Discussion
While it would be nice to meet up I'm not sure it would work. While I've met many people on PH at various meets the topic of discussion has never turned to depression and other mental health issues.
I for one find the text based venting / conversation more effective as in real life many of us are a lot less keen to talk about the issues we face.
I for one find the text based venting / conversation more effective as in real life many of us are a lot less keen to talk about the issues we face.
Having a bit of a nightmare today & hoping somebody can help me re frame my mind.
Started new role 2 weeks ago, all going fine, really enjoying it and a good challenge one of the better starts to a role I have had. The Mrs moved in this weekend and it just seems to have hit me like a tonne of bricks about my probation. Now I can't shake the anxious feeling about what if I don't pass & need a new role, moving again.
it's all very irrational but I can't shake it combined with a stomach bug (initially though was anxiety related but turns out a few people have it) I don't really feel in the best of health. Does anybody have any tips or tricks that they use to tackle situations like this.
Started new role 2 weeks ago, all going fine, really enjoying it and a good challenge one of the better starts to a role I have had. The Mrs moved in this weekend and it just seems to have hit me like a tonne of bricks about my probation. Now I can't shake the anxious feeling about what if I don't pass & need a new role, moving again.
it's all very irrational but I can't shake it combined with a stomach bug (initially though was anxiety related but turns out a few people have it) I don't really feel in the best of health. Does anybody have any tips or tricks that they use to tackle situations like this.
bobski1 said:
Having a bit of a nightmare today & hoping somebody can help me re frame my mind.
Started new role 2 weeks ago, all going fine, really enjoying it and a good challenge one of the better starts to a role I have had. The Mrs moved in this weekend and it just seems to have hit me like a tonne of bricks about my probation. Now I can't shake the anxious feeling about what if I don't pass & need a new role, moving again.
it's all very irrational but I can't shake it combined with a stomach bug (initially though was anxiety related but turns out a few people have it) I don't really feel in the best of health. Does anybody have any tips or tricks that they use to tackle situations like this.
Talk to yourself.Started new role 2 weeks ago, all going fine, really enjoying it and a good challenge one of the better starts to a role I have had. The Mrs moved in this weekend and it just seems to have hit me like a tonne of bricks about my probation. Now I can't shake the anxious feeling about what if I don't pass & need a new role, moving again.
it's all very irrational but I can't shake it combined with a stomach bug (initially though was anxiety related but turns out a few people have it) I don't really feel in the best of health. Does anybody have any tips or tricks that they use to tackle situations like this.
Why do you all of sudden think you might not pass? Why would that happen? You accept yourself you're doing fine!!!
Even if it did, what would it matter? You'll find another job and in six months you'll laugh about it.
Everyone has fears, mate. But if you disasterise them, that's not good.
I used to be terrified of a heart attack as my Dad had one. I worried for years. Spoiled my life with it. Checking pulse and heart rate every five minutes.
Eventually, I plucked up the courage to go for a full heart check, the full thing. They found that I am genetically predisposed to a heart problem and now I take meds for the rest of my life. They've told me I should be fine now. But what if I'm not? What if I do have a heart attack? Well I am insured to the tune of £1m so my wife and son will be OK, and if it happens then I am not going to know much about it am I? So I just live for today.
Google for mindfulness and CBT examples - it will help.
Dr Jekyll said:
Does this sound like a case of depression?
Relative (some kind of cousin) has a lot of rows with 15 year old daughter. Not sure why, the daughter is adequately behaved by teenager standards, underperforming at school but not disastrously. But the mother keeps acting as though some disaster is imminent, treating any lapse (EG 5 mins late for school, overdue library book) as if it's a sign of a personality defect rather than as an event.
Last night I overheard the mother having a real go at the daughter for no particular reason that I could make out, the daughter sounding on the verge of tears. At one point he mother exclaimed 'you don't know what's right and what's wrong', the daughter replied 'what do you mean?' and the mother replied 'I don't know'.
Unless there's some issue with the daughter I don't know about, this sounds like there's something seriously wrong with the mother and she's taking it out on the daughter.
Or is this just normal behaviour for mothers with teenage daughters?
That was me growing up, swap mother for father. Relative (some kind of cousin) has a lot of rows with 15 year old daughter. Not sure why, the daughter is adequately behaved by teenager standards, underperforming at school but not disastrously. But the mother keeps acting as though some disaster is imminent, treating any lapse (EG 5 mins late for school, overdue library book) as if it's a sign of a personality defect rather than as an event.
Last night I overheard the mother having a real go at the daughter for no particular reason that I could make out, the daughter sounding on the verge of tears. At one point he mother exclaimed 'you don't know what's right and what's wrong', the daughter replied 'what do you mean?' and the mother replied 'I don't know'.
Unless there's some issue with the daughter I don't know about, this sounds like there's something seriously wrong with the mother and she's taking it out on the daughter.
Or is this just normal behaviour for mothers with teenage daughters?
f
ked me up good and proper. Still dealing with it. I'm unable to ask for help because of a mental block that was created because nothing I did was good enough. I got a good mark at school, it was a "fluke" or "they mustn't have read it properly". Friends were never good enough. Minor issues were the end of the world. Soov330e said:
Talk to yourself.
Why do you all of sudden think you might not pass? Why would that happen? You accept yourself you're doing fine!!!
Even if it did, what would it matter? You'll find another job and in six months you'll laugh about it.
Everyone has fears, mate. But if you disasterise them, that's not good.
I used to be terrified of a heart attack as my Dad had one. I worried for years. Spoiled my life with it. Checking pulse and heart rate every five minutes.
Eventually, I plucked up the courage to go for a full heart check, the full thing. They found that I am genetically predisposed to a heart problem and now I take meds for the rest of my life. They've told me I should be fine now. But what if I'm not? What if I do have a heart attack? Well I am insured to the tune of £1m so my wife and son will be OK, and if it happens then I am not going to know much about it am I? So I just live for today.
Google for mindfulness and CBT examples - it will help.
No idea what brought it on, I think it's a combination of really wanting this job to work and tired of moving.Why do you all of sudden think you might not pass? Why would that happen? You accept yourself you're doing fine!!!
Even if it did, what would it matter? You'll find another job and in six months you'll laugh about it.
Everyone has fears, mate. But if you disasterise them, that's not good.
I used to be terrified of a heart attack as my Dad had one. I worried for years. Spoiled my life with it. Checking pulse and heart rate every five minutes.
Eventually, I plucked up the courage to go for a full heart check, the full thing. They found that I am genetically predisposed to a heart problem and now I take meds for the rest of my life. They've told me I should be fine now. But what if I'm not? What if I do have a heart attack? Well I am insured to the tune of £1m so my wife and son will be OK, and if it happens then I am not going to know much about it am I? So I just live for today.
Google for mindfulness and CBT examples - it will help.
Feel absolutely fine today, think I also had a bug of some kind yesterday so that didn't help. Most of the time I am fine and don't think to irrationally but when I do I am able to identify but not talk myself out very quickly. Even tried some music or trying to distract myself but it still kept on coming back for a good half the day at least.
xjay1337 said:
Anyone moved from 20mg dose of Prozac to a 40?
I'm finding no negative side effects (other than odd dreams occasionally) but feel like it'd do with a boost.
I went from 20 to 40. Can't remember any remotely significant or negative issues as a consequence. Neither did it turn me into a skipping bundle of joy.I'm finding no negative side effects (other than odd dreams occasionally) but feel like it'd do with a boost.
This isn't easy. I've not had much luck with the NHS either. All the time I've been trying to get help I've felt like I'm the only one making any effort to get anything done. All I've had from my doctor is pills, some more pills and some more pills. The most the doctor did was to print off a leaflet for something called time to talk, which I then had to arrange an assessment and then arrange my shift around going to the therapy sessions when I finally got a date. So far it's been a complete waste of time. I was told I would be put on a course called "dealing with depression". A few days late I get a letter saying " Sorry I didn't mention that it's group therapy". I wasn't keen on discussing my problems in a group, but I felt that I really needed to just talk to somebody and decided to go through with it. I turn up for the first session and the first thing the therapist says to the group is that we wont be talking about our individual problems. The next two hours basically boils down to the therapist telling everybody that they should be more happy and not to be so negative. I've got five more weeks of this time wasting bullst. The Therapist phoned me a couple of days ago. We had to fill out a form on our first day ( GAD or something like that I think ) and because one of the scores is different from what I gave on the phone assessment, the therapist is now saying that they don't think the course is suitable for me and that I may have to wait for a "year" for anything else to be offered. The therapist said that they would talk to their supervisor and call me back around 4pm ( they didn't ). Today they actually called back and offered a one to one phone session instead of going to the group, but couldn't tell me anything about dates or time that these phone calls would take place. So I'm now looking at having to go back to work and telling them that after changing my shifts around for the therapy session, that they will probably have to change everything around again. Awesome, just fking awesome. How long before my employer gets tired of this and tells me goodbye. I'm tired, worn down and just really had enough. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the idea of these phone sessions. I've tried to keep my family as isolated from my problems as possible and now I'll have to find some place where I can talk that they wont overhear what's said or the other option is trying to find somewhere private at work. What's even more annoying is the therapist is acting like I've said that I wont turn up for the current sessions ( I've never said that ), and whilst I think they are a waste of time, it was the therapist that said that they didn't think it was suitable for me. They also seems to expect me to make decisions instantly with little information about the implications. It may be my current mental state, but it seems poor to me that they'll tell you that the course they told you to go on isn't right ( what was the point of the assessment ? ) and tell you that you may be on your own for up to a year, then forget to call you back at the time they said they would. Couldn't they even just send a text to say somethings come up and we'll call you later ?
Just to add, when the therapist phoned today, and mentioned about the group sessions again, I tried to correct them that they had first mentioned that the sessions weren't suitable for me. Their reply was " That's your interpretation of events ". Nice, not only am I depressed, but I'm delusional also. Git.
Edited to add: Sorry about the wall of text, something seems to have gone wrong with the formatting.
t. The Therapist phoned me a couple of days ago. We had to fill out a form on our first day ( GAD or something like that I think ) and because one of the scores is different from what I gave on the phone assessment, the therapist is now saying that they don't think the course is suitable for me and that I may have to wait for a "year" for anything else to be offered. The therapist said that they would talk to their supervisor and call me back around 4pm ( they didn't ). Today they actually called back and offered a one to one phone session instead of going to the group, but couldn't tell me anything about dates or time that these phone calls would take place. So I'm now looking at having to go back to work and telling them that after changing my shifts around for the therapy session, that they will probably have to change everything around again. Awesome, just fking awesome. How long before my employer gets tired of this and tells me goodbye. I'm tired, worn down and just really had enough. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the idea of these phone sessions. I've tried to keep my family as isolated from my problems as possible and now I'll have to find some place where I can talk that they wont overhear what's said or the other option is trying to find somewhere private at work. What's even more annoying is the therapist is acting like I've said that I wont turn up for the current sessions ( I've never said that ), and whilst I think they are a waste of time, it was the therapist that said that they didn't think it was suitable for me. They also seems to expect me to make decisions instantly with little information about the implications. It may be my current mental state, but it seems poor to me that they'll tell you that the course they told you to go on isn't right ( what was the point of the assessment ? ) and tell you that you may be on your own for up to a year, then forget to call you back at the time they said they would. Couldn't they even just send a text to say somethings come up and we'll call you later ?Just to add, when the therapist phoned today, and mentioned about the group sessions again, I tried to correct them that they had first mentioned that the sessions weren't suitable for me. Their reply was " That's your interpretation of events ". Nice, not only am I depressed, but I'm delusional also. Git.
Edited to add: Sorry about the wall of text, something seems to have gone wrong with the formatting.
Leshen, it seems a lot of people have had fairly poor experiences with the NHS offerings, I've witnessed their attempts second hand and share the confusion / frustration at how they seem to get it so wrong, and also do things that seem outright damaging to their patients.
May I ask why you're isolating your family?
In my limited experience, it appears common for people to push others away when they're suffering. I personally 'withdraw' from friends if not actively push them away so I'm just as guilty, and it is never the right thing to do, it doesn't help, and when the friends / loved ones stop pushing back and chasing after you to make sure you're OK, it becomes very lonely.
Can you reach out to your family, tell them what's happening? They may be able to help you find a professional to talk to.
You're always welcome to talk on here as well, the relative anonymity can be helpful and if nothing else you may find some comfort in sharing how you feel, and possibly in realising you're not alone in feeling it, and that feeling as you do is not a failure.
May I ask why you're isolating your family?
In my limited experience, it appears common for people to push others away when they're suffering. I personally 'withdraw' from friends if not actively push them away so I'm just as guilty, and it is never the right thing to do, it doesn't help, and when the friends / loved ones stop pushing back and chasing after you to make sure you're OK, it becomes very lonely.
Can you reach out to your family, tell them what's happening? They may be able to help you find a professional to talk to.
You're always welcome to talk on here as well, the relative anonymity can be helpful and if nothing else you may find some comfort in sharing how you feel, and possibly in realising you're not alone in feeling it, and that feeling as you do is not a failure.
SturdyHSV said:
Leshen, it seems a lot of people have had fairly poor experiences with the NHS offerings, I've witnessed their attempts second hand and share the confusion / frustration at how they seem to get it so wrong, and also do things that seem outright damaging to their patients.
May I ask why you're isolating your family?
In my limited experience, it appears common for people to push others away when they're suffering. I personally 'withdraw' from friends if not actively push them away so I'm just as guilty, and it is never the right thing to do, it doesn't help, and when the friends / loved ones stop pushing back and chasing after you to make sure you're OK, it becomes very lonely.
Can you reach out to your family, tell them what's happening? They may be able to help you find a professional to talk to.
You're always welcome to talk on here as well, the relative anonymity can be helpful and if nothing else you may find some comfort in sharing how you feel, and possibly in realising you're not alone in feeling it, and that feeling as you do is not a failure.
They have problems of their own and I don't want to add to them. As for helping me to find a professional, they would be in the same boat as me a few months ago and basically be starting from scratch.May I ask why you're isolating your family?
In my limited experience, it appears common for people to push others away when they're suffering. I personally 'withdraw' from friends if not actively push them away so I'm just as guilty, and it is never the right thing to do, it doesn't help, and when the friends / loved ones stop pushing back and chasing after you to make sure you're OK, it becomes very lonely.
Can you reach out to your family, tell them what's happening? They may be able to help you find a professional to talk to.
You're always welcome to talk on here as well, the relative anonymity can be helpful and if nothing else you may find some comfort in sharing how you feel, and possibly in realising you're not alone in feeling it, and that feeling as you do is not a failure.
I'm just sick of the whole process. I've jumped through all the hoops to get where I am now and was hoping to make some progress instead of just treading water.
I'm tired. Really, really tired. Tired of pretending to be positive because that's what management want to see. Tired of banging my head against the wall. Tired of professionals telling me they want to help whilst not listening and not thinking about what effect what they say will have.
At least I have the weekend off. I could do with a break.
xjay1337 said:
Anyone moved from 20mg dose of Prozac to a 40?
I'm finding no negative side effects (other than odd dreams occasionally) but feel like it'd do with a boost.
I've just been rattled by something and felt a potential drop coming up, so have switched my dose up to 40 (fluoxetine) from 20. I'm prescribed 40 but found a happy level at 20. I'm finding no negative side effects (other than odd dreams occasionally) but feel like it'd do with a boost.
Only been two days, so I can't really report much. I had no issues when I was taking that before.
Anyone struggling with loneliness? Seriously lacking in a network of friends to get support from here. Drinking works, but is obviously REALLY not a good way to deal with anything...
Im really struggling and don't have anywhere to turn to.
Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
giblets_ said:
Im really struggling and don't have anywhere to turn to.
Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
It's good you've cut all contact, make sure that extends to social media (if you use them). Her words are doing the damage (things ending long before she ended the relationship) and they will replay themselves over and over until you find yourself a distraction or hobby that keeps your mind busy, then the frequency of those replays will reduce and with less of an impact. Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
With the friends it's often a case of getting those responses - it's the default comeback when they don't know what to say. It doesn't mean that they won't be there for you though, if you're comfortable enough to, speak with them on a one-to-one basis and preferably in person - in a group over text will often just promote jokey replies which don't do anything (I've been there).
Lastly, feel free to write stuff on here or PM too
I realised I haven't updated this thread with my situation in a while...
Things aren't too bad - I moved into a new house-share six weeks ago and distanced myself from my immediate friend group, it got to a point where I was seeing them several times a week and it became exhausting so I needed to do something about it - I now see them once/twice a week and it's better. No real complaints about the new housemates, we're sociable towards one another but due to highly conflicting diaries we can go days without seeing each other, which suits me fine.
With work it's very much the same - my boss is a bit useless and is very much looking out for himself. There have been numerous concerns raised about the guy who does my old role (by me and users) but they are falling on deaf ears - probably because he's my bosses first hire and doesn't want it to be seen as a failure. As a result I find myself doing the absolute bare minimum without the red flag being raised as the motivation to excel isn't there as it'll go unnoticed and the morale among the team is low anyway.
The personal life is relatively quiet - I was dating one girl for a little bit and I told her my events after 5/6 dates but a couple of dates later she called things off, which I was expecting (teaches me a lesson, don't trust too soon). Since then it's been pretty quiet, which suits me as it allows me to focus on getting in shape for the new football season. I lead a pretty boring life at the moment but it's comfortable and apart from the odd occasion where I like the idea of a lazy evening watching TV cuddled on the sofa, I have no complaints (other than work related).
I still have my bad days and with that the dark thoughts, but they are becoming less and less frequent. In summary, I'm comfortable - which can be a good and a bad thing.
Things aren't too bad - I moved into a new house-share six weeks ago and distanced myself from my immediate friend group, it got to a point where I was seeing them several times a week and it became exhausting so I needed to do something about it - I now see them once/twice a week and it's better. No real complaints about the new housemates, we're sociable towards one another but due to highly conflicting diaries we can go days without seeing each other, which suits me fine.
With work it's very much the same - my boss is a bit useless and is very much looking out for himself. There have been numerous concerns raised about the guy who does my old role (by me and users) but they are falling on deaf ears - probably because he's my bosses first hire and doesn't want it to be seen as a failure. As a result I find myself doing the absolute bare minimum without the red flag being raised as the motivation to excel isn't there as it'll go unnoticed and the morale among the team is low anyway.
The personal life is relatively quiet - I was dating one girl for a little bit and I told her my events after 5/6 dates but a couple of dates later she called things off, which I was expecting (teaches me a lesson, don't trust too soon). Since then it's been pretty quiet, which suits me as it allows me to focus on getting in shape for the new football season. I lead a pretty boring life at the moment but it's comfortable and apart from the odd occasion where I like the idea of a lazy evening watching TV cuddled on the sofa, I have no complaints (other than work related).
I still have my bad days and with that the dark thoughts, but they are becoming less and less frequent. In summary, I'm comfortable - which can be a good and a bad thing.
giblets_ said:
Im really struggling and don't have anywhere to turn to.
Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
Having been dumped recently I can sympathise. It takes time and a bit of strength to avoid contact. Replaying it in your head is normal.Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
giblets_ said:
Im really struggling and don't have anywhere to turn to.
Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
I found sertraline made things worse for me! Suffered with Anxiety and Depression for well over 10 years now and just recently had my girlfriend of 4 years leave me; I was doing ok with this as I had a feeling it was coming but yesterday I was told she's dating someone else - Less than a month after leaving me. She told me he makes her happy and she enjoys his company. Told me how things ended for her long before she ended the relationship. I've obviously cut all contact now but her words keep replaying in my head and I feel completely sunk. I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
Just totally alone, and feel so broken. My Sertraline isn't helping either
Horrible situation mate but honestly you will be fine.
It seems s
te now but in a while you'll move on and be grateful. Just don't over think it, rather she left you than see a bloke behind your back. Try and do things you enjoy - Go for a walk, get a dog, start cycling and seeing places. There are loads of nationwide groups of walkers / cycling and it's a great way to meet new people.
xjay1337 said:
I found sertraline made things worse for me!
Horrible situation mate but honestly you will be fine.
It seems ste now but in a while you'll move on and be grateful. Just don't over think it, rather she left you than see a bloke behind your back.
Try and do things you enjoy - Go for a walk, get a dog, start cycling and seeing places. There are loads of nationwide groups of walkers / cycling and it's a great way to meet new people.
Thanks man & Others that have responded.Horrible situation mate but honestly you will be fine.
It seems s
te now but in a while you'll move on and be grateful. Just don't over think it, rather she left you than see a bloke behind your back. Try and do things you enjoy - Go for a walk, get a dog, start cycling and seeing places. There are loads of nationwide groups of walkers / cycling and it's a great way to meet new people.
Im just feeling in a really hollow place at the moment; I was fine with things ending for a few weeks but now I'm an absolute mess and I just feel sick everytime I think of anything to do with her. Just the sheer coldness I received. I was convinced I would marry her and now she's already with someone else with no remorse or care.
I really don't know how I'm going to work through this, but I guess I'll have to - We all go through heartbreak and misery.
giblets_ said:
Thanks man & Others that have responded.
Im just feeling in a really hollow place at the moment; I was fine with things ending for a few weeks but now I'm an absolute mess and I just feel sick everytime I think of anything to do with her. Just the sheer coldness I received. I was convinced I would marry her and now she's already with someone else with no remorse or care.
I really don't know how I'm going to work through this, but I guess I'll have to - We all go through heartbreak and misery.
Can you keep yourself busy? This will be hard to believe but the busier you keep (active, if possible), hopefully, the easier it will be to move on. This time in a few month, you will wonder what all the fuss was about. At least you're not losing hundreds of thousands and moving to a bedsit in a dodgy area - like many failed marriages Im just feeling in a really hollow place at the moment; I was fine with things ending for a few weeks but now I'm an absolute mess and I just feel sick everytime I think of anything to do with her. Just the sheer coldness I received. I was convinced I would marry her and now she's already with someone else with no remorse or care.
I really don't know how I'm going to work through this, but I guess I'll have to - We all go through heartbreak and misery.
Chin up!Leshen said:
They have problems of their own and I don't want to add to them.
Everyone has problems of their own, that doesn't mean you can't share yours with them. Do you feel that you (or your problems at least) aren't important enough to trouble other people with, hence keeping them to yourself? Because that is really the other person's judgement to make. If it was the other way around, if one of them shared a problem with you, would you feel burdened? Or would you possibly feel like they trusted / valued you enough to open up to you?LondonEagle15 said:
giblets_ said:
I know it seems trivial to feel this depressed over a break up and that "they happen" but I've never felt in such a dark place in my life. It has really, really rattled me and i can't grasp why. Got no real friends around me either, they just seem to show up in my life when I have a purpose to them - When Im in trouble I get the "you'll be fine" responses.
It's good you've cut all contact, make sure that extends to social media (if you use them). Her words are doing the damage (things ending long before she ended the relationship) and they will replay themselves over and over until you find yourself a distraction or hobby that keeps your mind busy, then the frequency of those replays will reduce and with less of an impact. With the friends it's often a case of getting those responses - it's the default comeback when they don't know what to say. It doesn't mean that they won't be there for you though, if you're comfortable enough to, speak with them on a one-to-one basis and preferably in person - in a group over text will often just promote jokey replies which don't do anything (I've been there).
Lastly, feel free to write stuff on here or PM too
LondonEagle15 is right, talk to friends one to one if possible, I really lent on a friend this last week, basically just talking to him a lot about the situation to stop me feeling crappy about it, just sharing what was going on and such, and I'm in a much better place than if I'd been left to my own devices.
weeboot said:
Anyone struggling with loneliness? Seriously lacking in a network of friends to get support from here. Drinking works, but is obviously REALLY not a good way to deal with anything...
I'm lucky in having some very understanding friends around me that, although I withdraw from them far too often, I always know they're there if I need and that I can talk to them if I want. I've had to really cut down the drinking over the last few months, I'd say the last 18 months I've developed some really bad habits and it's been a case of just having to not have any alcohol in the house, which is a pretty poor state of affairs!This thread is pretty quiet a lot of the time, but if nothing else it can be cathartic to put thoughts down here so don't be a stranger!
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