Simple things you just can't do

[Discendo Discimus]

Wrapping presents.

It's the wife's birthday today. Last night I was trying to wrap her presents and must have ripped the paper 3 times and even after putting a lot of effort in, I bet my 3 year old could do a better job.

[Lotusgone]

Eating cake, sat on the sofa, without spilling at least one crumb down my front. And that's with a plate.

[TimmyMallett]

Doofus said:

Pick up a jam jar without getting jam up both arms and down my front.

Similar issue with Marmite.

Children seem to butter the outside and as it's Marmite, I don't like to grip it too hard as I might be associated with it. I see it as a close cousin to animal faeces. Drop. Smash. Never mind.

[snuffy]

Opening plastic supermarket carrier bags - I used to try, give up, and hand it to the cashier, who'd always open then in about a microsecond. I didn't really have that problem now, since I take my own bags.

[Stella Tortoise]

Concentrate at meetings.

I'm great at 1:1 but in a group situation I just drift off into my own thoughts.

[Hoofy]

croyde said:

Hoofy said:

croyde said:

My autistic son is a whizz at the maths bit. Shame that at 21 is that all he does is sleep all day and sit on his computer all night.

Building the next unicorn start-up, AmIRight?

I wish. He seems to be brilliant at using the damn thing, and constantly talks about others who have made fortunes online while he thinks it's a bind to turn up at his Universal Credit meeting once a week.

But I digress

With a bit of encouragement, he might be able to do something useful? I can't see why someone would waste their life not trying to do something useful if they have a lot of time to spare.

I know, thread tangent and all that.

Edit: not intending to judge!

Edited by Hoofy on Tuesday 23 April 11:35

[tribbles]

Discendo Discimus said:

Wrapping presents.

It's the wife's birthday today. Last night I was trying to wrap her presents and must have ripped the paper 3 times and even after putting a lot of effort in, I bet my 3 year old could do a better job.

That's one of the skills I excel at. At one work's Christmas do, no-one guessed it was me, yet alone a man, who had wrapped one of the presents for secret Santa.

I suppose the one thing I can't do is switch off. I've always got a project on the go - currently it's my 5th hobbyist CNC machine (the 4th was 'finished' two months ago [it's not perfect]. I already know what I want for my 6th).

My wife loves going on holiday, and when we go together, that's about the only time I'm not really either work-working, or hobby-working. She's just flying back from Majorca after a few days with her nieces. I've been at home building my machine. Both of us are happy

[Dave.]

Tony Starks said:

Things to impress my kids.

My daughter is a big Fabio Wibmer/Danny Mac fan and I'd love to show her how to wheelie or bunny hop, but I'm a dead weight on my bike and struggle to get the wheel off the ground myself.

Same here, I've never been able to do a wheelie, I just don't get it. I even started a thread on here a few years ago and still can't do it.

I can do bunnyhops though, just

[droopsnoot]

toon10 said:

Remembering people I've already met. I've offended countless people by saying nice to meet you to then get a funny look in return.

That's why you see a lot of public figures saying "Nice to see you" instead of "Nice to meet you" as it's ambiguous. I have the same issue, I need to have met a person a few times before I recognise them. Once I have, that's it, but I'll easily not notice someone on a second meeting even if the first meeting was really convoluted and memorable.

[CypSIdders]

Muzzer79 said:

Touch my toes with straight legs.

I'm not just a short distance away - I can barely get halfway down my shins....

Same here, couldn't as a child and still can't.
Having said that, it's not exactly an essential life skill.

Cursive hand writing was no problem at school, however my first job was as a draughtsman, well before anyone had even thought about CAD. Any annotations on drawings had to be hand written in block capitals, I got so used to this that whenever I picked up a pen or pencil I automatically went straight to block capitals.
Eventually CAD and computers arrived so the need to write anything by hand disappeared.
Decades later and I've simply lost cursive writing, it would take an age for me to write a letter in cursive, and at some point i'd inadvertently default to block capitals and have to start again!

[toon10]

droopsnoot said:

That's why you see a lot of public figures saying "Nice to see you" instead of "Nice to meet you" as it's ambiguous. I have the same issue, I need to have met a person a few times before I recognise them. Once I have, that's it, but I'll easily not notice someone on a second meeting even if the first meeting was really convoluted and memorable.

Prety good advice actually. I think I'll start using nice to see you in future. The last time I slipped up was in a meeting in Strasbourg where my bosses boss turned up. Apparently, I'd met her before. Quite awkward for a while!

[R6tty]

toon10 said:

Remembering people I've already met. I've offended countless people by saying nice to meet you to then get a funny look in return. That's when it dawns on me that I've already met them in the past. I had a full on conversation with my sister in laws new boyfriend recently about him once living in my town. Again, he looked confused when I was asking him about it. Turns out we'd already had this conversation a few weeks back. My brain doesn't seem to retain this stuff.

It's actually a thing and it's called prosopagnosia, or face blindness. Didn't know I had it til I was in my forties.

[cheesejunkie]

Muzzer79 said:

Touch my toes with straight legs.

I'm not just a short distance away - I can barely get halfway down my shins....

I used to do a few different martial arts. I could get my palms flat on the ground with straight legs, do the splits, put my leg behind my head etc.

30 years later not an effing chance. I have started working on flexibility again, it's going ... slowly.

I do find I listen to people and don't remember a word they've said five minutes later. Weather reports similarly. I'm still in my 40's I'm not done yet but I just find I've heard the same thing so many times I fill in the blanks and don't listen.

Simple things I can't do - get peanut butter off my teeth before an important video call. I'm too stupid to give myself enough time to finish it in advance.

[CivicDuties]

Crack an egg without breaking the yolk.

Proof read my own tpying.

[Kuwahara]

Clingfilm, it always ends up a complete mess..

[nuyorican]

Magic Eye.

Just cannot get them. I’ve stared at them, through them, until I’m blue in the face. Nothing. Not even whilst under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs.

[cheesejunkie]

CivicDuties said:

Crack an egg without breaking the yolk.

Proof read my own tpying.

Proof reading!!!

I can spot every mistake in someone else's typing but can never see them in my own.

I use a tag in documents to note sections I've still to fill in. I've sent them to customers with the tag still there.

[E3134]

Never been able to recount what has happened in a film up to the point the point where someone sits down and says 'what's this film about? Why is that green Mustang chasing the Charger'

Best I can say is 'Dunno'.

[Spare tyre]

Run for more than 1/4 a mile

I can cycle all day long, walk 30 miles without breaking a sweat, I simply just can’t really run

My wife can’t tap / clap in time to music

If you hear a band and people are clapping along, she is clapping but like a seal that has been hit by a truck on the m25 just after it got electrocuted

You say “look at everyone else’s hands, why are yours not at the same time” she just looks like you told her the kettle in the kitchen is her mum

[SpudLink]

R6tty said:

toon10 said:

Remembering people I've already met. I've offended countless people by saying nice to meet you to then get a funny look in return. That's when it dawns on me that I've already met them in the past. I had a full on conversation with my sister in laws new boyfriend recently about him once living in my town. Again, he looked confused when I was asking him about it. Turns out we'd already had this conversation a few weeks back. My brain doesn't seem to retain this stuff.

It's actually a thing and it's called prosopagnosia, or face blindness. Didn't know I had it til I was in my forties.

I have never been good with faces, but I'm much worse with names. I almost never use names in conversation, even with people I've known for years. It's just too awkward if I have to pause while I try to remember the name of someone I've been friends with for 25 years.