Depression

[crazy about cars]

chilistrucker said:

Good luck.

Cheers bud.

edit: Wow, thought I would call again just to see if things are progressing along. Good news is that they've confirmed all documents have been received. Bad news is they can't tell me how long it will take or what the results would likely be. Can't even tell me what my consultant said. It's with medical/senior team to decide but this is the medical team I've called! How useless can a government body be! I am considering contacting solicitors for advice on this. Costing me my job as employer is reaching limits of their patience on this matter.

Edited by crazy about cars on Friday 23 December 11:40

[richtea78]

Sorry to hijack but can I check something?

I take Tramadol and other opioids for my Crohns when it gets really bad but my doctor said it was ok to drive providing it didn't impact my ability to drive. He never said anything about telling the DVLA? I did google it and it seemed to imply it was ok so long as I wasn't stoned off my nut!

To be honest I don't normally drive while I'm taking them as leaving the house is the last thing on my mind.

[xjay1337]

Suffering more lately now.
I have my down days as you would expect.

The problem is that I find social events massively drain me. I am pretty introverted anyway but I do make an effort.
I manage normally as they are few and far between.

But this time of the year is a lot of extra and there's the social pressure of talking and socialsing when I find it hard enough over a small group of 2 or 3 others.
I find myself struggling and withdrawing into the darkness.
It takes me hours after the event has ended to regain a level headed state again but even then I feel on edge.

I've been off the meds for about a year now but I think I may have to start again, knowing it will take a few weeks, it is hard. But I suppose in a few weeks they won't be needed.

I really hate feeling like this. Why won't it just fking go away forever.

[227bhp]

xjay1337 said:

Suffering more lately now.
I have my down days as you would expect.

The problem is that I find social events massively drain me. I am pretty introverted anyway but I do make an effort.
I manage normally as they are few and far between.

But this time of the year is a lot of extra and there's the social pressure of talking and socialsing when I find it hard enough over a small group of 2 or 3 others.
I find myself struggling and withdrawing into the darkness.
It takes me hours after the event has ended to regain a level headed state again but even then I feel on edge.

I've been off the meds for about a year now but I think I may have to start again, knowing it will take a few weeks, it is hard. But I suppose in a few weeks they won't be needed.

I really hate feeling like this. Why won't it just fking go away forever.

Try removing yourself from it, two weeks of hot sun for me.
If you want something to just tide you over for a bit try some St Johns Wort maybe.

[xjay1337]

227bhp said:

Try removing yourself from it, two weeks of hot sun for me.
If you want something to just tide you over for a bit try some St Johns Wort maybe.

It's difficult to get away. I don't have a Passport. (#brexit lol). Maybe sort one in time for next year?!

I've spent nearly every adult Christmas either by myself or just with one or two other people, usually my Dad or last year, the family I lodged with. I only usually socialise in smaller groups and unless I am very very good friends with everyone I rarely hang out with more than 2 or 3 other people at most at any one time.

This year I am with my Mrs and we are having Xmas with her family.
I get on with them and most of the time, I am finenwith it all, there are 6 others, plus a baby, plus my Mrs.
They're all nice people etc. Just that occasionally, sometimes it's a bit much for me to deal with, luckily they have dogs that like me very much so I just play with them for the most part.

For example yesterday we were out at dinner, and it was all very nice and enjoyable but then mid-way through for no real reason I just felt this wave sweeping over me that I could not fight against, the more I tried to keep my head above it the more I seemed to struggle. I just went really quiet and sort of looking into the vauge distance and not joining in any of the conversation.
We went back to My Mrs Dad's house after and I just felt so out of place and awkward I just sat with the dog on my phone browsing FB and PH (when I posted last night).

My Mrs knows about my depression but doesn't know that I feel like that in certain social situations with her family. I don't want to upset her because she is quite precious about her family and I don't want her to think that I don't like them or don't enjoy spending time with them all - Because I do, they're really nice people. And most of the time I'm fine. It's not just her family, I generally feel like that in any larger social group. I'm just not used to it.

The issue is I can't figure out what the trigger is, no-one said anything horrible, we've been away for a week on holiday with them before and it was generally fine (I had one small wobble but apart from that) and it's not like anyone pokes fun at me.

It just seems to come around without any fking reason. Last night I took my Citalopram again, probably too late to help but nevertheless..thought I would start again, and I will book with the GP to see if they can give me anything I can take that has a more immediate effect "as and when"...
Regarding St Johns Wort I will have a look into it. I understand it can mess with medication.

I don't want to be reliant on pills when this last year by and large I've been managing really well without any medicine and keeping a pretty clear head - no self reciprocating negative thoughts or anything.

I feel a lot better this morning, but that is just how the cycle goes in that scenario.

Edited by xjay1337 on Friday 23 December 12:33

[227bhp]

xjay1337 said:

227bhp said:

Try removing yourself from it, two weeks of hot sun for me.
If you want something to just tide you over for a bit try some St Johns Wort maybe.

It's difficult to get away. I don't have a Passport. (#brexit lol). Maybe sort one in time for next year?!

I've spent nearly every adult Christmas either by myself or just with one or two other people, usually my Dad or last year, the family I lodged with. I only usually socialise in smaller groups and unless I am very very good friends with everyone I rarely hang out with more than 2 or 3 other people at most at any one time.

This year I am with my Mrs and we are having Xmas with her family.
I get on with them and most of the time, I am finenwith it all, there are 6 others, plus a baby, plus my Mrs.
They're all nice people etc. Just that occasionally, sometimes it's a bit much for me to deal with, luckily they have dogs that like me very much so I just play with them for the most part.

For example yesterday we were out at dinner, and it was all very nice and enjoyable but then mid-way through for no real reason I just felt this wave sweeping over me that I could not fight against, the more I tried to keep my head above it the more I seemed to struggle. I just went really quiet and sort of looking into the vauge distance and not joining in any of the conversation.
We went back to My Mrs Dad's house after and I just felt so out of place and awkward I just sat with the dog on my phone browsing FB and PH (when I posted last night).

My Mrs knows about my depression but doesn't know that I feel like that in certain social situations with her family. I don't want to upset her because she is quite precious about her family and I don't want her to think that I don't like them or don't enjoy spending time with them all - Because I do, they're really nice people. And most of the time I'm fine. It's not just her family, I generally feel like that in any larger social group. I'm just not used to it.

The issue is I can't figure out what the trigger is, no-one said anything horrible, we've been away for a week on holiday with them before and it was generally fine (I had one small wobble but apart from that) and it's not like anyone pokes fun at me.

It just seems to come around without any fking reason. Last night I took my Citalopram again, probably too late to help but nevertheless..thought I would start again, and I will book with the GP to see if they can give me anything I can take that has a more immediate effect "as and when"...
Regarding St Johns Wort I will have a look into it. I understand it can mess with medication.

I don't want to be reliant on pills when this last year by and large I've been managing really well without any medicine and keeping a pretty clear head - no self reciprocating negative thoughts or anything.

I feel a lot better this morning, but that is just how the cycle goes in that scenario.

Edited by xjay1337 on Friday 23 December 12:33

You seem to have given it some good methodical thought, but not come up with an answer. It needs stripping back to its bare bones to find out what is the cause and building back a different way or work arounds (patches if you like) put in place. I build race engines so i'd find some similarities in there, if you're into computers then you can look at it like that.
Do you think we are talking about 2 different things here? On the one hand you mention depression, but then on the other some kind of social anxiety, or is one causing the other? That bit isn't clear.

No don't mix SJW with any other meds, I just mentioned it as it can be bought easily and may have been the thing just to see you over the next couple of weeks, even if it was just placebo which does come into play quite often with affairs of the mind.
I haven't touched ADs in years and don't intend to, i've learned about myself and how to avoid drifting off into that dark place for too long.

One thing though, you mentioned Christmas on your own, did you prefer that, or were you happy with it? That's somewhere to start. What would the perfect Christmas/NY period be for you?

I don't socialise well either, but it's more a case of I don't do small talk, don't see the sense in it. I can converse fluently with someone on a topic i'm versed in, but aside from that I flounder.

You need to be careful you don't talk yourself into being something you read online though, be wary of that pitfall.

You made references to dogs up there, I don't know if it were possible, but if it were me i'd have asked for the lead and gone for a walk. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, if it's what you need DO IT. You have to be in the right place mentally to be of any use, if you're not you might aswell sit at home on your own. You can't have it all your own way either otherwise she's gonna be packing her bags so compromise must be met. You do know you're going to have to tell her? What she does with the info well we don't know, but she needs to know. She might say 'Yeah I noticed you looked a bit odd' She might surprise you and say she didn't notice a thing, read into that what you will.

I accompany her to the more important events, other stuff she can go on her own or not at all, I do feel a bit guilty about this as she likes me by her side, but it's compromise. I have a good get-out clause though as she is religious and i'm not, there is no way i'm getting dragged along to that kind of gubbins.

If you don't work it out yourself then book an appointment with a Psychologist/Counsellor, have a chat, see what you think, they are the ones with the skills to unpick what is all wrapped up in there and suggest a way forward.

Edited by 227bhp on Friday 23 December 23:18

[xjay1337]

I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I suppose this is more anxiety than a depression, but after the anxiety i have the same feeling of depression until it sort of levels out.

I don't like small talk much either, so we are similar in that regard. Im not very good at it lol.

My ideal Christmas would he say a total of 3 or 4 of us. I have a small family, since 13 or 14 I've never really had a big Christmas gathering, I grew accustomed to it being just me and my mum, her partner and maybe my Grandad

3 or 4 people I can deal with but sometimes it gets a bit much after that. But like you say some compromise is needed.
Its nothing at all to do with her family, they are all very close and my family life is very different, being in we don't really have one. So I'm not used to this sort of thing.

My mrs is great. She could tell something was wrong, because I was quiet and my general mannerisms, I spoke with her last night and she said she would feel the same if it was reversed because we spend a fair chunk of time round there, thats just what they do and if she was in my position she would also feel uncomfortable.

She said that if I needed to get out of there or something then just to make my excuses and go and she wouldn't be offended or anything and would understand.

I will need to look for more answers I think before I book a shrink lol. I won't go self diagnosing or looking on the internet. I hate that crap, people catch Tumblr-itus all too often!

Thanks for listening and the suggestions and feedback mate. Have a good Christmas.

[227bhp]

Well there you go, you got the green light; take the dog and get yourself out for a bit from those situations.
Finding out about yourself and why you are that way is the first step, don't be afraid of visiting someone who can help you out. If chatting to me has helped a bit imagine what a few sessions with a Pro can do.

Thanks and enjoy your Christmas too, 35 deg here and apart from scorching my head a bit it's just what the Dr ordered

[Alex_225]

Just been having a quick read through this thread and actually had a question.

My other half was diagnosed with clinical depression in her teens and has had various stints on anti depressants. She was on them for the first 18 months of us being together but has got herself off them and intends on staying off them. Fortunately she hasn't had a bought of feeling extremely low since we have got together, I put that down to perhaps having companionship which she hadn't before.

She is the first long term relationship I have had with someone diagnosed with depression so I have read what I can and try not to be ignorant to the illness.

Thing is there are times when she is seriously irrational, there'll be an argument which will escalate and no amount of explaining or logic can get through. Although these types arguments are few and far between they can be be seriously testing.

I did a bit of looking into irrational behaviour and it indicated that anxiety can be a cause of this, reading further she does tick a fair few boxes although Google is far from being any kind of expert.

I just wondered if anxiety can go in hand with depression?

[andy-xr]

Yes.

But (there's always a but) I found when I dated someone who had depression and BPD and harsh as it sounds, sometimes people are just aholes because they're in a bad mood, it doesnt always need to be blamed/associated/pinned to anxiety/depression/other illness. It's easy to excuse behaviour that can go beyond a boundary and it's something you as a partner should be aware of, that you're not sacrificing your needs in a relationship.

[xjay1337]

Alex_225 said:

Just been having a quick read through this thread and actually had a question.

My other half was diagnosed with clinical depression in her teens and has had various stints on anti depressants. She was on them for the first 18 months of us being together but has got herself off them and intends on staying off them. Fortunately she hasn't had a bought of feeling extremely low since we have got together, I put that down to perhaps having companionship which she hadn't before.

She is the first long term relationship I have had with someone diagnosed with depression so I have read what I can and try not to be ignorant to the illness.

Thing is there are times when she is seriously irrational, there'll be an argument which will escalate and no amount of explaining or logic can get through. Although these types arguments are few and far between they can be be seriously testing.

I did a bit of looking into irrational behaviour and it indicated that anxiety can be a cause of this, reading further she does tick a fair few boxes although Google is far from being any kind of expert.

I just wondered if anxiety can go in hand with depression?

Generally anxiety goes in hand with depression but not always by any means.

It's good you are trying to understand her and do some research, that's a very decent thing to do.

As said above, people can generally just be irrational or assholes "just because".

Certainly if there is no reason for anxiety (for example I find certain social situations uncomfortable, so being "poked" so to speak in these scenarios can provoke a response) then I would have a serious sit down with the Mrs if it continues.

Not forgetting that women are not logical at all and sometimes it's better to just leave it till it cools down and then approach without the anger.

I wonder, did these arguments start AFTER she had finished on her anti-depressant medication or have they always been a part of your relationship?

[Alex_225]

andy-xr said:

Yes.

But (there's always a but) I found when I dated someone who had depression and BPD and harsh as it sounds, sometimes people are just aholes because they're in a bad mood, it doesnt always need to be blamed/associated/pinned to anxiety/depression/other illness. It's easy to excuse behaviour that can go beyond a boundary and it's something you as a partner should be aware of, that you're not sacrificing your needs in a relationship.

Thanks Andy. That's actually something which my other half (and I) have tried to ascertain too.

To give a background, her father has a temper. When I mean temper, he's an utter idiot when he loses it and sees nothing but red when he's angry. One thing my partner has been speaking to a counsellor for is to work out what behaviour she has which is learned and which may or may not be related to the depression.

She's certainly learned to understand herself a lot better and realise in the main part when she's angry irrationally.

I did actually suggest to her after one particular argument whether she suffered anxiety as a lot of things I've read point to it.

xjay1337 said:

It's good you are trying to understand her and do some research, that's a very decent thing to do.

....I wonder, did these arguments start AFTER she had finished on her anti-depressant medication or have they always been a part of your relationship?

Well I just think she deserves a fair chance as it's not as if she can help having depression. All I've said to her is that she needs to communicate to me. If she feels low for now apparent reason, at least tell me so I'm not left wondering what I've done wrong.

That said, there is an element of that from the fairer sex at the best of times! haha

I would say they have been exaggerated by her not taking the anti-depressants and like I say it's fairly infrequent but has been more noticeable in since she stopped taking them.

Thing is we would like children and what she's been taking is potential harmful to an unborn child so she has worked hard to get off them.

Edited by Alex_225 on Wednesday 4th January 12:25

[long time lurker]

I thought I would join this thread with my depression story.

I was made redundant in 2013 and something changed in my personality which I ignored, I became quite lonely and had mood swings along with major stomach issues but decided just to get on with things and ignored my feelings! It all came to ahead Christmas 2015 when my wife at the time said she'd had enough of me and walked out with our daughter shortly after.
I finally got to my GP who diagnosed depression and anxiety and my GP gave me Sertraline and I was also referred for my stomach for an endoscopy, The sertraline certainly helped after a few weeks and after the endoscopy, I was diagnosed with several ulcers and was given medication to resolve them.
Luckily now my stomach is now all clear and my depression/anxiety is quite well controlled (I only take the sertraline when things feel really bad!). I now have an understanding of what triggers things and try and avoid them but no so easy when it's the ex-wife that still seems to be a main cause!
Let's just say she always reminds me of how bad I was mood and attitude wise before and due to our daughter I can't just block her from my life! Oddly this new year she text me asking If I wanted to go to our mutual friend's party where she was (with her new man!) but for me that would have been a bad idea!

Oh final thing I must say, I see a Doctor annually due to another health issue and he said "I could see you had depression a few years ago" All I can say Is, why didn't he say something??
(sorry about the ramble but putting it into words is not easy!!)

[227bhp]

Alex_225 said:

Just been having a quick read through this thread and actually had a question.

My other half was diagnosed with clinical depression in her teens and has had various stints on anti depressants. She was on them for the first 18 months of us being together but has got herself off them and intends on staying off them. Fortunately she hasn't had a bought of feeling extremely low since we have got together, I put that down to perhaps having companionship which she hadn't before.

She is the first long term relationship I have had with someone diagnosed with depression so I have read what I can and try not to be ignorant to the illness.

Thing is there are times when she is seriously irrational, there'll be an argument which will escalate and no amount of explaining or logic can get through. Although these types arguments are few and far between they can be be seriously testing.

I did a bit of looking into irrational behaviour and it indicated that anxiety can be a cause of this, reading further she does tick a fair few boxes although Google is far from being any kind of expert.

I just wondered if anxiety can go in hand with depression?

It doesn't happen the same time every month does it?

[Alex_225]

227bhp said:

It doesn't happen the same time every month does it?

Not necessarily although she has been known to be a hormonal mega beast but that's not a default every month! haha

[V40Vinnie]

It's time for me to take this seriously... I've posted on here before somewhat vanishingly when things have felt beyond my ability to handle them. I guess on a forum full of strangers judgement doesnt matter as i'll probably never meet any of you in real life anyway. I've had depression on an off since i was 18 im now 30. I can probably pin point a couple of senarios in my past that have led to it or atleast drive the negative thoughts i have about myself. My current situation isnt really helping me much as i struggle to get a hand on the career ladder (i dont want to waste a zoology degree). I genuinely despise who i am and i struggle with the fact that who i see myself as does not tally with who my friends see. The same friends that im always working hard to be strong for incase they need something.

I always trot out the line that im just 1 in 7 billion people and if you count all life on earth i'm even more expendable/worthless/insignificant. In most cases it becomes a game of what reason shall i find to keep going on. My ethic has always been 'ok thats a bad situation ill put my head down and keep striving and pushing' but to what end?

The irony is speaking to any kind of professional about it scares the living crap out of me as ive shut the door on things in my life and im now too scared to open it.

Pistonheads is easy, i'm hiding behind a computer... None of you know me although im sure some of you have opinions... Its easy for me to be open as there is no connection i'm just an anonymous data entry.

But im asking as a terrified 30 year old who isnt sure where to turn what do i do? This cant go on forever, I can either continue down a path that may or may not destroy me or i can do what feels like wasting someones time and ask for help. Ive already seriously considered an exit in the last 6 months and with a family member that has terminal Myeloma im not sure im strong enough to be supportive.

Edited by V40Vinnie on Saturday 14th January 22:59

[AMG Merc]

Just saw this. Is OP still checking in? Its been 6 years. Didn't want to trawl through 32 pages

[V40Vinnie]

AMG Merc said:

Just saw this. Is OP still checking in? Its been 6 years. Didn't want to trawl through 32 pages

Page 61 was his last entry sir!

[227bhp]

AMG Merc said:

Just saw this. Is OP still checking in? Its be
en 6 years. Didn't want to trawl through 32 pages

Worryingly not seen since before Christmas, I do hope he's ok.

[227bhp]

V40Vinnie said:

It's time for me to take this seriously... I've posted on here before somewhat vanishingly when things have felt beyond my ability to handle them. I guess on a forum full of strangers judgement doesnt matter as i'll probably never meet any of you in real life anyway. I've had depression on an off since i was 18 im now 30. I can probably pin point a couple of senarios in my past that have led to it or atleast drive the negative thoughts i have about myself. My current situation isnt really helping me much as i struggle to get a hand on the career ladder (i dont want to waste a zoology degree). I genuinely despise who i am and i struggle with the fact that who i see myself as does not tally with who my friends see. The same friends that im always working hard to be strong for incase they need something.

I always trot out the line that im just 1 in 7 billion people and if you count all life on earth i'm even more expendable/worthless/insignificant. In most cases it becomes a game of what reason shall i find to keep going on. My ethic has always been 'ok thats a bad situation ill put my head down and keep striving and pushing' but to what end?

The irony is speaking to any kind of professional about it scares the living crap out of me as ive shut the door on things in my life and im now too scared to open it.

Pistonheads is easy, i'm hiding behind a computer... None of you know me although im sure some of you have opinions... Its easy for me to be open as there is no connection i'm just an anonymous data entry.

But im asking as a terrified 30 year old who isnt sure where to turn what do i do? This cant go on forever, I can either continue down a path that may or may not destroy me or i can do what feels like wasting someones time and ask for help. Ive already seriously considered an exit in the last 6 months and with a family member that has terminal Myeloma im not sure im strong enough to be supportive.

Edited by V40Vinnie on Saturday 14th January 22:59

Classic vending machine type story.

I'm anonymous too and I can't judge as I don't who the heck you are. Getting you to talk to someone who can help isn't going to be easy for me as when help is offered I grab it with both hands, but you have to remember you have a worth, everyone does in some way. Also there are people who can help, it's their job to so try to reach out and grab some of what they offer.