Discussion
smithyithy said:
Ruskie said:
Painfully accurate article :/The gap between the reality and your expectations is one issue. But it works both up and down. If you are needlessly anxious about a non existent threat, that can be as uncomfortable as feeling like your aspirations are unlikely to be met. In both cases, the issue is engage with the world at a level of control.
HannsG said:
Back to counselling tomorrow for me. Hopefully I will be able to develop a working relationship with the new person
The most successful bout of counselling/therapy I've ever had was when I had a bit of conflict with the therapist. Outside of sessions we got on well, but inside she was pretty tough and relentless at teasing out answers. Personally I responded really well to that, much more so than previous therapists who took the empathic approach.sambucket said:
The gap between the reality and your expectations is one issue. But it works both up and down. If you are needlessly anxious about a non existent threat, that can be as uncomfortable as feeling like your aspirations are unlikely to be met. In both cases, the issue is engage with the world at a level of control.
Do you think this is a modern thing? Are there proportionally more depressed people now than ever before?It's a difficult one to answer as a lot of this kind of thing was misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, swept under the carpet etc.
227bhp said:
Do you think this is a modern thing? Are there proportionally more depressed people now than ever before?
It's a difficult one to answer as a lot of this kind of thing was misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, swept under the carpet etc.
No idea. If I had to guess, putting aside diagnostics etc, I would guess it is not especially a modern thing, if you zoom out far enough. It's a difficult one to answer as a lot of this kind of thing was misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, swept under the carpet etc.
I suspect that the concept is a modern one created largely by psychiatrists. It seems more likely to me that life is often s
t, sometimes for long periods, and sometimes with no end imaginable. These people are chronically unhappy, as you would be in their shoes.
I suspect that has always been with us, just not under that name.
t, sometimes for long periods, and sometimes with no end imaginable. These people are chronically unhappy, as you would be in their shoes.I suspect that has always been with us, just not under that name.
Cie said:
Wrote out a couple of suicide notes last night, don't want to but don't know what else to do.
Do the Samaritans really work? I've always been skeptical because they're trained and it's not "natural" I suppose, not sure that's the right mindset for them to help
If your at this point, I'd suggest you need to at least try. Do the Samaritans really work? I've always been skeptical because they're trained and it's not "natural" I suppose, not sure that's the right mindset for them to help
The conversation may feel unnatural, but the very act of talking with someone listening can be cathartic in itself.
The fact that they are not someone you know, you dont feel like you are "burdening" them and that they have some training means that for some people it's a great option.
What other things are you doing to support an improvement in your mood, try to nail some of the basics, eating, day/night sleep patterns, basic hygiene. Sometimes when the black dogs about the achievement of getting through the basics in a day can make a huge difference.
Edited by Swampy1982 on Saturday 8th June 12:58
Thank you both, I'll probably try them soon. I've nothing to lose I suppose, I just don't know what to expect so it's a bit daunting. Especially as I never talk about this kind of thing really, only reason I posted is because this is absolute rock bottom. As for what I'm doing to improve my mood Swampy, I'm not sure honestly. I have my routine of waking up, shower and working a bit and that's about it until it repeats.
Cie said:
Thank you both, I'll probably try them soon. I've nothing to lose I suppose, I just don't know what to expect so it's a bit daunting. Especially as I never talk about this kind of thing really, only reason I posted is because this is absolute rock bottom. As for what I'm doing to improve my mood Swampy, I'm not sure honestly. I have my routine of waking up, shower and working a bit and that's about it until it repeats.
In my experience I'd perhaps suggest some small goals to aim for, nothing that will stretch you unreasonably. I dont know how your mood affects you as it's so personal, but maybe go to the shop and buy a newspaper, or text a mate about the football. Something that breaks up the banality amd routine (read rut!) and feels like a positive step in the right direction.Then maintain that step and try another one.
Don't give up, even if you don't achieve your goal try again tomorrow.
If you are not used to opening up, it can sometimes be difficult to start, but posting on here and considering the samartains is a positive first step. It will likely feel weird the first time, that's normal and ok, then the second time slightly easier and so on and so forth.
Perhaps practice by spilling your mind into paper, start writing down how you feel, I find this really useful, then perhaps in moments of clarity and rational thought write down again the reasons your in that space.
Have you been to the Drs? Is there counselling available through your work? Have you got a mate who will take you for a beer? What music lifts your mood, all these things are positive steps if you can make them.
P.s. I really hope you don't think I'm being patronising, I'm just trying to share some experience, feel free to ignore if not appropriate or relevant.
You're not being patronising or anything, I appreciate it a lot believe me. I've tried some of the things you've suggested already but at this point I think I just need something to occupy my mind, just don't know what or how to find the motivation for it.
I've been to the doctors and had medication for a month but again I just lost any shred of motivation to try to get better, so I should see a doctor again.
I've been to the doctors and had medication for a month but again I just lost any shred of motivation to try to get better, so I should see a doctor again.
Cie said:
You're not being patronising or anything, I appreciate it a lot believe me. I've tried some of the things you've suggested already but at this point I think I just need something to occupy my mind, just don't know what or how to find the motivation for it.
I've been to the doctors and had medication for a month but again I just lost any shred of motivation to try to get better, so I should see a doctor again.
I’ve struggled with depression on and off for most of my adult life.I've been to the doctors and had medication for a month but again I just lost any shred of motivation to try to get better, so I should see a doctor again.
I found the samaratins to be helpful, mainly to get my thoughts into order.
Rather than calling them I found email to be better. It gave me time to write things down, actually think about my feelings at the time rather than trying to blurt out stuff to a stranger.
It’s not the advice that find helpful, more just getting my thoughts into order. When I have to think about what’s troubling me and write it down it can help to get things in perspective.
Cie said:
You're not being patronising or anything, I appreciate it a lot believe me. I've tried some of the things you've suggested already but at this point I think I just need something to occupy my mind, just don't know what or how to find the motivation for it.
I've been to the doctors and had medication for a month but again I just lost any shred of motivation to try to get better, so I should see a doctor again.
Great advice above, forgot about the email option for the samartains, and as explained by speed writing things down can really make a difference.I've been to the doctors and had medication for a month but again I just lost any shred of motivation to try to get better, so I should see a doctor again.
I think its positive that your trying things, don't underestimate the difference this can make, the very fact that your trying is good. Keep trying.
Occupying your thoughts can be challenging, distracting yourself is useful but learning (being taught) how to rationalise them and put them in order is a longer term plan. Research things like mindfulness, meditation and some CBT techniques. Dont dismiss them as being hippy (like I first did) they can really make a difference.
Ref the medication, it's not unusual for someone to have to try 3-4 (or more) different variants, not all suit everyone, just be careful when you switch that you dont go cold Turkey, some of the withdrawals can be nasty depending on what you are taking. Your Dr should advise if swapping is suitable. I've known people to try 5 different types before finding "the one"
Do you exercise? I dont mean a solid gym bunny protein drinking hulk work out, maybe something more sedate like a walk in the country. The fresh air and exercise will hopefully help release some serotonin.
Diet is also important, as are multivitamins, being depressed can be exhausting, so making sure you are properly fueled to fight it is important. I found batch cooking can be useful, when you have the motivation cook a s
t load of healthy/wholesome food to freeze, then when you feel st and cant be arsed to cook the microwave is your friend. Obvious self medication through drugs and alcohol are ill advised.You have to accept that some days are just gonna be s
t, and that's ok, because there is always the potential of tomorrow to be a good day. Depression is awful, and sometimes you feel like giving up as you cant see the end, but it is there, somewhere. Just because you cant see it dont give up hope, just take little steps into the dark and take care of yourself and I promise you'll come out the other side.
Edited by Swampy1982 on Saturday 8th June 16:22
Edited by Swampy1982 on Saturday 8th June 16:23
I know it may sound daft, but the headspace app is a good place to start if you fancy looking more into mindfulness and relaxation techniques.
Here is some more info if you are interested.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depre...
https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app
Here is some more info if you are interested.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depre...
https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app
Cie said:
Wrote out a couple of suicide notes last night, don't want to but don't know what else to do.
Do the Samaritans really work? I've always been skeptical because they're trained and it's not "natural" I suppose, not sure that's the right mindset for them to help
Rip them up and throw them in the bin, then call Samaritans. Do the Samaritans really work? I've always been skeptical because they're trained and it's not "natural" I suppose, not sure that's the right mindset for them to help
I've not been at that point myself personally, but I have hit what felt like my own rock bottom and it was the first time I'd ever called them, it did help I think, at least in the short term, to just help to put the brakes on and take a breath and air out some of the overwhelming thoughts to a 'stranger'. Anything is worth trying at that point so I would suggest trying them.
I'd then suggest making an appointment with your GP as soon as possible, if you can't see your own quick enough then ask for an emergency appointment and they should be able to get you to another one sooner within the area, that seemed to work for me and they sent me to another local practice a couple miles away after I spoke to Samaritans earlier that day.
I hope you feel better mate
227bhp said:
sambucket said:
The gap between the reality and your expectations is one issue. But it works both up and down. If you are needlessly anxious about a non existent threat, that can be as uncomfortable as feeling like your aspirations are unlikely to be met. In both cases, the issue is engage with the world at a level of control.
Do you think this is a modern thing? Are there proportionally more depressed people now than ever before?It's a difficult one to answer as a lot of this kind of thing was misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, swept under the carpet etc.
Other peoples success is thrust into our face but their issues are not.
slipstream 1985 said:
Other peoples success is thrust into our face but their issues are not.
We also lead very isolated lives which skews our perceptions of other people. I'm sure there are many people on here that spend the majority of their week in large open plan offices, staring at a computer screen. I can go days without having any real social interaction at work. The only conversations I have are held over skype, with people in other timezones, whose only interest we have in each other is work and whether everyone has done what they should. It's not a healthy way of living.
I keep threatening to make a change but it's not easy. From the outside (those perceptions again) I appear to have a perfect life. Lovely wife, two kids, good job, mortgage free etc etc, but it does all feel a bit sterile.
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