Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Author
Discussion

Pixelpeep 135

8,600 posts

143 months

Tuesday 10th May 2022
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I need to start buying my own herbs. I've been living on borrowed thyme.

MartG

20,691 posts

205 months

Tuesday 10th May 2022
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slopes

38,831 posts

188 months

Tuesday 10th May 2022
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MartG said:
laugh

Vipers

32,894 posts

229 months

Wednesday 11th May 2022
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Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (prounounced Peek-Ka-Boo), well, she moved on to become a nurse and is currently working at in intensive care unit of a large hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone any longer.

It caused so much confusion when she would pick up the phone and say “Picabo, I.C.U”

slopes

38,831 posts

188 months

Wednesday 11th May 2022
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Vipers said:
Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (prounounced Peek-Ka-Boo), well, she moved on to become a nurse and is currently working at in intensive care unit of a large hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone any longer.

It caused so much confusion when she would pick up the phone and say “Picabo, I.C.U”
hehe

Nova Gyna

1,134 posts

27 months

Wednesday 11th May 2022
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Just confessed to the missus that I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Beyoncé.

“Whatever floats your boat”. She said.

“No” I said, “that’s buoyancy”.

GloverMart

11,831 posts

216 months

Wednesday 11th May 2022
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rayny

1,184 posts

202 months

Wednesday 11th May 2022
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Vipers said:
Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (prounounced Peek-Ka-Boo), well, she moved on to become a nurse and is currently working at in intensive care unit of a large hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone any longer.

It caused so much confusion when she would pick up the phone and say “Picabo, I.C.U”
You've not been here for a while.
That's a new one to me - It was almost worth waiting for smile


Doofus

25,832 posts

174 months

Wednesday 11th May 2022
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rayny said:
Vipers said:
Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (prounounced Peek-Ka-Boo), well, she moved on to become a nurse and is currently working at in intensive care unit of a large hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone any longer.

It caused so much confusion when she would pick up the phone and say “Picabo, I.C.U”
You've not been here for a while.
That's a new one to me - It was almost worth waiting for smile
To me, it was a punchline searching, vainly, for a joke. frown

silverfoxcc

7,690 posts

146 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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For our recently arrived readers, here is a repost..

Speaking to a coach driver the other day who took a party of paranoid schizophrenics to a pantomime.

I asked him how it went?

He replied everything was fine until someone shouted out 'He's behind you'

Trenchard

303 posts

29 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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Nova Gyna said:
Just confessed to the missus that I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Beyoncé.

“Whatever floats your boat”. She said.

“No” I said, “that’s buoyancy”.
Ah but did you hear about Beyoncé being engaged and then calling off the wedding to Roy Castle's youngest son, Ben?
She didn't fancy the married name.

anonymous-user

55 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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GloverMart said:
Who would say 'bargain' to a widow at a funeral??

McAndy

12,485 posts

178 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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V6 Pushfit said:
Who would say 'bargain' to a widow at a funeral??
Nurse! Kittens! Stat! shout

anonymous-user

55 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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McAndy said:
V6 Pushfit said:
Who would say 'bargain' to a widow at a funeral??
Nurse! Kittens! Stat! shout
We’ll come on, wtf has a funeral to do with it apart from a lunatic mourner saying random words.

gmaz

4,414 posts

211 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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GloverMart said:
In the version I heard, the man says "plethora"

The wife says "Thank you, that means a lot"

Doofus

25,832 posts

174 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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gmaz said:
GloverMart said:
In the version I heard, the man says "plethora"

The wife says "Thank you, that means a lot"
Was the version you heard funny?

anonymous-user

55 months

Thursday 12th May 2022
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gmaz said:
In the version I heard, the man says "plethora"

The wife says "Thank you, that means a lot"
Was it at another fking funeral ?

V8mate

45,899 posts

190 months

Friday 13th May 2022
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V6 Pushfit said:
gmaz said:
In the version I heard, the man says "plethora"

The wife says "Thank you, that means a lot"
Was it at another fking funeral ?
A fking funeral? Niche.

kowalski655

14,656 posts

144 months

Friday 13th May 2022
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That's why they call the corpse a stiff

CourtAgain

3,766 posts

65 months

Friday 13th May 2022
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