90% chance we'll miscarry...
Discussion
i'm devastated.
I'm posting this under an alias.
Three days ago we were told we were 6 weeks pregnant. So off we went to the gynecologist. We tell him she has been spotting, he says the scan shows the...baby? cells? I dont know, is under developed, no heartbeat yet but to go back in 12 days and he will be able to tell us more. He says by now there should be a heartbeat, but it can develop at some point in the next 12 days.
The spotting stops for a little while and the Mrs has been getting all the right signs, cravings, morning sickness etc..., but then it returns. We've just come back from a different gynecologist who said that there is a 90% chance we'll miscarry, and even if we dont there is a 9.99% chance the child would be disabled and only a 0.01% chance of it being healthy.
I'm trying to not get upset infront of my Mrs, but she has caught me having a cry when I thought I would be alone for a few mins. I dont know why I feel I have to tell a bunch of strangers on the internet, but I need get it off my chest.
I'm posting this under an alias.
Three days ago we were told we were 6 weeks pregnant. So off we went to the gynecologist. We tell him she has been spotting, he says the scan shows the...baby? cells? I dont know, is under developed, no heartbeat yet but to go back in 12 days and he will be able to tell us more. He says by now there should be a heartbeat, but it can develop at some point in the next 12 days.
The spotting stops for a little while and the Mrs has been getting all the right signs, cravings, morning sickness etc..., but then it returns. We've just come back from a different gynecologist who said that there is a 90% chance we'll miscarry, and even if we dont there is a 9.99% chance the child would be disabled and only a 0.01% chance of it being healthy.
I'm trying to not get upset infront of my Mrs, but she has caught me having a cry when I thought I would be alone for a few mins. I dont know why I feel I have to tell a bunch of strangers on the internet, but I need get it off my chest.
Countdown said:
Op - very bad luck.
Happened to us but it was at a relatively early stage. The only advice I can give is to be there for your partner. Whatever you're feeling, it will be substantially worse for her.
Completely agree. A close friend's daughter passed away not that long ago and all you can do is be there for her. Happened to us but it was at a relatively early stage. The only advice I can give is to be there for your partner. Whatever you're feeling, it will be substantially worse for her.
Sorry to hear that OP, its certainly not pleasant, be there for the other half and dont let her blame herself.
Unfortunately its not uncommon at all, when I was in your boots depending on the doc/nurse we spoke to it was anywhere between 1 in 10 and 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscariage. I remember being horrified at those statistics but apparently It's the bodies way of saying everything wasn't quite right this time.
Good luck whatever you do and whatever happens.
Unfortunately its not uncommon at all, when I was in your boots depending on the doc/nurse we spoke to it was anywhere between 1 in 10 and 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscariage. I remember being horrified at those statistics but apparently It's the bodies way of saying everything wasn't quite right this time.
Good luck whatever you do and whatever happens.
Very sorry to hear this OP.
I know from our own experience a few years ago that this is a pretty hideous time.
As others have said - loads of support to your OH is the order of the day. I would also say that we found that reminding ourselves that these things happens for a reason was helpful.
Oh, and don't be afraid to tell anyone who gives you the benefit of their opinion on what you 'should' do or who sits in judgement on any choices that you make to boil their heads
I know from our own experience a few years ago that this is a pretty hideous time.
As others have said - loads of support to your OH is the order of the day. I would also say that we found that reminding ourselves that these things happens for a reason was helpful.
Oh, and don't be afraid to tell anyone who gives you the benefit of their opinion on what you 'should' do or who sits in judgement on any choices that you make to boil their heads
We went to the hospital at 7 weeks with our first after some spotting. The GP got it shorted out and we went and had a scan, it did at the time reveal a heart beat and we went on to go full term. We also got told at the time that it was sometimes difficult to find the HB and you may get asked to come back in a few days to try again.
Missus is now pregnant again. I know its hard but the way we looked at it until you are 12 weeks gone it is likely/possible for there to be problems. Just take it in your stride and play it as it comes.
Friends of ours had three miscarriages last year and have had there 2nd this year.
If it meant to be it will be. Best of luck and hope everything works out.
Missus is now pregnant again. I know its hard but the way we looked at it until you are 12 weeks gone it is likely/possible for there to be problems. Just take it in your stride and play it as it comes.
Friends of ours had three miscarriages last year and have had there 2nd this year.
If it meant to be it will be. Best of luck and hope everything works out.
Mate, that's awful...very sorry to hear this. It really is out of your control so there really isn't much you personally can do other than be supportive to the Mrs. Of course you are feeling it too, so sheding a tear or two is perfectly normal. Fingers crossed that thngs turn out for you, I really hope so.
Good luck.
Good luck.
ILoveMondeo said:
Unfortunately its not uncommon at all, when I was in your boots depending on the doc/nurse we spoke to it was anywhere between 1 in 10 and 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscariage. I remember being horrified at those statistics but apparently It's the bodies way of saying everything wasn't quite right this time.
From what I understand it is 1 in 4 of all pregnancies and 1 in 10 of known pregnancies. I.e. the majority of miscarriages happen before the first missed period and hence the period is not missed and the woman never finds out she was pregnant. Miscarriage is very common and not spoken about so no one is prepared for it. OP we had similar in that there was spotting and not detectable heartbeat during a scan. We had to wait until they could be certain there was no heartbeat. At the second scan my wife was historically crying assuming the inevitable and the technician was just doing her job. I looked at the screen and asked the tech to explain what she was looking at. "the heart beat".
Keep in there and if things do turn out bad be there for your partner.
Sorry to hear this OP.
We're just about to go through our third lot of IVF. I don't what scares me the most. No results again or she gets pregnant whch opens up the chance of a miscarriage - I don't think I could bear to see my awesome, awesome wife that upset. Of course everything could go swimmingly - I guess its a risk we have to take.
I feel for all of you.
We're just about to go through our third lot of IVF. I don't what scares me the most. No results again or she gets pregnant whch opens up the chance of a miscarriage - I don't think I could bear to see my awesome, awesome wife that upset. Of course everything could go swimmingly - I guess its a risk we have to take.
I feel for all of you.
It's a horrible experience, we went through it twice last year and even the second time around it was devastating.
Like others have said though, it's often the body's way of not accepting the pregnancy, not everything is right from the get-go so it aborts.
Feel for you and hope that in the coming months everything picks up for you
It certainly did for us, now some 6 months into pregnancy.
Like others have said though, it's often the body's way of not accepting the pregnancy, not everything is right from the get-go so it aborts.
Feel for you and hope that in the coming months everything picks up for you
It certainly did for us, now some 6 months into pregnancy. I know this sounds harsh, but our consultant said something to us that until I heard it I never even thought about it, but not every pregnancy leads to a baby, and sometimes it is the body's way of saying not this time, doesn't' mean never, or even in a few months, but for whatever reason not now.
We have been through the trauma of a still birth, 2 weeks after the due date, and also another miscarriage at 8 weeks ... I feel your pain, all the hopes & expectations of what should be the happiest time of your life shattered, but just be there for each other, and be upset in front of your Mrs, you have to face this together, and although everyone deals with things in a different way, for us, if anything it has made us stronger together.
We are not particularly spiritual about these things, but at the end of the day you can't fight nature.
There are lots of good support forums out there that your Mrs or you may be interested in or may help. PM me if you want any info.
x
We have been through the trauma of a still birth, 2 weeks after the due date, and also another miscarriage at 8 weeks ... I feel your pain, all the hopes & expectations of what should be the happiest time of your life shattered, but just be there for each other, and be upset in front of your Mrs, you have to face this together, and although everyone deals with things in a different way, for us, if anything it has made us stronger together.
We are not particularly spiritual about these things, but at the end of the day you can't fight nature.
There are lots of good support forums out there that your Mrs or you may be interested in or may help. PM me if you want any info.
x
rswift said:
....We have been through the trauma of a still birth, 2 weeks after the due date, and also another miscarriage at 8 weeks ... I feel your pain....
Now that really is the worst possible scenario, devastating.My Mrs miscarried after our 2nd go at IVF worked - and then failed after 8 weeks. That was tough as we knew we'd have to go through the whole process again which is nasty. She got preggers natrually 2 days before starting the next round of IVF drugs and we know have 2 healthy girls. That was after trying for 7-8 years.
OP - it's s
t but you get thruogh it and it works itself out in the end, good luck!!Hello.
Firstly I would like to thank everyone for their kind words. We did miscarry, it was a few days after my original post, but, to be honest, I was scared to look back into this thread. Silly I know, especially after having seen everyone's supportive comments.
SWMBO is doing well, obviously we are a bit upset, but we are doing alot better.
Thank you
ET.
Firstly I would like to thank everyone for their kind words. We did miscarry, it was a few days after my original post, but, to be honest, I was scared to look back into this thread. Silly I know, especially after having seen everyone's supportive comments.
SWMBO is doing well, obviously we are a bit upset, but we are doing alot better.
Thank you
ET.
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