Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly

[motco]

PostHeads123 said:

My dad has terminal brain cancer, stopped treatment in Dec and he has gone down hill, his wife rang me this morning to say that she can no longer look after him at home and an ambulance had been called and was going to the hospice today to stay for a few days. My dad told me he didn't want to die at home but the hospice, I am being told its only for a 'few days' but I'm not sure, he told me he has had enough he has really suffered last 3 years had lung cancer first lung removed then spread to brain. When cancer patients go in to a hospice to stay is 'a few days' is that really code for 'wont be leaving', Ive also read they may provide him meds to take that might help him on his way is that true do they do that, if my dad has decided enough is enough will he be able to help himself along ? I'm 350 miles away going to drive up there once I get home from work.

I am very sad to hear this PH123, I understand the stress and anxiety you must feel. Please drive carefully, preferably in the morning. Your Dad would not like to hear of you coming to grief on the way to see him.

[csd19]

N7GTX said:

My mother smoked 40 a day and had breast cancer resulting in a mastectomy. She lived for 30 years.
My father never smoked or drank alcohol, was as fit as they come and being a swimming pool manger, swam every day and did fitness stuff in the gym. He got prostate cancer which killed him at 69 years. Why? Possibly genetics.

(snip)

I think it wise to be very aware of any possible genetic links. While the cause of prostate cancer is not known, it is known that having a mother with breast cancer raises the chances of getting it and then it is raised again with a brother and raised yet again with a father. It may be the real reason I got it, who knows?

In your position I would be having regular tests and check ups.

This is very interesting to read, I hadn't looked into the odds despite feeling that I should. My Mum had breast cancer in 1988 (lumpectomy, radiotherapy and good old Tamoxifen) and had been in remission for 20 years when it made a return in 2008 (mastectomy, big surgery and chemo). She had three different tumours overall and is still here thankfully, just with nerve damage and occasional discomfort. Dad is currently fighting prostate cancer aged 68, he's not at an advanced stage yet but I'm always aware that it's there.

I've often wondered what's coming my way - at what age should I consider regular testing etc? I'm 38 now and had always thought testing was more to begin in at least a decade's time.

[king arthur]

I posted this thread a while ago about my brother.

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

To sum up, he has brain cancer - gliosarcoma, the most agressive form of glioblastoma. He's trying to beat it without having radiation or chemo therapy since those could only prolong his life by a small amount and may even shorten it. We discovered some things that seem promising, such as living on a ketogenec diet and having hyperbaric oxygen treatment etc.

Trouble is all the things he wants to do will start getting expensive. Of course family is supporting him but would people mind terribly if I post a link to his Gofundme page?

https://www.gofundme.com/stage-4-glioma-brain-canc...

Even if anyone wants to just read about his situation and what he's doing, any comments or thoughts would be welcome. And of course if anyone feels like sparing a few pennies that would be very welcome indeed.

[FocusRS3]

loafer123 said:

Offer to make the appointment, describe the symptoms to the receptionist and then, when the GP suggests she come in immediately, tell her to stop being so selfish.

Sorry, but it does need to be said.

Update -

Things she says havnt improved she told me after I questioned her just y’day having given her some time.

She tells me appointment for the docs is booked for the 6th of june.

She seems unworried about it and ok in herself although she won’t let me attend the initial appointment with her

I can’t quite get her to tell me how severe it is or what colour blood it is so obviously at this stage it’s a wait and see scenario.

I’m hoping the doctor will send her for immediate tests.

Here’s hoping it’s nothing serious and we can get it addressed easily

Edited by FocusRS3 on Tuesday 28th May 07:21

Edited by FocusRS3 on Tuesday 28th May 09:16

[PostHeads123]

My dad is still in the hospice its over 2 weeks now, still going though, but the symptoms with his brain cancer are horrible, he is very agitated and confused, he cant walk now, control his bowels, has to be fed, the steroids made him balloon, he hallucinating. He sleeps a lot but gets very agitated at night calls out for us, he is on syringe drivers now for morphine and mitazolam to sedate him. I stay with him as much as I can but I live hundreds of miles away, I have to work and also have a family. I just hope he finds peace soon. I thought I would be ok-ish with it all but seeing him suffer is horrific

[FocusRS3]

PostHeads123 said:

My dad is still in the hospice its over 2 weeks now, still going though, but the symptoms with his brain cancer are horrible, he is very agitated and confused, he cant walk now, control his bowels, has to be fed, the steroids made him balloon, he hallucinating. He sleeps a lot but gets very agitated at night calls out for us, he is on syringe drivers now for morphine and mitazolam to sedate him. I stay with him as much as I can but I live hundreds of miles away, I have to work and also have a family. I just hope he finds peace soon.

Must be incredibly hard watching this knowing there is nothing you can do to help.

Feel very sorry for you

[johnxjsc1985]

PostHeads123 said:

My dad is still in the hospice its over 2 weeks now, still going though, but the symptoms with his brain cancer are horrible, he is very agitated and confused, he cant walk now, control his bowels, has to be fed, the steroids made him balloon, he hallucinating. He sleeps a lot but gets very agitated at night calls out for us, he is on syringe drivers now for morphine and mitazolam to sedate him. I stay with him as much as I can but I live hundreds of miles away, I have to work and also have a family. I just hope he finds peace soon. I thought I would be ok-ish with it all but seeing him suffer is horrific

Don't be so hard on yourself mate you cannot be in two places at the same time you have to put your family first and let the Hospice do what they need to do to keep him calm and as comfortable as possible. You could possibly do with speaking to a counsellor to as this is a very difficult time and very stressful even without having the distances involved. Good luck mate just don't keep all of this to yourself.
Even coming on here and having a rant is ok and you will always get a good response.

