365 days without booze... join me?
Discussion
Good luck the new folks. When I started, I said a month. In my mind I wanted longer, but I publicly stated a month because it was easier to explain, justify etc. and deferred a lot of potential negativity. A month's detox is very "in" whereas stopping forever is terrifying to other's who can't comprehend it for whatever reasons, well covered above.
Then it was three months, because I felt great. Then six. Then a year. By the time I got to a year, I'd got rid of the naysayers, either by riding out the consternation until it got boring for them, or by simply deciding I didn't need the sort of person they were in my social life (harder with family, granted, but I'm lucky there).
That was 2012. Time flies. 100% worth it, whether you go for a month, 3 months or forever. It's a good experience to undertake and far from easy, but the upside is absolutely huge. Age 30 was a low point - physically a mess, unfit, fat, performing adequately at work and no more. Aged 40 I was the fittest I'd ever been, 15kg lighter, better job, more motivated, mentally fresher and stronger.
Then it was three months, because I felt great. Then six. Then a year. By the time I got to a year, I'd got rid of the naysayers, either by riding out the consternation until it got boring for them, or by simply deciding I didn't need the sort of person they were in my social life (harder with family, granted, but I'm lucky there).
That was 2012. Time flies. 100% worth it, whether you go for a month, 3 months or forever. It's a good experience to undertake and far from easy, but the upside is absolutely huge. Age 30 was a low point - physically a mess, unfit, fat, performing adequately at work and no more. Aged 40 I was the fittest I'd ever been, 15kg lighter, better job, more motivated, mentally fresher and stronger.
Smitters said:
Good luck the new folks. When I started, I said a month. In my mind I wanted longer, but I publicly stated a month because it was easier to explain, justify etc. and deferred a lot of potential negativity. A month's detox is very "in" whereas stopping forever is terrifying to other's who can't comprehend it for whatever reasons, well covered above.
Then it was three months, because I felt great. Then six. Then a year. By the time I got to a year, I'd got rid of the naysayers, either by riding out the consternation until it got boring for them, or by simply deciding I didn't need the sort of person they were in my social life (harder with family, granted, but I'm lucky there).
That was 2012. Time flies. 100% worth it, whether you go for a month, 3 months or forever. It's a good experience to undertake and far from easy, but the upside is absolutely huge. Age 30 was a low point - physically a mess, unfit, fat, performing adequately at work and no more. Aged 40 I was the fittest I'd ever been, 15kg lighter, better job, more motivated, mentally fresher and stronger.
That's fantastic to hear! I was 17 Stone at my peak and am now 14st and have never felt better either at 46 yrs old. Exercise is enjoyable, I don't crave crap food (used to eat nothing but rubbish but wouldn't admit it) I don't wake up with the fear, never ever do or say anything I'll regret the list goes on and on and on.Then it was three months, because I felt great. Then six. Then a year. By the time I got to a year, I'd got rid of the naysayers, either by riding out the consternation until it got boring for them, or by simply deciding I didn't need the sort of person they were in my social life (harder with family, granted, but I'm lucky there).
That was 2012. Time flies. 100% worth it, whether you go for a month, 3 months or forever. It's a good experience to undertake and far from easy, but the upside is absolutely huge. Age 30 was a low point - physically a mess, unfit, fat, performing adequately at work and no more. Aged 40 I was the fittest I'd ever been, 15kg lighter, better job, more motivated, mentally fresher and stronger.
Congratulations, it's by no means easy so well done.
Smitters said:
Good luck the new folks. When I started, I said a month. In my mind I wanted longer, but I publicly stated a month because it was easier to explain, justify etc. and deferred a lot of potential negativity. A month's detox is very "in" whereas stopping forever is terrifying to other's who can't comprehend it for whatever reasons, well covered above.
Then it was three months, because I felt great. Then six. Then a year. By the time I got to a year, I'd got rid of the naysayers, either by riding out the consternation until it got boring for them, or by simply deciding I didn't need the sort of person they were in my social life (harder with family, granted, but I'm lucky there).
