Discussion
This thread has dropped a long way down, thought I'd bring it back up.
I lost my dad a few years ago, it wasn't a surprise as such, he had an aortal aneurysm but blood pressure too low to operate, he eventually opted to check himself out of hospital and drink himself to death, I left him at his bungalow the night he did it and when I got the call at work the next morning, I said OK and carried on as usual.
I don't suspect I've properly dealt with it all yet, I'm certainly a lot more of a crier than I ever was before it happened, but then there's been other things that have changed me a lot too, so it's hard to say how much is related to my dad.
I guess I'm not really contributing much with this, really it's just a bump post as it took a fair few pages to even find the thread.
I hope today was a good day for everyone, and if not, it's nearly over now
I lost my dad a few years ago, it wasn't a surprise as such, he had an aortal aneurysm but blood pressure too low to operate, he eventually opted to check himself out of hospital and drink himself to death, I left him at his bungalow the night he did it and when I got the call at work the next morning, I said OK and carried on as usual.
I don't suspect I've properly dealt with it all yet, I'm certainly a lot more of a crier than I ever was before it happened, but then there's been other things that have changed me a lot too, so it's hard to say how much is related to my dad.
I guess I'm not really contributing much with this, really it's just a bump post as it took a fair few pages to even find the thread.
I hope today was a good day for everyone, and if not, it's nearly over now
Ruskie that’s great to read and resonates with me. I went through a stage a few years ago (I posted way earlier in this thread) of depression. I was miserable, marriage break up, very difficult ex, difficulty seeing my daughter, job I hated etc etc.
I’m pleased to say I’ve pulled myself out of the hole by a combination of meditation, exercise, cutting down on alcohol hugely and unplugging from all social media.
Many people think I’m odd but I couldn’t give a sh#t. I think we really underestimate how damaging social media can be when we’re down.
Best of luck and I’m living proof that things do get better. I listed all the books etc in my last post if you can’t find it fire me pm and I’ll happily send you details of the book etc that helped me.
Well done and best of luck!
I’m pleased to say I’ve pulled myself out of the hole by a combination of meditation, exercise, cutting down on alcohol hugely and unplugging from all social media.
Many people think I’m odd but I couldn’t give a sh#t. I think we really underestimate how damaging social media can be when we’re down.
Best of luck and I’m living proof that things do get better. I listed all the books etc in my last post if you can’t find it fire me pm and I’ll happily send you details of the book etc that helped me.
Well done and best of luck!
I have started seeing someone who suffers from Anxiety and Depression. SHe is on meds for the depression and the anxiety, however I'm finding it difficult to cope with her mood swings, we will meet up and things will be great, and then she will withdraw and will ignore me for 3-4 days.
I seem to be her punch bag and I'm finding it is bringing out my anxiety which up to now I have always managed to cope with up to now.
Her condition doesn't come as a surprise to me as we discussed at length before getting together. What I didn't consider was the effect it would have on my anxiety.
Nothing really else to say except i just wanted to vent.
I seem to be her punch bag and I'm finding it is bringing out my anxiety which up to now I have always managed to cope with up to now.
Her condition doesn't come as a surprise to me as we discussed at length before getting together. What I didn't consider was the effect it would have on my anxiety.
Nothing really else to say except i just wanted to vent.
Squadrone Rosso said:
I’m getting nagged by my wife & friends to “see someone” 
I’m not in a black hole but I’m very snappy & intolerant. I don’t think it would take much to light me up.
Basically, struggling to contain my emotions & the fight / flight side of my brain is on red alert.
Do it then, that someone is your Doctor.I’m not in a black hole but I’m very snappy & intolerant. I don’t think it would take much to light me up.
Basically, struggling to contain my emotions & the fight / flight side of my brain is on red alert.
Squadrone Rosso said:
I’m getting nagged by my wife & friends to “see someone”
I’m not in a black hole but I’m very snappy & intolerant. I don’t think it would take much to light me up.
Basically, struggling to contain my emotions & the fight / flight side of my brain is on red alert.
I finally 'cracked' and admitted I had a problem with anxiety and depression last month. I could only manage a couple of hours sleep a night and every day was torture. I worried about work as things are very quiet, I worried about my dads health as he was looking unwell, I worried because due to stress my wife left her job and got a part time job paying her relatively little and how was I going to pay all the bills. I’m not in a black hole but I’m very snappy & intolerant. I don’t think it would take much to light me up.
Basically, struggling to contain my emotions & the fight / flight side of my brain is on red alert.
