Yeah, that didn't work - your great ideas that weren't
Discussion
Rugby in the `70`s - wrapped my head in tape just like Mervyn Davies.
Somehow when I removed it all the adhesive stayed stuck to my hair & forehead.
First job interview on the following day - managed to get into the Chem lab early & a litre of diethyl ether later it was all off, but I was rather deranged.
I managed to come back to life for the interview & actually got the job!
Somehow when I removed it all the adhesive stayed stuck to my hair & forehead.
First job interview on the following day - managed to get into the Chem lab early & a litre of diethyl ether later it was all off, but I was rather deranged.
I managed to come back to life for the interview & actually got the job!
Castrol for a knave said:
When I was a kid, growing up in the northern post apocalyptic wasteland of Bradford, I used to play in an old mill next to the house.
Parts of the mill were still in use, and there was often much treasure to be had rooting through the skips. I decided one skip would be best if I set it alight. I promptly did so and as the burning match caught, an almighty whoosh of flame fired out from a metal can of adhesive. This then spat hot adhesive in my direction, a large lump of which came to rest, right in the centre of my head, just above my hairline.
I managed to put the fire out, but by now I had a burned, bald patch about the size of a beer mat.
Since this was the very early 80's and we all had long hair, I formulated a plan. I got home and evaded my formidable grandmother, despite smelling like the Hindenburg and cut a fistful of collar length hair from the back of my head.
I then took some Superglue, and glued it on the bald patch. No flies on me!
Except...
I glued it the wrong way, so the newly adhered hair ran across the grain, so to to speak.
It remained this way for at least 3 days until it either flaked of or I pulled it off, which made school interesting - most of which was spent stood in the middle of hall, for being a retard or some other trumped up charge.
I laughed at this far more than I should have done.Parts of the mill were still in use, and there was often much treasure to be had rooting through the skips. I decided one skip would be best if I set it alight. I promptly did so and as the burning match caught, an almighty whoosh of flame fired out from a metal can of adhesive. This then spat hot adhesive in my direction, a large lump of which came to rest, right in the centre of my head, just above my hairline.
I managed to put the fire out, but by now I had a burned, bald patch about the size of a beer mat.
Since this was the very early 80's and we all had long hair, I formulated a plan. I got home and evaded my formidable grandmother, despite smelling like the Hindenburg and cut a fistful of collar length hair from the back of my head.
I then took some Superglue, and glued it on the bald patch. No flies on me!
Except...
I glued it the wrong way, so the newly adhered hair ran across the grain, so to to speak.
It remained this way for at least 3 days until it either flaked of or I pulled it off, which made school interesting - most of which was spent stood in the middle of hall, for being a retard or some other trumped up charge.
Castrol for a knave said:
When I was a kid, growing up in the northern post apocalyptic wasteland of Bradford, I used to play in an old mill next to the house.
Parts of the mill were still in use, and there was often much treasure to be had rooting through the skips. I decided one skip would be best if I set it alight. I promptly did so and as the burning match caught, an almighty whoosh of flame fired out from a metal can of adhesive. This then spat hot adhesive in my direction, a large lump of which came to rest, right in the centre of my head, just above my hairline.
I managed to put the fire out, but by now I had a burned, bald patch about the size of a beer mat.
Since this was the very early 80's and we all had long hair, I formulated a plan. I got home and evaded my formidable grandmother, despite smelling like the Hindenburg and cut a fistful of collar length hair from the back of my head.
I then took some Superglue, and glued it on the bald patch. No flies on me!
Except...
I glued it the wrong way, so the newly adhered hair ran across the grain, so to to speak.
It remained this way for at least 3 days until it either flaked of or I pulled it off, which made school interesting - most of which was spent stood in the middle of hall, for being a retard or some other trumped up charge.
Hilarious story and well told. Parts of the mill were still in use, and there was often much treasure to be had rooting through the skips. I decided one skip would be best if I set it alight. I promptly did so and as the burning match caught, an almighty whoosh of flame fired out from a metal can of adhesive. This then spat hot adhesive in my direction, a large lump of which came to rest, right in the centre of my head, just above my hairline.
I managed to put the fire out, but by now I had a burned, bald patch about the size of a beer mat.
