Depression

[EFH189]

Just checking in as I saw a couple of responses, thanks for your comments. Matt - your post was inspiring and I am so happy for you that you’re in a better place now.

Didn’t take a Zop last night, instead I took a Kalms which maybe gave me two-three hours sleep and I have now popped a couple of Nytol, so I could nod off before I finish this post! Possibly shouldn’t be mixing things up but hey wtf…

I am pleased to say that my mental health has improved, but I’m not getting carried away as I know the emotional rollercoaster can go in many directions. My wife is moving out later today and this feels like the clean break/closure I need to move forwards in my personal life.

I have really tried to keep myself busy (within reason as see physical health below), doing such things as :

- Repairing damaged paint on walls around the house
- Deep cleaning the house
- De-cluttering all my stuff and did a recycling run
- Giving stuff away to charity
- Tending to the garden
- Buying new plants
- Bought a new mattress, duvet and bed linen
- Bought some colourful new clothing
- Organised/styled the house as I want it
- Checking in daily with different friends to have a catch up
- Watching Clarkson’s Farm (I think it’s brilliant!)
- Reading books
- Eating at least my 5-a-day and cooking new dishes

Despite the mental improvement, sadly my physical health is near rock bottom, to the point I am constantly in pain and discomfort. I don’t yet know what’s causing it and therefore I won’t speculate. I had blood taken yesterday and should have the results tomorrow or Friday, then I can take a view.

Edited by EFH189 on Wednesday 7th July 03:39

[Animal]

EFH189 said:

Just checking in as I saw a couple of responses, thanks for your comments. Matt - your post was inspiring and I am so happy for you that you’re in a better place now.

Didn’t take a Zop last night, instead I took a Kalms which maybe gave me two-three hours sleep and I have now popped a couple of Nytol, so I could nod off before I finish this post! Possibly shouldn’t be mixing things up but hey wtf…

I am pleased to say that my mental health has improved, but I’m not getting carried away as I know the emotional rollercoaster can go in many directions. My wife is moving out later today and this feels like the clean break/closure I need to move forwards in my personal life.

I have really tried to keep myself busy (within reason as see physical health below), doing such things as :

- Repairing damaged paint on walls around the house
- Deep cleaning the house
- De-cluttering all my stuff and did a recycling run
- Giving stuff away to charity
- Tending to the garden
- Buying new plants
- Bought a new mattress, duvet and bed linen
- Bought some colourful new clothing
- Organised/styled the house as I want it
- Checking in daily with different friends to have a catch up
- Watching Clarkson’s Farm (I think it’s brilliant!)
- Reading books
- Eating at least my 5-a-day and cooking new dishes

Despite the mental improvement, sadly my physical health is near rock bottom, to the point I am constantly in pain and discomfort. I don’t yet know what’s causing it and therefore I won’t speculate. I had blood taken yesterday and should have the results tomorrow or Friday, then I can take a view.

Edited by EFH189 on Wednesday 7th July 03:39

Each and every one of the things you've listed is a positive, and that's a pretty long list so well done, you're doing a great job! I'm sorry to hear about your physical pain and fingers crossed it's something that can be quickly identified and treated.

[Slowboathome]

Animal said:

Each and every one of the things you've listed is a positive, and that's a pretty long list so well done, you're doing a great job! I'm sorry to hear about your physical pain and fingers crossed it's something that can be quickly identified and treated.

Totally agree. I learned last year, when I was properly depressed, that it was important to accomplish one small thing each day. 'Accomplish' = 'complete a task'.

Some days, it was just doing the washing up.

[havoc]

Thought this belonged here. I hope you all take this in the spirit it's intended...

[EFH189]

Morning all, I hope everyone is keeping well.

As far as I am concerned, my mental health feels ok at the moment. My wife moved out a week ago and has popped back once to see the cat/me and it’s been ok, we even shared a few laughs. At times I’ve been feeling lonely and at a loose end, but that’s even more reason to find things to do to keep busy, sometimes this is easier said than done though! I’m maintaining a healthy diet and consuming well in excess of the recommended 5-a-day.

No further forwards in identifying the problems affecting my physical health yet. I did discover a letter in my files which diagnosed signs of cervical osteoarthritis in 2013, so that would probably explain my neck problems coupled with my lumbar spinal fusion; my spine health is clearly not great. I started swimming yesterday to try and help my mobility and ease up any stiffness. I swam around 1km and today my right shoulder is in pain, as I clearly overdid it so I need to take it more steady. Shame as I wanted to go again today, but no point if I’m going to injure myself.

Thankfully the weather looks to be improving where I live, which is always a bonus as can potter around the garden.

Hope that you have a positive day folks.

[SpeckledJim]

Good news.

Stay busy, see a few tasks through to completion, get outside as much as possible, eat well, don't drink too much.

[EFH189]

SpeckledJim said:

Good news.

Stay busy, see a few tasks through to completion, get outside as much as possible, eat well, don't drink too much.

Thanks, I shall do that.

I’m pretty much tee-total these days actually. I didn’t drink a huge amount previously but a few weeks back I had some strong craft ciders I was bought as a gift, maybe one or two a night for three days running. Despite enjoying them at the time, the alcohol really accentuated my anxiety/depression so I won’t be going there again anytime soon.

[A500leroy]

Aldi alcohol free is the way to go.

[M22s]

EFH189 said:

SpeckledJim said:

Good news.

Stay busy, see a few tasks through to completion, get outside as much as possible, eat well, don't drink too much.

Thanks, I shall do that.

I’m pretty much tee-total these days actually. I didn’t drink a huge amount previously but a few weeks back I had some strong craft ciders I was bought as a gift, maybe one or two a night for three days running. Despite enjoying them at the time, the alcohol really accentuated my anxiety/depression so I won’t be going there again anytime soon.

Some really great alcohol free beers coming out recently - Adnams ghost ship, brewdogs Punk AF and nanny state are all great.

I don’t drink alcohol (or caffeine) anymore for exactly the reason you have found.

Lots of self care chap, tough gig for many at the moment.

[EFH189]

M22s said:

EFH189 said:

SpeckledJim said:

Good news.

Stay busy, see a few tasks through to completion, get outside as much as possible, eat well, don't drink too much.

Thanks, I shall do that.

I’m pretty much tee-total these days actually. I didn’t drink a huge amount previously but a few weeks back I had some strong craft ciders I was bought as a gift, maybe one or two a night for three days running. Despite enjoying them at the time, the alcohol really accentuated my anxiety/depression so I won’t be going there again anytime soon.

Some really great alcohol free beers coming out recently - Adnams ghost ship, brewdogs Punk AF and nanny state are all great.

I don’t drink alcohol (or caffeine) anymore for exactly the reason you have found.

Lots of self care chap, tough gig for many at the moment.

As I really like the taste of cider and find it very refreshing, I discovered this at the weekend. It’s really decent for an alcohol-free drink - https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/301...

I’ve started swimming regularly, been three times so far, up to 45 mins per session. I’m hoping this activity will help to strengthen my back and make it more supple, as I’ve still got debilitating pain stopping me from doing too much.

Have a good day all.

[deadtom]

This thread keeps dropping off the first page of health matters, which I hope is good news and that we are all keeping busy and enjoying the more palatable weather (I wanted to say good weather, but this is England after all)?

[markiii]

It's great weather we're it November

[Mr Whippy]

EFH189 said:

Morning all, I hope everyone is keeping well.

As far as I am concerned, my mental health feels ok at the moment. My wife moved out a week ago and has popped back once to see the cat/me and it’s been ok, we even shared a few laughs. At times I’ve been feeling lonely and at a loose end, but that’s even more reason to find things to do to keep busy, sometimes this is easier said than done though! I’m maintaining a healthy diet and consuming well in excess of the recommended 5-a-day.

No further forwards in identifying the problems affecting my physical health yet. I did discover a letter in my files which diagnosed signs of cervical osteoarthritis in 2013, so that would probably explain my neck problems coupled with my lumbar spinal fusion; my spine health is clearly not great. I started swimming yesterday to try and help my mobility and ease up any stiffness. I swam around 1km and today my right shoulder is in pain, as I clearly overdid it so I need to take it more steady. Shame as I wanted to go again today, but no point if I’m going to injure myself.

Thankfully the weather looks to be improving where I live, which is always a bonus as can potter around the garden.

Hope that you have a positive day folks.

I’m not a professional.

Busying your body and mind with activities is allowing you to suppress your emotions.

You need to let them be processed so you’re not stressing yourself holding them in. Suppressing emotions isn’t ideal.


I’d listen to some Alan Watts (decent length stuff on YouTube) with regards meditating. I think he really gets the vibe across of what meditation is all about. Accepting what is.

Try get some time living in the now and accepting you’re safe, and that worrying or stressing in the moment is irrelevant.

[oldbanger]

I’d second Alan Watts, also Elkhart Tolle and Pema Chodron are worth a shout.

My dad died suddenly in June and i surprised myself as to how well I took it initially. We had the funeral 2 weeks ago and now that’s passed, I’ve found it’s now starting to come out - unsettling vivid dreams, waking with very strong anxiety and a persistent depression during the day. I got very ill after my mum died two years ago, so I am keeping an eye on things. At least this time my brother has been sorting things.

[EFH189]

Mr Whippy said:

EFH189 said:

Morning all, I hope everyone is keeping well.

As far as I am concerned, my mental health feels ok at the moment. My wife moved out a week ago and has popped back once to see the cat/me and it’s been ok, we even shared a few laughs. At times I’ve been feeling lonely and at a loose end, but that’s even more reason to find things to do to keep busy, sometimes this is easier said than done though! I’m maintaining a healthy diet and consuming well in excess of the recommended 5-a-day.

No further forwards in identifying the problems affecting my physical health yet. I did discover a letter in my files which diagnosed signs of cervical osteoarthritis in 2013, so that would probably explain my neck problems coupled with my lumbar spinal fusion; my spine health is clearly not great. I started swimming yesterday to try and help my mobility and ease up any stiffness. I swam around 1km and today my right shoulder is in pain, as I clearly overdid it so I need to take it more steady. Shame as I wanted to go again today, but no point if I’m going to injure myself.

Thankfully the weather looks to be improving where I live, which is always a bonus as can potter around the garden.

Hope that you have a positive day folks.

I’m not a professional.

Busying your body and mind with activities is allowing you to suppress your emotions.

You need to let them be processed so you’re not stressing yourself holding them in. Suppressing emotions isn’t ideal.


I’d listen to some Alan Watts (decent length stuff on YouTube) with regards meditating. I think he really gets the vibe across of what meditation is all about. Accepting what is.

Try get some time living in the now and accepting you’re safe, and that worrying or stressing in the moment is irrelevant.

Thanks for taking the time to provide your insight. I will look up this chap on YouTube and see how it is. I don’t think I’ve kept in my emotions at all, in fact I’ve released a huge amount during therapy and with friends but perhaps that wasn’t clear from my previous posts.

Around 10 days ago I had to self-admit to A&E because of my back pain. They were concerned I may have Cauda Equine Syndrome so I was admitted overnight and scanned (MRI) in the middle of the night. All quite surreal. They diagnosed a few issues such as adjacent disc disease, spinal stenosis, a herniated disc at L3/L4 and bony protusions next to where I had a fusion of L4/L5 c. 10 years ago. Little wonder I’ve been struggling with this. I am now on a cocktail of med: Tramadol, Pregabalin, Omeprazole, Naproxen, Amitriptyline and paracetamol - some of these may help any anxiety too. I was signed off work for four weeks minimum and have to return after six weeks for a clinical assessment. Decompression surgery may be required.

I’m also getting my neck and thoracic spine scanned privately, as they wouldn’t do it in A&E with the symptoms I presented with. Once I know what’s fully going on I can then take whatever steps are necessary to try and understand my condition and the implications it may have on my life.

My divorce/breakup has taken a back seat with all this going on! Now my only focus is my health and hopefully becoming pain-free (or as close to this as possible) and being strong enough to cope with work.

[Mr Whippy]

Jeez that sounds like a lot. I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through.

I still do recommend you invest some time in ‘just being’ though.
The body and mind are like two sides of the same coin.
I know that seems like twice as much work but it pays more than double the dividend in my experience.

[HappyMidget]

Reading this thread has prompted me to approach my GP just now via the online portal. Guess I will hear back soon as to when I get an appt.

Just feeling really numb and inside my own head at the moment, really not helped by drinking too much. Having counselling for that but it just doesn't seem to be working and that is making me feel worse.

[Swampy1982]

HappyMidget said:

Reading this thread has prompted me to approach my GP just now via the online portal. Guess I will hear back soon as to when I get an appt.

Just feeling really numb and inside my own head at the moment, really not helped by drinking too much. Having counselling for that but it just doesn't seem to be working and that is making me feel worse.

Well done on taking the first step both with your drinking drinking your mental health, take pride in the fact you are seeking proper support, it might be a long road but you've started now, keep the momentum going!

[HappyMidget]

Swampy1982 said:

HappyMidget said:

Reading this thread has prompted me to approach my GP just now via the online portal. Guess I will hear back soon as to when I get an appt.

Just feeling really numb and inside my own head at the moment, really not helped by drinking too much. Having counselling for that but it just doesn't seem to be working and that is making me feel worse.

Well done on taking the first step both with your drinking drinking your mental health, take pride in the fact you are seeking proper support, it might be a long road but you've started now, keep the momentum going!

It just all feels so pointless right now though.

[zygalski]

HappyMidget said:

It just all feels so pointless right now though.

What interests have you got? Sport, music, film.. anything.
Just try to focus on things that you like & maybe try calming your mind with a meditation.
When you're anxious your mind just goes round & round, focussing on the negatives & exaggerating any problems. You need to try to break the cycle.