Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
AmgMercedes said:
Doofus said:
People always told me that masturbation isn't productive, but I've been doing it twice a day for four years now and I've got nearly a dustbin full in the wardrobe.
As Peter Kay says. You only get a bucket and a half 
t house jokes, one scrawled on the wall about a two feet from the floor -w
king stunts your growth.Vipers said:
AmgMercedes said:
Doofus said:
People always told me that masturbation isn't productive, but I've been doing it twice a day for four years now and I've got nearly a dustbin full in the wardrobe.
As Peter Kay says. You only get a bucket and a half t house jokes, one scrawled on the wall about a two feet from the floor -w
king stunts your growth.
An old retired sailor puts on his uniform and heads for the docks once more for old times sake, picks up a hooker, and heads off to a local hotel.
Going at it as well as he can for an old guy and needing some reassurane, he asks "How am I doing?".
"Well old sailor. your doing about three knots"
He asks "Three knots?, what does that mean?"
She says "Your knot hard, your knot in, and your knot getting your money back"
Going at it as well as he can for an old guy and needing some reassurane, he asks "How am I doing?".
"Well old sailor. your doing about three knots"
He asks "Three knots?, what does that mean?"
She says "Your knot hard, your knot in, and your knot getting your money back"
Vipers said:
An old retired sailor puts on his uniform and heads for the docks once more for old times sake, picks up a hooker, and heads off to a local hotel.
Going at it as well as he can for an old guy and needing some reassurane, he asks "How am I doing?".
"Well old sailor. your doing about three knots"
He asks "Three knots?, what does that mean?"
She says "Your knot hard, your knot in, and your knot getting your money back"
Going at it as well as he can for an old guy and needing some reassurane, he asks "How am I doing?".
"Well old sailor. your doing about three knots"
He asks "Three knots?, what does that mean?"
She says "Your knot hard, your knot in, and your knot getting your money back"
This sailor was related to Viewers one. Arriving at port, he was desperate for a bit of nooks but had lost all his cash in a card game. Despite all this he gets suited and booted and wanders into town. One of the local asked him is he was looking for something, to which he replied, ' certainly, but I am completely skint'
It must have been a slow night as she took pity on him and suggested that he pay 'in kind' but there was to be no passion on her part.
This he agreed to a offered his new shoes,she took a look and agreed, but reiterated No passion she would just lie there
As he was jogging along he noticed that she had put both legs around him and her arms were around his neck. Wow, he thought haven't lost my touch and mentioned that he must be turning her on for her to forget no passion promise
She replied the no passion remains
'Well what about you legs and arms around me then?
She answered 'oh that, i was just trying the boots on to see if they fitted ok'
It must have been a slow night as she took pity on him and suggested that he pay 'in kind' but there was to be no passion on her part.
This he agreed to a offered his new shoes,she took a look and agreed, but reiterated No passion she would just lie there
As he was jogging along he noticed that she had put both legs around him and her arms were around his neck. Wow, he thought haven't lost my touch and mentioned that he must be turning her on for her to forget no passion promise
She replied the no passion remains
'Well what about you legs and arms around me then?
She answered 'oh that, i was just trying the boots on to see if they fitted ok'
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