Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[anonymous-user]

Doofus said:

littleowl said:

I think he must be one of those poeple for who 'being miserable' is one of lifes pleasures.

Either that, or he still hasn't figured out how the scroll down button works....

Passive-aggressive isn't a good look on anyone.

As my Aunt used to say ‘go and boil yer ‘ed’

Mind you she was a FANY in the war.

[Alpacaman]

My wife took off her blouse and bra during an argument where I was winning.

It was a booby trap.

[rayny]

littleowl said:

Sad to hear about tennis player Boris Becker going to prison.

His services will no longer be available.

Some people would say that it was the wrong Boris

[john2443]

After being sentenced to two and a half years for tax fraud, Boris Becker asked: "I'm sorry, how many months is that?"

The Judge replied...


"30, love."

[General Price]

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

[Vipers]

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Ha! Took a second or two.

[GAjon]

Vipers said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Ha! Took a second or two.

Quite drei.

[anonymous-user]

GAjon said:

Vipers said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Ha! Took a second or two.

Quite drei.

I feared that reply

[anonymous-user]

GAjon said:

Vipers said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Ha! Took a second or two.

Quite drei.

I feared that reply

[havoc]

V6 Pushfit said:

GAjon said:

Vipers said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Ha! Took a second or two.

Quite drei.

I feared that reply

That'zwei you're no funf!

[QJumper]

havoc said:

V6 Pushfit said:

GAjon said:

Vipers said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Ha! Took a second or two.

Quite drei.

I feared that reply

That'zwei you're no funf!

No sechs for him then.

[blearyeyedboy]

QJumper said:

havoc said:

V6 Pushfit said:

GAjon said:

Vipers said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Ha! Took a second or two.

Quite drei.

I feared that reply

That'zwei you're no funf!

No sechs for him then.

These zehn-y puns are doing my head in.

[Stealthracer]

They're certainly not good for your elf.

[generationx]

You'll have elf and safety on to us

Edit: Dammit, true to his/her user name Stealth got there first

[blearyeyedboy]

I don't feel as bad about the puns now I've become Nummer to them.

[john2443]

Tory MP watching porn in Parliament just a bit confused by the term 'mass debate'.

[QJumper]

littleowl said:

Sad to hear about tennis player Boris Becker going to prison.

His services will no longer be available.

Anyone know how he handled the men's semis this morning?

[Monkeylegend]

QJumper said:

littleowl said:

Sad to hear about tennis player Boris Becker going to prison.

His services will no longer be available.

Anyone know how he handled the men's semis this morning?

He got knocked out by the third seed.

[twing]

Juice?

[john2443]

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

When I asked my dog what 231 minus 231 was he said nothing!