Depression

[weeboot]

SturdyHSV said:

weeboot said:

Anyone struggling with loneliness? Seriously lacking in a network of friends to get support from here. Drinking works, but is obviously REALLY not a good way to deal with anything...

I'm lucky in having some very understanding friends around me that, although I withdraw from them far too often, I always know they're there if I need and that I can talk to them if I want. I've had to really cut down the drinking over the last few months, I'd say the last 18 months I've developed some really bad habits and it's been a case of just having to not have any alcohol in the house, which is a pretty poor state of affairs!

This thread is pretty quiet a lot of the time, but if nothing else it can be cathartic to put thoughts down here so don't be a stranger!

I'm failing on the discipline front, so even if there's nothing to drink in the house, I'll just pop out and get some... and then potentially pop out and get some more.

I did a series of brain dumps last time I was feeling rocked, spoke to camera and stuck them on youtube. That was a good way of getting things out of my head. Doesn't counter the isolation though.

The YouTube stuff is here if you want to hear me prattle on..
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpct_VsIaw-L...

Edited by weeboot on Monday 14th August 13:29

[xjay1337]

giblets_ said:

Thanks man & Others that have responded.

Im just feeling in a really hollow place at the moment; I was fine with things ending for a few weeks but now I'm an absolute mess and I just feel sick everytime I think of anything to do with her. Just the sheer coldness I received. I was convinced I would marry her and now she's already with someone else with no remorse or care.

I really don't know how I'm going to work through this, but I guess I'll have to - We all go through heartbreak and misery.

You will be surprised if you are in her position one day in the future.

I remember one of my first serious GF's I was totally in love with blah blah even though I was miserable and my mates knew it too. But I didn't listen to their advice.

When we eventually broke up she seemed so cold and I was frustrated and upset at how it didn't seem to bother her. But I took a couple of weeks off work signed off and eventually after many months I was "better".

Fast forward a few years when I broke up with an ex of mine (comedy thread on here somewhere) I didn't really "care" as I had mentally left the relationship a long time ago so I was the one who was probably coming across as cold.

There will always be women out there for you bud even if it doesn't seem like it now or if it's not what you want to hear. Do not focus on quantity of friends but quality.
I only have 4 or 5 people who I'd quantity as close friends as in if I was in real trouble they would always be there no matter what. And another 2 or 3 who are just good mates who I can have a chat with... The rest are just acquaintances of varying levels of quality.

[giblets_]

johnwilliams77 said:

Can you keep yourself busy? This will be hard to believe but the busier you keep (active, if possible), hopefully, the easier it will be to move on. This time in a few month, you will wonder what all the fuss was about. At least you're not losing hundreds of thousands and moving to a bedsit in a dodgy area - like many failed marriages Chin up!

I work full time, but because of my anxiety and paired with this I find it difficult to drag myself in sometimes and it makes things worse.

[giblets_]

xjay1337 said:

You will be surprised if you are in her position one day in the future.

I remember one of my first serious GF's I was totally in love with blah blah even though I was miserable and my mates knew it too. But I didn't listen to their advice.

When we eventually broke up she seemed so cold and I was frustrated and upset at how it didn't seem to bother her. But I took a couple of weeks off work signed off and eventually after many months I was "better".

Fast forward a few years when I broke up with an ex of mine (comedy thread on here somewhere) I didn't really "care" as I had mentally left the relationship a long time ago so I was the one who was probably coming across as cold.

There will always be women out there for you bud even if it doesn't seem like it now or if it's not what you want to hear. Do not focus on quantity of friends but quality.
I only have 4 or 5 people who I'd quantity as close friends as in if I was in real trouble they would always be there no matter what. And another 2 or 3 who are just good mates who I can have a chat with... The rest are just acquaintances of varying levels of quality.

Thanks man. I guess karma is a funny thing; Through the end of the relationship I was the cold and switched off one, I had started to neglect things. She was always the one putting in the work; So I guess im just torn up knowing that someone else is now getting that, in such a short space of time.

Either way, whoevers fault. Shes entitled to move on, I just didnt thinK i would plunge this far down

[SturdyHSV]

weeboot said:

I'm failing on the discipline front, so even if there's nothing to drink in the house, I'll just pop out and get some... and then potentially pop out and get some more.

I did a series of brain dumps last time I was feeling rocked, spoke to camera and stuck them on youtube. That was a good way of getting things out of my head. Doesn't counter the isolation though.

The YouTube stuff is here if you want to hear me prattle on..
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpct_VsIaw-L...

I found a lot of the difficulty with discipline is that fundamentally I didn't really care about myself, and to an extent saw getting drunk as both a way to numb things but also a form of self punishment.

I'm at work at the moment but I'll give those a watch, it's a good idea and quite brave to be honest, good for you (perhaps that's not the best choice of emoji )

I bet if anything it could contribute to the feeling of isolation, when a video of a cat looking miserable gets 50,000,000 views, you could easily feel a bit insignificant in comparison!