That was 2012. Time flies. 100% worth it, whether you go for a month, 3 months or forever. It's a good experience to undertake and far from easy, but the upside is absolutely huge. Age 30 was a low point - physically a mess, unfit, fat, performing adequately at work and no more. Aged 40 I was the fittest I'd ever been, 15kg lighter, better job, more motivated, mentally fresher and stronger.
This is inspirational. Exactly how I feel and great to hear it’s been so worth it in the end. Then it was three months, because I felt great. Then six. Then a year. By the time I got to a year, I'd got rid of the naysayers, either by riding out the consternation until it got boring for them, or by simply deciding I didn't need the sort of person they were in my social life (harder with family, granted, but I'm lucky there).
That was 2012. Time flies. 100% worth it, whether you go for a month, 3 months or forever. It's a good experience to undertake and far from easy, but the upside is absolutely huge. Age 30 was a low point - physically a mess, unfit, fat, performing adequately at work and no more. Aged 40 I was the fittest I'd ever been, 15kg lighter, better job, more motivated, mentally fresher and stronger.
About 18 months for me now.
I very rarely get an urge to drink alcohol anymore. Now hard to comprehend how it became such a big part of my life. Not that I was an alcoholic. Just someone who abused it like large numbers of people in the UK.
Two other positives: although my wife hasn’t quit drinking she has reduced her intake massively. She now drinks the same in a month as she used to do in a weekend. My daughter also teetotal. Most of her friends at school are already getting drunk at weekends. Helps keep me on the straight and narrow too as I know me giving up influenced her.
I very rarely get an urge to drink alcohol anymore. Now hard to comprehend how it became such a big part of my life. Not that I was an alcoholic. Just someone who abused it like large numbers of people in the UK.
Two other positives: although my wife hasn’t quit drinking she has reduced her intake massively. She now drinks the same in a month as she used to do in a weekend. My daughter also teetotal. Most of her friends at school are already getting drunk at weekends. Helps keep me on the straight and narrow too as I know me giving up influenced her.
Esceptico said:
About 18 months for me now.
I very rarely get an urge to drink alcohol anymore. Now hard to comprehend how it became such a big part of my life. Not that I was an alcoholic. Just someone who abused it like large numbers of people in the UK.
Two other positives: although my wife hasn’t quit drinking she has reduced her intake massively. She now drinks the same in a month as she used to do in a weekend. My daughter also teetotal. Most of her friends at school are already getting drunk at weekends. Helps keep me on the straight and narrow too as I know me giving up influenced her.
This strikes a chord with me. My wife doesn’t drink as it simply doesn’t agree with her but my 13 year old daughter has seen everything that’s gone on and seems to have made her mind up that it can easily get out hand. I don’t want to deny her having a social drink with her mates or even getting stuck in once in a while when she is appropriately aged but I like to think she will be able to spot if and when it becomes too much. I very rarely get an urge to drink alcohol anymore. Now hard to comprehend how it became such a big part of my life. Not that I was an alcoholic. Just someone who abused it like large numbers of people in the UK.
Two other positives: although my wife hasn’t quit drinking she has reduced her intake massively. She now drinks the same in a month as she used to do in a weekend. My daughter also teetotal. Most of her friends at school are already getting drunk at weekends. Helps keep me on the straight and narrow too as I know me giving up influenced her.
Well done on the 18 months.
This was my first post below in this thread on the 8th of Jan 2019. Still not saying forever, and I no longer have 'targets' but 2 1/2 years on, I have no desire to go back to that life! Good luck to anyone starting out. Take it one day at a time, and you will be surprised.
"Day 8 here. Habitual drinker over the years that gradually crept up to everyday evening drinking of approx 80ish units per week. Functioning, I believe the correct term! Mid 40s now and have known for a fair few years, to be honest, that it needed to change. Moderation does not work (for me) no matter how good the intention so I have chosen to quit. 30 years - it's been a good run, but it is now taking more than it gives so time for the next chapter, and this is quite exciting. I have read so many books etc, to help my chances of success and the one that really struck a chord personally was Alcohol Explained by William Porter. His website has the first 5 chapters available to read if you want to have a look. How do I feel on day 8? Pretty good today, actually. It's been tough in parts, and I have no doubt that this will not be easy, but I am one week in, and I never thought I would say that. Next target 30 days, then 100. Forever is a big word!"
