Depression

[A500leroy]

An update is good right?

Im still not happy, I still dont see the point of living, but I dont think theirs meant to be one right?

The thing that scares me is I dont think I belong in the future. I like a simple way of life, manual work (warehouse/courier/postman etc) but it seems all theses jobs are being phased out in favour of drones, ( I saw one on the tv the other day that looked like a dog with no head and could run in any direction, truly terrifying),Looks like us simpletons are all meant to be retrained into high paid high skilled office jobs even if we dont want it.

Then im being put permanently off the road on to the bus as I firmly believe they are going to keep pure ev prices high to get the workers on to public transport so theirs one interest gone, The second related interest that will be gone is motorsport ( lets face it silent btcc and bsb wont be as fun).

Then they are going to take my heating off me (gas) and leave me to shiver as theirs no way I would afford to fit and run any form of electric heating.

On top of all that comes the small fact you arent allowed to speak your mind anymore for fear of offending or even worse inadvertently committing a hate crime, Im the type of boy that will tell someone if they are being a tool, but its seems your now meant to council them and offer support for them being a tool.

Really dont think the future is looking bright for someone who likes a simple cheap lifestyle.

[Gargamel]

A500leroy said:

An update is good right?

Im still not happy, I still dont see the point of living, but I dont think theirs meant to be one right?

The thing that scares me is I dont think I belong in the future. I like a simple way of life, manual work (warehouse/courier/postman etc) but it seems all theses jobs are being phased out in favour of drones, ( I saw one on the tv the other day that looked like a dog with no head and could run in any direction, truly terrifying),Looks like us simpletons are all meant to be retrained into high paid high skilled office jobs even if we dont want it.

Then im being put permanently off the road on to the bus as I firmly believe they are going to keep pure ev prices high to get the workers on to public transport so theirs one interest gone, The second related interest that will be gone is motorsport ( lets face it silent btcc and bsb wont be as fun).

Then they are going to take my heating off me (gas) and leave me to shiver as theirs no way I would afford to fit and run any form of electric heating.

On top of all that comes the small fact you arent allowed to speak your mind anymore for fear of offending or even worse inadvertently committing a hate crime, Im the type of boy that will tell someone if they are being a tool, but its seems your now meant to council them and offer support for them being a tool.

Really dont think the future is looking bright for someone who likes a simple cheap lifestyle.

Whilst there is a grain of truth in some of what you write, there will always be outdoor ‘simple’ tasks that need people.

Also, try to define yourself by the things you want, like, enjoy or feel passion for. It’s a modern day trap to define ourselves by what we are against, don’t do, or dislike.

[A500leroy]

Gargamel said:

A500leroy said:

An update is good right?

Im still not happy, I still dont see the point of living, but I dont think theirs meant to be one right?

The thing that scares me is I dont think I belong in the future. I like a simple way of life, manual work (warehouse/courier/postman etc) but it seems all theses jobs are being phased out in favour of drones, ( I saw one on the tv the other day that looked like a dog with no head and could run in any direction, truly terrifying),Looks like us simpletons are all meant to be retrained into high paid high skilled office jobs even if we dont want it.

Then im being put permanently off the road on to the bus as I firmly believe they are going to keep pure ev prices high to get the workers on to public transport so theirs one interest gone, The second related interest that will be gone is motorsport ( lets face it silent btcc and bsb wont be as fun).

Then they are going to take my heating off me (gas) and leave me to shiver as theirs no way I would afford to fit and run any form of electric heating.

On top of all that comes the small fact you arent allowed to speak your mind anymore for fear of offending or even worse inadvertently committing a hate crime, Im the type of boy that will tell someone if they are being a tool, but its seems your now meant to council them and offer support for them being a tool.

Really dont think the future is looking bright for someone who likes a simple cheap lifestyle.

Whilst there is a grain of truth in some of what you write, there will always be outdoor ‘simple’ tasks that need people.

Also, try to define yourself by the things you want, like, enjoy or feel passion for. It’s a modern day trap to define ourselves by what we are against, don’t do, or dislike.

Thats easy motorcycles, but they will probably be illegal soon and I currently dont have one as I lost the 'wanting to go out on the bike feeling' which become 'id better take the bike out cause its not moved in months'

[Craikeybaby]

I have been struggling the last few years, but it has been getting progressively worse over the last 6 months. In the spring I decided I needed to do something about it and spoke to the counselling service offered by work. They just pointed me to my GP. The GP referred me to IAPT - I spoke to them 8 weeks ago and was recommended CBT, with a waiting list of "about 6 weeks".

I had a pretty bad week last week, to the point where my usual "Sunday reset", going out for a drive or a bike ride, didn't make me feel better, just gave me more time to think negative thoughts. So I decided to chase up IAPT and was told that it may be a 5 or 6 MONTH wait for CBT now...

