Simple things you just can't do

[Pit Pony]

DickyC said:

Retaining weather forecast info on TV. The forecast ends and I've no idea what I just heard or saw.

Edited for me.

Especially if its Carol Kirkwood or Sara Blizzard (brilliant name for a weather "Girl"

Less problems concentrating if its a male "weather girl"

[Pit Pony]

cheesejunkie said:

croyde said:

I regularly mix up the words Funeral and Wedding.

To be honest both are pretty similar occasions.

A church service, see friends and family you haven't seen for ages then a wake/party afterwards.

Big aging family I've been to many more funerals than weddings.

It's not cruel to say I've enjoyed some of them and the wake afterwards. People pass in many ways. Not all are like Heany's poem of a four foot box a foot for every year. Some are bloody good fun.

The best thing at funerals is to pick the old relative that said to you at a recent wedding "That'll be you next" and repeat the comment back to them.
Turns out my Auntie Joy had a sense of humour and could see the funny side. Turns out she wasn't a teetotal Methodist after all. Pissed as a fart.

[motco]

Pit Pony said:

DickyC said:

Retaining weather forecast info on TV. The forecast ends and I've no idea what I just heard or saw.

Edited for me.

Especially if its Carol Kirkwood or Sara Blizzard (brilliant name for a weather "Girl"

Less problems concentrating if its a male "weather girl"

If it's Elizabeth Rizzini doing the forecast I have difficulty understanding her diction because she always speaks with a stupid grin on her face! 'Snow' becomes 'snay' etc. Modern women seem to variously croak with vocal fry or fail to pronounce 'O' sounds and make them 'A' sounds. Road = rade.
I have to say, though, that Lizzie Rizzi is a comely wench for all that.

[Pit Pony]

motco said:

Pit Pony said:

DickyC said:

Retaining weather forecast info on TV. The forecast ends and I've no idea what I just heard or saw.

Edited for me.

Especially if its Carol Kirkwood or Sara Blizzard (brilliant name for a weather "Girl"

Less problems concentrating if its a male "weather girl"

If it's Elizabeth Rizzini doing the forecast I have difficulty understanding her diction because she always speaks with a stupid grin on her face! 'Snow' becomes 'snay' etc. Modern women seem to variously croak with vocal fry or fail to pronounce 'O' sounds and make them 'A' sounds. Road = rade.
I have to say, though, that Lizzie Rizzi is a comely wench for all that.

It's more a breast thing with me to be fair.

[Scabutz]

RGG said:

I can't make small talk.

And I can't be diplomatic.

I can be "straightforward"


Can anyone help.

Yes, youre autistic, welcome to the club.

[Cotty]

droopsnoot said:

I can't do that, either, I'm much better at awkward silences. I also can't talk to people I don't know - there are loads of people I see in the pub that I can nod at, but I can't have a conversation with them. No idea why, I've always been like that.

I found I just have to jump in and go with it. Reminds me of the early days of Pistonheads and the Dirty Dicks monthly meets, after the first month you get to know faces but there would always be new people coming along that you had not met, but few beers and everyones chatting.

[Gladers01]

Pit Pony said:

motco said:

Pit Pony said:

DickyC said:

Retaining weather forecast info on TV. The forecast ends and I've no idea what I just heard or saw.

Edited for me.

Especially if its Carol Kirkwood or Sara Blizzard (brilliant name for a weather "Girl"

Less problems concentrating if its a male "weather girl"

If it's Elizabeth Rizzini doing the forecast I have difficulty understanding her diction because she always speaks with a stupid grin on her face! 'Snow' becomes 'snay' etc. Modern women seem to variously croak with vocal fry or fail to pronounce 'O' sounds and make them 'A' sounds. Road = rade.
I have to say, though, that Lizzie Rizzi is a comely wench for all that.

It's more a breast thing with me to be fair.

I think you should be focusing on the weather map rather than their Kangaroo pouches

Never been able to achieve a nine letter word on Countdown despite watching it for years, fine with most of the maths questions unless it's a high target number with six small numbers selected that only Rachel 'the boffin' can solve

[ChevronB19]

In these IT times, I simply cannot read the word ‘outage’ without my brain seeing it as ‘outrage’.

[SpudLink]

ChevronB19 said:

In these IT times, I simply cannot read the word ‘outage’ without my brain seeing it as ‘outrage’.

When I see Maserati Folgore written anywhere, in my head I hear "Fog Lore".

[motco]

ChevronB19 said:

In these IT times, I simply cannot read the word ‘outage’ without my brain seeing it as ‘outrage’.

Shopfitters becomes shoplifters
Uniformed police becomes uninformed police (more accurate)

[motco]

Pit Pony said:

It's more a breast thing with me to be fair.

Kate Kinsella has more than enough to go round.

[jonysan]

Cotty said:

droopsnoot said:

I can't do that, either, I'm much better at awkward silences. I also can't talk to people I don't know - there are loads of people I see in the pub that I can nod at, but I can't have a conversation with them. No idea why, I've always been like that.

I found I just have to jump in and go with it. Reminds me of the early days of Pistonheads and the Dirty Dicks monthly meets, after the first month you get to know faces but there would always be new people coming along that you had not met, but few beers and everyones chatting.

The trick is ,....ask the person about themselves! try to resist talking about yourself, (at least for a few minutes), listen for a while,

[Blib]

jonysan said:

The trick is ,....ask the person about themselves! try to resist talking about yourself, (at least for a few minutes), listen for a while,

This!

Listen, identify, be curious. Most people love talking about themselves.

Indulge them.

And, if they're clued in they will reciprocate.

It's just like a friendly game of tennis.

[thepritch]

RGG said:

I can't make small talk.

And I can't be diplomatic.

I can be "straightforward"


Can anyone help.

Don’t change! I think it’s refreshing that you’re ‘straightforward’. There are too many people playing games, or skirting around issues. At least you know where you stand when you are with someone who calls a spade a spade. I’ve learnt not to take offence when people are direct!

[singlecoil]

Play a series of notes, at any speed I wish, on a guitar or piano, and get it right 10 times in a row. It amazes me that guitar players like loud amplification, it would just make my mistakes come out louder.

[RATATTAK]

I can't and never have been able to touch my toes, either standing or sitting on the floor. (with straight legs of course)

Edited by RATATTAK on Thursday 25th April 19:42

[Doofus]

RATATTAK said:

I can't and never have been able to touch my toes, either standing or sitting on the floor.

Do you have knees?

[Nethybridge]

thepritch said:

Don’t change! I think it’s refreshing that you’re ‘straightforward’. There are too many people playing games, or skirting around issues. At least you know where you stand when you are with someone who calls a spade a spade. I’ve learnt not to take offence when people are direct!

Having rhino skin is always helpful, but I would rather give such social misfit psychopaths a body swerve.

[Blib]

thepritch said:

Don’t change! I think it’s refreshing that you’re ‘straightforward’. There are too many people playing games, or skirting around issues. At least you know where you stand when you are with someone who calls a spade a spade. I’ve learnt not to take offence when people are direct!

Many people can't tell a spade from a teapot.

[Purosangue]

Blib said:

thepritch said:

Don’t change! I think it’s refreshing that you’re ‘straightforward’. There are too many people playing games, or skirting around issues. At least you know where you stand when you are with someone who calls a spade a spade. I’ve learnt not to take offence when people are direct!

Many people can't tell a spade from a teapot.

that's the pot calling the kettle " black "