"Day 8 here. Habitual drinker over the years that gradually crept up to everyday evening drinking of approx 80ish units per week. Functioning, I believe the correct term! Mid 40s now and have known for a fair few years, to be honest, that it needed to change. Moderation does not work (for me) no matter how good the intention so I have chosen to quit. 30 years - it's been a good run, but it is now taking more than it gives so time for the next chapter, and this is quite exciting. I have read so many books etc, to help my chances of success and the one that really struck a chord personally was Alcohol Explained by William Porter. His website has the first 5 chapters available to read if you want to have a look. How do I feel on day 8? Pretty good today, actually. It's been tough in parts, and I have no doubt that this will not be easy, but I am one week in, and I never thought I would say that. Next target 30 days, then 100. Forever is a big word!"
about 18 months for me now
I am working some rotten night shifts currently (not my normal thing, have to migrate some IT networks) and I think 3 years ago I'd of been getting through a couple of bottles of whiskey or gin, beers, whatever, in the space of a few weeks to get myself to sleep after a shift.
Its been tough, and will continue for the remainder of the summer I think. No desire to go back to drinking as I know full well these sorts of occasions are the ones I really shouldn't drink.
I am working some rotten night shifts currently (not my normal thing, have to migrate some IT networks) and I think 3 years ago I'd of been getting through a couple of bottles of whiskey or gin, beers, whatever, in the space of a few weeks to get myself to sleep after a shift.
Its been tough, and will continue for the remainder of the summer I think. No desire to go back to drinking as I know full well these sorts of occasions are the ones I really shouldn't drink.
6 weeks sober then broke it yesterday and today. Woke up feeling feeling fine and refreshed not sure why I quit in the first place. A deep part of me knows it’s just a coping mechanism but what wrong with that if I feel so good and then can just use substance to mask the negatives and keep going
Roguexcess said:
6 weeks sober then broke it yesterday and today. Woke up feeling feeling fine and refreshed not sure why I quit in the first place. A deep part of me knows it’s just a coping mechanism but what wrong with that if I feel so good and then can just use substance to mask the negatives and keep going
Don’t worry! Learn from it and don’t be hard on yourself (important!) I had plenty of blips and unless you’re harming yourself or others it doesn’t matter one bit.
Roguexcess said:
Thanks, there may be hope after all
There is! It’s really difficult at the start, I struggled as I knew I’d had enough but everyone I know drinks to excess and I kept slipping resulting in feeling absolute despair as I couldn’t understand why I kept doing it. Looking back I wish I wasn’t so hard on myself, we’re human and are experts at making mistakes. If you want to stop just take it day by day (sounds soooo cliche but so true) I realised that I definitely felt better without out and momentum built.
Every single morning waking up sober is a joy. It took me 20 years to realise this so there is no rush!
I’d recommend the books mentioned earlier here and there’s loads online too, I found them invaluable in the early days. You’re not alone!
Good luck.
This is a thread I regularly come back to and I know what causes my drinking.
I feel so stressed working and not enjoying what I do to that the 2/3 hours of an evening with a bottle of wine inside me seems to at least make it all better for a short time until I get up the next day and it all starts again.
Last week having said I wasn’t going to drink for a week I was on the booze every night.
Last night I got home and made sure I ate dinner the second I got home so I wouldn’t booze ( For some reason I don’t like drinking once I’ve eaten) then I went out driving for 2 hours.
I know that if I left work then the habit would turn onto exercise and sleeping well but I’m trapped for another year.
At age 53 I worry about the long term effects of the years of doing it too.
Changing career currently isn’t an option and with remaining school fees I have to keep the ball rolling for a while yet.
I don’t remember my father using alcohol as a way of relaxing so I’m convinced it’s a generation thing.
My job always involved boozy nights out lots with clients so I think it’s how I got into this routine to start with.
Anyhow it’s been many years and the only way I can avoid it is to get home and eat immediately but the relief of being at home and not at work gets me to reach for the bottle.
Anyone else feel the same that their job is what makes them drink just to block it out ?
I am working on getting into another role which I’ve been chasing for some time but that is likely to still be a year off.
It’ll be very much part time and outdoors for some of it.
I feel so stressed working and not enjoying what I do to that the 2/3 hours of an evening with a bottle of wine inside me seems to at least make it all better for a short time until I get up the next day and it all starts again.
Last week having said I wasn’t going to drink for a week I was on the booze every night.
Last night I got home and made sure I ate dinner the second I got home so I wouldn’t booze ( For some reason I don’t like drinking once I’ve eaten) then I went out driving for 2 hours.
I know that if I left work then the habit would turn onto exercise and sleeping well but I’m trapped for another year.
At age 53 I worry about the long term effects of the years of doing it too.
Changing career currently isn’t an option and with remaining school fees I have to keep the ball rolling for a while yet.
I don’t remember my father using alcohol as a way of relaxing so I’m convinced it’s a generation thing.
My job always involved boozy nights out lots with clients so I think it’s how I got into this routine to start with.
Anyhow it’s been many years and the only way I can avoid it is to get home and eat immediately but the relief of being at home and not at work gets me to reach for the bottle.
Anyone else feel the same that their job is what makes them drink just to block it out ?
I am working on getting into another role which I’ve been chasing for some time but that is likely to still be a year off.
It’ll be very much part time and outdoors for some of it.
GT3Manthey said:
I don’t remember my father using alcohol as a way of relaxing so I’m convinced it’s a generation thing.
...
My job always involved boozy nights out lots with clients so I think it’s how I got into this routine to start with.
...
Anyone else feel the same that their job is what makes them drink just to block it out ?
Snipped to emphasize your own words....
My job always involved boozy nights out lots with clients so I think it’s how I got into this routine to start with.
...
Anyone else feel the same that their job is what makes them drink just to block it out ?
I don't think it's a generation thing. I think it's a job thing. I left a very boozy job to get away from it. I found it impossible to break the routine any other way.
grumbledoak said:
Snipped to emphasize your own words.
I don't think it's a generation thing. I think it's a job thing. I left a very boozy job to get away from it. I found it impossible to break the routine any other way.
Thank you for this. I don't think it's a generation thing. I think it's a job thing. I left a very boozy job to get away from it. I found it impossible to break the routine any other way.
I’m sure the whole work/booze thing has led to the anxiety/depression I now deal with.
The wife says she is right behind me getting out of this situation as soon as I can but then she may just be paying lip service to keep me going.
I feel I need to change my daily routine and surroundings to kick the booze thing into touch so it’s a work in progress
grumbledoak said:
GT3Manthey said:
I don’t remember my father using alcohol as a way of relaxing so I’m convinced it’s a generation thing.
...
My job always involved boozy nights out lots with clients so I think it’s how I got into this routine to start with.
...
Anyone else feel the same that their job is what makes them drink just to block it out ?
Snipped to emphasize your own words....
My job always involved boozy nights out lots with clients so I think it’s how I got into this routine to start with.
...
Anyone else feel the same that their job is what makes them drink just to block it out ?
I don't think it's a generation thing. I think it's a job thing. I left a very boozy job to get away from it. I found it impossible to break the routine any other way.
GT3Manthey said:
Sebo said:
Me too. I used to wear my expense account as a badge of honour, but it was killing me in the end.
May I ask what you did and now do ? I’m a city bod on a trading desk .
Not easy in my 50’a to go find something that pays well and totally new field
Happy to speak offline in more detail if helpful
Sebo said:
Was client facing (eTrading sales) on a trading floor but not premiership footballer money. Moved to a competitor to work on the product side for more money and a less toxic culture (it was actively encouraged to be out all hours with clients as long as you could be at your desk for 7am).
Happy to speak offline in more detail if helpful
PM sent Happy to speak offline in more detail if helpful
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff