Weed and the Mind
Discussion
Deliberately posted here rather than in the lounge, as I'm after more facts than the opinions that you might get in the lounge.
Step-son is 15, and on occasions can be hard work. He's had a tough life in some ways, and while his dad is his mate, he is a d
head, and step-son I think, is beginning to realise this. It's hit a bit hard I suspect.
Moving on, he's always pushed boundaries, usually in the first term of the school year. It's a repeated pattern that we've never managed to get to the bottom of. He has boundaries and pushes them constantly. Can't really trust him, and for example we left him to it for an evening having agreed acceptable behaviour to find a greater number of teenagers around, slaughtered from our booze. He's crap at covering up after himself.
Over the past 6 months he's taken up the booze (perhaps normal for a 15 year old, although our view differ on how much is acceptable), and smoking. Very pissed off at the latter, his allowance was stopped and he's on minimal income.
It now transpires that he's smoking weed. This has been coming on for a few weeks, but today has reached blow-up at school.
At home he's not too different, but more lethargic perhaps. At school the teachers are saying that he is completely unpredictable, one minute will be calm the next frustrated and losing it. Some of them are now scared of him. He's struggling to concentrate, can't remember.
The teachers are saying that he comes right into their face. He denies this, but having seen him losing it today, I'm not sure that he's all there when this goes on. He certainly could not remember a conversation seconds before.
My partner was called to pick him up today from school, and went in to see the head. Step-son was called in and she had never seen him like this. Eyes bulging, and heavy panting trying to control himself. They would not let her go until he had calmed down as they were so worried.
So is this the weed or are there other issues at work?
Should add that the school are working with us, and he's been down to the GP today, but it's early doors...
I appreciate that Internet guesses are just that, but a discussion would be helpful.
Step-son is 15, and on occasions can be hard work. He's had a tough life in some ways, and while his dad is his mate, he is a d
head, and step-son I think, is beginning to realise this. It's hit a bit hard I suspect.Moving on, he's always pushed boundaries, usually in the first term of the school year. It's a repeated pattern that we've never managed to get to the bottom of. He has boundaries and pushes them constantly. Can't really trust him, and for example we left him to it for an evening having agreed acceptable behaviour to find a greater number of teenagers around, slaughtered from our booze. He's crap at covering up after himself.
Over the past 6 months he's taken up the booze (perhaps normal for a 15 year old, although our view differ on how much is acceptable), and smoking. Very pissed off at the latter, his allowance was stopped and he's on minimal income.
It now transpires that he's smoking weed. This has been coming on for a few weeks, but today has reached blow-up at school.
At home he's not too different, but more lethargic perhaps. At school the teachers are saying that he is completely unpredictable, one minute will be calm the next frustrated and losing it. Some of them are now scared of him. He's struggling to concentrate, can't remember.
The teachers are saying that he comes right into their face. He denies this, but having seen him losing it today, I'm not sure that he's all there when this goes on. He certainly could not remember a conversation seconds before.
My partner was called to pick him up today from school, and went in to see the head. Step-son was called in and she had never seen him like this. Eyes bulging, and heavy panting trying to control himself. They would not let her go until he had calmed down as they were so worried.
So is this the weed or are there other issues at work?
Should add that the school are working with us, and he's been down to the GP today, but it's early doors...
I appreciate that Internet guesses are just that, but a discussion would be helpful.
surveyor said:
Deliberately posted here rather than in the lounge, as I'm after more facts than the opinions that you might get in the lounge.
Step-son is 15, and on occasions can be hard work. He's had a tough life in some ways, and while his dad is his mate, he is a dhead, and step-son I think, is beginning to realise this. It's hit a bit hard I suspect.
Moving on, he's always pushed boundaries, usually in the first term of the school year. It's a repeated pattern that we've never managed to get to the bottom of. He has boundaries and pushes them constantly. Can't really trust him, and for example we left him to it for an evening having agreed acceptable behaviour to find a greater number of teenagers around, slaughtered from our booze. He's crap at covering up after himself.
Over the past 6 months he's taken up the booze (perhaps normal for a 15 year old, although our view differ on how much is acceptable), and smoking. Very pissed off at the latter, his allowance was stopped and he's on minimal income.
It now transpires that he's smoking weed. This has been coming on for a few weeks, but today has reached blow-up at school.
At home he's not too different, but more lethargic perhaps. At school the teachers are saying that he is completely unpredictable, one minute will be calm the next frustrated and losing it. Some of them are now scared of him. He's struggling to concentrate, can't remember.
The teachers are saying that he comes right into their face. He denies this, but having seen him losing it today, I'm not sure that he's all there when this goes on. He certainly could not remember a conversation seconds before.
My partner was called to pick him up today from school, and went in to see the head. Step-son was called in and she had never seen him like this. Eyes bulging, and heavy panting trying to control himself. They would not let her go until he had calmed down as they were so worried.
So is this the weed or are there other issues at work?
Should add that the school are working with us, and he's been down to the GP today, but it's early doors...
I appreciate that Internet guesses are just that, but a discussion would be helpful.
I am not a parent,but I have had a fair bit to do with pot during my life.Step-son is 15, and on occasions can be hard work. He's had a tough life in some ways, and while his dad is his mate, he is a d
head, and step-son I think, is beginning to realise this. It's hit a bit hard I suspect.Moving on, he's always pushed boundaries, usually in the first term of the school year. It's a repeated pattern that we've never managed to get to the bottom of. He has boundaries and pushes them constantly. Can't really trust him, and for example we left him to it for an evening having agreed acceptable behaviour to find a greater number of teenagers around, slaughtered from our booze. He's crap at covering up after himself.
Over the past 6 months he's taken up the booze (perhaps normal for a 15 year old, although our view differ on how much is acceptable), and smoking. Very pissed off at the latter, his allowance was stopped and he's on minimal income.
It now transpires that he's smoking weed. This has been coming on for a few weeks, but today has reached blow-up at school.
At home he's not too different, but more lethargic perhaps. At school the teachers are saying that he is completely unpredictable, one minute will be calm the next frustrated and losing it. Some of them are now scared of him. He's struggling to concentrate, can't remember.
The teachers are saying that he comes right into their face. He denies this, but having seen him losing it today, I'm not sure that he's all there when this goes on. He certainly could not remember a conversation seconds before.
My partner was called to pick him up today from school, and went in to see the head. Step-son was called in and she had never seen him like this. Eyes bulging, and heavy panting trying to control himself. They would not let her go until he had calmed down as they were so worried.
So is this the weed or are there other issues at work?
Should add that the school are working with us, and he's been down to the GP today, but it's early doors...
I appreciate that Internet guesses are just that, but a discussion would be helpful.
You need to be very careful with the boy: there appears to be no 'halfway house' with marijuana.That is: some people can smoke pot all their lives with no
(visible) side effects others may be susceptible to a sudden increase/start in psychotic behaviour.Long term users are more likely to suffer memory loss,
but most people simply become more 'chilled' and want nothing more than to relax,listen to music etc.There is some evidence to suggest that if a person is
predisposed towards some form of psychosis then pot is a risk factor to exacerbating this condition.
I was undecided whether it would be useful to post, but I thought I would as you are very welcome to ignore what I have to say.
I’m a 27 year old male and smoked some weed & drank at around 17. Got busted, fell out with my parents and so on. The think that moved me on was that I saw qualifications and a career ahead.
With hindsight I was handled well by my parents. They made their disapproval (and more importantly disappointment) clear, however I felt I made it out down a better path by myself.
I don’t know whether you would be able to talk to him in this way, but maybe you being a stepdad could be an advantage rather than a disadvantage in this way?
I’d be concerned by the symptoms you state. Mephedrone is available, cheap, formerly legal and strong from the kind of guys who can sort you out with a bit of weed. I’m not saying that’s it, but at least be aware please.
As I say please feel free to ignore what I say, maybe Google it though.
I’m a 27 year old male and smoked some weed & drank at around 17. Got busted, fell out with my parents and so on. The think that moved me on was that I saw qualifications and a career ahead.
With hindsight I was handled well by my parents. They made their disapproval (and more importantly disappointment) clear, however I felt I made it out down a better path by myself.
I don’t know whether you would be able to talk to him in this way, but maybe you being a stepdad could be an advantage rather than a disadvantage in this way?
I’d be concerned by the symptoms you state. Mephedrone is available, cheap, formerly legal and strong from the kind of guys who can sort you out with a bit of weed. I’m not saying that’s it, but at least be aware please.
