Tell us something really trivial about your life Volume 40

[Bobberoo]

Jordie Barretts sock said:

Managed to rip the front bumper off my Auris this morning. Reversed onto the grass to turn around and caught the bottom of the bumper on the concrete lip. Looked like it had had a stroke, palsy all on the driver's side.

Anyway, five minutes swearing, and two minutes of lift and push in the right places and it's all back together like nothing had happened. Of course I was covered in mud...

Ah that's a bugger old chap!!!

[pequod]

Ahem, artnoon all!

I have a confession to make yet, perusing the PH workshop, I fear nothing in the tool chest is suitable. I may leave it to them there Amazonians to provide a ready made one, in readiness for Xmas.

IOTN: The ante meridiem patrol was completed in reverse order. This is occasionally important as those who would invade the Manor are tricky dickies, and no mistake. I can report no incident was encountered, this time...

IOOTN: The Norwegians have again supplied a Christmas tree for the local community to enjoy and the team of volunteers are alerted to erect said pine on Sunday hence. We'll see how it goes...

Aye.

PQ

[witteringon]

Bomma R1 said:

She's on the mend now old boy, thanks.

The team who are looking after her are pleased with the progress so far, apparently they need to keep her on the drip for a little bit longer and if all's well she can return home.

Thank The Lord There's so much washing up in the sink, there's barely enough room to have a piss in it

[pequod]

Bomma R1 said:

pequod said:

Bomma R1 said:

That's enough boat buggering for one day, I'm off to the horse spittle to see how Futtette's fairing.

Pumping her full of antibiotics on a drip thing, they are. Gawd knows where it all goes, if I was in charge of doing it I'd be worried that she'd burst.

Never mind, I'm sure they know what they're doing.

I trust Futtette is feeling better Bom, you didn't say?

She's on the mend now old boy, thanks.

The team who are looking after her are pleased with the progress so far, apparently they need to keep her on the drip for a little bit longer and if all's well she can return home.

Thank The Lord There's so much washing up in the sink, there's barely enough room to have a piss in it

Marvellous, smoke a kipper for her return, and then, once consumed, she can attend to the washin' up. You are a lucky boy, aren't you?

[Bomma R1]

pequod said:

Bomma R1 said:

pequod said:

Bomma R1 said:

That's enough boat buggering for one day, I'm off to the horse spittle to see how Futtette's fairing.

Pumping her full of antibiotics on a drip thing, they are. Gawd knows where it all goes, if I was in charge of doing it I'd be worried that she'd burst.

Never mind, I'm sure they know what they're doing.

I trust Futtette is feeling better Bom, you didn't say?

She's on the mend now old boy, thanks.

The team who are looking after her are pleased with the progress so far, apparently they need to keep her on the drip for a little bit longer and if all's well she can return home.

Thank The Lord There's so much washing up in the sink, there's barely enough room to have a piss in it

Marvellous, smoke a kipper for her return, and then, once consumed, she can attend to the washin' up. You are a lucky boy, aren't you?

I am indeed, old boy.

I'll attend to the kipper business with all speed.

[Byker28i]

pequod said:

fatboy18 said:

Cheese Breath, Ive just eaten a tub of Christmas mini Cheddars! Now to hide tub from mrs fatboy!

I noticed the Christmas adverts have started, unusually M&S haven't promoted their 'Nigella's Special Selection' of snacks yet. This could be a major error, if consumption has already begun of Mini Cheddars, and no mistake! Early bird, and all that...

We've stockpiled those little cheese biscuits from B&M. Trouble is I like nibbling them with a glass of red....

[Byker28i]

Bobberoo said:

fatboy18 said:

Cheese Breath, Ive just eaten a tub of Christmas mini Cheddars! Now to hide tub from mrs fatboy!

Rinse your mouth out with bourbon?
Gnaw on a garlic bulb?
Gargle with brandy?

Twiglets is the obvious answer. Those little fun packs, so she thinks you've just had a tiny snack

[Byker28i]

Bobberoo said:

Jordie Barretts sock said:

Managed to rip the front bumper off my Auris this morning. Reversed onto the grass to turn around and caught the bottom of the bumper on the concrete lip. Looked like it had had a stroke, palsy all on the driver's side.

Anyway, five minutes swearing, and two minutes of lift and push in the right places and it's all back together like nothing had happened. Of course I was covered in mud...

Ah that's a bugger old chap!!!

I think that's a bonus, you managed to get it back.on.

[Byker28i]

Today I was told that many people spell school incorrectly.

Apparently people are putting the second o before the first one... :eek

[Jordie Barretts sock]

Bobberoo said:

Jordie Barretts sock said:

Managed to rip the front bumper off my Auris this morning. Reversed onto the grass to turn around and caught the bottom of the bumper on the concrete lip. Looked like it had had a stroke, palsy all on the driver's side.

Anyway, five minutes swearing, and two minutes of lift and push in the right places and it's all back together like nothing had happened. Of course I was covered in mud...

Ah that's a bugger old chap!!!

T'was. Luckily (and unusually for me) it all went back together ok.

[pequod]

Byker28i said:

Bobberoo said:

Jordie Barretts sock said:

Managed to rip the front bumper off my Auris this morning. Reversed onto the grass to turn around and caught the bottom of the bumper on the concrete lip. Looked like it had had a stroke, palsy all on the driver's side.

Anyway, five minutes swearing, and two minutes of lift and push in the right places and it's all back together like nothing had happened. Of course I was covered in mud...

Ah that's a bugger old chap!!!

I think that's a bonus, you managed to get it back.on.

Hmmm? Ripped off his Asaurus' bottom on the lip o' concretion, without long term effects, I somehow doubt! Flapping forthcoming, maybe? I could be wrong, it has happened b4...

[Jordie Barretts sock]

Nah, it's all on solidly. Did a 100 mile trip this afternoon with no ill effects. If it was going to flap, it would have done so at 80 on the M5 or over the one or two (!!) potholes hereabouts.


Just to be sure, please cross your fingers for me.

Byker, when you are sipping your vino tinto, I can wholeheartedly recommend this little gem...



Not the cheapest (buy direct is best) but by jingo it goes well with red wine!

Their sausage crisps are good with a beer too.

[Bobberoo]

Tonight we had a rather successful chicken and vegetable casserole for tea!!

[DickyC]

And you say, on top of everything else, that someone has damaged a bumper on the Alvis?

[slopes]

Today i was rendered speechless for all of 10 seconds.

We hve a delightful young lady from Poland who works as our goods in/goods out type person and she is a great laugh, works hard and is generally a nice person.

She is not maybe the smallest person in the chesticles department and today, was talking to another lady memeber of staff slightly behind my desk and sorta south west ish if you think of a compass.
She pipes up
"hey slopes, do you want to see my party trick"
and fell about laughing
"Why yes, yes i do"
"no i can't, i said too much"
"you can't tell me and then not show me this party trick"
pause
"Okay, so i have managed to make a stick appear"
"how did you do that, it's very impressive"
"well i put my hand between my boobs in my bra and there it was"
Then proceeded to show me exactly what she meant



10 seconds later
"got any other party tricks?"

Her:

Me:

[pequod]

slopes said:

Today i was rendered speechless for all of 10 seconds.

We hve a delightful young lady from Poland who works as our goods in/goods out type person and she is a great laugh, works hard and is generally a nice person.

She is not maybe the smallest person in the chesticles department and today, was talking to another lady memeber of staff slightly behind my desk and sorta south west ish if you think of a compass.
She pipes up
"hey slopes, do you want to see my party trick"
and fell about laughing
"Why yes, yes i do"
"no i can't, i said too much"
"you can't tell me and then not show me this party trick"
pause
"Okay, so i have managed to make a stick appear"
"how did you do that, it's very impressive"
"well i put my hand between my boobs in my bra and there it was"
Then proceeded to show me exactly what she meant



10 seconds later
"got any other party tricks?"

Her:

Me:

Blimey! Sounds like a nepisode from the Rag Trade?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wEOb0C_-10

[Jordie Barretts sock]

DickyC said:

And you say, on top of everything else, that someone has damaged a bumper on the Alvis?

I wish!

[fatboy18]

Byker28i said:

Bobberoo said:

fatboy18 said:

Cheese Breath, Ive just eaten a tub of Christmas mini Cheddars! Now to hide tub from mrs fatboy!

Rinse your mouth out with bourbon?
Gnaw on a garlic bulb?
Gargle with brandy?

Twiglets is the obvious answer. Those little fun packs, so she thinks you've just had a tiny snack

Bloody good plan, especially the Bourbon bit

[Error_404_Username_not_found]

DickyC said:

And you say, on top of everything else, that someone has damaged a bumper on the Alvis?

I wouldn't be concerned.
If I remember aright, I heard that P5BNij of this parish arranged for buffers to be fitted.
The Alvis is made of sterner stuff than one might suppose.

[Bobberoo]

Error_404_Username_not_found said:

DickyC said:

And you say, on top of everything else, that someone has damaged a bumper on the Alvis?

I wouldn't be concerned.
If I remember aright, I heard that P5BNij of this parish arranged for buffers to be fitted.
The Alvis is made of sterner stuff than one might suppose.

We could always use some of the twisted girders Penrose uses for his nest!!?