'True Lad' - Banter

[Flying Toilet]

Neil H said:

Flying Toilet said:

heta1 said:

Tosser

Edited by heta1 on Thursday 13th May 10:34

That took an edit? Really?!

It originally said 'knobhead', I guess he really agonises over his insults.

Must be school holidays in Derbyshire then...

[Jgtv]

t84 said:

Zod said:

ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Do you tend to gain most of your education from the text on the back of crisp packets?

well everyone like to read when they are on the toilet dont they?

[The Riddler]

Jgtv said:

t84 said:

Zod said:

ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Do you tend to gain most of your education from the text on the back of crisp packets?

well everyone like to read when they are on the toilet dont they?

I can recite the full product information on the Toilet Duck and Domestos bottles.

[Disastrous]

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

Excellent!

[t84]

Jgtv said:

t84 said:

Zod said:

ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Do you tend to gain most of your education from the text on the back of crisp packets?

well everyone like to read when they are on the toilet dont they?

Who keeps crisps in the toilet?!

[Flying Toilet]

t84 said:

Jgtv said:

t84 said:

Zod said:

ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Do you tend to gain most of your education from the text on the back of crisp packets?

well everyone like to read when they are on the toilet dont they?

Who keeps crisps in the toilet?!

Elvis.

HTH.

[Neil H]

t84 said:

Jgtv said:

t84 said:

Zod said:

ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Do you tend to gain most of your education from the text on the back of crisp packets?

well everyone like to read when they are on the toilet dont they?

Who keeps crisps in the toilet?!

People who like to read on the toilet. Do try and keep up.

[MoesTavern]

I'm sure I read all these in FHM in about 1997, when Lad culture was in full swing.
Hilarious to a horny pubescent, not so much now.

[OllieWinchester]

musclecarmad said:

guys, this kind of stuff really and truly does happen.

I could tell you all manner of brilliant funny stories.

ok some on the sites will be lies but I kid you not some of my mates are absolutely wild.

you generally need to be plastered (then anything could happen) and on a friday or saturday night.

I could tell a million stories myself. I'm not as young as I used to be but on friday just gone i went out in my local town and there was a good story involving a few people

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

the main ones imho tend to be on lads holidays - had 3 so far this year including spring break in mexico - the americans can be wild and got another 4 coming up this year so there will be some good stories.

most people i know are boring and have 4 beers on a saturday night and go home at midnight, but, if you are willing to push the shots down your neck, stay out as late as possible, something ALWAYS happens. There is only a few of my original group of school and uni mates that still hit the partying 110% but I can guarantee those stories won't all be made up

OK, maybe not everyweekend does a sean connery story happen but there is always a funny story to tell.

Edited by musclecarmad on Wednesday 12th May 19:02

Is this posted in jest, or is it you actually being serious? If your answer is the latter, then it is genuinely the wkiest thing I think I have ever read. Well done...

[thinfourth2]

i'm no superhero said:

What is PHs thought on this website, which seeks to collect the experiences of 'true lads?'

I have spent over an hour reading the stories... for a 19 year old it is fking hilarious.

www.truelad.com

Thoughts?

A online shrine to the fkwits of this country and everything i utterly hate beered up abusive half brained idiots who should be shot

[illmonkey]

OllieWinchester said:

musclecarmad said:

guys, this kind of stuff really and truly does happen.

I could tell you all manner of brilliant funny stories.

ok some on the sites will be lies but I kid you not some of my mates are absolutely wild.

you generally need to be plastered (then anything could happen) and on a friday or saturday night.

I could tell a million stories myself. I'm not as young as I used to be but on friday just gone i went out in my local town and there was a good story involving a few people

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

the main ones imho tend to be on lads holidays - had 3 so far this year including spring break in mexico - the americans can be wild and got another 4 coming up this year so there will be some good stories.

most people i know are boring and have 4 beers on a saturday night and go home at midnight, but, if you are willing to push the shots down your neck, stay out as late as possible, something ALWAYS happens. There is only a few of my original group of school and uni mates that still hit the partying 110% but I can guarantee those stories won't all be made up

OK, maybe not everyweekend does a sean connery story happen but there is always a funny story to tell.

Edited by musclecarmad on Wednesday 12th May 19:02

Is this posted in jest, or is it you actually being serious? If your answer is the latter, then it is genuinely the wkiest thing I think I have ever read. Well done...

Ha. I'm the total flip side of this bloke. I enjoy having a few beers in a quite pub on a Saturday night, then going home at midnight before all the idiots come out running riot.

