Sean Connery Joke (Volume IV)
Discussion
snowy slopes said:
The Moose said:
snowy - I got your PM, but it isn't allowing me to reply??
Cheers
The Moose
Okay mate, i'll send you my e-mail address,or you can PM me with the joke. Computers eh??Cheers
The Moose
Cheers bud!
...oh, and I didn't say anything about your e-mail address
Cheers
The Moose
snowy slopes said:
Dear moose,
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
Tell me when you've done it!! LOL
Cheers
The Moose
ETA: I would have told you but the bounce message I got didn't give a reason as to why it failed!
Edited by The Moose on Wednesday 2nd September 14:52
The Moose said:
snowy slopes said:
Dear moose,
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
Tell me when you've done it!! LOL
Cheers
The Moose
ETA: I would have told you but the bounce message I got didn't give a reason as to why it failed!
Edited by The Moose on Wednesday 2nd September 14:52
- mutter computers mutter*
Nope, its defo your end as mine is fine, just got several e-mails from other people i was expecting!
Edited by snowy slopes on Wednesday 2nd September 15:01
snowy slopes said:
The Moose said:
snowy slopes said:
Dear moose,
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
Tell me when you've done it!! LOL
Cheers
The Moose
ETA: I would have told you but the bounce message I got didn't give a reason as to why it failed!
Edited by The Moose on Wednesday 2nd September 14:52
- mutter computers mutter*
Nope, its defo your end as mine is fine, just got several e-mails from other people i was expecting!
Edited by snowy slopes on Wednesday 2nd September 15:01
Defo can't be my end. Am with Gmail and I am using 1716MB out of 7365MB (23% apparently!!)
Cheers
The Moose
The Moose said:
snowy slopes said:
The Moose said:
snowy slopes said:
Dear moose,
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
With regards you not being able to reply to my e-mail, the following might help
EMPTY YOU INBOX FER CHRISSAKES!
So the message i just got tells me, it says thats why it cant deliver it mate!
Tell me when you've done it!! LOL
Cheers
The Moose
ETA: I would have told you but the bounce message I got didn't give a reason as to why it failed!
Edited by The Moose on Wednesday 2nd September 14:52
- mutter computers mutter*
Nope, its defo your end as mine is fine, just got several e-mails from other people i was expecting!
Edited by snowy slopes on Wednesday 2nd September 15:01
Defo can't be my end. Am with Gmail and I am using 1716MB out of 7365MB (23% apparently!!)
Cheers
The Moose
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH f
king virgin bd media! Both of the e-mails you sent me just turned up a minute ago! At least i got the joke finally, and back on topic,Edited by snowy slopes on Wednesday 2nd September 15:37
=The Moose
Yes very droll!! Lets not get the mods telling us off again eh?
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.
The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much
For the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read......
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
The cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked
On Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
Off a fig Bart.. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and
A hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny
How true the above is, I no not. I do remember Ronnie and his spoonerisms but can't say I remember the above one.
The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much
For the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read......
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
The cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked
On Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
Off a fig Bart.. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and
A hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny
How true the above is, I no not. I do remember Ronnie and his spoonerisms but can't say I remember the above one.
robinhood21 said:
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.
The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much
For the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read......
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
The cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked
On Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
Off a fig Bart.. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and
A hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny
How true the above is, I no not. I do remember Ronnie and his spoonerisms but can't say I remember the above one.
See about oooooohh four pages or so back!;)The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much
For the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read......
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
The cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked
On Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
Off a fig Bart.. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and
A hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny
How true the above is, I no not. I do remember Ronnie and his spoonerisms but can't say I remember the above one.
Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have perfect vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be fooked if he needed glasses".
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have perfect vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be fooked if he needed glasses".
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