Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly

[Tumbler]

skeggysteve said:

Now we are just numb. There is nothing we can do.

Don't really know why I posted. Sorry.

Please don't apologies for posting or think there is nothing you can do, your son and his wife are going to need some support, pop over to the Macmillan community, there is a forum for families plus a dedicated one for bowel cancer, the information on Macmllian is practical and informative, they have a booklet to cover everything and a helpline.

Edited by Tumbler on Saturday 23 September 07:45

[johnxjsc1985]

skeggysteve said:

Been told today that our 29 year old son has bowl and also possibly kidney cancer.

Apparently the the thing is to big to operate on as it could cause to much damage to stuff around the tumour.

He got married a couple of months ago, a very happy day for all especially us, his mum and dad.

Now we are just numb. There is nothing we can do.

Don't really know why I posted. Sorry.

That's terrible news mate feel for all of you as you will find many people on here will do what we can to support you.
Feel free to come on and get things of your chest or just have a good ramble to clear your head.
Take care.

[skeggysteve]

Thanks for the replies and the support, it means a lot.

If you don't mind I will post in the hope that writing it down helps.

My wife spoke to him today and he's quite bright, he has a meeting on Monday with all the doctors that will be involved with his care, private hospital.

It's not affected his liver but his lymf (sp) nodes, the tumour is 7 - 10 cm and is wrapped around his bowl so the first thing they are going to do is fit him with a stoma before they give him chemotherapy. As it is wrapped around his bowl they can't cut it out as it might damage his bowl.

My wife is diabetic so her blood sugar levels are all over the place.

I'm just operating on auto pilot, I haven't even cried. Is this normal?

[johnxjsc1985]

skeggysteve said:

Thanks for the replies and the support, it means a lot.

If you don't mind I will post in the hope that writing it down helps.

My wife spoke to him today and he's quite bright, he has a meeting on Monday with all the doctors that will be involved with his care, private hospital.

It's not affected his liver but his lymf (sp) nodes, the tumour is 7 - 10 cm and is wrapped around his bowl so the first thing they are going to do is fit him with a stoma before they give him chemotherapy. As it is wrapped around his bowl they can't cut it out as it might damage his bowl.

My wife is diabetic so her blood sugar levels are all over the place.

I'm just operating on auto pilot, I haven't even cried. Is this normal?

at this point you must hope for the best because that's all you have practicalities can come late remain as positive you can in very difficult circumstances.
People can and do survive this.

[Tumbler]

I was diagnosed in May 17 and I haven't cried yet, and neither has my husband, I have no idea what is 'normal' it is all a bit of a whirlwind my feet haven't touched the ground as it is constant appointments, treatment and medication.

I think you just work to get yourself in to a rhythm and try and keep things together one day at a time.

Chemotherapy has so far been managable for me, my cocktail comes with all the usual side effects, I have wanted to quit twice, but once it's in your system you are stuck with it so I am just accepting that my body is going to dictate and my mind needs to go with it.

Edited by Tumbler on Saturday 23 September 20:13

[CharlesdeGaulle]

skeggysteve said:

Been told today that our 29 year old son has bowl and also possibly kidney cancer... Now we are just numb. There is nothing we can do.

Don't really know why I posted. Sorry.

skeggysteve - there is lots you can do, and you'll be doing it already. Be there for your son. Talk to him, hold him when he wavers, look after him and his family. Be his dad. Show him you love him. It's an awful thing for him and you, but just be there. Good luck, and stay strong.

Post away, and don't apologise. Do it as much as you want.

[johnxjsc1985]

Tumbler said:

I was diagnosed in May 17 and I haven't cried yet, and neither has my husband, I have no idea what is 'normal' it is all a bit of a whirlwind my feet haven't touched the ground as it is constant appointments, treatment and medication.

I think you just work to get yourself in to a rhythm and try and keep things together one day at a time.

Chemotherapy has so far been managable for me, my cocktail comes with all the usual side effects, I have wanted to quit twice, but once it's in your system you are stuck with it so I am just accepting that my body is going to dictate and my mind needs to go with it.

Edited by Tumbler on Saturday 23 September 20:13

my friend was given 3 to 5 years, 8 years on he is still here doing well but I don't know how he copes with the constant trips to
Manchester Christies. I guess everyone has to find their own way to function and find a way to keep on going because there is always tomorrow and there is always hope.

[Borghetto]

There was a very good supplement in last weeks Economists on cancer and it's treatment. There are lots of new methods for tackling many different cancers and there is always hope that one of them might prove helpful to todays sufferers.

