Stupid Sayings (That You Like)

[NoNeed]

Conian said:

an ex boss ( who was a good boss ) once said to the team 'there is no I in team'
to which i replied 'no, but in , there's u'

I usually reply no but there is an M and an E

[Conian]

NoNeed said:

Conian said:

an ex boss ( who was a good boss ) once said to the team 'there is no I in team'
to which i replied 'no, but in , there's u'

I usually reply no but there is an M and an E

hahah i will store that one for when i have a boss who i can't call a

[down4whatever]

Kid says to his father; "Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?"
Father; "Like a beautiful rose coming in to flower,son"
Kid says; "And what does it look like after sex, Dad?"

"Ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?"

[spyder dryver]

Fits "like a glove on a chicken's lip"

[blindswelledrat]

spyder dryver said:

Fits "like a glove on a chicken's lip"

I quite like that, even though I don't have the feingtest idea what it purports to say

[Smashed]

I had a mate that used this one whenever something lame happened, "oh well better than st in the eye"

He had a point a lot of things are indeed better than st in the eye.

[Original Poster]

I like "in all sorts of bother"

I use it at least 4 times a day...

[Dr Jekyll]

"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it"

"It was raining cats and dogs and I walked into a poodle."

[Chewitt]

"more grunt than a rutting sperm whale" - circa 1992 performance bikes mag

"you weren't made at Pilks" (pilks - Pilkington glass) one of my dad's favourites

[80s Matchbox]

I quite like "Does the pope st in the woods?". Has been used a lot but it's worth mentioning occasionally...and you sometimes get a puzzeld look..


And if someone uses the "does a bear st in the woods?" line, and you reply, "not a polar bear", it usually takes the wind out of their sails.




"She's had had more c0ck than Bernard Matthews"

Edited by 80s Matchbox on Saturday 25th September 09:25

[North West Tom]

80s Matchbox said:

"She's had had more c0ck than Bernard Matthews"

Edited by 80s Matchbox on Saturday 25th September 09:25

Rogered more times than a policeman's walkie talkie.

[80s Matchbox]

North West Tom said:

80s Matchbox said:

"She's had had more c0ck than Bernard Matthews"

Edited by 80s Matchbox on Saturday 25th September 09:25

Rogered more times than a policeman's walkie talkie.

A genuine

I'm going to use that one! Hopefully not when I'm talking about anyone I know well.

[ManaghGB]

To describe someone who always seems to do well out of something:

"If they fell in a pile of st they'd still come out smelling like roses"

[Gnits]

Cunch of bunts - one of our software suppliers.

Quite liked the expression of some old grizzled deep south Special Forces chap talking about what its like when a hand grenade goes off underwater and you're in the water "like cramming an egg whisk up yo ass and puttin a mad man on the crank"

[Twincam16]

I've always liked 'as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike' and 'as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit' myself.

[Dave Angel]

"She had a face like a dropped pie"

[NoNeed]

ManaghGB said:

To describe someone who always seems to do well out of something:

"If they fell in a pile of st they'd still come out smelling like roses"

I use "if they fell off the roof at john lewis they would fall into a new suit".

[domgrant]

"about as popular as a rattle snake in a lucky dip"

"If you fell into a box of tits you would come out sucking your thumb"

[Hammer67]

She`s seen more stiffs than Quincy

She`s been cocked more times than Dick Turpin`s pistol

Even the tide wouldn`t take her out

Rougher than 40grit

[Carparticus]

I've eaten vegetables smarter than him.

Do you want some ketchup to go with that chip on your shoulder?

Delusions of adequacy. Came in at the bottom and started digging.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit all the branches on the way down.

It was so cold I had to stick my finger up my arse to pop my willy out.


She had a face like a painters radio..