Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
Fanboy911 said:
This thread is a god place to talk and discuss feelings
62 again is no age, How is your mum coping ?
It certainly is a good place to talk. 62 again is no age, How is your mum coping ?
Thank you for asking, 2 months after loosing him her mother passed away at 95, a good innings and she was living at home until the day of her death. Unfortunately though it’s knocked mum back when we were slowly starting to see improvement.
ecsrobin said:
It certainly is a good place to talk.
Thank you for asking, 2 months after loosing him her mother passed away at 95, a good innings and she was living at home until the day of her death. Unfortunately though it’s knocked mum back when we were slowly starting to see improvement.
My Grandmother ( Mum's Mum) died at 93 so outlived my Dad. I'll never forget going to see her and telling her the news. wasn't good.Thank you for asking, 2 months after loosing him her mother passed away at 95, a good innings and she was living at home until the day of her death. Unfortunately though it’s knocked mum back when we were slowly starting to see improvement.
My Mum couldn't get her head round why her mother got to 93 and yet her Husband had gone at 68. I think in some ways she felt more comfortable with my fathers death when my Nan passed.
Your mother is likely to be confused as t why she isn't enjoying her senior years with her Husband. Its how my Mother felt
numtumfutunch said:
Humbling thread which I’d seen but never read until tonight
Lifelong friend with much in common was diagnosed with blood cancer three years ago and went through horrid treatment which the docs said would give him four years
Saw him last night and his counts are elevated on routine tests
He’s still well, on great form and very appreciative of the time he’s been given. The tearjerker was he has kids who are young adults and he was realistic in that one of his ambitions was to be a grandparent which he volunteered would not happen
Just not fair
Honestly don’t know why I chose to share this.
Best wishes everybody
Have just seen this, I am a blood cancer survivor (had chemo then a stem cell transplant after a relapse, am good now, but this treatment does not work for all conditions), and can empathise with what he has been through. I still go into a flat spin when my bloods go out of normal; I had some recently that were very worrying but turned to be due to a long lasting virus. Fingers crossed for him - it may not be as bad as he thinks.Lifelong friend with much in common was diagnosed with blood cancer three years ago and went through horrid treatment which the docs said would give him four years
Saw him last night and his counts are elevated on routine tests
He’s still well, on great form and very appreciative of the time he’s been given. The tearjerker was he has kids who are young adults and he was realistic in that one of his ambitions was to be a grandparent which he volunteered would not happen
Just not fair
Honestly don’t know why I chose to share this.
Best wishes everybody
What is positive is that as you say, he has had quality of life in the meantime, and some chance to come to terms with it. Some treatments have evolved in the last 4 years and so if it was bad news then he may have some other options if he wants them - or he may choose to just enjoy what he has. https://bloodwise.org.uk/ are worth a look if he needs any more info, or a chance to ask questions from others in the same position, even if just a need to share a worry.
I went to see him last Friday and he was in a lot of pain but the hospice nurses/district nurse came and helped out. He is on oxegen all the time.
Then on Tuesday he went into the hospice where thay are trying to manage the pain. It's a wonderful place, he has his own room and bathroom.
My wife went to see him today and rang me a short time ago to tell me how nice the place is and how good the staff are.
His friends are visiting almost daily including one who has come from Germany (he lives and works there) several times. These freinds know that he can't work neither can his wife as she is looking after him, they suggested setting up a go fund me to help with funeral costs. So she did and it has raised £2500 in 24 hours. I don't know how to express what emotion I feel. I suppose it is maybe just pride has so many friend that are ready to help.
Forgot to say but two weeks ago his wife was comfirmed as beening pregnant, via ivf. They both agreed to her trying as they thought he had a good time left.
The hospice staff told my wife today that he has a week or two at most.
Then on Tuesday he went into the hospice where thay are trying to manage the pain. It's a wonderful place, he has his own room and bathroom.
My wife went to see him today and rang me a short time ago to tell me how nice the place is and how good the staff are.
His friends are visiting almost daily including one who has come from Germany (he lives and works there) several times. These freinds know that he can't work neither can his wife as she is looking after him, they suggested setting up a go fund me to help with funeral costs. So she did and it has raised £2500 in 24 hours. I don't know how to express what emotion I feel. I suppose it is maybe just pride has so many friend that are ready to help.
Forgot to say but two weeks ago his wife was comfirmed as beening pregnant, via ivf. They both agreed to her trying as they thought he had a good time left.
The hospice staff told my wife today that he has a week or two at most.
S100HP said:
Looks like time to join this thread again.
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer back in March 2018. I made a post about it at the time, and was pointed in the direction of this thread. Well anyway, my dad is going really bloody well to be honest. You'd not know there was anything wrong with him almost 2 years later, so that's great.
My stepdad however, whilst not diagnosed yet, is pretty nailed on to having advanced lung cancer. He's smoked since he was 12, 62 now, without filters too. Been coughing loads for years, but over the last year or so has lost lots of weight (he didn't have much to lose) and has also complained of back pain. He's undergoing all the testing now, and then will get a diagnosis later this week I think. They've pretty much said it's lung cancer without committing.
