Classic from the Mrs!
Discussion
Hooli said:
HereBeMonsters said:
Hooli said:
mister_ee said:
OlberJ said:
Seemingly if they are up there good and solid then it's a perfectly good base to use I am told.
Which is why I had to chisel off 3 layers of the b
ds when I did my kitchen, the bathroom isn't looking right good either (tiles shouldn't be flush with door architrave should they?)havoc said:
Hooli said:
HereBeMonsters said:
Hooli said:
mister_ee said:
OlberJ said:
Seemingly if they are up there good and solid then it's a perfectly good base to use I am told.
Which is why I had to chisel off 3 layers of the bds when I did my kitchen, the bathroom isn't looking right good either (tiles shouldn't be flush with door architrave should they?)Cliftonite said:
Not so much what she said, but it was over 24 hours (of being with her) before she noticed I had shaved off my full beard! And only then when someone else remarked upon it!
And this from a woman that can spot an errant dog hair on the carpet from 50 paces!
Perhaps shaven you look like the guy she's shagging? And this from a woman that can spot an errant dog hair on the carpet from 50 paces!
Edited by Foxeh on Friday 25th July 19:42
A couple from the ex wife,
Lovely sunny weekend visiting her folks, we walk in to their living room and she shouts to her mum in another room
"Oooh have you had tinted windows fitted in here?"
Cue me staring at the glass thinking what the fk is she on about now!
I look back at her as she says " I think it makes the room look really dark"
"You've still got your sunglasses on love" was my reply
Walking along the prom in Llandudno eating an ice-cream
Me, do you want to sit on a bench
Her, no I don't sit on benches they are unlucky
Me, WHAT?
Her, look.... There is a plaque on nearly every bench along here where someone has died
Me, they didn't actually die ON the bench.......they........ Oh it doesn't fkin matter
Lovely sunny weekend visiting her folks, we walk in to their living room and she shouts to her mum in another room
"Oooh have you had tinted windows fitted in here?"
Cue me staring at the glass thinking what the f
k is she on about now!I look back at her as she says " I think it makes the room look really dark"
"You've still got your sunglasses on love" was my reply
Walking along the prom in Llandudno eating an ice-cream
Me, do you want to sit on a bench
Her, no I don't sit on benches they are unlucky
Me, WHAT?
Her, look.... There is a plaque on nearly every bench along here where someone has died
Me, they didn't actually die ON the bench.......they........ Oh it doesn't f
kin matter
kowalski655 said:
blueg33 said:
My secretary isn't speaking to me.
Apparently I am a lowlife.
I told her that I slept with a married woman last week!
In fact I sleep with a married woman most weeks and have done since I got married.
Yes, but does your wife know? Apparently I am a lowlife.
I told her that I slept with a married woman last week!
In fact I sleep with a married woman most weeks and have done since I got married.
pja said:
A couple from the ex wife,
Lovely sunny weekend visiting her folks, we walk in to their living room and she shouts to her mum in another room
"Oooh have you had tinted windows fitted in here?"
Cue me staring at the glass thinking what the fk is she on about now!
I look back at her as she says " I think it makes the room look really dark"
"You've still got your sunglasses on love" was my reply
Walking along the prom in Llandudno eating an ice-cream
Me, do you want to sit on a bench
Her, no I don't sit on benches they are unlucky
Me, WHAT?
Her, look.... There is a plaque on nearly every bench along here where someone has died
Me, they didn't actually die ON the bench.......they........ Oh it doesn't fkin matter
No wonder she's your ex. Lovely sunny weekend visiting her folks, we walk in to their living room and she shouts to her mum in another room
"Oooh have you had tinted windows fitted in here?"
Cue me staring at the glass thinking what the f
k is she on about now!I look back at her as she says " I think it makes the room look really dark"
"You've still got your sunglasses on love" was my reply
Walking along the prom in Llandudno eating an ice-cream
Me, do you want to sit on a bench
Her, no I don't sit on benches they are unlucky
Me, WHAT?
Her, look.... There is a plaque on nearly every bench along here where someone has died
Me, they didn't actually die ON the bench.......they........ Oh it doesn't f
kin matteron returning from work I noticed that our lollypop type bay tree by our front door that used to be about 3 foot high with a perfect round bushy head had been reduced to a 6 inch twig poking out of a pot. I told my wife that somebody had vandalised it, she replied that she had pruned it.
A month later she tried to convince me she was a 'Borderline genius'...
A month later she tried to convince me she was a 'Borderline genius'...
stuttgartmetal said:
Sweletering Sunday afternoon in Caterham.
Its so hot, the dog is lying on his side, panting out of it.
Ive gpot a cold beer, and barbecueing chicken.
Me: Its a hot one today.
Her: I thought the rain yesterday would have cooled it down a bit.
Presumably she's talking about the retained heat in the earth/buildings?!Its so hot, the dog is lying on his side, panting out of it.
Ive gpot a cold beer, and barbecueing chicken.
Me: Its a hot one today.
Her: I thought the rain yesterday would have cooled it down a bit.
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