Since this was the very early 80's and we all had long hair, I formulated a plan. I got home and evaded my formidable grandmother, despite smelling like the Hindenburg and cut a fistful of collar length hair from the back of my head.
I then took some Superglue, and glued it on the bald patch. No flies on me!
Except...
I glued it the wrong way, so the newly adhered hair ran across the grain, so to to speak.
It remained this way for at least 3 days until it either flaked of or I pulled it off, which made school interesting - most of which was spent stood in the middle of hall, for being a retard or some other trumped up charge.
Reminds me of something stupid I did, although not on the same scale. I parked my car, got out and attempted, immediately, to light a cigarette. Unfortunately a combination of wind and feeble lighter rendered that impossible as the lighter kept refusing to ignite. I decided to open the car door, duck my head in, light up and carry on with the day. Doing that proved rather too effective: the lighter, in the still air of the car, gave forth a mighty flame at the exact moment my windblown hair flopped forward onto it. I recall recoiling from the vehicle with various bits of my fringe on fire, looking for all the world like a human birthday cake. The cigarette was thrown aside and handfuls of hair grabbed and squeezed, which was enough to smother the flames.
Fortunately I had a pair of scissors and a mirror with me, so was able to chop off the burnt bits of hair and have a little tidy up at the side of the road. I then lit another cigarette without incident and carried on with the day. The car smelt appalling for a day or so.
StevieBee said:
I used to Marshal the Startline for Rallycross at Brands Hatch in the 80s and 90s.
As a result of this, two races had to be re-run and the final was run in near darkness with the late, great Arthur Debenham (commentating) having to rely on turbo flare to identify the following cars.
Wow that's a flashback name! As a result of this, two races had to be re-run and the final was run in near darkness with the late, great Arthur Debenham (commentating) having to rely on turbo flare to identify the following cars.
I used to help the Clerk of the Course at Croft during the same era of Rallycross. Worst thing I did was move the gridsheets around when drivers were trying to read them through the window we displayed them on.
The Dictator said:
Castrol for a knave said:
When I was a kid, growing up in the northern post apocalyptic wasteland of Bradford, I used to play in an old mill next to the house.
Parts of the mill were still in use, and there was often much treasure to be had rooting through the skips. I decided one skip would be best if I set it alight. I promptly did so and as the burning match caught, an almighty whoosh of flame fired out from a metal can of adhesive. This then spat hot adhesive in my direction, a large lump of which came to rest, right in the centre of my head, just above my hairline.
I managed to put the fire out, but by now I had a burned, bald patch about the size of a beer mat.
Since this was the very early 80's and we all had long hair, I formulated a plan. I got home and evaded my formidable grandmother, despite smelling like the Hindenburg and cut a fistful of collar length hair from the back of my head.
I then took some Superglue, and glued it on the bald patch. No flies on me!
Except...
I glued it the wrong way, so the newly adhered hair ran across the grain, so to to speak.
It remained this way for at least 3 days until it either flaked of or I pulled it off, which made school interesting - most of which was spent stood in the middle of hall, for being a retard or some other trumped up charge.
I laughed at this far more than I should have done.Parts of the mill were still in use, and there was often much treasure to be had rooting through the skips. I decided one skip would be best if I set it alight. I promptly did so and as the burning match caught, an almighty whoosh of flame fired out from a metal can of adhesive. This then spat hot adhesive in my direction, a large lump of which came to rest, right in the centre of my head, just above my hairline.
I managed to put the fire out, but by now I had a burned, bald patch about the size of a beer mat.
Since this was the very early 80's and we all had long hair, I formulated a plan. I got home and evaded my formidable grandmother, despite smelling like the Hindenburg and cut a fistful of collar length hair from the back of my head.
I then took some Superglue, and glued it on the bald patch. No flies on me!
Except...
I glued it the wrong way, so the newly adhered hair ran across the grain, so to to speak.
It remained this way for at least 3 days until it either flaked of or I pulled it off, which made school interesting - most of which was spent stood in the middle of hall, for being a retard or some other trumped up charge.
lrdisco said:
Working on small construction sites the toilet facilities vary from very bad to non existent.