On a more positive note, whilst looking for alternatives I discovered that my work private health care includes mental health cover, so I have an assessment lined up later this week.

[Gargamel]

Craikeybaby said:

I have been struggling the last few years, but it has been getting progressively worse over the last 6 months. In the spring I decided I needed to do something about it and spoke to the counselling service offered by work. They just pointed me to my GP. The GP referred me to IAPT - I spoke to them 8 weeks ago and was recommended CBT, with a waiting list of "about 6 weeks".

I had a pretty bad week last week, to the point where my usual "Sunday reset", going out for a drive or a bike ride, didn't make me feel better, just gave me more time to think negative thoughts. So I decided to chase up IAPT and was told that it may be a 5 or 6 MONTH wait for CBT now...

On a more positive note, whilst looking for alternatives I discovered that my work private health care includes mental health cover, so I have an assessment lined up later this week.

Great that the compnay provide this. So many don't, when its a really good benefit. I also had an asessment and arranged my counselling though the company provider (the company aren't ever told which employee is using the service)

Hope its useful for you. Interesting that you can identify your negative thoughts . are you making a written journal each day ?

[Craikeybaby]

No, but there’s a fairly regular pattern that I am fine when I am working and struggling at the weekend.

[EFH189]

Craikeybaby said:

No, but there’s a fairly regular pattern that I am fine when I am working and struggling at the weekend.

Hi Lewis, great that you’re seeking help. I would make the most of any private health cover you have, it’s typically invaluable at speeding up the process vs the NHS. Hopefully you can get your assessment and at least create a plan for how to try and tackle this.

Your post struck a chord with me, as I mentioned similar some pages back. I have struggled with social anxiety all my life but put me in my professional environment and my anxieties all but disappear.

What do you think changes for you at the weekend? Is it the lack of routine, no focus, no desire to do anything or be with others, or something else?

I have found this thread invaluable in providing support, guidance and encouragement. I had some very difficult times these last 10 weeks and being able to share it here has helped me contextualise my situation better.

Hopefully it can help you and others too.

[Craikeybaby]

I think it is because during the week I have my structured life, I don’t have a chance yo think about anything other than work. Then at the weekend I have kids screaming the whole time and a constant headache.

[Leicester Loyal]

First time poster here (I think).


Seriously considering going to the doctors. Ended up with my ex messaging me again, we went out for a meal, then she's pulled the rug from under me again and I'm at rock bottom once again, 16 months after originally splitting up. I've been on nights, hardly had any sleep and I've sat here all morning thinking what's the point in life.

I'm embarrassed at myself if I'm honest.

[wiliferus]

Get to the doctors. If you can recognise the need, then there is a need.
It seems apparent from your post that the ex is the cause of your troubles. Maybe text them, tell them the impact of their presence, and ask them to back away. Some people are oblivious to the impact of their behaviour so it may help to point it out.

Cleanse your life from things are are having a negative impact - easier said than done - but having those things hanging around won’t assist your recovery.

Keep ploughing on, there are better times ahead.

[Leicester Loyal]

wiliferus said:

Get to the doctors. If you can recognise the need, then there is a need.
It seems apparent from your post that the ex is the cause of your troubles. Maybe text them, tell them the impact of their presence, and ask them to back away. Some people are oblivious to the impact of their behaviour so it may help to point it out.

Cleanse your life from things are are having a negative impact - easier said than done - but having those things hanging around won’t assist your recovery.

Keep ploughing on, there are better times ahead.

I have told her what I believe she's doing, I believe she uses me. She knows I'll never see her as just a friend. I've blocked her so many times but always unblock her, so I've only got myself to blame for the situation if I'm totally honest.

Thank you for your post.

[SpeckledJim]

Leicester Loyal said:

wiliferus said:

Get to the doctors. If you can recognise the need, then there is a need.
It seems apparent from your post that the ex is the cause of your troubles. Maybe text them, tell them the impact of their presence, and ask them to back away. Some people are oblivious to the impact of their behaviour so it may help to point it out.

Cleanse your life from things are are having a negative impact - easier said than done - but having those things hanging around won’t assist your recovery.

Keep ploughing on, there are better times ahead.

I have told her what I believe she's doing, I believe she uses me. She knows I'll never see her as just a friend. I've blocked her so many times but always unblock her, so I've only got myself to blame for the situation if I'm totally honest.

Thank you for your post.

I think if it all stems from her, then you know you need to cut her off and mean it.

If there's other underlying stuff as well, then go and see the doctor.

(I'm no professional)

[deadtom]

Leicester Loyal said:

I have told her what I believe she's doing, I believe she uses me. She knows I'll never see her as just a friend. I've blocked her so many times but always unblock her, so I've only got myself to blame for the situation if I'm totally honest.

Thank you for your post.

That's such a difficult situation to be in, I have been there before.

It's good that you can at least see what's going on even though it doesn't make it any easier to do the right thing.

[Leicester Loyal]

I have been speaking to SHOUT this afternoon, it has helped. My sis-in-law took me out for lunch to get me out of the house, she also suffers with her mental health so I have spoken to her about the situation.

I think I'm gonna ring the doctors at 8am tomorrow and see the GP. I have done this once previously when my best friend died suddenly a few years ago. I have also self referred myself for counselling, although that will probably take a while and might be a little drastic, I just feel like I need help.

[Leicester Loyal]

Feel much better a few hours later, went for a walk with a friend earlier. Asked my ex not to reply to my message as I wouldn't respond again, I basically just said I'm at rock bottom at the minute, the messaging isn't doing my mental health any good and I'm going to try and get some help. I apologised and said please take care of yourself. She replies 'You won't hear from me again, you've made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with me so I have deleted your number and I'll delete these texts and you will never hear from me again'.

Now the part comes where I need to resist ever going back, I've done it numerous times before but she usually ends up drunkenly ringing me or texting me, as has happened 3 or 4 times now.

Sorry for turning this thread into some Jeremy Kyle type relationship one, it does feel a lot better to write it all out though and say it to someone (or a group as on here)

[Wills2]

Leicester Loyal said:

I have been speaking to SHOUT this afternoon, it has helped. My sis-in-law took me out for lunch to get me out of the house, she also suffers with her mental health so I have spoken to her about the situation.

I think I'm gonna ring the doctors at 8am tomorrow and see the GP. I have done this once previously when my best friend died suddenly a few years ago. I have also self referred myself for counselling, although that will probably take a while and might be a little drastic, I just feel like I need help.

Nothing drastic about counselling it's something everyone could benefit from, I've benefited enormously from it so I'd recommend it highly as I would also recommend mindfulness as well.

Counselling can be sought immediately as well.

[simonw67]

Leicester Loyal said:

Feel much better a few hours later, went for a walk with a friend earlier. Asked my ex not to reply to my message as I wouldn't respond again, I basically just said I'm at rock bottom at the minute, the messaging isn't doing my mental health any good and I'm going to try and get some help. I apologised and said please take care of yourself. She replies 'You won't hear from me again, you've made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with me so I have deleted your number and I'll delete these texts and you will never hear from me again'.

Now the part comes where I need to resist ever going back, I've done it numerous times before but she usually ends up drunkenly ringing me or texting me, as has happened 3 or 4 times now.

Sorry for turning this thread into some Jeremy Kyle type relationship one, it does feel a lot better to write it all out though and say it to someone (or a group as on here)

Avoid that happening and block her and get on with your life. This is the best and only answer.

[anonymous-user]

Yeah, been there. Ex broke up with me out of the blue. Proceeded to continue messaging me almost as if she hadn’t just done it. I had to ask her to stop and thankfully she did. It is horrible to go cold turkey like that, but necessary. Good luck.

[oldbanger]

simonw67 said:

Leicester Loyal said:

Feel much better a few hours later, went for a walk with a friend earlier. Asked my ex not to reply to my message as I wouldn't respond again, I basically just said I'm at rock bottom at the minute, the messaging isn't doing my mental health any good and I'm going to try and get some help. I apologised and said please take care of yourself. She replies 'You won't hear from me again, you've made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with me so I have deleted your number and I'll delete these texts and you will never hear from me again'.

Now the part comes where I need to resist ever going back, I've done it numerous times before but she usually ends up drunkenly ringing me or texting me, as has happened 3 or 4 times now.

Sorry for turning this thread into some Jeremy Kyle type relationship one, it does feel a lot better to write it all out though and say it to someone (or a group as on here)

Avoid that happening and block her and get on with your life. This is the best and only answer.

OP she sounds more than a little dramatic and that can’t be good for your piece of mind. Please block her, as self care, so she can’t hook you if she gets any drunken remorse.

Good to read you’ve referred yourself for counselling - it can really help to get your head straight if you talk things through with someone who doesn’t have any vested interests in your life.

[Leicester Loyal]

I blocked her almost as soon as posting my earlier message, it's time I sorted the issue out myself rather than let her control my life.

Rang in sick for work tonight (overtime, so you know it's had a huge effect on me!). I'm thinking about having some time off work, maybe a week or so to try and get my head clear. Annoyingly I've got my housewarming on Saturday where I know I'll be drinking.

Bit of a sidenote but I lost my best friend suddenly a few years ago at 23 (I may have posted in here then), and when I was thinking this afternoon whether life was worth it, I just got upset at the fact that that poor soul didn't get the chance to live the life I have, and I'm sat here questioning whether it's worth it.

Head's a bit of a mess at the minute as you can tell, will hopefully feel better in the morning. Thank you for the continued replies.