365 days without booze... join me?

[RMDB9]

Blib said:

Thinking about "a whole year" without drinking is not helpful.

Well, take Craig Beck's book. He would ask "and why would one year without booze be such a scary thought? What are you afraid of?"

[Stevil]

We're not saying you're wrong, it may be that for some people they need a cold-hard slap and a good shaking to realise what's wrong, but there's ways and means of getting that point across in the manner of the thread. Much like a Doctor with zero bedside manner could break some news to you and say "You've got cancer, it's fking bad and you'll be dead in 2 months" as opposed to his colleague who might break it more gently and offer guidance and support that they know has worked for others. Both approaches lead to the same point but one is much easier to deal with.

[EddieSteadyGo]

RMDB9 said:

And, just to clarify, I am speaking from my own experience. I have been through it.

If you have been "through it", maybe you can answer this question; would you have found a sanctimonious prat lecturing you on the internet to be a helpful influence?

If you have personal experience on this topic, one might have expected a little more empathy.

[RMDB9]

EddieSteadyGo said:

If you have been "through it", maybe you can answer this question; would you have found a sanctimonious prat lecturing you on the internet to be a helpful influence?

Yes. And that is why I bought his book. Which does not sugarcoat anything at all.

[EddieSteadyGo]

RMDB9 said:

EddieSteadyGo said:

If you have been "through it", maybe you can answer this question; would you have found a sanctimonious prat lecturing you on the internet to be a helpful influence?

Yes. And that is why I bought his book. Which does not sugarcoat anything at all.

You bought a book by a sanctimonious prat and you found it to be a helpful influence? Good for you!

Being serious for a moment, this thread isn't only for alcoholics - many people benefit from sharing their thoughts and experiences. And not everyone is at the point of accepting they have a problem with their relationship with alcohol. And I'm sure you would know, someone on the internet pointing out the obvious isn't necessarily helpful, even if it is well intended.

[Shaw Tarse]

RMDB9 said:

EddieSteadyGo said:

If you have been "through it", maybe you can answer this question; would you have found a sanctimonious prat lecturing you on the internet to be a helpful influence?

Yes. And that is why I bought his book. Which does not sugarcoat anything at all.

There are different approaches to the "solution"
Most people on this thread are trying to offer encouragement,

[Blib]

RMDB9 said:

Blib said:

Thinking about "a whole year" without drinking is not helpful.

Well, take Craig Beck's book. He would ask "and why would one year without booze be such a scary thought? What are you afraid of?"

I'm an addiction psychotherapist, I've dealt with thousands of addicts over many, many years.

Mr Beck is correct, to a point. However, his view is useful slightly further down the recovery timeline. It is not helpful in the first days/weeks of recovery, in my opinion.

Yes, addiction is a very complicated issue. Dependence is often an identifier of other, deeper problems.

In early recovery, taking "one day at a time" is EXTREMELY helpful to the overwhelming majority. Sometimes one hour, or even one minute at a time may be necessary.

I would suggest to you that your posts on this thread, sincere as they undoubtedly are, may not be as helpful to others as you intend.

Having said that, I would add that I admire you heartfelt posts on this thread.

[Zirconia]

I found there were those moments where you were thinking the next few minutes, bad news, very stressful situations. At those points I was getting to the next minute or end of day and sleeping before hitting the hotel bar or cadging a fag.

[Fatlad1973]

So I have done my dry four weeks without a problem and the plan had been to start a rigorous regime of having a couple of pints without that triggering a binge. Perfect opportunity this afternoon to have a cheeky beer after a round of golf, but I ordered a Becks Blue instead. And enjoyed it.

I don't like the idea of not drinking again, or even of not getting drunk again. But just for now I am comfortable with fake booze: Boston Special Effects, Adnams Ghost Ship, Nanny State or the old Becks Blue. I'm not sure if I will keep this up, or for how long, but fundamentally my life hasn't been worse without booze over the last four weeks.

[Davey S2]

About 3 months now for me (can't remember exactly when I stopped) and not missing it at all.

At the point now when I don't even think about it. I have had dreams that I've had a few drinks though, had the same thing when I gave up smoking years ago.

[Stevil]

Fatlad1973 said:

So I have done my dry four weeks without a problem and the plan had been to start a rigorous regime of having a couple of pints without that triggering a binge. Perfect opportunity this afternoon to have a cheeky beer after a round of golf, but I ordered a Becks Blue instead. And enjoyed it.