On one site there was no toilet paper so I used Wonder Wipes to clean up.
Now Wonder Wipes do what they say on the tin. They will even remove silicone and oils. They had no problem cleaning up my rear.
The downside was they are not kind to tender areas. I was Very very sore around the old rusty sheriff’s star for quite a while afterwards.
You’re not the only one to have fallen foul of wonder wipes!On one site there was no toilet paper so I used Wonder Wipes to clean up.
Now Wonder Wipes do what they say on the tin. They will even remove silicone and oils. They had no problem cleaning up my rear.
The downside was they are not kind to tender areas. I was Very very sore around the old rusty sheriff’s star for quite a while afterwards.
Back when I first started work as an apprentice kitchen fitter, I was frequently tasked with cleaning up. One time I didn’t pull the wipe out far enough leading them to fall into the cylinder, and in my infinite wisdom thought the best course of action would be to poke my finger into the tub through the toothed hole and pull it back out.
This did not end well, and whilst my finger was sore at the time from the teeth beijg lodged into my finger, as you can imagine the reputational damage on site was far worse !!
Super Sonic said:
Turtle Shed said:
Back in the 1970s I received a pocket calculator for Christmas. I decided that the supplied 'plug' was far bigger than necessary.
That ended well.
What happened?That ended well.
To be honest I can't remember exactly why I did this, might have been a size thing, more likely the curiosity of a 10 year old kid.
Many, many years ago, my dad decided to lay a patio. He and mum had agreed random shape crazy paving. To save money he bought slabs of random thickness. The suppliers must have glad to see the back of them. What a palaver trying to get the tops level. This done, he decided to save time with the pointing and chose a very thin pouring epoxy. Yeah, that didn't work. It went everywhere. To say my mum wasn't pleased is a bit of an understatement.
Many years ago was trying to improve my Frog eye Sprite. The domed bonnet badge is painted from the inside ala intaglio. The paint was all coming away. I decided to remove the paint and re do by hand. So I carefully tipped some thinners into the badge to quickly remove the old paint. Wthin 5 minutes I was left with a small blob off distorted plastic.
1) 1980. Battleship game / Airfix. For some reason decided to try and paint the two red and blue battleships game parts in UK and Nazi ship colours using the paints from my Airfix plane collection. Looked crap. Decided to use paint remover to take the paint back off. Melted the plastic as well, very quickly. Left with two blobs of read and blue plastic melted into my bedroom visco-cotton carpet. Moved the bed to help hide it. Was of course found out. #amatuer mxingchemicalisabadidea
2) A bit later in the 1980s a group of us from school had discovered when the new bypass cutting was built it had breached an old minor adit for a coal mine. So we made that our den, 50 yards deep into the Derbyshire coal seam. All went well until one day late summer, it was getting a bit colder in there and someone had the idea to line the floor with the dry grass from the cutting embankment. Which was OK, until some fat lardy bottomed bloke knocked off a candle in the entrance tunnel. Which meant those of us deep in the hill were now being slowly chocked by smoke. Fortunately we all got out, but the fire spread to the embankment of the dual carriageway as well shutting the road on a Bank Holiday. #howtimehas flown..........this image, where the truck is is just by where the entrance to the adit was. There were no trees there at all in the early 1980s...... https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gosforth_L........the Firefighters were interested in why a group of smokey smelling lads were hanging around on the footbridge ......
3) "Sheffield mild-gun". On the back of the Sheffield Supergun Scandal we tried (15 at the time) using recycled material to develop our own "gun". We had a fire pit we dug into the ground on a friends property, just next to the Midland Main line. Said fire pit was used to generate heat and cast iron pipes used for barrels of the gun. We experimented with various projectiles (full containers petrol - just a messy fire, half empty gas canisters - blew the cast iron apart, until we found that Lynx deodorant tubes, dropped in a cast iron pipe into a charcol firepit after between 60 - 120s would be ejected more rapidly than a Brown Otter from ones Chocolate Starfish after a night on the egg phaals in Rusholme. Remember on line 2 I mentioned about the MML railway. We we'd managed to clear the embankment several times to the fields of the sewage works the other side the railway....but could we clear a train?????????? We got the fire hot, worked out our detonation time, reckoned that you could just about hear the Southbound 125 HST exit Bradway Tunnel a mile and a half before and that should be the time to drop the package into the device and see what happened. Yep we broadsided the Sheffield - London Kings Cross Master Cutler with a can of Lynx Africa. So we did invent a cheap field deployable weapon but it turns out an HST that has been hit on the driving cab with an exploding deodorant can is able to a) hit the brakes at 90 mph and stop within a mile b) call BTP about the group of lads in a field with a fire c) was worth looking at laughing at and oh s
t here are the fire brigade guys from when we set fire to the bypass and the police as well......Bugger. Got a caution (spent three decades ago now) for that.
