Depression

[Jonmx]

Turn 40 this weekend. Currently in Barbados on a solo trip as a treat to myself. Can't bring myself to leave the hotel room. I have Bipolar so the depression is a regular visitor. Very empty and low. How are the other folks in this thread faring?

[daveco]

Hi All, had a quick glance over the last few pages and couldn't see anything on what I recommend so thought I'd post in the hope it helps some of you.

The therapist Phil Stutz recently made a film about his therapy with one of his patients, Jonah Hill. It encompasses a lot of tools and thought processes that can have a benefit for those who suffer from depression https://www3.stage.netflix.com/tudum/articles/stut...

Another thing I didn't see being discussed was TMS therapy. This definitely helps and certain areas of the brain can be targeted to minimise the symptoms of depression, anxiety, OCD etc.

As other have espoused, it's important to get moving and get learning. Download an app like Duolingo and/or do Sudokus, puzzles etc, anything that engages the more logical side of your brain. Memorisation is a great technique for reducing anxiety and stopping the cortical hamster wheel.

[Peanut Gallery]

Sorry to hear that!

Enjoy some sun, solid cloud here which doesn't do much good! Father isn't doing much better either and refuses any thoughts of meds.

[Ruskie]

OP here. 10 been excellent and 1 at my worst, I’m about a 4 most of the time. Very little enjoyment in life, and I find I’m acting most of the day, but then that makes people want to engage more, so I act more, then I’m exhausted etc.

[tonyvid]

Jonmx said:

Turn 40 this weekend. Currently in Barbados on a solo trip as a treat to myself. Can't bring myself to leave the hotel room. I have Bipolar so the depression is a regular visitor. Very empty and low. How are the other folks in this thread faring?

Sorry to hear that, please try to get yourself out into the sun, even if to quietly sit under a tree and look at the sea - it will help. 10/10 for getting yourself off on a sunny holiday, when I was struggling I couldn't face doing that even though friends offered apartments etc. Go on, get down to the pool or the shore and have a pina colada

[havoc]

Definitely get yourself out to the beach.

Find somewhere quiet, sheltered and away from people if it helps, and either sit back and listen to the waves, or put some headphones on and listen to tunes. As above, Vitamin D and sunlight will definitely help.

...just avoid the rum punches, they're bloody lethal!



PS - not sure if you snorkel or not, but if you do and you can find any motivation, get youself up to the West coast...Paynes Bay / Folkstone areas in particular. Back when I was feeling particularly st just before lockdown, I took myself to Sharm for a week, as I knew that being in the water would be a real boost.

[twohoursfromlondon]

Morning all, hope everyone is keeping well and staying strong, I know, from experience, it can be a very tricky time of the year.

I’ve not posted in here for a while since I’ve been on a pretty deep but transformational journey over the course of the year.

From being on the verge in March, to a place today when I’ve never been happier, my smile is genuine and my outlook on life is completely different.

I’ll keep dropping back in though, as it was actually this thread and the sheer amount of support you guys and girls offered which gave me the courage to write about and share my story in the first place.

Sending positive vibes to all of you.

[jayymannon]

twohoursfromlondon said:

Morning all, hope everyone is keeping well and staying strong, I know, from experience, it can be a very tricky time of the year.

I’ve not posted in here for a while since I’ve been on a pretty deep but transformational journey over the course of the year.

From being on the verge in March, to a place today when I’ve never been happier, my smile is genuine and my outlook on life is completely different.

I’ll keep dropping back in though, as it was actually this thread and the sheer amount of support you guys and girls offered which gave me the courage to write about and share my story in the first place.

Sending positive vibes to all of you.

Any thoughts/advice for people who want/need to do the same?
Thanks.

[twohoursfromlondon]

jayymannon said:

twohoursfromlondon said:

Morning all, hope everyone is keeping well and staying strong, I know, from experience, it can be a very tricky time of the year.

I’ve not posted in here for a while since I’ve been on a pretty deep but transformational journey over the course of the year.

From being on the verge in March, to a place today when I’ve never been happier, my smile is genuine and my outlook on life is completely different.

I’ll keep dropping back in though, as it was actually this thread and the sheer amount of support you guys and girls offered which gave me the courage to write about and share my story in the first place.

