Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[48k]

CopperBolt said:

She'd better start getting ready now.

[sospan]

Henrietta to collect the dust. She is a vacuum cleaner after all.

[kowalski655]

Gargamel said:

Vipers said:

Teachers asks her class “Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood’s girlfriend?”

Little Johnny says “Yes miss, it’s Trudy Glen”

“No Johnny, the answer was Maid Marion”

“But miss, what about the song, Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen!”

I love that joke, even though it’s really old, and probably was first cracked after the terrible Errol Flynn movie.
…

But that theme tune was from "The adventures of Robin Hood" with Richard Greene, decades later

[Gargamel]

kowalski655 said:

But that theme tune was from "The adventures of Robin Hood" with Richard Greene, decades later

Top Nerding !

[RyanOPlasty]

Wacky Racer said:

What's green, 12foot long, has six legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A snooker table

I'm sure that when I heard that about 50 years ago it also had 22 balls.

[MartG]

[V8mate]

I just asked my wife if I'm the only one she's ever been with.

She replied 'yes'. Apparently all the others were nines and tens.

[MartG]

What's the difference between an efficient vacuum cleaner and a horny Swiss admiral ?

One sucks and never fails...

[GloverMart]

Be careful if you’re thinking of getting a rescue cat.

My nan had one. She slipped and fell yesterday and the cat literally sat there and did f*ck all.

[slopes]

sospan said:

Henrietta to collect the dust. She is a vacuum cleaner after all.

[languagetimothy]

48k said:

CopperBolt said:

She'd better start getting ready now.

Maybe to run an Iron over that flag,

[Vipers]

My son asked, "Dad, when was the first time you fell in love?"

I said, "I was 20, I walked into a bar and spotted the most gorgeous blonde I'd ever seen, Cupid fired his arrow the second I saw her"

He asked, "So what happened?"

I said, "Nothing, unfortunately the arrow missed her and hit your mother........................"

[Earl of Hazzard]

[Mallard126]

Very good, I'm pinching that one!

[Skyedriver]

Earl of Hazzard said:

Piggott

But yes quite a good one.

[Milkyway]

Skyedriver said:

Earl of Hazzard said:

Piggott

But yes quite a good one.

Derby?

[Milkyway]

Apologies in advance... reminds me of this oldie.

[GloverMart]

My girlfriend thinks I'm a right nosey bd.

I wish she'd tell it to my face instead of writing it in her diary...

[Blatter]

GloverMart said:

My girlfriend thinks I'm a right nosey bd.

I wish she'd tell it to my face instead of writing it in her diary...

[MartG]