Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
vaud said:
Here’s another lesson in good manners:
Throwing the bouquet behind you to see who’s next.
Really poor taste at funerals.
Along the same lines is the one about the young man who attended several family weddings, at each one his grandmother said 'Dont' worry, you will be next'.Throwing the bouquet behind you to see who’s next.
Really poor taste at funerals.
On attending a family funeral, he took great delight in saying the same thing to his grandmother.
Sex with the priest’s wife
Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to. Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.” The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says... “You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago”.
Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to. Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.” The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says... “You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago”.
ThunderSpook said:
Sex with the priest’s wife
Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to. Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.” The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says... “You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago”.
Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to. Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.” The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says... “You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago”.
havoc said:
ThunderSpook said:
Sex with the priest’s wife
Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to. Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.” The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says... “You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago”.
Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to. Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.” The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says... “You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago”.
A boy had his heart set on becoming an actor. He finally landed a part in his school play. He ran home after classes, very excited to tell his Dad the great news.
"That's fantastic" his father said upon hearing the news. "Who do you play ? "
His son answered, " I play a guy, who's been married for over twenty years like you Dad."
His father laughed and said, "Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."
"That's fantastic" his father said upon hearing the news. "Who do you play ? "
His son answered, " I play a guy, who's been married for over twenty years like you Dad."
His father laughed and said, "Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."
daveenty said:
Rayny said:
Along a similar date and time :
What do you call a man with a wooden head - Edward
What do you call a man with three wooden heads - Edward Woodward.
But what about a man with four wooden heads?What do you call a man with a wooden head - Edward
What do you call a man with three wooden heads - Edward Woodward.
I don't know either but Edward Woodward would.
If he didn’t he would be Ewar Woowar
And you just knew that was coming.
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