How many pensioners would it take to give you a kicking?

[dabofoppo]

I'm a bit of a unit I weigh about 100kg and quite a lot of it is muscle. It took exactly 1x frail 98 year old man to knock me on my arse and break my nose in a nursing home.

[hidetheelephants]

bhstewie said:

Hmm perhaps they need to add pensioners to this

This graphic has a disappointing lack of Chuck Norris.

[foreright]

bhstewie said:

Hmm perhaps they need to add pensioners to this

TIL; quite a few people have no idea what a grizzly bear is!

[MattsCar]

I think I would use this tactic...

Run far enough to get a distance from the group so I am not mobbed and then slowly pick them off with a swift punch to the jaw. Rinse and repeat.

I think being mobbed due to their power in numbers is what could potentially catch me out, some pensioners have vice like grips due to manual labour jobs that simply don't exist anymore due to health and safety.

[dandarez]

s p a c e m a n said:

Got to be tactical, a good kick to the knee and 90% of them would be straight down on the floor.

That's assuming some of the 'many' middle-aged lardarses I see daily can actually lift their leg high enough to direct said kick to the oldie's knee.

I'm nudging King Charles' age.
Funny, let's turn this on its head and reverse this to the younger generation as that's where 'respect' of age should begin.

I waited for the lift in our multi-storey park Saturday (level 6, of 8). I use it almost daily. I could hear a real commotion on 7 above. As lift door opens it's full of youngsters (well, 18 yr olds or thereabouts) - we used to be called 'teens', don't think that's used much these days. Two of the guys, one with a skateboard, went 'booooo' at me, the three girls with them all did embarrassing giggling with heads down.

I just walked forward and edged inside with them, standing there literally squashed (sure they thought I was gonna die of shock or something ).
I'm 6ft1, and unlike most of my mates, not 'fat', and still pretty fit, pop no pills, and with same waist size I had at 20.
They've all now gone quiet. Lift descends... one kid goes 'Which floor mate?' I said 'Same as you lot' (noting ground floor button lit).
He then says: 'Having a good day?' I said 'Yeah, so far. Your day?' He goes 'Yeah, cool.'
As I'm almost squashed against door, I move into them when door opens, I walk out, they follow me up our High St.
A couple of 'em shout: 'Have a nice day pal.' I turn and see they all pile into Nero's.
'You too' I shout back.

Kids eh, they're fine if you treat 'em right. Just like treating us 'oldies' right. Their try at ridicule didn't work, and give 'em due, they realised.

Remember something important, one day, that's if you're lucky, (very lucky), you too, might just reach 'old' and experience 'ageism' (it stinks!).
Imagine, the generation(s) following you might not be so less forgiving:
'Oldies? Why the fk do we need them? Yeah, let's just be rid of all of them.'

[Tim Cognito]

dabofoppo said:

I'm a bit of a unit I weigh about 100kg and quite a lot of it is muscle. It took exactly 1x frail 98 year old man to knock me on my arse and break my nose in a nursing home.

Did he run you over with a mobility scooter?

[Enut]

SimpleSimonSays said:

https://youtu.be/9_OIs49m56E?si=kMftDP27BmxThtXM

Brilliant and you beat me to it.

OP you need to specify the sex of the geriatrics and also whether weapons (handbags and walking sticks specifically) are allowed.

[nordboy]

hidetheelephants said:

bhstewie said:

Hmm perhaps they need to add pensioners to this

This graphic has a disappointing lack of Chuck Norris.

That's true, and Chuck N is now 84 and there's still no one in the world who could kick his arse?

And who the hell thinks they could beat a Gorilla/ Elephant/ Lion etc in a fight??

[Fast and Spurious]

dandarez said:

That's assuming some of the 'many' middle-aged lardarses I see daily can actually lift their leg high enough to direct said kick to the oldie's knee.

I'm nudging King Charles' age.
Funny, let's turn this on its head and reverse this to the younger generation as that's where 'respect' of age should begin.

I waited for the lift in our multi-storey park Saturday (level 6, of 8). I use it almost daily. I could hear a real commotion on 7 above. As lift door opens it's full of youngsters (well, 18 yr olds or thereabouts) - we used to be called 'teens', don't think that's used much these days. Two of the guys, one with a skateboard, went 'booooo' at me, the three girls with them all did embarrassing giggling with heads down.