Some of the stories are ok, but most are chavvy 18 year olds trying to impress internet people, sad really.

tt on LADS said:

Having spent the evening in the company of Mr. Foster and Mr. Carl S. Berg, my companions and I decided to head to the sweaty local nightclub to see if we could woo some damsels. Unfortunately, our shortcut over the river is blocked by a locked gate. Deciding that our best option is to climb over, I promptly fall into the ice-cold, muddy, filthy water. I was a little embarassed, but unwilling to give up, so I ran home, stripped off, towelled myself dry, put on some tracky b's (PUMA, none of your Jack Wills st) and headed back out. Once in the club and I got talking to a lovely bird (solid 7/10), who found my story so hilarious that she asked me back to hers. Needless to say, I wasn't the only one who got wet that night. LAD

Where is the cringe emotion?

Edited by illmonkey on Friday 14th May 08:56

[jshell]

musclecarmad said:

Or888t said:

al1991 said:

It would be a bit better if I actually believed any of them.

Massive +1

guys, this kind of stuff really and truly does happen.

I could tell you all manner of brilliant funny stories.

ok some on the sites will be lies but I kid you not some of my mates are absolutely wild.

you generally need to be plastered (then anything could happen) and on a friday or saturday night.

I could tell a million stories myself. I'm not as young as I used to be but on friday just gone i went out in my local town and there was a good story involving a few people

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

the main ones imho tend to be on lads holidays - had 3 so far this year including spring break in mexico - the americans can be wild and got another 4 coming up this year so there will be some good stories.

most people i know are boring and have 4 beers on a saturday night and go home at midnight, but, if you are willing to push the shots down your neck, stay out as late as possible, something ALWAYS happens. There is only a few of my original group of school and uni mates that still hit the partying 110% but I can guarantee those stories won't all be made up

OK, maybe not everyweekend does a sean connery story happen but there is always a funny story to tell.

Edited by musclecarmad on Wednesday 12th May 19:02

You're just, well, like, 'totally mad', Lloyd!

[Zod]

t84 said:

Zod said:

ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Do you tend to gain most of your education from the text on the back of crisp packets?

You can find educational sources everywhere. I was merely picking one that people like you and heta might relate to.

[t84]

Why were you picking one for me? Considering that was my first post on the thread? Have you been following me around PH?

[WorAl]

musclecarmad said:

guys, this kind of stuff really and truly does happen.

I could tell you all manner of brilliant funny stories.

ok some on the sites will be lies but I kid you not some of my mates are absolutely wild.

you generally need to be plastered (then anything could happen) and on a friday or saturday night.

I could tell a million stories myself. I'm not as young as I used to be but on friday just gone i went out in my local town and there was a good story involving a few people

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

the main ones imho tend to be on lads holidays - had 3 so far this year including spring break in mexico - the americans can be wild and got another 4 coming up this year so there will be some good stories.

most people i know are boring and have 4 beers on a saturday night and go home at midnight, but, if you are willing to push the shots down your neck, stay out as late as possible, something ALWAYS happens. There is only a few of my original group of school and uni mates that still hit the partying 110% but I can guarantee those stories won't all be made up

OK, maybe not everyweekend does a sean connery story happen but there is always a funny story to tell.

Jack. The LAD

[Zod]

t84 said:

Why were you picking one for me? Considering that was my first post on the thread? Have you been following me around PH?

"people like..." You fit into the category.

Look, I'm just teasing. It's not serious!

[Frankeh]

Disastrous said:

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

Excellent!

That post is amazing.
Scrumper, you get a golf clap from me.

[Dave200]

WorAl said:

musclecarmad said:

guys, this kind of stuff really and truly does happen.

I could tell you all manner of brilliant funny stories.

ok some on the sites will be lies but I kid you not some of my mates are absolutely wild.

you generally need to be plastered (then anything could happen) and on a friday or saturday night.

I could tell a million stories myself. I'm not as young as I used to be but on friday just gone i went out in my local town and there was a good story involving a few people

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

the main ones imho tend to be on lads holidays - had 3 so far this year including spring break in mexico - the americans can be wild and got another 4 coming up this year so there will be some good stories.

most people i know are boring and have 4 beers on a saturday night and go home at midnight, but, if you are willing to push the shots down your neck, stay out as late as possible, something ALWAYS happens. There is only a few of my original group of school and uni mates that still hit the partying 110% but I can guarantee those stories won't all be made up

OK, maybe not everyweekend does a sean connery story happen but there is always a funny story to tell.

Jack. The LAD

My word. Going out in THE MAYFAIR. Can the human mind imagine anything 'wilder' than that...
Lads' holidays too. You crazy cat.

You could probably do with expanding your horizons a touch, my darling.

[WorAl]

Dave200 said:

You could probably do with expanding your horizons a touch, my darling.

I don't know why, but that line made me think of

[Scrumper]

Frankeh said:

Disastrous said:

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

Excellent!

That post is amazing.
Scrumper, you get a golf clap from me.

Aww, thanks. Is that like cricket applause?