Sending positive vibes to all of you.

Any thoughts/advice for people who want/need to do the same?
Thanks.

I posted on this previously and have linked the page, hopefully - https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

I came off the AD’s around a month or more ago and have felt spot on, thinking clearly and not worrying about the stuff I used to. I travelled extensively this year and reconnecting with friends, family and the world seems to have got me out of the rut I was in.

I hope you find something which helps you too.

[jayymannon]

Cheers!

I'm glad things are going well.

[Feirny]

Ruskie said:

OP here. 10 been excellent and 1 at my worst, I’m about a 4 most of the time. Very little enjoyment in life, and I find I’m acting most of the day, but then that makes people want to engage more, so I act more, then I’m exhausted etc.

I think you’ve just described my life and I never realised that this was me.

[twohoursfromlondon]

jayymannon said:

Cheers!

I'm glad things are going well.

You’re very welcome, and thank you

[twohoursfromlondon]

Feirny said:

Ruskie said:

OP here. 10 been excellent and 1 at my worst, I’m about a 4 most of the time. Very little enjoyment in life, and I find I’m acting most of the day, but then that makes people want to engage more, so I act more, then I’m exhausted etc.

I think you’ve just described my life and I never realised that this was me.

“Me time” is really important, so don’t feel like you have to put on an act constantly. I also put on a persona all my life, it was the only way I thought I could cope, until I realised I really didn’t need to, and things are just fine since.

Try to do things on your own terms, and if you don’t fancy doing something then don’t, that’s fine too. No one will think any less of you.

The exhaustion you describe is very common and completely understandable, as your brain/body is working overtime to try and cope.

[Tekno]

So, would appear my old friend is back.

Some may recall that my partner took her life in March and whilst busy with a career change at that time (HGV), which ultimately went to pony, I don’t think I properly took enough time to process and deal. I jacked the HGV in a month ago and went back to multi drop DPD style. A firm I’ve been with before, I had planned to help them out until Christmas Eve but had to finish on Friday in order to preserve my sanity.

Partners inquest is on Wednesday, I start suicide loss related therapy on Thursday.

Don’t feel like myself at all, I’m anxious 24/7 as it is (standard) and have been in the game long enough to know the old friend is back. I’ve been reducing escitalopram for over a year and presently take 1/4 of a tablet. It’s been a bd getting this far reducing the dose so loath to increase but I don’t see any other options. May try GP next week.

I should feel pleased that I’ve finished early for Christmas but I just feel numb.

Plan is to overhaul my CV, get my st together and return to office work in the new year.

I’ve also gone from owning a 4 bed detached with double garage and toys to recently moving out of a rental property (partly due to being away all week with HGV and paying £1,400 pcm inc bills) to living in a caravan on my mothers driveway. This isn’t helping.

I also have a challenging 13 yr old son that is autistic amongst many other diagnoses and he’s being a handful at the moment.

So there we have it, total st show of a position. I know many are in worse positions so should be grateful but I really do feel like st presently.

ETA, seeing an old flame that I fell for at the courier outfit again and have her ignore me and generally be a tit has also not helped. She’s aware of the situation regarding my partners suicide and, naively thought she’d overcome any chip on her shoulders. I sent her a message on Friday when I left that she hasn’t read and m whilst it sounds a bit school playground, her being a nob also played its part in resigning from the job as I couldn’t deal with that on top of everything else.

Edited by Tekno on Sunday 4th December 17:00

[M3ax]

Tekno said:

So, would appear my old friend is back.

Some may recall that my partner took her life in March and whilst busy with a career change at that time (HGV), which ultimately went to pony, I don’t think I properly took enough time to process and deal. I jacked the HGV in a month ago and went back to multi drop DPD style. A firm I’ve been with before, I had planned to help them out until Christmas Eve but had to finish on Friday in order to preserve my sanity.

Partners inquest is on Wednesday, I start suicide loss related therapy on Thursday.

Don’t feel like myself at all, I’m anxious 24/7 as it is (standard) and have been in the game long enough to know the old friend is back. I’ve been reducing escitalopram for over a year and presently take 1/4 of a tablet. It’s been a bd getting this far reducing the dose so loath to increase but I don’t see any other options. May try GP next week.

I should feel pleased that I’ve finished early for Christmas but I just feel numb.

Plan is to overhaul my CV, get my st together and return to office work in the new year.

I’ve also gone from owning a 4 bed detached with double garage and toys to recently moving out of a rental property (partly due to being away all week with HGV and paying £1,400 pcm inc bills) to living in a caravan on my mothers driveway. This isn’t helping.

I also have a challenging 13 yr old son that is autistic amongst many other diagnoses and he’s being a handful at the moment.

So there we have it, total st show of a position. I know many are in worse positions so should be grateful but I really do feel like st presently.

ETA, seeing an old flame that I fell for at the courier outfit again and have her ignore me and generally be a tit has also not helped. She’s aware of the situation regarding my partners suicide and, naively thought she’d overcome any chip on her shoulders. I sent her a message on Friday when I left that she hasn’t read and m whilst it sounds a bit school playground, her being a nob also played its part in resigning from the job as I couldn’t deal with that on top of everything else.

Edited by Tekno on Sunday 4th December 17:00

Hi mate. I’m not sure I can say anything to help but I saw your post and I would hate to think that you feel nobody cares. I’ve been meaning to post on here myself for months but haven’t managed to find the words. It sounds like you have so many things going on. One thing I’ve tried to do is to kind of compartmentalise all the different things .in other words, trying not to deal with everything at once. One thing at a time etc. doesn’t always work for me but I try. Take care mate.

[havoc]

M3ax said:

Hi mate. I’m not sure I can say anything to help but I saw your post and I would hate to think that you feel nobody cares. I’ve been meaning to post on here myself for months but haven’t managed to find the words. It sounds like you have so many things going on. One thing I’ve tried to do is to kind of compartmentalise all the different things .in other words, trying not to deal with everything at once. One thing at a time etc. doesn’t always work for me but I try. Take care mate.

Agree with all that.

Make sure you get some help (sounds like you are, but possibly more professional too - has he had any counselling yet?) with your son. If you know you don't need to be worrying about him 24/7 it'll give you the emotional headspace to get on with some of the other st going on.

[DeuceDeuce]

I hope all the followers of this thread are doing well over Christmas and thank you for offering up your experiences.

I’m posting because we’ve just had another family get-together cancelled due to my mother’s depression so I’m looking to see if anyone can help me better understand depression and what I can do to support her in getting better?

Have you found family members can make made a real difference in your recovery (sorry if I’m getting the language wrong) or does getting better rely on the individual?

[MGZTV8]

The best advice from me would just be there for her and try not to offer advice as, although well meaning, it really is down to the individual to work through it themselves.

The mind is very complex especially in such circumstances and it’s a horrible place to be and time really is the only thing that will help along with an arm round you.

Personally I hate Christmas despite the fact I have a lovely wife and two children (who are now grown up). I put on a brave face but cannot wait for it to be over and this is the same every year. I can’t put my finger on why I feel like this (again it’s very complex) but as we are now through “the big day” I can feel myself slowly coming through the other side.

[jm8403]

MGZTV8 said:

The best advice from me would just be there for her and try not to offer advice as, although well meaning, it really is down to the individual to work through it themselves.

The mind is very complex especially in such circumstances and it’s a horrible place to be and time really is the only thing that will help along with an arm round you.

Personally I hate Christmas despite the fact I have a lovely wife and two children (who are now grown up). I put on a brave face but cannot wait for it to be over and this is the same every year. I can’t put my finger on why I feel like this (again it’s very complex) but as we are now through “the big day” I can feel myself slowly coming through the other side.

+1 - thousands of 'merry xmas / hope youre having a great day' is well meaning but doesn't help at all.

[Marcellus]

I think for a lot of people suffering from some form of depression Christmas is just ste!

I time when they know they're "supposed to be happy" as its a happy time of year but they just don't feel it... they know they "should" but they don't which makes them feel worse..... if they put a brave face on it for the day to see family then run the risk of troughing in the days after...... just be there for them if they wish but not if they don't and ffs don't tell them to cheer up!

How they are is how they are and it's ok, next Christmas might not be the same.