'tight' jokes?

Author
Discussion

ErnestM

11,621 posts

269 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
He's so tight that...

...his hearing aid has a solar battery
...he's still waiting for the Bible to come out in paperback
...he won't even tip his hat
...he counts his fingers after he shakes your hand


Bigfatnath

815 posts

210 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
He`s tighter than two coats of paint.

ellroy

7,109 posts

227 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
So tight he's like a Yorkshire man with all the generosity kicked out of him.

Tango13

8,568 posts

178 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
"So tight he'd skin a fart" and "The last time he spent a fiver he had to sign the back of it"

I used the last one down the club once and the old boy standing next to me laughed as he'd once been asked to sign the back of a white fiver.

Some Gump

12,748 posts

188 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
[ph]
tighter than a first gear hairpin
[/ph]

SplatSpeed

7,490 posts

253 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
tighter than a gnats arse squeezed over a jan jar

Saddle bum

4,211 posts

221 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
He and a scotsman argued over a penny, hence the invention of copper wire.

Elskeggso

3,100 posts

189 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
Tight like prom night.

sneijder

5,221 posts

236 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
Saddle bum said:
He and a scotsman argued over a penny, hence the invention of copper wire.
So tight he doesn't click on the first page.

anonymous-user

56 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
SplatSpeed said:
tighter than a gnats arse squeezed over a jan jar
that makes no sense

poo at Paul's

14,225 posts

177 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
Throws money about like a man with no arms

VX Foxy

3,962 posts

245 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
HereBeMonsters said:
NDA said:
As tight as an otters pocket.
I think you've confused a few similies here. tongue out
As tight as a Nun's .

wink

T84

6,941 posts

196 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
Lord R said:
He is so tight his kids were 8 before they found out the gas meter wasnt a money box
rofl

Edited by T84 on Friday 12th November 22:59

thesyn

540 posts

183 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
So tight he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss!

HOGEPH

5,249 posts

188 months

Friday 12th November 2010
quotequote all
He's so tight he uses both sides of the toilet paper.

ClintonB

4,721 posts

215 months

Saturday 13th November 2010
quotequote all
So tight he wears tartan trousers by choice.

(I actually have a relly who was that tight & wore such strides, even as an Englishman).