I just walked forward and edged inside with them, standing there literally squashed (sure they thought I was gonna die of shock or something ).
I'm 6ft1, and unlike most of my mates, not 'fat', and still pretty fit, pop no pills, and with same waist size I had at 20.
They've all now gone quiet. Lift descends... one kid goes 'Which floor mate?' I said 'Same as you lot' (noting ground floor button lit).
He then says: 'Having a good day?' I said 'Yeah, so far. Your day?' He goes 'Yeah, cool.'
As I'm almost squashed against door, I move into them when door opens, I walk out, they follow me up our High St.
A couple of 'em shout: 'Have a nice day pal.' I turn and see they all pile into Nero's.
'You too' I shout back.

Kids eh, they're fine if you treat 'em right. Just like treating us 'oldies' right. Their try at ridicule didn't work, and give 'em due, they realised.

Remember something important, one day, that's if you're lucky, (very lucky), you too, might just reach 'old' and experience 'ageism' (it stinks!).
Imagine, the generation(s) following you might not be so less forgiving:
'Oldies? Why the fk do we need them? Yeah, let's just be rid of all of them.'

Wow. This is lifted from the Taken 7 script or John Wick 12?
If only he'd seen the lift was full and waited...but then we wouldn't have got that amazing scene.

[Sporky]

I'm not much on aggression, so I'm pretty sure two of them would easily put me down. Against one stereotypical 75 year old it probably comes down to whether I'm already grumpy at something.

If my wife was there I'd say you'd need forty or fifty. More if she was allowed to use more than harsh language.

[jimmytheone]

nordboy said:

hidetheelephants said:

bhstewie said:

Hmm perhaps they need to add pensioners to this

This graphic has a disappointing lack of Chuck Norris.

That's true, and Chuck N is now 84 and there's still no one in the world who could kick his arse?

And who the hell thinks they could beat a Gorilla/ Elephant/ Lion etc in a fight??

More women than men think they could beat a Lion, according to that graphic

[bitchstewie]

It's the men who think they could beat a Chimp that gets me every time.

It would literally eat your fking face before you'd even worked out how to get a blow in

[Pitre]

"It's not the size of your dog in the fight, it's the size of fight in your dog" as someone once said (maybe Napoleon, or some other stroppy shortarse).

Some pensioners don't give a thought about self-preservation, they've been up against st all their lives, done physical work and could be fearsome. Others have led pampered office-based lives and wouldn't say boo to a goose. Impossible question....

[Sycamore]

My girlfriend and Mum (two different people ) both work in care homes so my view of the average pensioners combat capabilities is much lower.

A salt and vinegar crisp could kill most of them, so I think I'd be able to take out quite a few before getting tired and overwhelmed.

[Pitre]

jimmytheone said:

More women than men think they could beat a Lion, according to that graphic

By the super power of nag.

[simon_harris]

are these duck or horse sized pensioners?

[Forester1965]

50. Placate the group by asking them to queue up like the old rationing days to tell you a story about how it was much better back then. As each one reaches the front offer them a Worthers Original laced with Ket. Job jobbed.

[ATG]

Tim Cognito said:

dabofoppo said:

I'm a bit of a unit I weigh about 100kg and quite a lot of it is muscle. It took exactly 1x frail 98 year old man to knock me on my arse and break my nose in a nursing home.

Did he run you over with a mobility scooter?

Probably played the "senile" card too.

Whack! Knocks Tim over. Chuckles.

"Ooh, is it Tuesday or Thursday?? What are you lot doing in my house? That Ted Heath is a . Oh no, I've pissed myself. Someone needs to wash my balls. Nurse! Nurse! My balls! Not you, Derek. fk off with your cold hands. Where's young Janice? Derek, do something useful and get me a cappuccino. Ooh, ooh, is that the Luftwaffe?? Etc."

[Exasperated]

Depends where the fight is taking place. If it's at the end of an armed forces reunion meeting, I'd keep my head down. If it was an oncology ward, I'd fancy my chances.

[markymarkthree]

One slap with my heavy boomer pension book and you would be down like a sack of 5hit.