'll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: *takes deep breath*
"Moe who?"

Wrong film smile

Last Visit

2,814 posts

189 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
V8mate said:
Stallone: Hey guys, I'm making a film about the world's greatest composers. I'm playing Vivaldi!

Van Damme: That sounds great! I'll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: *takes deep breath*
Very good, proper laugh at that one biggrin

dieselgrunt

688 posts

165 months

Wednesday 16th February 2022
quotequote all
“Get to the Chopin”


Halmyre

11,210 posts

140 months

Thursday 17th February 2022
quotequote all
V8mate said:
Stallone: Hey guys, I'm making a film about the world's greatest composers. I'm playing Vivaldi!

Van Damme: That sounds great! I'll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: *takes deep breath*
Douglas Bader: Albinoni.