As I say please feel free to ignore what I say, maybe Google it though.
I have a 16 yo son, and have had similar issues.
I don't want to go posting on here, but happy to chat through pm with you.
From my experiences, it generally makes people very chilled, laid back and forgetful. But can cause feelings of anxiety, suspicion, panic and paranoia.
Unfortunately it seems to be going on around most schools nowadays, sign of the times!
My son is also good friends with his father who is a complete waste of space!
I don't want to go posting on here, but happy to chat through pm with you.
From my experiences, it generally makes people very chilled, laid back and forgetful. But can cause feelings of anxiety, suspicion, panic and paranoia.
Unfortunately it seems to be going on around most schools nowadays, sign of the times!
My son is also good friends with his father who is a complete waste of space!
He's not into much at the moment. Used to play football but that went by the wayside.
I am looking at the replies, and taking it in, so thanks to people who are contributing.
My partner and has dad split when he was one, so in itself should not be an issue. However they have fought on and off for years after this, which has not helped.
I am looking at the replies, and taking it in, so thanks to people who are contributing.
My partner and has dad split when he was one, so in itself should not be an issue. However they have fought on and off for years after this, which has not helped.
surveyor said:
My partner and has dad split when he was one, so in itself should not be an issue. However they have fought on and off for years after this, which has not helped.
Right. Issues to look at would include how relaxed your partner has been in the parenting business over the years, who provided the discipline and a guiding hand and how he regards you.Was there a lot of fighting in his early years? Children remember a lot even if they can't express or consciously recall it.
The trouble with the weed is it makes you semi detached from the world, Prolonged use is very bad news and can easily result in permanent detachment as a great many families have discovered.
Clearly you are aware that things are going seriously awry with your stepsons life. I have the utmost sympathy. There are no easy answers.
Getting your stepson to see the danger before he is too far gone is critical. I would enlist the support and help of all the family and your Doctor who may well have advice to offer. I would be seeking advice from Social Services and any other organisation who deal with drug addiction. If he is still in education I would be consulting the educators.
Your stepson may not be an addict yet but the danger of progression to harder drugs is a real problem.
There is a lot of support in the care system to assist you. This is not something you should try to keep private or hidden. I has to be faced and faced in the open.
Good Luck to you and your family with this problem.
Every parent will understand the sheer terror such a problem brings. Try to face it together with your family. Support together is what you need.
Clearly you are aware that things are going seriously awry with your stepsons life. I have the utmost sympathy. There are no easy answers.
Getting your stepson to see the danger before he is too far gone is critical. I would enlist the support and help of all the family and your Doctor who may well have advice to offer. I would be seeking advice from Social Services and any other organisation who deal with drug addiction. If he is still in education I would be consulting the educators.
Your stepson may not be an addict yet but the danger of progression to harder drugs is a real problem.
There is a lot of support in the care system to assist you. This is not something you should try to keep private or hidden. I has to be faced and faced in the open.
Good Luck to you and your family with this problem.
Every parent will understand the sheer terror such a problem brings. Try to face it together with your family. Support together is what you need.
As above, I only post my own experience and I'm not saying this is relevant.
I'd say the worst thing my parents could have done would be to get doctors involved and brand me a 'druggie' (what they started to do at first).
For me, looking back at it, it was 50% being 'cool' and 50% the fact that friends were doing it. It really wasn't anything to do with the weed itself, or any addiction. I still remember buying a bloody big bag of expensive skunk and using all my money up very reluctantly because the mates I was with did the same, only to chuck most of it away. What an idiot!
You need to assess whether your stepson is the same or if it's more serious. I don't mean to imply it's not.
My relationship with my dad changed at that time. He invited me to go and watch him play acoustic guitar and got me an illegal pint. We went karting. We went running together. I still take him to see films at the cinema. We pop out and grab a sneaky beer without telling my mother in the daytime.
Perhaps It would help to take him to see a film, or to go on holiday together. Perhaps a young person's driving experience that you could both get involved in.
For me personally, criticism at that age made me resent my parents and distanced me from them. My relationship changed when I found common interests with my dad (and I can now see that this was deliberate 'parenting').
