Classic from the Mrs!
Discussion
Pesty said:
Did anybody watch google box last night.
Woman. " how many is a million, is it one hundred thousand?"
Amazing, isn't it! I've quoted this before, but my youngest lad when he was 3 or 4.Woman. " how many is a million, is it one hundred thousand?"
Him "Dad, is 168,000 the biggest number in the world?"
Me "No, there's 168,001?
Him "Oooo.... I was so close."
Blown2CV said:
Phunk said:
Flat mates girlfriend:
"What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
That's red card material. If he didn't dump her on the spot you need to have a word. "What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
Phunk said:
Flat mates girlfriend:
"What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
I can't remember if I've posted this before."What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
It was early 80's and was at my girlfriend's place. We were watching the news with some of her female friends (they were at a posh secretarial school trying to land a Cambridge undergrad).
The news item was about Apartheid. "What's that?" asked one of them? I explained what it was. "Oh that's nice. I don't like black people either" was her response. Argument ensued.
Phunk said:
Flat mates girlfriend:
"What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
Ooh ooh can I post my favourite one again "What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
blueg33 said:
I was discussing with a mate detachable steering wheel bosses the other day
My daughter was listening in and said
"I always thought the steering boss was another term for the driver"
My daughter was listening in and said
"I always thought the steering boss was another term for the driver"
I love that.
"Look at Hamilton - coming down the straight. Battling with Nico. Goes for the undercut and hangs him out to dry. That is one damn good steering boss".
Not sure this is the right thread but here goes...
Years ago when watching the football, a player scored and celebrated with a backflip. Might have been Nani. The wife says 'how do the learn to do that? Shouldn't they be football training instead?' On the spur of the moment i'm hint with a flash of inspiration
"Its what they do through the summer, the end the season so they can all go off to summer camps to practice goal celebrations and think up new ones"
Not sure if i'd sold it but she seemed pretty convinced.
Imagine my delight when this week, after hearing about the WC she exclaims
"But when are they going to practice?!"
"What are you on about?"
"The celebrations! If they have to play in the summer they'll have to use the same ones next season!"
I haven't laugh so much for quite a while and had to come clean.
Years ago when watching the football, a player scored and celebrated with a backflip. Might have been Nani. The wife says 'how do the learn to do that? Shouldn't they be football training instead?' On the spur of the moment i'm hint with a flash of inspiration
"Its what they do through the summer, the end the season so they can all go off to summer camps to practice goal celebrations and think up new ones"
Not sure if i'd sold it but she seemed pretty convinced.
Imagine my delight when this week, after hearing about the WC she exclaims
"But when are they going to practice?!"
"What are you on about?"
"The celebrations! If they have to play in the summer they'll have to use the same ones next season!"
I haven't laugh so much for quite a while and had to come clean.
Blown2CV said:
Phunk said:
Flat mates girlfriend:
"What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
That's red card material. If he didn't dump her on the spot you need to have a word. "What's the Holocaust, is it something to do with god, or is it sex or is it the devil possessing you"
We then ridiculed her for it and her response was:
"I'll tell you the reason I don't know what the holocaust is, I didn't study History in school. I only did Higher History and learnt about World War 2"
CanAm said:
German school-children are taught all about Holocaust. It's compulsory in their schools.
..maybe Slipstream was making a joke? It is a criminal offence in Germany. Maybe that's why the assumed German girl left?
I may be joking in some of my comments above.
Edited by 80sMatchbox on Wednesday 14th May 21:32
On the phone to my girlfriend last night must be a first for this thread but she isn't a teacher or a company director anyway, she decides to tell me about this new discovery they've made about the centre of the earth or something (she didnt have my full attention) but something caught my attention
Girlfriend says : Anyway they did this experiment right and because no matter where you are in the world your always the same distance from the centre of the earth..
Me : Erm are you sure?
Girlfriend : Yes, for example London and Sydney are equal distances to the centre.
Me : You can't be serious? So someone on sea level and someone ontop of everest are the same distance from the centre of the earth?
Girlfriend : Yes what don't you understand about that!? (Getting irrate)
Me : You know what nevermind just tell me the earth thing for f
k sake
I'm still not convinced she gets it..
Not hilarious but my first genuine fail by the mrs!
Girlfriend says : Anyway they did this experiment right and because no matter where you are in the world your always the same distance from the centre of the earth..
Me : Erm are you sure?
Girlfriend : Yes, for example London and Sydney are equal distances to the centre.
Me : You can't be serious? So someone on sea level and someone ontop of everest are the same distance from the centre of the earth?
Girlfriend : Yes what don't you understand about that!? (Getting irrate)
Me : You know what nevermind just tell me the earth thing for f
k sakeI'm still not convinced she gets it..
Not hilarious but my first genuine fail by the mrs!
DannyScene said:
On the phone to my girlfriend last night must be a first for this thread but she isn't a teacher or a company director anyway, she decides to tell me about this new discovery they've made about the centre of the earth or something (she didnt have my full attention) but something caught my attention
Girlfriend says : Anyway they did this experiment right and because no matter where you are in the world your always the same distance from the centre of the earth..
Me : Erm are you sure?
Girlfriend : Yes, for example London and Sydney are equal distances to the centre.
Me : You can't be serious? So someone on sea level and someone ontop of everest are the same distance from the centre of the earth?
Girlfriend : Yes what don't you understand about that!? (Getting irrate)
Me : You know what nevermind just tell me the earth thing for fk sake
I'm still not convinced she gets it..
Not hilarious but my first genuine fail by the mrs!
I'm too kind to say anything about a man being stupid. Girlfriend says : Anyway they did this experiment right and because no matter where you are in the world your always the same distance from the centre of the earth..
Me : Erm are you sure?
Girlfriend : Yes, for example London and Sydney are equal distances to the centre.
Me : You can't be serious? So someone on sea level and someone ontop of everest are the same distance from the centre of the earth?
Girlfriend : Yes what don't you understand about that!? (Getting irrate)
Me : You know what nevermind just tell me the earth thing for f
k sakeI'm still not convinced she gets it..
Not hilarious but my first genuine fail by the mrs!
Edited by Carthage on Wednesday 14th May 16:42
Edited by Carthage on Wednesday 14th May 16:54
Carthage said:
DannyScene said:
On the phone to my girlfriend last night must be a first for this thread but she isn't a teacher or a company director anyway, she decides to tell me about this new discovery they've made about the centre of the earth or something (she didnt have my full attention) but something caught my attention
Girlfriend says : Anyway they did this experiment right and because no matter where you are in the world your always the same distance from the centre of the earth..
Me : Erm are you sure?
Girlfriend : Yes, for example London and Sydney are equal distances to the centre.
Me : You can't be serious? So someone on sea level and someone ontop of everest are the same distance from the centre of the earth?
Girlfriend : Yes what don't you understand about that!? (Getting irrate)
Me : You know what nevermind just tell me the earth thing for fk sake
I'm still not convinced she gets it..
Not hilarious but my first genuine fail by the mrs!
I'm too kind to say anything about a man being stupid. Girlfriend says : Anyway they did this experiment right and because no matter where you are in the world your always the same distance from the centre of the earth..
Me : Erm are you sure?
Girlfriend : Yes, for example London and Sydney are equal distances to the centre.
Me : You can't be serious? So someone on sea level and someone ontop of everest are the same distance from the centre of the earth?
Girlfriend : Yes what don't you understand about that!? (Getting irrate)
Me : You know what nevermind just tell me the earth thing for f
k sakeI'm still not convinced she gets it..
Not hilarious but my first genuine fail by the mrs!
Edited by Carthage on Wednesday 14th May 16:42
Edited by Carthage on Wednesday 14th May 16:54
I kid you not...
1. "Why are they complaining that we didn't do well in the Eurovision Song Contest? Denmark came second and isn't it in England?"
Suffice to say, Dorling Kindersley will be contacted and a First Atlas purchased shortly.
2. On watching a programme about Richard Branson's life, business etc...
"How did he make all that money from selling pickle? It doesn't even taste nice."
1. "Why are they complaining that we didn't do well in the Eurovision Song Contest? Denmark came second and isn't it in England?"
Suffice to say, Dorling Kindersley will be contacted and a First Atlas purchased shortly.
2. On watching a programme about Richard Branson's life, business etc...
"How did he make all that money from selling pickle? It doesn't even taste nice."
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff