Management bulls**t phrases

Management bulls**t phrases

Author
Discussion

iphonedyou

9,255 posts

158 months

Friday 6th February 2015
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CraigyMc said:
What would you say architects do? One word answer.
Design.

(Sorry, only just saw this).

CaptainSlow

13,179 posts

213 months

Friday 6th February 2015
quotequote all
If you have any questions please reach out to me.

Blown2CV

28,861 posts

204 months

Friday 6th February 2015
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Socialise it
Front and centre
It's right in his wheelhouse
Work of fiction
Eat your own dog food

Vaud

50,597 posts

156 months

Friday 6th February 2015
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
Socialise it
Front and centre
It's right in his wheelhouse
Work of fiction
Eat your own dog food
"Work of fiction" is hardly BS. "His CV is a work of fiction" would be correct English and a polite way of describing an overly ambitious CV... wink

"Eat your own dog food" was created by Paul Maritz, one of the least BS people around and a techie geek.

I agree they both get misused. And agree on the others.

blueST

4,399 posts

217 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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I was told we might be ina position to "breathe our own smoke" soon. I think they meant me can reinvest any left over budget.

Martin4x4

6,506 posts

133 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
iphonedyou said:
CraigyMc said:
What would you say architects do? One word answer.
Design.

(Sorry, only just saw this).
Demanding just one word is stupid, they "design st".

mattdaniels

7,353 posts

283 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
Eat your own dog food
AKA "dogfooding".

Countdown

39,963 posts

197 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
CaptainSlow said:
If you have any questions please reach out to me.
If only our HR Manager (sorry "HR Business Partner") had said that at my induction...... biggrin

Blown2CV

28,861 posts

204 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
Let's stay joined up

GBGaffer

546 posts

271 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
Tyre Tread said:
Ok, I'll have a go:

In one word, what do the following do:
Fireman - extinguishes
Surgeon - cuts
Paramedic - maintains
Director - directs
King - rules
Estate Agent - cheats
etc.

biggrin

vikingaero

10,379 posts

170 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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Brand - as overused as PVC Executive Briefcases in the 80's.

"Our Widget brand is the premier choice for upper percentile widget users" says Knobhead office suits.

Go to a BMW/MINI/Audi/Mercedes/Lexus/Premium dealership and it's mandatory for the workers to masturbate about "brands".

Jaroon

1,441 posts

161 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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"It's in the pre production stage" - (I totally forgot about it).

Pit Pony

8,641 posts

122 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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a) Don't waste time doing this task properly, just get it all finished today, whether it's right or not. We just need to tick that box with the customer, that says we've done it and move on.

And

b) We know what is the problem so just fix it.

Which given that a) was doing a proper Process Failure Modes Effects Analysis which would take 3 weeks, and b) was actually ballocks because the real problem was the failure to assess the risks effectively BEFORE the event, and ensuring it didn't happen.

RobinBanks

17,540 posts

180 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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I still think that Gus Hedges did it better than anyone.

(no, that's not one of the phrases)

Vaud

50,597 posts

156 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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RobinBanks said:
I still think that Gus Hedges did it better than anyone.

(no, that's not one of the phrases)
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0117015/quotes

"We've got to downsize our sloppiness overload, Joy. Am I making myself clear?"

RobinBanks

17,540 posts

180 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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I just remember when Henry lost his house or it was being renovated or something and the way that Gus offered him his spare room was "I have a sleep area overcapacity situation."

Blown2CV

28,861 posts

204 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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if you've never seen office space, get it ASAP


BryanC

1,107 posts

239 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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I worked with a German guy and we fell about laughing when he suggested...
' Ve vill have to pull our socks out and put our noses to the grindstone'.

UncappedTag

2,102 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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Blown2CV said:
if you've never seen office space, get it ASAP

TPS report?

mitzy

13,857 posts

198 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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Lets get our ducks in a row

I dont want to turn this into a sausage machine