Edit: I agree with Steffan about the terror it must cause you as a parent. Smoking weed is not Heroin abuse and might be resolved easily or could be a result of a desire for attention. I'd ask you to be careful before upsetting every aspect of his life. It might be that allowing an easy path back to schoolwork and forgetting the weed thing could work.
Only my experience and views and I don't claim this has any relevance.
I'd say the worst thing my parents could have done would be to get doctors involved and brand me a 'druggie' (what they started to do at first).
For me, looking back at it, it was 50% being 'cool' and 50% the fact that friends were doing it. It really wasn't anything to do with the weed itself, or any addiction. I still remember buying a bloody big bag of expensive skunk and using all my money up very reluctantly because the mates I was with did the same, only to chuck most of it away. What an idiot!
You need to assess whether your stepson is the same or if it's more serious. I don't mean to imply it's not.
My relationship with my dad changed at that time. He invited me to go and watch him play acoustic guitar and got me an illegal pint. We went karting. We went running together. I still take him to see films at the cinema. We pop out and grab a sneaky beer without telling my mother in the daytime.
Perhaps It would help to take him to see a film, or to go on holiday together. Perhaps a young person's driving experience that you could both get involved in.
For me personally, criticism at that age made me resent my parents and distanced me from them. My relationship changed when I found common interests with my dad (and I can now see that this was deliberate 'parenting').
Edit: I agree with Steffan about the terror it must cause you as a parent. Smoking weed is not Heroin abuse and might be resolved easily or could be a result of a desire for attention. I'd ask you to be careful before upsetting every aspect of his life. It might be that allowing an easy path back to schoolwork and forgetting the weed thing could work.
Only my experience and views and I don't claim this has any relevance.
Edited by 0a on Saturday 26th November 16:47
0a said:
As above, I only post my own experience and I'm not saying this is relevant.
I'd say the worst thing my parents could have done would be to get doctors involved and brand me a 'druggie' (what they started to do at first).
For me, looking back at it, it was 50% being 'cool' and 50% the fact that friends were doing it. It really wasn't anything to do with the weed itself, or any addiction. I still remember buying a bloody big bag of expensive skunk and using all my money up very reluctantly because the mates I was with did the same, only to chuck most of it away. What an idiot!
You need to assess whether your stepson is the same or if it's more serious. I don't mean to imply it's not.
My relationship with my dad changed at that time. He invited me to go and watch him play acoustic guitar and got me an illegal pint. We went karting. We went running together. I still take him to see films at the cinema. We pop out and grab a sneaky beer without telling my mother in the daytime.
Perhaps It would help to take him to see a film, or to go on holiday together. Perhaps a young person's driving experience that you could both get involved in.
For me personally, criticism at that age made me resent my parents and distanced me from them. My relationship changed when I found common interests with my dad (and I can now see that this was deliberate 'parenting').
Edit: I agree with Steffan about the terror it must cause you as a parent. Smoking weed is not Heroin abuse and might be resolved easily or could be a result of a desire for attention. I'd ask you to be careful before upsetting every aspect of his life. It might be that allowing an easy path back to schoolwork and forgetting the weed thing could work.
Only my experience and views and I don't claim this has any relevance.
You obviously have personal experience at the sharp end. Clearly the OP should weigh up you advice based on the fact it worked for you. Good post.I'd say the worst thing my parents could have done would be to get doctors involved and brand me a 'druggie' (what they started to do at first).
For me, looking back at it, it was 50% being 'cool' and 50% the fact that friends were doing it. It really wasn't anything to do with the weed itself, or any addiction. I still remember buying a bloody big bag of expensive skunk and using all my money up very reluctantly because the mates I was with did the same, only to chuck most of it away. What an idiot!
You need to assess whether your stepson is the same or if it's more serious. I don't mean to imply it's not.
My relationship with my dad changed at that time. He invited me to go and watch him play acoustic guitar and got me an illegal pint. We went karting. We went running together. I still take him to see films at the cinema. We pop out and grab a sneaky beer without telling my mother in the daytime.
Perhaps It would help to take him to see a film, or to go on holiday together. Perhaps a young person's driving experience that you could both get involved in.
For me personally, criticism at that age made me resent my parents and distanced me from them. My relationship changed when I found common interests with my dad (and I can now see that this was deliberate 'parenting').
Edit: I agree with Steffan about the terror it must cause you as a parent. Smoking weed is not Heroin abuse and might be resolved easily or could be a result of a desire for attention. I'd ask you to be careful before upsetting every aspect of his life. It might be that allowing an easy path back to schoolwork and forgetting the weed thing could work.
Only my experience and views and I don't claim this has any relevance.
Edited by 0a on Saturday 26th November 16:47
I hope the OP is able to relate the same outcome in a few months. It must be hell living through this as a parent. And of course the user.
Steffan said:
You obviously have personal experience at the sharp end. Clearly the OP should weigh up you advice based on the fact it worked for you. Good post.
I hope the OP is able to relate the same outcome in a few months. It must be hell living through this as a parent. And of course the user.
Only now do I recognise that I must have caused a lot of worry and pain for my parents for what was, for me, a fad. I was unable to see this at the time. To me it seemed like nothing important. I hope the OP is able to relate the same outcome in a few months. It must be hell living through this as a parent. And of course the user.
Edit: perhaps this thread should be entitled "booze and the mind". I don't think it's normal for a 15 year old to have taken up the booze. I had very limited access at that age indeed.
Edited by 0a on Saturday 26th November 17:07
Let's not have our collective heads in the sand here. Yes, weed is not good for the developing mind, but then neither is alcohol!
Both will play a part in exacerbating his depressive tendencies.
Yes, drinking at 15 may be "normal" for some, but that doesn't mean it's harmless in this case.
Think how st you feel the next day after a skinful, then apply that to a kid who is clearly having problems. It won't be helping things WRT to his behaviour during the day at school.
Both will play a part in exacerbating his depressive tendencies.
Yes, drinking at 15 may be "normal" for some, but that doesn't mean it's harmless in this case.
Think how s
t you feel the next day after a skinful, then apply that to a kid who is clearly having problems. It won't be helping things WRT to his behaviour during the day at school.Marf said:
Let's not have our collective heads in the sand here. Yes, weed is not good for the developing mind, but then neither is alcohol!
Both will play a part in exacerbating his depressive tendencies.
Yes, drinking at 15 may be "normal" for some, but that doesn't mean it's harmless in this case.
Think how st you feel the next day after a skinful, then apply that to a kid who is clearly having problems. It won't be helping things WRT to his behaviour during the day at school.
A good post. I'm returning to this thread because the more I think about it the more important this point is.Both will play a part in exacerbating his depressive tendencies.
Yes, drinking at 15 may be "normal" for some, but that doesn't mean it's harmless in this case.
Think how s
t you feel the next day after a skinful, then apply that to a kid who is clearly having problems. It won't be helping things WRT to his behaviour during the day at school.The guys from my school who did weed are generally okay 10 years later.
Out of the few that could booze at 15 there are some that are not. This isn't normal and given I get IDed at 27 getting into a club in the Midlands (where I am now) I'd question how he can booze on a regular basis.
Perhaps the OP meant he occasionally gets drunk in addition to finding the OP's booze, ie only a random occasion.
Again, only my experience.
My concern with the initial post was this: "Eyes bulging, and heavy panting trying to control himself" - doesn't sound like weed to me, sorry.
Edited by 0a on Saturday 26th November 18:22
0a said:
texasjohn said:
Likewise. Some form of stimulant I would guess, and a little too much in one go. Speed perhaps?
Mephedrone if anything. Horrendous, cheap stuff.The OP states the lad wasn't let go until he'd 'calmed himself down',suggesting a degree of self control. BTW neither amphetamine or mephedrone have a side effect of bulging
eyes unless possibly associated psychosis caused by long term abuse.As this was the first time it has happened,that is very unlikely.
goldblum said:
Total conjecture.What are you people talking about? The OP has suggested nothing that might indicate anything other than a teenager about to 'lose it.'
The OP states the lad wasn't let go until he'd 'calmed himself down',suggesting a degree of self control. BTW neither amphetamine or mephedrone have a side effect of bulging
eyes unless possibly associated psychosis caused by long term abuse.As this was the first time it has happened,that is very unlikely.
Alas it isn't conjecture from me. Anyway, this is as far as I go online.The OP states the lad wasn't let go until he'd 'calmed himself down',suggesting a degree of self control. BTW neither amphetamine or mephedrone have a side effect of bulging
eyes unless possibly associated psychosis caused by long term abuse.As this was the first time it has happened,that is very unlikely.
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