[anonymous-user]

PostHeads123 said:

My dad is still in the hospice its over 2 weeks now, still going though, but the symptoms with his brain cancer are horrible, he is very agitated and confused, he cant walk now, control his bowels, has to be fed, the steroids made him balloon, he hallucinating. He sleeps a lot but gets very agitated at night calls out for us, he is on syringe drivers now for morphine and mitazolam to sedate him. I stay with him as much as I can but I live hundreds of miles away, I have to work and also have a family. I just hope he finds peace soon. I thought I would be ok-ish with it all but seeing him suffer is horrific

Sorry to hear this - for your dad and for you & yours

[PostHeads123]

Thanks.


They increased the morphine and midazolam today, getting to the point were he needs to be sedated all the time, doctor gave him a week left. He suffered so much last 3.5 years, all started with lung cancer, lung removed then chemo, then after 7 months clear the brain cancer found, tried the really toxic chemo for that and didn't do anything apart from make him very very ill.

I'm heading back up there tomorrow for a few days.

What scares me is physically I am very like my dad, we have the same heath problems though I don't have cancer, I'm scared I am seeing now what might happen to me.

Its tough but at least he has lived a life, for kids with cancer its a different matter.

cheers

Edited by PostHeads123 on Tuesday 28th May 16:49

[anonymous-user]

FocusRS3 said:

Here’s hoping it’s nothing serious and we can get it addressed easily

Just that. I Hope she comes out of that appointment and gives you a really hard time for nagging her over something that turned out to be such a trivial thing

[FocusRS3]

[quote=JPJPJP]

Just that. I Hope she comes out of that appointment and gives you a really hard time for nagging her over something that turned out to be such a trivial thing[/quote

Exactly

[PostHeads123]

My dad passed away 7 pm last night, stayed with him last few days at hospice. He had 13 brain metastases.

[AJB88]

PostHeads123 said:

My dad passed away 7 pm last night, stayed with him last few days at hospice. He had 13 brain metastases.

Sorry to hear that

[loafer123]

PostHeads123 said:

My dad passed away 7 pm last night, stayed with him last few days at hospice. He had 13 brain metastases.

Sincere condolences. It is a very tough time, but try and remember the good times, and not the end itself.

[bexVN]

PostHeads123 said:

My dad passed away 7 pm last night, stayed with him last few days at hospice. He had 13 brain metastases.

I am so sorry to read this, the emotions must be raw and mixed right now, the heartbreak of losing your Dad and yet the understandable relief that he is no longer in any pain or distress. Thoughts to you and your family.

[bexVN]

So hubby is in surgery as we speak for robotic assisted prostatectomy (and I believe having the immediate pathological testing to ck on margins as they operate)

I have great confidence in the team (we researched who we wanted to have do the procedures)

I am still feeling properly sick at the mo though. It has just become very real. Everyone kept asking me how I was doing and genuinely didn't really understand why as it isn't me that is going through it but here I am satin the hospital Costa suddenly feeling quite teary.

Needed a coffee before I head home they will be calling me once he is in recovery. Got to break the news to my son later. He went on a school trip on Monday, he is back today, my husband didn't want him to be thinking about his Dad being in hospital whilst he was away but we will be letting him know when he is home.
Anyway I am rambling!

[FocusRS3]

bexVN said:

So hubby is in surgery as we speak for robotic assisted prostatectomy (and I believe having the immediate pathological testing to ck on margins as they operate)

I have great confidence in the team (we researched who we wanted to have do the procedures)

I am still feeling properly sick at the mo though. It has just become very real. Everyone kept asking me how I was doing and genuinely didn't really understand why as it isn't me that is going through it but here I am satin the hospital Costa suddenly feeling quite teary.

Needed a coffee before I head home they will be calling me once he is in recovery. Got to break the news to my son later. He went on a school trip on Monday, he is back today, my husband didn't want him to be thinking about his Dad being in hospital whilst he was away but we will be letting him know when he is home.
Anyway I am rambling!

You're not its all part of the help offered in this forum.

Be strong and best of luck. Sounds like he is in good hands

[Stan the Bat]

bexVN said:

So hubby is in surgery as we speak for robotic assisted prostatectomy (and I believe having the immediate pathological testing to ck on margins as they operate)

I have great confidence in the team (we researched who we wanted to have do the procedures)

I am still feeling properly sick at the mo though. It has just become very real. Everyone kept asking me how I was doing and genuinely didn't really understand why as it isn't me that is going through it but here I am satin the hospital Costa suddenly feeling quite teary.

Needed a coffee before I head home they will be calling me once he is in recovery. Got to break the news to my son later. He went on a school trip on Monday, he is back today, my husband didn't want him to be thinking about his Dad being in hospital whilst he was away but we will be letting him know when he is home.
Anyway I am rambling!

Not rambling at all--it's good to talk, a lot of people don't.

[bexVN]

Thank you, feeling better now. Surgery was 4hrs, seems to have gone well, just the long road to recovery now.

[PostHeads123]

A question I have is why after cancer treatment in the post treatment scans why don't they scan the head? My dad originally had lung cancer was treated for that given the all clear after that he was given full body scans what we didn't know at the time was that didn't include the head, apparently not scanning head is standard procedure. His lung cancer metastases to the brain, first we knew of it was he crashed his car, that same week he had a scan earlier and given all clear, only after the crash did they scan the head though and extent of the metastases was found he had no chance by then. Lung cancer is well known to metastase to brain if it been caught earlier he might have had a chance.

Edited by PostHeads123 on Thursday 6th June 11:42