Anyway, fire and explosives and mixing chemicals, 30 years as a Chemical Engineer in the professional world beckoned, so it was all just "work experience".
2) A bit later in the 1980s a group of us from school had discovered when the new bypass cutting was built it had breached an old minor adit for a coal mine. So we made that our den, 50 yards deep into the Derbyshire coal seam. All went well until one day late summer, it was getting a bit colder in there and someone had the idea to line the floor with the dry grass from the cutting embankment. Which was OK, until some fat lardy bottomed bloke knocked off a candle in the entrance tunnel. Which meant those of us deep in the hill were now being slowly chocked by smoke. Fortunately we all got out, but the fire spread to the embankment of the dual carriageway as well shutting the road on a Bank Holiday. #howtimehas flown..........this image, where the truck is is just by where the entrance to the adit was. There were no trees there at all in the early 1980s...... https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gosforth_L........the Firefighters were interested in why a group of smokey smelling lads were hanging around on the footbridge ......
3) "Sheffield mild-gun". On the back of the Sheffield Supergun Scandal we tried (15 at the time) using recycled material to develop our own "gun". We had a fire pit we dug into the ground on a friends property, just next to the Midland Main line. Said fire pit was used to generate heat and cast iron pipes used for barrels of the gun. We experimented with various projectiles (full containers petrol - just a messy fire, half empty gas canisters - blew the cast iron apart, until we found that Lynx deodorant tubes, dropped in a cast iron pipe into a charcol firepit after between 60 - 120s would be ejected more rapidly than a Brown Otter from ones Chocolate Starfish after a night on the egg phaals in Rusholme. Remember on line 2 I mentioned about the MML railway. We we'd managed to clear the embankment several times to the fields of the sewage works the other side the railway....but could we clear a train?????????? We got the fire hot, worked out our detonation time, reckoned that you could just about hear the Southbound 125 HST exit Bradway Tunnel a mile and a half before and that should be the time to drop the package into the device and see what happened. Yep we broadsided the Sheffield - London Kings Cross Master Cutler with a can of Lynx Africa. So we did invent a cheap field deployable weapon but it turns out an HST that has been hit on the driving cab with an exploding deodorant can is able to a) hit the brakes at 90 mph and stop within a mile b) call BTP about the group of lads in a field with a fire c) was worth looking at laughing at and oh s
t here are the fire brigade guys from when we set fire to the bypass and the police as well......Bugger. Got a caution (spent three decades ago now) for that.Anyway, fire and explosives and mixing chemicals, 30 years as a Chemical Engineer in the professional world beckoned, so it was all just "work experience".
When I was a very young kid, my brother, six years older than me, got some binoculars for his birthday. I thought it would be a great idea to pretend to be a pirate and bury them in a field at the back of my parents house. My parents thought my brother had lost them and spent ages trying to find them until I told them the truth. My dad hit the roof! How i'm still alive now I'll never know. 
Many years ago a friend of mine had a a BB gun. It was plastic but looked like a shotgun, made a bit of a racket (for a BB gun) but even if you fired it at your feet point-blank, wouldn't be more than annoying / marginally painful.
His parents' garden wasn't too big so we had the great idea of going to the local park and setting up old deodorant cans to shoot at. Being teenagers, we got through a LOT of deodorant.
We saw nothing wrong with this until a number of policepeople quite rudely invaded the middle of the field we'd set up shop in. They'd been told that there were kids shooting a shotgun in a public park.