I don't like the idea of not drinking again, or even of not getting drunk again. But just for now I am comfortable with fake booze: Boston Special Effects, Adnams Ghost Ship, Nanny State or the old Becks Blue. I'm not sure if I will keep this up, or for how long, but fundamentally my life hasn't been worse without booze over the last four weeks.

Why don't you like the idea of not drinking or bring drunk again? For me I really thought I'd miss the taste and would be missing out on something but the longer it goes the less I'm bothered. Occasionally will see someone drinking a glass of red wine or whisky on TV and think I'd love one of those, then realise the idea of it is much better than reality as I only would ever really enjoy the first glass and then would keep drinking for the sake of it, plus there's no associated hangover or anything like that.

[Roguexcess]

What happens when you try and control your addictions then realise you actually got nowhere and without a coping mechanism u end up taking backward steps towards your goals?

What do you do next when you try your hardest and just make things worst?

What do you do when the desire to evolve is lost and a "normal" or "happy" life seems hopeless

[Blib]

@ Roguexcess.

Then you can reach out for support. Either from a professional, or from groups, such as 'Start to Stop' or Alcoholics Anonymous.

Never ever forget that you need not have to fight your battle alone. Help is out there.

Even in these times AA has many, many Zoom meetings. Log on to one, tell them you're a Newcomer and they will look after you.

The very best time to start to get well again is when you admit to yourself that you can't carry on doing the same old same old, expecting different results.

Edited by Blib on Wednesday 3rd June 14:41

[thatsprettyshady]

Hi everyone, just to let everyone know I'm still hanging in there, posted earlier this year that I'd stopped on 1st Jan and thankfully not had a drink since! to anyone else who's a little newer, it gets easier as time goes on

[K12beano]

thatsprettyshady said:

Hi everyone, just to let everyone know I'm still hanging in there, posted earlier this year that I'd stopped on 1st Jan and thankfully not had a drink since! to anyone else who's a little newer, it gets easier as time goes on

It *does* get easier, to the point that you’ve formed a new habit. But I have particular respect for anyone that’s starting this year with all the additional stresses we have come under. I’m passed twenty months now, with a very thankful but surprising finding that I’ve not been too much plagued with thoughts that a drink might be “nice”. Two years ago would have been a different matter in the “everything-going-to-st-can’t-wait-to-have-a-drink” sort of way.

So well done everyone out there, but thoughts with anyone who is struggling. Tough times!

[Roguexcess]

Blib said:

@ Roguexcess.

The very best time to start to get well again is when you admit to yourself that you can't carry on doing the same old same old, expecting different results.

Edited by Blib on Wednesday 3rd June 14:41

This line stuck with me - thanks for your post

[500 Miles]

Not as many as others, however, I’m now on my 103rd day..

It is surprising that drinking really is a habit.. that probably sounds a bit stupid.. I mean I think by not drinking for so long, I can now see that it just became a ritual to start drinking. Other than the first couple of weeks, I haven’t really missed it. The other half keeps asking if I’m having a drink with her but I’m just not feeling the need.

It will be more difficult when the pubs open and I’m able to catchup with friends, although at that point I may just decide to only drink when I go out occasionally.. or may just continue to not drink.. who knows! .

I think I’m probably in the mindset that I should miss it but I’m not... if that makes sense.

[Zirconia]

^^
Early days, pubs were tricky for me, I decided to avoid them even with friends. Work was basically in the pub in the evenings. Now I am sorted I can go in them all day long and not have an alcoholic drink.

Fortunately, when I was working a lot away from home, usually Billy no mates so sticking to the h20 was easy, restaurant bills got cheaper as well, which had a bonus in a way, meaning more expensive meals with no booze on them to face the scrutiny of the expense team.

[Esceptico]

Coming up to 6 months and just got through my birthday without drinking alcohol. Not sure I’ve managed that since I was 13 or 14!

Was much easy that anticipated. Here in NZ restaurants and bars are open and we went out with friends the day before and on the day with my wife and daughter.

Now that I am used to not drinking it is fine. My best friend is a Muslim and I used to wonder how he survived in UK culture (with lots of non-Muslim friends and acquaintances) without drinking but now understand that it can be done.

[Bathroom_Security]

Just shy of 6 months in

I may celebrate with an actual real beer.