[SturdyHSV]

weeboot said:

I'm failing on the discipline front, so even if there's nothing to drink in the house, I'll just pop out and get some... and then potentially pop out and get some more.

I did a series of brain dumps last time I was feeling rocked, spoke to camera and stuck them on youtube. That was a good way of getting things out of my head. Doesn't counter the isolation though.

The YouTube stuff is here if you want to hear me prattle on..
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpct_VsIaw-L...

Finally actually got around to watching them

The first few seemed like you were working towards getting some quite serious feelings out, then things seemed to have improved over the rest of the videos and there was perhaps less insight / actual dumping? Obviously they seemed to end well, and I really want a cheese toastie now, but why did you stop?

[xjay1337]

Had my first face to face CBT yesterday.

Nothing really to report, most of it we did confidentiality paperwork and a quick outline of my family tree / relationship / work situation.

Apparently next week they start getting into the nitty gritty.

[al1991]

xjay1337 said:

Had my first face to face CBT yesterday.

Nothing really to report, most of it we did confidentiality paperwork and a quick outline of my family tree / relationship / work situation.

Apparently next week they start getting into the nitty gritty.

I would be interested to hear what you think of the second and subsequent sessions if you'd be happy to share.

[TartanPaint]

I've been on a ketogenic diet for a while (very low carb) and one thing that keeps coming up again and again on keto forums is that it has completely cured depression and anxiety (as in, completely off all meds) as an unintended side-effect of the diet. I haven't seen anyone specifically try keto to help with depression. It seems to be something people have stumbled upon by accident. It might be worth a look for some here? The diet works by regulating insulin release (and other hormones too I guess) so there is a potential mechanism there by which this might work. Whatever is going on, it's definitely more than a placebo.

I just thought I'd mention it, as it has worked for me, and maybe somebody here might like to give it a go.

[xjay1337]

al1991 said:

I would be interested to hear what you think of the second and subsequent sessions if you'd be happy to share.

I will. My sessions are every Tuesday.

[shirt]

I'll keep this intentionally brief (may discuss more at a later point but let's see).

I've been seeing a psychologist for the past 2mths. Talking therapies only but last session I decided to ask for something more prescriptive. Literally just come out of seeing the psychiatrist and have been prescribed Valdoxan. 25mg only, nothing else.

Quick google makes me think I haven't really been listened to at all for the past hour. Wondering if anyone here has any experience with this medication?

[xjay1337]

al1991 said:

I would be interested to hear what you think of the second and subsequent sessions if you'd be happy to share.

Second session was OK.
We went over the familiar thoughts feelings behaviour circle however I have to admit that I never really understood it looking online but having the therapist explain it and go through it with me did help my understanding.

Still much to go through but for now I think it seems to be more of a positive thing than a negative.

[SturdyHSV]

xjay1337 said:

Still much to go through but for now I think it seems to be more of a positive thing than a negative.

That's good to hear

For me it was having someone point out the mistakes or cycles of thought being indicated as I was talking was the most helpful for me, just the fact that it pointed out some fundamentally 'wrong' things you've just learned to consider fact that you're basing your judgements / opinions on.

[xjay1337]

SturdyHSV said:

That's good to hear

For me it was having someone point out the mistakes or cycles of thought being indicated as I was talking was the most helpful for me, just the fact that it pointed out some fundamentally 'wrong' things you've just learned to consider fact that you're basing your judgements / opinions on.

Quite so - that has been helpful so far. We've only had a couple of situations so far, there will be more over the next few sessions I believe.

I had thought the face to face CBT would be useless but so far it's actually been a million times more beneficial than the online stuff.

[Alrey87]

Pretty sure I've been suffering from depression for a long time undiagnosed. I can't get out of bed in the mornings, I remember springing out feeling refreshed when I was younger but for the last 5 years or so i feel 10x worse in the morning than I did before going to sleep. Constantly late for work despite being in disciplinary for it on several occasions. Constant fatigue. Feel very empty, nothing really excites me or look forward to anything even if something exciting is happening. Constant thoughts of pointlessness of everything. On days off work I think of things to do but end up doing nothing as I find a reason why doing anything is pointless.

I've seen a gp about the tiredness and physical causes all ruled out. Didn't answer truthfully on the depression questionaire he gave me to fill in as didn't want to admit to occasional thoughts of suicide etc and as such didn't quite score as "depressed." Which I realise was stupid. Is there any hope of regaining my energy, can medication help with that? I feel like if I can get some of the energy back I can help myself to a large extent. I'm only just about to turn 30 and otherwise very healthy, work out 4 x a week, no financial stress or any other real problems.

[Soov330e]

Alrey87 said:

Pretty sure I've been suffering from depression for a long time undiagnosed. I can't get out of bed in the mornings, I remember springing out feeling refreshed when I was younger but for the last 5 years or so i feel 10x worse in the morning than I did before going to sleep. Constantly late for work despite being in disciplinary for it on several occasions. Constant fatigue. Feel very empty, nothing really excites me or look forward to anything even if something exciting is happening. Constant thoughts of pointlessness of everything. On days off work I think of things to do but end up doing nothing as I find a reason why doing anything is pointless.

I've seen a gp about the tiredness and physical causes all ruled out. Didn't answer truthfully on the depression questionaire he gave me to fill in as didn't want to admit to occasional thoughts of suicide etc and as such didn't quite score as "depressed." Which I realise was stupid. Is there any hope of regaining my energy, can medication help with that? I feel like if I can get some of the energy back I can help myself to a large extent. I'm only just about to turn 30 and otherwise very healthy, work out 4 x a week, no financial stress or any other real problems.

Sounds to me like a classic case of Clinical Depression.

1. GP, now. And tell the fking truth this time, you absolute plum.
2. Medication will help a great deal, but takes a few weeks to kick in
3. Good luck, there are more of us than you think.

[grumbledoak]

Alrey87 said:

Pretty sure I've been suffering from depression for a long time undiagnosed. I can't get out of bed in the mornings, I remember springing out feeling refreshed when I was younger but for the last 5 years or so i feel 10x worse in the morning than I did before going to sleep. Constantly late for work despite being in disciplinary for it on several occasions. Constant fatigue. Feel very empty, nothing really excites me or look forward to anything even if something exciting is happening. Constant thoughts of pointlessness of everything. On days off work I think of things to do but end up doing nothing as I find a reason why doing anything is pointless.

I've seen a gp about the tiredness and physical causes all ruled out. Didn't answer truthfully on the depression questionaire he gave me to fill in as didn't want to admit to occasional thoughts of suicide etc and as such didn't quite score as "depressed." Which I realise was stupid. Is there any hope of regaining my energy, can medication help with that? I feel like if I can get some of the energy back I can help myself to a large extent. I'm only just about to turn 30 and otherwise very healthy, work out 4 x a week, no financial stress or any other real problems.

Well, life is pointless. You aren't wrong Seriously. You have to make up your own reasons. Find your own fun.

You do sound depressed. Go answer the GP's questionnaire properly. Try the pills. They won't make you happy or give you energy, they just remove the feeling that there isn't even a bulb at the end of your tunnel. But if that lets you see more clearly, you can plan, and act.

[mat13]

Just wanted to check in, long story short I've struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life but only recently sought help as I seem to be a bit down a hole at the minute.

It's been pointed out to me that I meet a lot of the characteristics of adult ADHD and I am currently waiting for a referral.

I have been prescribed trazadone by my gp, anyone have any experience of this? Haven't noticed any positive reactions yet (only on day five of taking it though) but have suffered a few of the side affects such as dry mouth and dizziness.

Starting to clutch at straws a bit and have had a few stupid thoughts lately, a lot of it brought on that my relationship is on the rocks and I have a kid on the way, part of me wants to battle this to be there for the kid, part of me thinks a breakup is inevitable and I can't bear the thought of being a weekend part time dad and that I would be better off away from everyone. Don't really have anyone I feel comfortable talking with so thought I would try typing it up.

[xjay1337]

While mental health can be a strain on a relationship it's worth thinking is the mental health causing relationship issues or is the relationship causing mental health issues.

Put yourself first. That is key for now.

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

Alrey87 said:

Pretty sure I've been suffering from depression for a long time undiagnosed. I can't get out of bed in the mornings, I remember springing out feeling refreshed when I was younger but for the last 5 years or so i feel 10x worse in the morning than I did before going to sleep. Constantly late for work despite being in disciplinary for it on several occasions. Constant fatigue. Feel very empty, nothing really excites me or look forward to anything even if something exciting is happening. Constant thoughts of pointlessness of everything. On days off work I think of things to do but end up doing nothing as I find a reason why doing anything is pointless.

I've seen a gp about the tiredness and physical causes all ruled out. Didn't answer truthfully on the depression questionaire he gave me to fill in as didn't want to admit to occasional thoughts of suicide etc and as such didn't quite score as "depressed." Which I realise was stupid. Is there any hope of regaining my energy, can medication help with that? I feel like if I can get some of the energy back I can help myself to a large extent. I'm only just about to turn 30 and otherwise very healthy, work out 4 x a week, no financial stress or any other real problems.

Thought I'd respond, as at times this is similar to where I have been.

Firstly, I would talk to your work, to explain where you're at (being clear that you're not trying to justify timekeeping) They have an obligation to take it seriously, for them to understand your situation.

You don't mention any medication, but St Johns Wort is a fairly good 'pick me up' for moods, and when I've used it found it side effect free. Walking daily for an hour of an evening is also a good natural way to lift your spirits. Do you have any pets? We have 3 dogs, and they're very therapeutic to me. Not suggesting you just go out and and get a dog (!) but there are many types of pets, maybe one to consider?

Finally, and I think you know this already, go back to your doctor, be honest with him, and make sure he takes you seriously.

All the best.