Depression

[BobSaunders]

Babber101 said:

BobSaunders said:

JiggyJaggy said:

Such a weird feeling to have a nice weekend with my extended family in the sunshine and sharing food / drink, yet wake up for no apparent reason feeling exceptionally down and demotivated this morning. Wondering if anyone else randomly has opposite days like the above?

Yep, typically for me it’s based on environmental and body stimuli dehydration, tiredness, energy/fatigue, sleep, etc. also starting to find out that a dip in nutrition from cleaner foods e.g. vegetables etc. causes me to also dip. Starting to see patterns.

I think it’s such a complex disease - you have the mental and emotional aspect but I’m convinced there is a physical element to do with chemical/hormone imbalances which are impacted by nutrition and exercise

100% if the body isn’t looked after then how can it maintain the mind that sits within it. Just one piece of the puzzle as you say.

[twohoursfromlondon]

Morning all, hope everyone is keeping well and taking care of yourselves.

I was just browsing some notes on my phone and I found something I initially wrote in June 2021. It was around the time I was in a pretty difficult place and had begun counselling, but I wrote this off my own back.

Twelve Steps to the Real Me

- Address the guilt and shame I have for poor choices and behaviour in earlier life
- Develop trust in others, don’t immediately default to dis-trust mode
- Address thoughts and feelings about being self-conscious, fear of embarrassment or ridicule, being negatively judged in situations I’m unfamiliar with (ie outside of comfort zone)
- Don’t ruminate over anything negative, focus on positive thoughts and memories
- Develop the confidence to be my true self, be happy and enjoy social situations and gatherings I am invited to, or that I invite others to - don’t avoid anything and don’t assume these events will go badly. Don’t be fearful of trying something new
- Stop comparing myself to others, stop thinking everyone is better than me and giving myself a hard time over it
- Forgive others for the hurt they may have caused me, learn to not hold grudges
- Authority figures; deal with my anxiety when encountering these people
- Become more physically active
- Find my purpose and look forward to the future
- Learn how to first love myself, so that I can then love others
- Live life, don’t survive life!

I have just reviewed these points having not read this for probably 6 months, and I can put a solid green tick after each one, as I have achieved them all. A similar list may help if you suffer with social anxiety or depression.

All the best.

[jm8403]

Amazing, well done. I wish I could tick all of those!

[anxious_ant]

twohoursfromlondon said:

Morning all, hope everyone is keeping well and taking care of yourselves.

I was just browsing some notes on my phone and I found something I initially wrote in June 2021. It was around the time I was in a pretty difficult place and had begun counselling, but I wrote this off my own back.

Twelve Steps to the Real Me

- Address the guilt and shame I have for poor choices and behaviour in earlier life
- Develop trust in others, don’t immediately default to dis-trust mode
- Address thoughts and feelings about being self-conscious, fear of embarrassment or ridicule, being negatively judged in situations I’m unfamiliar with (ie outside of comfort zone)
- Don’t ruminate over anything negative, focus on positive thoughts and memories
- Develop the confidence to be my true self, be happy and enjoy social situations and gatherings I am invited to, or that I invite others to - don’t avoid anything and don’t assume these events will go badly. Don’t be fearful of trying something new
- Stop comparing myself to others, stop thinking everyone is better than me and giving myself a hard time over it
- Forgive others for the hurt they may have caused me, learn to not hold grudges
- Authority figures; deal with my anxiety when encountering these people
- Become more physically active
- Find my purpose and look forward to the future
- Learn how to first love myself, so that I can then love others
- Live life, don’t survive life!

I have just reviewed these points having not read this for probably 6 months, and I can put a solid green tick after each one, as I have achieved them all. A similar list may help if you suffer with social anxiety or depression.

All the best.

Morning! As above, well done for achieving all of your goals. That to me is really impressive given the many issues to overcome.
A lot of the steps are very familiar to me, as I am also struggling with them. The social anxiety is mostly on fear of being judged and low self confidence.
Perhaps it was due to trauma I've suffered when younger, which had a deep impact.
At my age I sometimes do think,is it too late to change? But reading through this thread gives me hope

[twohoursfromlondon]

jm8403 said:

Amazing, well done. I wish I could tick all of those!

Thanks, I’m glad it’s helpful that I shared this. Having been where I was and come back from it, if I can provide my own insight I’d love it to assist others.

I would say there should be nothing stopping you from achieving your own mental health goals. Clearly we all have different reasons for behaving or thinking the way we do, and I by no means underestimate how challenging it is. It’s all about taking it a minute at a time if needed, focus on the present and nothing else.

[twohoursfromlondon]

anxious_ant said:

Morning! As above, well done for achieving all of your goals. That to me is really impressive given the many issues to overcome.
A lot of the steps are very familiar to me, as I am also struggling with them. The social anxiety is mostly on fear of being judged and low self confidence.
Perhaps it was due to trauma I've suffered when younger, which had a deep impact.
At my age I sometimes do think,is it too late to change? But reading through this thread gives me hope

As I mention above, our childhood and/or adulthood traumas are all different, and to my mind these are a significant underlying cause of anxiety and depression.

If you can first understand and address those events then you can learn to overcome them, it’s absolutely within your hands (and your brain) to resolve it!

I was a major cynic myself all my life, however I finally put in the hard work and I can honestly say I’m living my best life now.

Was always the kind of person that hated my own birthday and the attention being on me, or people not turning up if I organised something. The truth couldn’t be further away, I’m kind of looking forward to my 50th in March!

[Skodapondy]

twohoursfromlondon said:

anxious_ant said:

Morning! As above, well done for achieving all of your goals. That to me is really impressive given the many issues to overcome.
A lot of the steps are very familiar to me, as I am also struggling with them. The social anxiety is mostly on fear of being judged and low self confidence.
Perhaps it was due to trauma I've suffered when younger, which had a deep impact.
At my age I sometimes do think,is it too late to change? But reading through this thread gives me hope

As I mention above, our childhood and/or adulthood traumas are all different, and to my mind these are a significant underlying cause of anxiety and depression.

If you can first understand and address those events then you can learn to overcome them, it’s absolutely within your hands (and your brain) to resolve it!

I was a major cynic myself all my life, however I finally put in the hard work and I can honestly say I’m living my best life now.

Was always the kind of person that hated my own birthday and the attention being on me, or people not turning up if I organised something. The truth couldn’t be further away, I’m kind of looking forward to my 50th in March!

Are you me but a year older? Am I coming out the other side of this or will it always be a part of me I have to manage carefully is the big question at the moment?

[twohoursfromlondon]

Skodapondy said:

twohoursfromlondon said:

anxious_ant said:

Morning! As above, well done for achieving all of your goals. That to me is really impressive given the many issues to overcome.
A lot of the steps are very familiar to me, as I am also struggling with them. The social anxiety is mostly on fear of being judged and low self confidence.
Perhaps it was due to trauma I've suffered when younger, which had a deep impact.
At my age I sometimes do think,is it too late to change? But reading through this thread gives me hope

As I mention above, our childhood and/or adulthood traumas are all different, and to my mind these are a significant underlying cause of anxiety and depression.

If you can first understand and address those events then you can learn to overcome them, it’s absolutely within your hands (and your brain) to resolve it!

I was a major cynic myself all my life, however I finally put in the hard work and I can honestly say I’m living my best life now.

Was always the kind of person that hated my own birthday and the attention being on me, or people not turning up if I organised something. The truth couldn’t be further away, I’m kind of looking forward to my 50th in March!

Are you me but a year older? Am I coming out the other side of this or will it always be a part of me I have to manage carefully is the big question at the moment?

Hello mate, if you’re asking me obviously I don’t know your circumstances, I can only share my own experience.

I get the very occasional mind flutter but my depression/social anxiety is pretty much under control / non-existent, so yes I strongly believe we have the ability to move on from it.

[anxious_ant]

twohoursfromlondon said:

As I mention above, our childhood and/or adulthood traumas are all different, and to my mind these are a significant underlying cause of anxiety and depression.

If you can first understand and address those events then you can learn to overcome them, it’s absolutely within your hands (and your brain) to resolve it!

I was a major cynic myself all my life, however I finally put in the hard work and I can honestly say I’m living my best life now.

Was always the kind of person that hated my own birthday and the attention being on me, or people not turning up if I organised something. The truth couldn’t be further away, I’m kind of looking forward to my 50th in March!

Indeed, the hard part is having my brain believe I can overcome it.
Shame finances doesn’t allow it, as I think therapy with a psychiatrist would definitely help. I just need someone to talk to and coach me through it. Also heard hypnosis could help, but not too sure.

[twohoursfromlondon]

anxious_ant said:

twohoursfromlondon said:

As I mention above, our childhood and/or adulthood traumas are all different, and to my mind these are a significant underlying cause of anxiety and depression.

If you can first understand and address those events then you can learn to overcome them, it’s absolutely within your hands (and your brain) to resolve it!

I was a major cynic myself all my life, however I finally put in the hard work and I can honestly say I’m living my best life now.

Was always the kind of person that hated my own birthday and the attention being on me, or people not turning up if I organised something. The truth couldn’t be further away, I’m kind of looking forward to my 50th in March!

Indeed, the hard part is having my brain believe I can overcome it.
Shame finances doesn’t allow it, as I think therapy with a psychiatrist would definitely help. I just need someone to talk to and coach me through it. Also heard hypnosis could help, but not too sure.

It’s true that therapy is not cheap, but I believe the three type of counselling/therapy I had all helped in different ways so a combination of that plus all of the other efforts I have made really helped me get through this.

While I’m not in any way qualified (aside from the journey I have been on and my own lifetime of suffering), I am happy to listen if you are so inclined. I understand exactly what social anxiety and depression feel like so my DM’s are always open.

I know how daunting these things can be as well, but I can assure you this would be in the strictest confidence and anonymity. That goes for anyone else too!

[911r]

matrignano said:

Babber101 said:

If work is the problem (it is for me too btw) having a break from it could be good but it’s only going to be doubly hard going back to it

This is what I'm most worried about.

But not coming back to my job per se (I've been in the role for 15 years so know what to expect) - it's more that I don't know how my team, colleagues and clients will react to it and treat me on my return...

I’ve just quit my job after 20 years

And will now travel for 6 months

I feel better already

[twohoursfromlondon]

911r said:

matrignano said:

Babber101 said:

If work is the problem (it is for me too btw) having a break from it could be good but it’s only going to be doubly hard going back to it

This is what I'm most worried about.

But not coming back to my job per se (I've been in the role for 15 years so know what to expect) - it's more that I don't know how my team, colleagues and clients will react to it and treat me on my return...

I’ve just quit my job after 20 years

And will now travel for 6 months

I feel better already

Yes!! Good man, that’s the spirit. Travelling is an amazing therapy in itself. Where are you off to?

[911r]

twohoursfromlondon said:

911r said:

matrignano said:

Babber101 said:

If work is the problem (it is for me too btw) having a break from it could be good but it’s only going to be doubly hard going back to it

This is what I'm most worried about.

But not coming back to my job per se (I've been in the role for 15 years so know what to expect) - it's more that I don't know how my team, colleagues and clients will react to it and treat me on my return...

I’ve just quit my job after 20 years

And will now travel for 6 months

I feel better already

Yes!! Good man, that’s the spirit. Travelling is an amazing therapy in itself. Where are you off to?

South of Spian

Not the tourist spots so much but just travel the coast and see what I like . The food and the people here are fantastic .

[Derek Smith]

twohoursfromlondon said:

911r said:

matrignano said:

Babber101 said:

If work is the problem (it is for me too btw) having a break from it could be good but it’s only going to be doubly hard going back to it

This is what I'm most worried about.

But not coming back to my job per se (I've been in the role for 15 years so know what to expect) - it's more that I don't know how my team, colleagues and clients will react to it and treat me on my return...

I’ve just quit my job after 20 years

And will now travel for 6 months

I feel better already

Yes!! Good man, that’s the spirit. Travelling is an amazing therapy in itself. Where are you off to?

I've a cousin who has a son who was something of an IT genius. He was, and rightly as it turned out, regarded as essential to the success of the small company he worked for but the pressure got to him and his relationships. When one left, he took an extended leave of absence and joined a small group cycling from Alaska to Mexico, along the west coast. He found it life-affirming. When the others returned to their daily lives, he cycled back to Alaska. Then, by various routes, through to Australia where he works(ed?) as a teacher in a school for deaf children. Happier than ever.

Wouldn't work for everyone. Works for him.

[dotty]

I appear to have developed anxiety as of January this year - well perhaps it has always been there but now it shows itself after hiding away for 42 years.

Currently trying to identify the reasons why. I have had a house move and a few life changes recently.

I generally get restless on a night , fidgety , mind starts wandering all over the place , any slight body sensation sends me to doctor google. I’m sure many can relate. Sometimes in a shop I’ll get a sense of dread and then want to get out of there asap, however it doesn’t make me fear going to a shop the next time round although I am conscious of it potentially happening again.

[heisthegaffer]

dotty said:

I appear to have developed anxiety as of January this year - well perhaps it has always been there but now it shows itself after hiding away for 42 years.

Currently trying to identify the reasons why. I have had a house move and a few life changes recently.

I generally get restless on a night , fidgety , mind starts wandering all over the place , any slight body sensation sends me to doctor google. I’m sure many can relate. Sometimes in a shop I’ll get a sense of dread and then want to get out of there asap, however it doesn’t make me fear going to a shop the next time round although I am conscious of it potentially happening again.

I've not had that exactly and it must be a little scary but I have suffered anxiety in the past.

What I do is run through a mental check list of things going on and try and reflect from an objective angle.

I'm probably not articulating myself brilliantly here but hope you get the gist!

[Babber101]

I had depression for many years that morphed into anxiety out of the blue. Now the anxiety scares me more than the depression.

Sometimes I’m just scared for no real reason - not sure what I’m scared of or why but in itself it’s frightening to behold.

I think it’s gradually getting worse and suspect it will end up where I can’t work or function. Been on drugs, seen doctors and psychologists but nothing has helped. All feels like an inevitability about it

[Babber101]

I had depression for many years that morphed into anxiety out of the blue. Now the anxiety scares me more than the depression.

Sometimes I’m just scared for no real reason - not sure what I’m scared of or why but in itself it’s frightening to behold.

I think it’s gradually getting worse and suspect it will end up where I can’t work or function. Been on drugs, seen doctors and psychologists but nothing has helped. All feels like an inevitability about it

[A500leroy]

I just remind myself ill be dead soon enough so wont have to deal with it.

[dotty]

Babber101 said:

I had depression for many years that morphed into anxiety out of the blue. Now the anxiety scares me more than the depression.

Sometimes I’m just scared for no real reason - not sure what I’m scared of or why but in itself it’s frightening to behold.

I think it’s gradually getting worse and suspect it will end up where I can’t work or function. Been on drugs, seen doctors and psychologists but nothing has helped. All feels like an inevitability about it

Scared of ..? Body sensations ? Do you get anxiety going out in social environments ?