The police were pretty laid back, they even took a shot or two themselves once they realised that this plastic shotgun could barely knock a can off a bench, but told us we had a choice. Either we went back home in handcuffs, or they seized the BB gun and let us walk home.
Even though teenagers can be bolshy we realised that being taken home in a police car with silver jewellery was not going to endear us to our parents, so we opted to surrender the BB gun.
My friend and I, over 25 years later, still discuss this from time to time. I don't think we'd have had anywhere near as much leniency as we did back then.
Said friend and I have had a few fun "great" moments over the years, particularly as teenagers. To keep on the deodorant theme, we noticed that it was flammable, so we coated a tennis ball in deodorant, lit it on fire, and played "hot potato". Basically, threw the ball to each other and you couldn't hold it for more than a second because it was on fire. This worked well for about 15 minutes until my friend fumbled the ball and threw it to his side. It landed in his neighbour's hedge, in the middle of a summer drought, and the hedge promptly ignited. We managed to put it out but it was a little obvious what had happened.
His parents' garden wasn't too big so we had the great idea of going to the local park and setting up old deodorant cans to shoot at. Being teenagers, we got through a LOT of deodorant.
We saw nothing wrong with this until a number of policepeople quite rudely invaded the middle of the field we'd set up shop in. They'd been told that there were kids shooting a shotgun in a public park.
The police were pretty laid back, they even took a shot or two themselves once they realised that this plastic shotgun could barely knock a can off a bench, but told us we had a choice. Either we went back home in handcuffs, or they seized the BB gun and let us walk home.
Even though teenagers can be bolshy we realised that being taken home in a police car with silver jewellery was not going to endear us to our parents, so we opted to surrender the BB gun.
My friend and I, over 25 years later, still discuss this from time to time. I don't think we'd have had anywhere near as much leniency as we did back then.
Said friend and I have had a few fun "great" moments over the years, particularly as teenagers. To keep on the deodorant theme, we noticed that it was flammable, so we coated a tennis ball in deodorant, lit it on fire, and played "hot potato". Basically, threw the ball to each other and you couldn't hold it for more than a second because it was on fire. This worked well for about 15 minutes until my friend fumbled the ball and threw it to his side. It landed in his neighbour's hedge, in the middle of a summer drought, and the hedge promptly ignited. We managed to put it out but it was a little obvious what had happened.
Part of what I do involves fire extinguishers, trained and qualified so well aware of the risks and dangers
Another part involves cable installations
Had a lamp post where the bottom of the post was full of cheap, so had the bright idea of blowing it out.
God only knows what I was thinking when I cut the horn off a co2 assembly leaving just a short spigot , then gaffer taped a length of flexible plastic conduit to the spigot.
Put the flexible conduit down the lamp post through the service plate held it in place and squeezed the handles
A minor explosion of co2 decompressing in a small space, followed by the now brittle because of the low temperatures the co2 generated flexible conduit shattering in my face,
Lost my hearing for an hour or so, and a glorious frost burn on the web of my hand between thumb and finger
My colleague a few feet away just looked at me and raised an eyebrow
Recently read about the poor soul who.lost his life at an extinguisher recycling centre.
Don't piss about with these things.
Another part involves cable installations
Had a lamp post where the bottom of the post was full of cheap, so had the bright idea of blowing it out.
God only knows what I was thinking when I cut the horn off a co2 assembly leaving just a short spigot , then gaffer taped a length of flexible plastic conduit to the spigot.
Put the flexible conduit down the lamp post through the service plate held it in place and squeezed the handles
A minor explosion of co2 decompressing in a small space, followed by the now brittle because of the low temperatures the co2 generated flexible conduit shattering in my face,
Lost my hearing for an hour or so, and a glorious frost burn on the web of my hand between thumb and finger
My colleague a few feet away just looked at me and raised an eyebrow
Recently read about the poor soul who.lost his life at an extinguisher recycling centre.
Don't piss about with these things.
Spare tyre said:
Quhet said:
When I was little I had the brilliant idea if making myself hover by standing in a bucket and picking it up. Didn't work, was disappointed.
We were off roading on Salisbury plain and came across a family in a pickup who’d got stuck, the wife was stood in the bed of the truck, pushing the cab with all her mightReally wish I’d captured that
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