[johnxjsc1985]

Borghetto said:

There was a very good supplement in last weeks Economists on cancer and it's treatment. There are lots of new methods for tackling many different cancers and there is always hope that one of them might prove helpful to todays sufferers.

My post above refers to exactly this .He was virtually told his treatment had come to an end and nothing else was available then a few weeks later he was given the option for a new treatment which he obviously took.

[FocusRS3]

Just stumbled across this thread and wanted to send best wishes to everyone and their families .

[TooManySheds]

Hi
This morning been told I have inoperable kidney and lung cancer :-( . I have been told I have months not years to go.

I just wondered if anyone has had similar and how they cope and what sort of practical things they do, how to get affairs in order etc.
I have no family and no close friends, live on my own, so dont really have anyone to talk to about it all or what I am supposed to be doing, so thought I would share my thoughts and worries on here.

Any advice most welcome, its all come as a bit of a shock, started with a bit of blood in pee end of July, had CT Scan on 14th of Sep and this was the result today.

Cheers

Andy

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Blimey, Too Many Sheds. Awful news.

Anything you need any help with? If anything comes to mind, just ask. Serious offer, regardless of where you are.

[TooManySheds]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Blimey, Too Many Sheds. Awful news.

Anything you need any help with? If anything comes to mind, just ask. Serious offer, regardless of where you are.

Thanks, I think I just wonder what happens or what I should be doing ? I literally had 10 mins with urologist this morning to go through result of CT Scan, given bad news then just left to drive home.

I just wonder if there are support groups I should be contacting, or legal things I need to put in place. I just no idea where to start or what to do. !!!

Plus be good to hear from others about how it all pans out etc.

[loafer123]

Very sorry to hear your news.

I lost my father to cancer a few years ago and, whilst you might not feel like it, I would advise doing as many of your favourite things as soon as possible, as you will not feel like doing them later. Have you always wanted to visit Japan/hire an E-Type/see a particular band, for example? Make the most of the rest of your life. I know it is easy to say, and less easy to do, but that would be my advice.

As to practical advice, I had to sort out the affairs of a relative after their death, and simply having the relevant paperwork, as he did, in neat piles/files with clear instructions on what you want to happen at your funeral/wake and with your possessions and assets via your will, makes everything clear.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

There will be loads to do, but lots of help available I expect. MacMillan will be a good place to start - they will have seen this before and I suspect will be able to signpost or provide the proper support you'll need.

If there are specifics, post here. We will all do what we can.

[loafer123]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

There will be loads to do, but lots of help available I expect. MacMillan will be a good place to start - they will have seen this before and I suspect will be able to signpost or provide the proper support you'll need.

If there are specifics, post here. We will all do what we can.

I definitely agree on MacMillan - fantastic experts and a wonderful support.

[silent k]

Yes definitely speak to Macmillan, there's probably a drop in centre at your hospital cancer unit. Go and speak to them, they'll be able to give you practical (and whatever else you need) advice

[Tumbler]

Macmillan have a support line and a very active forum.
I'm very practical so the first thing I did was put all my affairs in order.
In terms of how you now choose to live your life it's very difficult without knowing if you will have palliative Chemo, I have had numerous people tell me to do this do that, overseas travel is not possible for me, without potential severe consequences, and I'm finding the side effects of Chemo debilitating.

I wish you well, I'm blogging never in a million years thought I'd be doing that, but it helps, occasionally people even read the st I write, most odd.

Edited by Tumbler on Friday 6th October 13:45

[TooManySheds]

Hi
Thanks for all the replies
Will give Macmillan a shout next week.

Tumbler, do you have a link to your blog ? (or do you mean this page ? )

I suppose over next week or so mind will settle and I can start to organise stuff.

Its the not knowing what happens next that is strange, I no idea if I got till bonfire night / christmas / next spring etc ? Plus of course I have a house and garage full of stuff that I just dont have the energy or strengh to shift and sell.
Has anyone used House Clearance companies when someone has died ?

Sorry for all the questions.

[Tumbler]

TooManySheds said:

Tumbler, do you have a link to your blog ? (or do you mean this page ? )

I suppose over next week or so mind will settle and I can start to organise stuff.

Link to my blog should be in my profile. Be more Zebra https://community.macmillan.org.uk/blogs/b/weblog1...

There's one on practicalities. I'm steadily clearing through one draw at a time, with the added complication that my mum passed away in May and I have 50 years of her life's bits and bobs to sort through.

As a family we still make plans, I've asked my oncologist not to give me my prognosis at this time, I know I'm incurable, but I don't want to make rash choices based on them thinking I have X amount of time.