Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
k it, you only live once!”
Skyedriver said:
Master Of Puppets said:
Just saw quick trailer for a new film based on an inferno at a French car factory, not absolutely certain who's starring in it but I did spot
burnt Renaults.
Not sure if I laughed or groaned at that....burnt Renaults.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball...?
Utghghhhchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkkkhhhhh (choking noise..) - works better face to face
Wacky Racer said:
A man was walking down the street with one hand in his pocket and carrying the bible in his other.
A vicar was coming the other way and said "Ah I see you have the staff of life in your hand my son, what have you got in the other?"
"The bible vicar"
Bread! The staff of life is bread. For the joke to make any sense at all, the man would have had to have had a loaf of bread in his other hand, not the bible. A vicar was coming the other way and said "Ah I see you have the staff of life in your hand my son, what have you got in the other?"
"The bible vicar"
Ari said:
Wacky Racer said:
A man was walking down the street with one hand in his pocket and carrying the bible in his other.
A vicar was coming the other way and said "Ah I see you have the staff of life in your hand my son, what have you got in the other?"
"The bible vicar"
Bread! The staff of life is bread. For the joke to make any sense at all, the man would have had to have had a loaf of bread in his other hand, not the bible. A vicar was coming the other way and said "Ah I see you have the staff of life in your hand my son, what have you got in the other?"
"The bible vicar"
Ayahuasca said:
Ari said:
Wacky Racer said:
A man was walking down the street with one hand in his pocket and carrying the bible in his other.
A vicar was coming the other way and said "Ah I see you have the staff of life in your hand my son, what have you got in the other?"
"The bible vicar"
Bread! The staff of life is bread. For the joke to make any sense at all, the man would have had to have had a loaf of bread in his other hand, not the bible. A vicar was coming the other way and said "Ah I see you have the staff of life in your hand my son, what have you got in the other?"
"The bible vicar"
As usual - apologies if a re post. But given it's Vol11 new material is hard to come by.
A man falls off a ladder and on the way down lands on a fence suffering terrible injuries and critically tearing off his penis.
Later at the hospital the consultant says.
Luckily for you sir we have a new surgical procedure to rebuild your penis completely from very expensive lab grown cells & skin tissue.
For $1000 we will can rebuild a small but perfectly formed 2 incher
For $5,000 we can give you a standard 6
but for $10,000 you can get a plus size penis, at 9 inches and girth like a coke can.
The guy looks confused so the surgeon says, listen think it over and chat to your wife, you can tell me tomorrow.
Next day, the consultant looks in the room, the chap is there with his wife, he runs them through the options again and asks, have you had the chance to talk about which one you like ?
The guy says, well Doctor, my wife and I had a long discussion about it last night and again this morning, and we've decided we'd like a new kitchen.
A man falls off a ladder and on the way down lands on a fence suffering terrible injuries and critically tearing off his penis.
Later at the hospital the consultant says.
Luckily for you sir we have a new surgical procedure to rebuild your penis completely from very expensive lab grown cells & skin tissue.
For $1000 we will can rebuild a small but perfectly formed 2 incher
For $5,000 we can give you a standard 6
but for $10,000 you can get a plus size penis, at 9 inches and girth like a coke can.
The guy looks confused so the surgeon says, listen think it over and chat to your wife, you can tell me tomorrow.
Next day, the consultant looks in the room, the chap is there with his wife, he runs them through the options again and asks, have you had the chance to talk about which one you like ?
The guy says, well Doctor, my wife and I had a long discussion about it last night and again this morning, and we've decided we'd like a new kitchen.
Edited by Gargamel on Tuesday 7th March 13:10
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