It was a relief to talk to the doctor about it and admit what I'd been battling in my own head. I'm a 6ft 2 17 stone skin head and was a blubbering mess, but talking about it made me realise I'd been suffering from anxiety and depression since my eldest child was born 10 years ago.
He gave me an anti depressant which has a side effect of helping sleep and it has been a revelation to sleep and not have my mind racing all night thinking about every problem I could ever have in the world, even ones I could do nothing about.
Things did go bad, my dad dropped dead the day after I'd been to see the doctor, my dad was my best mate and boss as well as my dad so it has hit me hard. With his death the situation at work is bad as he did the quotes, so now I have to worry about providing work for 6 other blokes as well as myself.
But the medication has allowed me to carry on functioning and rationalise that I don't need to have answers to all of the problems I may face. What ever happens I'm still alive, if I end up out of work I'll find some thing to do, my mum needs me and my kids need me so I keep doing what I do.
I miss my dad terribly, watching the Brit music awards last night I ended up in tears when Ed Shearan sang about a mother passing away. I sometimes get upset at work when someone asks how my dad is doing not knowing he's died.
If I hadn't been to see the doctor and got tablets I don't know where I'd be right now. I doubt I'd be functioning as I'd be in a panic and not sleeping or eating.
Sorry to ramble on, but it is worth admitting you are struggling and getting help.
Squadrone Rosso said:
I’m getting nagged by my wife & friends to “see someone”
I’m not in a black hole but I’m very snappy & intolerant. I don’t think it would take much to light me up.
Basically, struggling to contain my emotions & the fight / flight side of my brain is on red alert.
that’s the anxiety kicking off. It’s not nice, been there, done that. I’ve given in to the ‘flight’ element on at least a couple of occasions, I say ‘give in’, I didn’t really get much say in the matter...I’m not in a black hole but I’m very snappy & intolerant. I don’t think it would take much to light me up.
Basically, struggling to contain my emotions & the fight / flight side of my brain is on red alert.
We’ve been discussing these issues this week on the ‘poor relation’ thread, it’s still high in the thread listings so nip over and have a read, there’s a lot of handy hints, tips and info there.
I am on Trazadone.
I was put on Pizotofen for acute headaches on 2/2/18 & it’s them that have kicked me off.
I’m on so many pain, nerve & anti inflammatory meds plus methotrexate & sulfasalazine for arthritis so I think these have interacted badly.
I’ve got to stick it out for four weeks though
I was put on Pizotofen for acute headaches on 2/2/18 & it’s them that have kicked me off.
I’m on so many pain, nerve & anti inflammatory meds plus methotrexate & sulfasalazine for arthritis so I think these have interacted badly.
I’ve got to stick it out for four weeks though
Anyone here have any sincere advice for me?
I have been depressed before, and came very close to suicide, as at the time, had a pistol. Would have been very easy to blow the top of my spinal cord out from my skull.
I sought out a head doctor, and was prescribed drugs (which I didn't take). He talked to me about stuff that wasn't relevent - in my mind at least. I felt no better, but what I did tell him was I just needed some time.
Few months later, I naturally pulled myself out of my depression. Can't say why or what drove it, I genuinely don't know.
Anyway, I have personal experience of suicidal lows, but I need some help.
One of my good friends is depressed. He's on anti-depressants, I don't know which flavour.
He's told me several times that (when talking about himself) "I don't care what happens to me".
He assures me he's not suicidal, and won't do anything stupid (his words).
30 years old, he's obese, maybe morbidly obese, at 6' tall, and ~150kgs. He lives at home with his parents. He attended university (I think 8 years in total), but for medical reason doesn't have a degree. Large amount of debt. Single. Works from home, although doing what, I'm not sure.
How can I talk to him about his lifestyle choices and mental health. He's very intelligent, but very stubborn and won't admit when he's wrong, about even trivial stuff with no consequence.
He is a good friend, and I have genuine concern for his physical and mental health.
I have been depressed before, and came very close to suicide, as at the time, had a pistol. Would have been very easy to blow the top of my spinal cord out from my skull.
I sought out a head doctor, and was prescribed drugs (which I didn't take). He talked to me about stuff that wasn't relevent - in my mind at least. I felt no better, but what I did tell him was I just needed some time.
Few months later, I naturally pulled myself out of my depression. Can't say why or what drove it, I genuinely don't know.
Anyway, I have personal experience of suicidal lows, but I need some help.
One of my good friends is depressed. He's on anti-depressants, I don't know which flavour.
He's told me several times that (when talking about himself) "I don't care what happens to me".
He assures me he's not suicidal, and won't do anything stupid (his words).
30 years old, he's obese, maybe morbidly obese, at 6' tall, and ~150kgs. He lives at home with his parents. He attended university (I think 8 years in total), but for medical reason doesn't have a degree. Large amount of debt. Single. Works from home, although doing what, I'm not sure.
How can I talk to him about his lifestyle choices and mental health. He's very intelligent, but very stubborn and won't admit when he's wrong, about even trivial stuff with no consequence.
He is a good friend, and I have genuine concern for his physical and mental health.
I guess my point here is that now matter how good other peoples lives may appear from the outside, we really have no idea how things are on the inside..
To anyone on the outside, my life might appear rosy. I have a decent job and so does the wife, and together we have a child we love absolutely. We live in a nice house, and have nice cars each. All the things that many people see as a sign of being happy and normal.
Yet I have suffered from very bad depression, caused mostly through my job. I must have had it about two years before admitting it to myself. I did eventually see a doctor who prescribed me some Fluoxetine medication, which after about 6 weeks started to work. I felt calmer, and slept better as a result. After a few months and with my doctors agreement I stopped the medication, and all was well.
This was about a year ago, and things at work picked up a bit, but of late I have felt myself regress towards my previous depressive state, again mostly due to work worries. I got some Zolpidem sleeping tablets from my doctor with the agreement I take them only on the nights when I kind of know I will have trouble sleeping (as I can predict them), and they work perfectly. I drop off to sleep fast, but I can get up to the alarm clock easily when needed.
My depression is caused by my job which I hate, but I can't really leave my job as in 4yrs I have the option of early retirement, and never have to work again. But if I leave, I also lose the early pension option and would have to work elsewhere until state retirement age, which is an additional 17yrs.
So i'm kind of in a trap, I know I will be perfectly happy in 4yrs time once i've retired, and all will be well, but 4yrs is a long time to wait when your really not happy or mentally well. Which is why I'm seriously considering the option of reducing my hours by 50%, to reduce my exposure to the job I hate.
To anyone on the outside, my life might appear rosy. I have a decent job and so does the wife, and together we have a child we love absolutely. We live in a nice house, and have nice cars each. All the things that many people see as a sign of being happy and normal.
Yet I have suffered from very bad depression, caused mostly through my job. I must have had it about two years before admitting it to myself. I did eventually see a doctor who prescribed me some Fluoxetine medication, which after about 6 weeks started to work. I felt calmer, and slept better as a result. After a few months and with my doctors agreement I stopped the medication, and all was well.
This was about a year ago, and things at work picked up a bit, but of late I have felt myself regress towards my previous depressive state, again mostly due to work worries. I got some Zolpidem sleeping tablets from my doctor with the agreement I take them only on the nights when I kind of know I will have trouble sleeping (as I can predict them), and they work perfectly. I drop off to sleep fast, but I can get up to the alarm clock easily when needed.
My depression is caused by my job which I hate, but I can't really leave my job as in 4yrs I have the option of early retirement, and never have to work again. But if I leave, I also lose the early pension option and would have to work elsewhere until state retirement age, which is an additional 17yrs.
So i'm kind of in a trap, I know I will be perfectly happy in 4yrs time once i've retired, and all will be well, but 4yrs is a long time to wait when your really not happy or mentally well. Which is why I'm seriously considering the option of reducing my hours by 50%, to reduce my exposure to the job I hate.
Edited by LeadFarmer on Sunday 25th February 17:36
LeadFarmer said:
I guess my point here is that now matter how good other peoples lives may appear from the outside, we really have no idea how things are on the inside..
To anyone on the outside, my life might appear rosy. I have a decent job and so does the wife, and together we have a child we love absolutely. We live in a nice house, and have nice cars each. All the things that many people see as a sign of being happy and normal.
Yet I have suffered from very bad depression, caused mostly through my job. I must have had it about two years before admitting it to myself. I did eventually see a doctor who prescribed me some Fluoxetine medication, which after about 6 weeks started to work. I felt calmer, and slept better as a result. After a few months and with my doctors agreement I stopped the medication, and all was well.
This was about a year ago, and things at work picked up a bit, but of late I have felt myself regress towards my previous depressive state, again mostly due to work worries. I got some Zolpidem sleeping tablets from my doctor with the agreement I take them only on the nights when I kind of know I will have trouble sleeping (as I can predict them), and they work perfectly. I drop off to sleep fast, but I can get up to the alarm clock easily when needed.
