Sean Connery Joke (Volume IV)
Discussion
Two men in the pub. One says to the other "I f
ked your mum last night. Did her every which way, every hole, every position, all over the house. Finished up with her giving me a tit wk whilst sucking me off and I came all over her face."
Second man puts down his pint and says "Right, that's it, time to go home - you've had enough Dad"
ked your mum last night. Did her every which way, every hole, every position, all over the house. Finished up with her giving me a tit wk whilst sucking me off and I came all over her face."Second man puts down his pint and says "Right, that's it, time to go home - you've had enough Dad"
andy400 said:
Two men in the pub. One says to the other "I fked your mum last night. Did her every which way, every hole, every position, all over the house. Finished up with her giving me a tit wk whilst sucking me off and I came all over her face."
Second man puts down his pint and says "Right, that's it, time to go home - you've had enough Dad"
ked your mum last night. Did her every which way, every hole, every position, all over the house. Finished up with her giving me a tit wk whilst sucking me off and I came all over her face."Second man puts down his pint and says "Right, that's it, time to go home - you've had enough Dad"
mchammer89 said:
Wacky Racer said:
What's Brown and Green, has six legs, 12foot long and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A Snooker table.......
One of the few times the punchline was actually worth the excessively long space A Snooker table.......
Alex said:
mchammer89 said:
Wacky Racer said:
What's Brown and Green, has six legs, 12foot long and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A Snooker table.......
One of the few times the punchline was actually worth the excessively long space A Snooker table.......
Six Polish guys were arrested in Sunderland for kicking the st out of a group of Mackems...fking Poles eh, come over here & take all the best jobs...
A girl asks her doctor "how many calories are in cum?" The doctor replies "Honey, if you swallow, nobody cares if you're fat"
A syndicate of six black people have won 15 million on the lottery. They said they are going to emigrate to Thailand and become Thai-coons
Jeff & Jim are siamese twins joined at the hip. They walk into a bar in Ney York and order a couple of beers. Barman serves them and asks "You guys been on vactaion yet?" "We're off to England next week" says Jeff, "We go every year". The Barman says, "Yeah, England is great. The culture, history the queen...". Jeff cuts him off and replies "We don't go for that st - it's the only chance Jum gets to drive the car."
A Woman's Poem:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves tolisten long,
one who thinks before he speaks,
one who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
and when I spend, won't get annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand,
Massage my feet and help me stand.
A Man's Poem:
I pray for a deaf mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits.
Who owns a pub on a golf course and loves it in the arse.
This doesn't even rhyme but who gives a fk!
Mick is in court for a double murder. The judge says "you are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer". A man at the back of the courtroom yells out "!". The room goes silent and the judge continues. "You are also charged with beating your wife's lover to death with a hammer." Again the man yells out "YOU fkING !". The judge, at this point having had enough say, "sit,I can understand your anger at this crime, but I will have no more outbursts, if you have anything else to say, say it now". The man gets up and says "for 15 years I have lived next door to that bd and everytime I asked to borrow a fking hammer, he said he didn't have one!!"
I have some more jokes that wouldn't look good on this thread - I don't fancy a time-out in the bin (I have been selective with the jokes I have posted trying to be good) so think we should start a joke-ring on the e-mail. PM me and I'll send round the first one etc. You then post your name here and the next person PMs you and you forward it on with any extra jokes if you like...
Cheers
The Moose
t out of a group of Mackems...fking Poles eh, come over here & take all the best jobs...A girl asks her doctor "how many calories are in cum?" The doctor replies "Honey, if you swallow, nobody cares if you're fat"
A syndicate of six black people have won 15 million on the lottery. They said they are going to emigrate to Thailand and become Thai-coons
Jeff & Jim are siamese twins joined at the hip. They walk into a bar in Ney York and order a couple of beers. Barman serves them and asks "You guys been on vactaion yet?" "We're off to England next week" says Jeff, "We go every year". The Barman says, "Yeah, England is great. The culture, history the queen...". Jeff cuts him off and replies "We don't go for that s
t - it's the only chance Jum gets to drive the car."A Woman's Poem:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves tolisten long,
one who thinks before he speaks,
one who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
and when I spend, won't get annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand,
Massage my feet and help me stand.
A Man's Poem:
I pray for a deaf mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits.
Who owns a pub on a golf course and loves it in the arse.
This doesn't even rhyme but who gives a f
k!Mick is in court for a double murder. The judge says "you are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer". A man at the back of the courtroom yells out "
!". The room goes silent and the judge continues. "You are also charged with beating your wife's lover to death with a hammer." Again the man yells out "YOU fkING !". The judge, at this point having had enough say, "sit,I can understand your anger at this crime, but I will have no more outbursts, if you have anything else to say, say it now". The man gets up and says "for 15 years I have lived next door to that bd and everytime I asked to borrow a fking hammer, he said he didn't have one!!"I have some more jokes that wouldn't look good on this thread - I don't fancy a time-out in the bin (I have been selective with the jokes I have posted trying to be good) so think we should start a joke-ring on the e-mail. PM me and I'll send round the first one etc. You then post your name here and the next person PMs you and you forward it on with any extra jokes if you like...
Cheers
The Moose
snowy slopes said:
stifler said:
There's nothing worse after sex than looking down and finding a broken condom hanging off your dick...... especially when you weren't wearing one.
STRIKE THREE!!!!! YOOURRRRRR OUT!!!!!
Thats you off the flight to hell mate!;)stifler said:
snowy slopes said:
stifler said:
There's nothing worse after sex than looking down and finding a broken condom hanging off your dick...... especially when you weren't wearing one.
STRIKE THREE!!!!! YOOURRRRRR OUT!!!!! Thats you off the flight to hell mate!;)Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff