365 days without booze... join me?

[ASA569]

Thanks all for your kind comments. I have to admit the motivation for weight loss was helped because it's also been a distraction from other issues. Truth is it's just been another thing to beat myself up about except this time it's having a positive effect on my life.

One day I'll work out why I can't just relax and accept myself as I am but I suspect therapy is going to be required first

Anyway, for all those starting starting out on the no-booze journey, good luck as it makes a huge difference once you manage it. As above, waking up with a clear head in the morning is amazing. And getting out on the road when most people are still asleep is great fun - especially when you don't even have to think about if you are still over the limit or not.

[Sebo]

Anyone had any mental health issues (anxiety / depression) after giving up drinking?

Is it to be expected if the only treatment for a crazy head has been to douse it in booze for years and then take that away and then to be left with the same bonkers head, but with no way to shut it up?

[Blib]

Sebo said:

Anyone had any mental health issues (anxiety / depression) after giving up drinking?

Is it to be expected if the only treatment for a crazy head has been to douse it in booze for years and then take that away and then to be left with the same bonkers head, but with no way to shut it up?

This is absolutely normal in many people who stop drinking (and using in other ways).

The bottle is just a symptom of the distress. As you say, alcohol covers up the underlying issue. But, it is a cruel mistress.

However, there are ways to shut it up. Indeed some of the ways - those I subscribed to in my practice - don't even attempt to shut the "bonkers head" up.

Often, it's simpler and more effective to just accept the current bonkersness and allow it to pass.

All thoughts and feelings pass. It's just that when under stress, we allow and encourage some of the more debilitating ones to hang around for longer than is necessary.

As in many of my replies, I suggest therapeutic support. Either through professionals, online or with self help groups, such as Start to Stop or Alcoholics Anonymous. Find what works for you, stick with it for six months and then reassess where your "bonkers head" is.

Finally, with some work, you will realise that your thoughts do NOT control you. You can live and thrive with the negativity. After all, that is part of what it is to be human.

[Sebo]

Thanks Blib - I think I am in a glut of massive resentment of the need to work at it on a daily basis in order to maintain sobriety. I like to make things out to be harder than they really are and tell myself that I'm different and no-one else has to work this hard just to remain sober.

3 years in, I thought it would get easier than it is.. (in the cold light of day, it's not really that hard... I am just p*ssed off that the drink stopped working for me and the consequences of it got too great)

[Joscal]

Really well done all. Meditation is worth a shot for an overactive mind, Headspace or Calm apps are great and free to try (up to a point!)

There are loads of free ones on YouTube but the adverts get in the way if you don’t pay unfortunately.

[Blib]

Sebo said:

Thanks Blib - I think I am in a glut of massive resentment of the need to work at it on a daily basis in order to maintain sobriety. I like to make things out to be harder than they really are and tell myself that I'm different and no-one else has to work this hard just to remain sober.

3 years in, I thought it would get easier than it is.. (in the cold light of day, it's not really that hard... I am just p*ssed off that the drink stopped working for me and the consequences of it got too great)

Some in AA would suggest that many individuals remain quite nuts for about the first 5 years of sobriety. So, you're on the right track, timing wise!

Stick at it, one day at a time, look at getting some extra support, post your experience on this thread and don't pick up a drink.

In time, all will be well..

[MortyC137]

Yes, I had major issues with my head when I stopped drinking. I think I understand it now.

Two different scenarios that need an honest approach:

1) Am I drinking to self-medicate my very genuine mental health issues? (Does my alcohol habit relieve my anxiety and depression in the short term by stealing some happiness from tomorrow?)

or

2) Am I suffering mental health issues because of my drinking? (Am I just paying back my happiness overdraft from excessive borrowing?)


A GP (or whichever service they refer you to) will probably initially treat you as if 2 (and only 2) is true, because 99.9% of the time, for the 99.9% of people they see, that's probably the case. However if you are genuinely self-medicating mental health issues with alcohol, you need to treat your head at the same time as treating the alcoholism, or things could get worse for you, not better.

It's a tricky issue, because I didn't even know I was in category 1 until I took away the alcohol (with help) and things got a lot, lot worse in my head. I started having full-blown panic attacks in public, waaaay more extreme than the anxiety I was self-medicating for with alcohol. Treating that (with therapy and medication) was a revelation, because suddenly there was no reason to drink any more, which meant I didn't really have a problem with alcohol any more, and could easily come off the anti-craving meds and end the alcohol services appointments. I I still stay off booze, because I don't want to end up in category 2, but it wasn't my biggest problem, just a symptom of it.

Everyone's different, but I like to share my experience when mental health and alcohol issues are mentioned together. The cause and effect are not always the same way round for everyone, so it's worth a good, honest bit of introspection and seeking treatment for both, not assuming one causes the other.

637 happy days, and counting

[Sebo]

MortyC137 said:

Very useful stuff

You have described me to a T. I didn't have panic attacks until I stopped drinking. I have some recollection that I used to get anxious (and drank to relieve it) and remember having dark days (but drank to get through it) but none of them seem as bad as they are, when I get them now. Today, struggled to get out of bed due to anxiety - the literal physical manifestation of anxiety. Palpitations, shortness of breath, very heavy legs, exhaustion. I never had days like that when I was drinking and using.

I've done some work on it today and it's passing slowly and if I continue to do work on it, my experience over the last 3 years tells me it will pass but today has been one of worst in quite a while. A small change though today in that I didn't want to drink to take the pain away but I did take my phone out to call the doctors and ask for some meds but bottled out before placing the call. I still fear being on antidepressants and know that other things like tranquilizers will not be good for me (I've taken them recreationally in the past and it's a slippery slope for me). Doesn't help than my therapist has taken 6 weeks off (we're 4 weeks into her 6 weeks now) and I think I am going a bit mental again.

So rambling over for now..Thank you MortyC for your words, that's the first time I've heard someone describe their experience of what it's like and see myself in it

[Caddyshack]

Re mental health issues. Drinking just kicks the can down the road for another day but it will eventually come home to roost and probably not at a good time whereas not drinking may bring it to a head but at least you are better prepared. Remember you need to start somewhere.

[stargazer30]

Well still on the waggon since may 20th. My third time attempt after reading Allan Carrs book. It seems to have stuck this time as I don’t want to drink anymore.

I do dive down the 0% beer on occasion though! There’s only so much pop and coffee you can drink.

[Joscal]

MortyC137 said:

Yes, I had major issues with my head when I stopped drinking. I think I understand it now.

Two different scenarios that need an honest approach:

1) Am I drinking to self-medicate my very genuine mental health issues? (Does my alcohol habit relieve my anxiety and depression in the short term by stealing some happiness from tomorrow?)

or

2) Am I suffering mental health issues because of my drinking? (Am I just paying back my happiness overdraft from excessive borrowing?)


A GP (or whichever service they refer you to) will probably initially treat you as if 2 (and only 2) is true, because 99.9% of the time, for the 99.9% of people they see, that's probably the case. However if you are genuinely self-medicating mental health issues with alcohol, you need to treat your head at the same time as treating the alcoholism, or things could get worse for you, not better.

It's a tricky issue, because I didn't even know I was in category 1 until I took away the alcohol (with help) and things got a lot, lot worse in my head. I started having full-blown panic attacks in public, waaaay more extreme than the anxiety I was self-medicating for with alcohol. Treating that (with therapy and medication) was a revelation, because suddenly there was no reason to drink any more, which meant I didn't really have a problem with alcohol any more, and could easily come off the anti-craving meds and end the alcohol services appointments. I I still stay off booze, because I don't want to end up in category 2, but it wasn't my biggest problem, just a symptom of it.

Everyone's different, but I like to share my experience when mental health and alcohol issues are mentioned together. The cause and effect are not always the same way round for everyone, so it's worth a good, honest bit of introspection and seeking treatment for both, not assuming one causes the other.

637 happy days, and counting

Congratulations on 637 days! Really interesting points and very useful. Thanks for sharing, this thread really is a great resource.

[zetec]

Day 194 for me.

Work is almost unbearably stressful at the moment, sitting at home in my garden I just cannot switch off/relax

I would normally drink myself stupid to empty my mind and relax. God I want a beer or 6. I know I can't though, I've come this far and some of the best advice I have had is that although the alcohol makes you feel better now, it doesn't make the problems go away.

[GT3Manthey]

zetec said:

Day 194 for me.

Work is almost unbearably stressful at the moment, sitting at home in my garden I just cannot switch off/relax

I would normally drink myself stupid to empty my mind and relax. God I want a beer or 6. I know I can't though, I've come this far and some of the best advice I have had is that although the alcohol makes you feel better now, it doesn't make the problems go away.

To get to 194 days you’ve done bloody amazing and not many can say that stick with it I wish I had your willpower.

I go from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Hoping one day to get a grip but the stress gets to me.

Good luck

[Joscal]

zetec said:

Day 194 for me.

Work is almost unbearably stressful at the moment, sitting at home in my garden I just cannot switch off/relax

I would normally drink myself stupid to empty my mind and relax. God I want a beer or 6. I know I can't though, I've come this far and some of the best advice I have had is that although the alcohol makes you feel better now, it doesn't make the problems go away.

It’s so difficult at times and I know exactly how you feel! I’m sure you know yourself that it will pass and you’ll wake up tomorrow feeling brilliant so stick at it.

It really, really does get easier so keep the faith!!

And really well done 194 days is fantastic going. It’s not easy.

[Sheets Tabuer]

Joscal said:

you’ll wake up tomorrow feeling brilliant so stick at it.

I'd wager not a single person on this thread wakes up and says I wish I drank last night, I bet every one of them wakes up and says thank god I didn't drink last night.

[Joscal]

Sheets Tabuer said:

I'd wager not a single person on this thread wakes up and says I wish I drank last night, I bet every one of them wakes up and says thank god I didn't drink last night.

Definitely. That’s why playing it forward works so well.

[Caddyshack]

stargazer30 said:

Well still on the waggon since may 20th. My third time attempt after reading Allan Carrs book. It seems to have stuck this time as I don’t want to drink anymore.

I do dive down the 0% beer on occasion though! There’s only so much pop and coffee you can drink.

My advice is that when you find something such as that book which convinces you then make sure you read it again when the going is good to cement your thinking or use other books / media to remind you. I often go back and listen to Craig Becks "Alcohol lied to me" as it speaks to my logic / Ego.

[Caddyshack]

GT3Manthey said:

zetec said:

Day 194 for me.

Work is almost unbearably stressful at the moment, sitting at home in my garden I just cannot switch off/relax

I would normally drink myself stupid to empty my mind and relax. God I want a beer or 6. I know I can't though, I've come this far and some of the best advice I have had is that although the alcohol makes you feel better now, it doesn't make the problems go away.

To get to 194 days you’ve done bloody amazing and not many can say that stick with it I wish I had your willpower.

I go from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Hoping one day to get a grip but the stress gets to me.

Good luck

Fighting Alcohol with willpower is the mistake that people often make, will power is not very powerful, you need to change the way you think of aclohol - once you see it as a poison that has been accepted by society and ingrained in our thinking you begin to see it as the disgusting tasting thing that it is...we disliked the taste of alcohol the first time we tried it and it made us ill when we got drink, we had to become accilimatised to it.

Same with the above, not being able to switch off, that is a case where we need to learn to notice stressful thoughts and gently guide ourselves back to an empty mind, it is a skill which is hugely beneficial and yet most people will not take the time or cost of learning mindful techniques....there are thousands of books and courses. My Cousin, Ed Halliwell, has written books and has training courses all the time.

[Blib]

Sheets Tabuer said:

I'd wager not a single person on this thread wakes up and says I wish I drank last night, I bet every one of them wakes up and says thank god I didn't drink last night.

Then think back to your drinking days.

How many times did you "come to" in the morning and swear off alcohol after remembering the carnage of the night before?

Then, within a few hours, a day, a week, a month or even several years, you rationalise the incident(s) away and find a reason to do it all over again. Even though, deep down, there's that thought that things are out of control.

You are sober when you decide to pick up that first drink.

I agree that will power is not nearly enough. However what some in this context describe as will power may, in fact, be acceptance of their situation and a WILLINGNESS to embrace change.

It's usually only when the individual admits the complete defeat of their will power that long term recovery and abstinence can begin.

[ASA569]

zetec said:

Day 194 for me.

Work is almost unbearably stressful at the moment, sitting at home in my garden I just cannot switch off/relax

I would normally drink myself stupid to empty my mind and relax. God I want a beer or 6. I know I can't though, I've come this far and some of the best advice I have had is that although the alcohol makes you feel better now, it doesn't make the problems go away.

Possibly a bit late now to reply but I really hope you managed to stay away from the beer. Take it from someone who's learned, stress at work is a lot easier to deal with when you're not hungover. Alcohol only provides a brief respite and then exacerbates the situation the next morning.

And well done on the 194 days. It's a huge achievement