Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[GloverMart]

I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself!

No 'fence...

Nun taken....

[Skyedriver]

Pixelpeep Electric said:

blindfold fairgrounds - i can't see the attraction.

Passed by that last time, deserves a

[Monkeylegend]

ChemicalChaos said:

Monkeylegend said:

The only thing better than daffodils on your piano is tulips on your organ.

Haven't seen that in a long while.

[anonymous-user]

Monkeylegend said:

ChemicalChaos said:

Monkeylegend said:

The only thing better than daffodils on your piano is tulips on your organ.

Haven't seen that in a long while.

One of my late father's favourites, he played the organ regularly, at both church and his Masonic lodge....at lodge he accepted his supper in leu of his fee!

So he played for his supper......

[Pixelpeep Electric]

If I got 50p for every time I failed a maths exam, I’d have £6.30 by now.

[speedking31]

A couple falling on hard times and short of cash, so the wife agrees to go on the game.
Off she goes down to the Docks.
Early hours of the morning she returns home.
"How much did you make", asks the husband.
"£20.50"
"Bloody hell, which bd gave you 50p?"
"They all did."

[Vipers]

[Skyedriver]

So true, so sad

[peter tdci]

[Blib]

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore, looking like an idiot.

[808 Estate]

[LordGrover]

Blib said:

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore, looking like an idiot.

[havoc]

LordGrover said:

Blib said:

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore, looking like an idiot.

[Pixelpeep Electric]

went to a very expensive cannibal restaurant last night - it was £50 a head!

[Pixelpeep Electric]

1st woman: Stop it, you know i'm straight.
2nd woman: Yes, but so is spaghetti until it gets wet.

[808 Estate]

[leigh1050]

808 Estate said:

That isn't a joke! It's true!

[Master Of Puppets]

Pulled a cracking bird the other night and when we got back to her place she revealed she was a virgin and wanted her first time to be magical, so I shagged her and then disappeared.

[Wacky Racer]

Master Of Puppets said:

Pulled a cracking bird the other night and when we got back to her place she revealed she was a virgin and wanted her first time to be magical, so I shagged her and then disappeared.

[andym1603]

808 Estate said:

Looks like an advert for the Met.