My depression is caused by my job which I hate, but I can't really leave my job as in 4yrs I have the option of early retirement, and never have to work again. But if I leave, I also lose the early pension option and would have to work elsewhere until state retirement age, which is an additional 17yrs. So i'm kind of in a trap, I know I will be perfectly happy in 4yrs time once i've retired, and all will be well, but 4yrs is a long time to wait when your really not happy or mentally well.
Am I missing something but, if you're not better why did you stop taking the meds- in fact if they were working , why stop taking them??To anyone on the outside, my life might appear rosy. I have a decent job and so does the wife, and together we have a child we love absolutely. We live in a nice house, and have nice cars each. All the things that many people see as a sign of being happy and normal.
Yet I have suffered from very bad depression, caused mostly through my job. I must have had it about two years before admitting it to myself. I did eventually see a doctor who prescribed me some Fluoxetine medication, which after about 6 weeks started to work. I felt calmer, and slept better as a result. After a few months and with my doctors agreement I stopped the medication, and all was well.
This was about a year ago, and things at work picked up a bit, but of late I have felt myself regress towards my previous depressive state, again mostly due to work worries. I got some Zolpidem sleeping tablets from my doctor with the agreement I take them only on the nights when I kind of know I will have trouble sleeping (as I can predict them), and they work perfectly. I drop off to sleep fast, but I can get up to the alarm clock easily when needed.
My depression is caused by my job which I hate, but I can't really leave my job as in 4yrs I have the option of early retirement, and never have to work again. But if I leave, I also lose the early pension option and would have to work elsewhere until state retirement age, which is an additional 17yrs. So i'm kind of in a trap, I know I will be perfectly happy in 4yrs time once i've retired, and all will be well, but 4yrs is a long time to wait when your really not happy or mentally well.
Edited by LeadFarmer on Sunday 25th February 17:33
Edited by LeadFarmer on Sunday 25th February 17:35
I've been on Paroxotine for many, many yaers. This is for Anxiety, in my case. I intend to stay on it for the rest of my life- I function much better taking it and have no real side-effects.
oceanview said:
Am I missing something but, if you're not better why did you stop taking the meds- in fact if they were working , why stop taking them??
My doctor prescribed them on the basis that I wouldn't be on them long term. They worked, and I felt a lot better so we both agreed I would stop taking them. But I do have the option of getting back on them again, which I am considering. Im the type of person that would rather not take any medication, as often it just masks the real problem, I'd rather tackle the cause of the problem. But in my case the problem is my job, which I'm kind of trapped in. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, its just that the tunnel is 4 yrs long!!!My experience of depression was quite a surprise to me when it happened. I am a happily married man and happy with work and life in general, but one day I got up and found I was tearful for no reason at all.
Saw Dr and was put on Antidepressants and after a few weeks it got better. All the time I was able to function and had no suicidal thoughts but took other action.
I use a relaxation tape when I feel a bit stressed and didn't have any repeat. My story took a twist when I started to get a shaky hand which as my Dad had Parkinson's was a bit alarming.
It was discovered that I had a Thyroid problem and my Endocrinologist asked if I had had any episode of melancholy feelings. Apparently it is not uncommon for people with imbalances of hormones to feel depressed but GP's seem to not bloods just handout tablets.
I no longer have any issues I am aware of and life seems good but for anyone with depression it does feel like you have no control whatsoever.
Saw Dr and was put on Antidepressants and after a few weeks it got better. All the time I was able to function and had no suicidal thoughts but took other action.
I use a relaxation tape when I feel a bit stressed and didn't have any repeat. My story took a twist when I started to get a shaky hand which as my Dad had Parkinson's was a bit alarming.
It was discovered that I had a Thyroid problem and my Endocrinologist asked if I had had any episode of melancholy feelings. Apparently it is not uncommon for people with imbalances of hormones to feel depressed but GP's seem to not bloods just handout tablets.
I no longer have any issues I am aware of and life seems good but for anyone with depression it does feel like you have no control whatsoever.
LeadFarmer said:
oceanview said:
Am I missing something but, if you're not better why did you stop taking the meds- in fact if they were working , why stop taking them??
My doctor prescribed them on the basis that I wouldn't be on them long term. They worked, and I felt a lot better so we both agreed I would stop taking them. But I do have the option of getting back on them again, which I am considering. Im the type of person that would rather not take any medication, as often it just masks the real problem, I'd rather tackle the cause of the problem. But in my case the problem is my job, which I'm kind of trapped in. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, its just that the tunnel is 4 yrs long!!!227bhp said:
There have been some debates about depression on Jeremy Vine's show (R2) this week, available on catchup. I missed the one the other day, but today's about SSRIs was quite interesting.
What's that about horse and water?Hi all, sorry for the disjointed post but any advise would be welcomed...
My OT (we don't live togather) has been really down since Christmas, mostly money worries (she's keeping her head above water, paying bills, mortgage,etc,) but only just. She won't take any money I offer as she wants to be able to look after herself. She has suffered with depression in the past but I thonk only short term when her marriage broke up. She went to the doctor a week ago ad he gave her Setraline which she took previously.
If anything she's been worse since, really really low, won't speak about it. Everytime I ask her how she's feeling I get an "OK". If I ask what's wrong she'll reel off a list of non-problems which I convince her will be fine. I'm starting to get impatient/pissed off with it although I know I shouldn't and I do, to a degree, understand how she feels as I suffer with anxiety myself to the point where getting out of bed is a major mission sometimes. So I'm a, getting annoyed with her and b, getting pissed off with myself for for not being able to get through to her.
Like I said, sorry for the muddy post but thanks for rading and any thoughts appreciated.
My OT (we don't live togather) has been really down since Christmas, mostly money worries (she's keeping her head above water, paying bills, mortgage,etc,) but only just. She won't take any money I offer as she wants to be able to look after herself. She has suffered with depression in the past but I thonk only short term when her marriage broke up. She went to the doctor a week ago ad he gave her Setraline which she took previously.
If anything she's been worse since, really really low, won't speak about it. Everytime I ask her how she's feeling I get an "OK". If I ask what's wrong she'll reel off a list of non-problems which I convince her will be fine. I'm starting to get impatient/pissed off with it although I know I shouldn't and I do, to a degree, understand how she feels as I suffer with anxiety myself to the point where getting out of bed is a major mission sometimes. So I'm a, getting annoyed with her and b, getting pissed off with myself for for not being able to get through to her.
Like I said, sorry for the muddy post but thanks for rading and any thoughts appreciated.
twing said:
Hi all, sorry for the disjointed post but any advise would be welcomed...
My OT (we don't live togather) has been really down since Christmas, mostly money worries (she's keeping her head above water, paying bills, mortgage,etc,) but only just. She won't take any money I offer as she wants to be able to look after herself. She has suffered with depression in the past but I thonk only short term when her marriage broke up. She went to the doctor a week ago ad he gave her Setraline which she took previously.
If anything she's been worse since, really really low, won't speak about it. Everytime I ask her how she's feeling I get an "OK". If I ask what's wrong she'll reel off a list of non-problems which I convince her will be fine. I'm starting to get impatient/pissed off with it although I know I shouldn't and I do, to a degree, understand how she feels as I suffer with anxiety myself to the point where getting out of bed is a major mission sometimes. So I'm a, getting annoyed with her and b, getting pissed off with myself for for not being able to get through to her.
Like I said, sorry for the muddy post but thanks for rading and any thoughts appreciated.
You'll find all the info you need already in this thread so I don't really want to repeat it again, but the ADs take a while to be effective and before they do you can feel like sMy OT (we don't live togather) has been really down since Christmas, mostly money worries (she's keeping her head above water, paying bills, mortgage,etc,) but only just. She won't take any money I offer as she wants to be able to look after herself. She has suffered with depression in the past but I thonk only short term when her marriage broke up. She went to the doctor a week ago ad he gave her Setraline which she took previously.
If anything she's been worse since, really really low, won't speak about it. Everytime I ask her how she's feeling I get an "OK". If I ask what's wrong she'll reel off a list of non-problems which I convince her will be fine. I'm starting to get impatient/pissed off with it although I know I shouldn't and I do, to a degree, understand how she feels as I suffer with anxiety myself to the point where getting out of bed is a major mission sometimes. So I'm a, getting annoyed with her and b, getting pissed off with myself for for not being able to get through to her.
Like I said, sorry for the muddy post but thanks for rading and any thoughts appreciated.
t, she will need a few months to see how it goes and will need a bit of slack until they kick in.As she's been there before it should help and be an advantage as she knows what to expect.
Having your help knocked back is tough and you'll need some patience to cope with that. You don't say how long you've been together?
Maybe you have to think a bit cleverer, be a little less obvious and help without her realising or just in small ways to begin with. It's going to be a difficult few months, but hopefully you'll come out the other side better off than you are now.
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