I think he's very advanced. He's never been a healthy man so I don't think he's much chance of fighting it for long. The statistics don't make great reading either...any ideas on timescales?
3 weeks later and still no details. He's had a bronchoscopy where they took a swab, and then decided they needed to do another where they took a sample. Apparently they didn't get what they needed from that so he's got to go back for an external version. I didn't ask too many questions about how they get a sample from your lungs externally. Really sMy dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer back in March 2018. I made a post about it at the time, and was pointed in the direction of this thread. Well anyway, my dad is going really bloody well to be honest. You'd not know there was anything wrong with him almost 2 years later, so that's great.
My stepdad however, whilst not diagnosed yet, is pretty nailed on to having advanced lung cancer. He's smoked since he was 12, 62 now, without filters too. Been coughing loads for years, but over the last year or so has lost lots of weight (he didn't have much to lose) and has also complained of back pain. He's undergoing all the testing now, and then will get a diagnosis later this week I think. They've pretty much said it's lung cancer without committing.
I think he's very advanced. He's never been a healthy man so I don't think he's much chance of fighting it for long. The statistics don't make great reading either...any ideas on timescales?
t not knowing what is going on with him.My wife went to see him yesterday and said he slept most of the time but did respond to people being there.
I went today and he slept all the time but with little reponse, there were at times six people there all chatting away.
About an hour after I left my wife rang me to say that he had passed away.
I go by train (as I know I'm to distracted to be completly safe on a busy motorway) so there I am with a mobile phone to my ear with tears streaming down my face, god knows what the guy opposite me thought!
My wife has gone down ( she drives down) to be with our daughter in law, our daughter his sister (who is a couple of days away from giving birth) and husband are also going.
So I'm sat here all cried out and feeling, well to be honest I don't know what I'm feeling.
As the OP said effing cancer is an effing effer.
He was 6 days away from his 33rd birthday.
Sorry for the long ramble but you lot did say that you didn't mind and it does help I think.
I went today and he slept all the time but with little reponse, there were at times six people there all chatting away.
About an hour after I left my wife rang me to say that he had passed away.
I go by train (as I know I'm to distracted to be completly safe on a busy motorway) so there I am with a mobile phone to my ear with tears streaming down my face, god knows what the guy opposite me thought!
My wife has gone down ( she drives down) to be with our daughter in law, our daughter his sister (who is a couple of days away from giving birth) and husband are also going.
So I'm sat here all cried out and feeling, well to be honest I don't know what I'm feeling.
As the OP said effing cancer is an effing effer.
He was 6 days away from his 33rd birthday.
Sorry for the long ramble but you lot did say that you didn't mind and it does help I think.
Awful news skeggysteve, that is utterly heart-breaking.
Few of us can offer any real support that will help much, but rage away if it helps and know that there are a bunch of random internet strangers that are thinking about you and your family as you endure the almost unendurable. Bon courage.
Few of us can offer any real support that will help much, but rage away if it helps and know that there are a bunch of random internet strangers that are thinking about you and your family as you endure the almost unendurable. Bon courage.
So sorry Steve, it sounds like he was at peace surrounded by a lot of love.
I remember my Mum phoning me to say my Nan had passed. I was in works kitchen, I became visibly emotional, there was a work experience lad in the room as well, only his second day! I ended up apologising to him because I felt bad for him seeing me like that!
My thoughts to you and your family.
I remember my Mum phoning me to say my Nan had passed. I was in works kitchen, I became visibly emotional, there was a work experience lad in the room as well, only his second day! I ended up apologising to him because I felt bad for him seeing me like that!
My thoughts to you and your family.
As aways thank you to all that have replied, as silly as it sounds it does mean a lot hearing from random strangers on an internet forum.
Yes he was surrounded by close and some not so close friends. But all of them must have liked him enough to have visited.
When I first heard I was to be a grandfather I thought st I'm to young I'm only 62!
But I'm now looking forward to holding a baby and when it need attention I can give it back to it's mum or dad!
My wife has rung, they have just moved him to the mortury. The hospice said they woud keep him in his room for 4 hours to allow anyone that wanted to say good bye.
Yes he was surrounded by close and some not so close friends. But all of them must have liked him enough to have visited.
When I first heard I was to be a grandfather I thought s
t I'm to young I'm only 62!But I'm now looking forward to holding a baby and when it need attention I can give it back to it's mum or dad!
My wife has rung, they have just moved him to the mortury. The hospice said they woud keep him in his room for 4 hours to allow anyone that wanted to say good bye.
The other thing I must say is that as any parent will know it is incredibly had to see your child in pain and know there is nothing you can do to help.
So in a way and the thing I am clinging on to is that he is no longer in pain.
Don't get me wrong the hospice has been brilliant but before he went in when I saw him I knew he was in pain even thought he didn't moan a lot. As a parent you just know.
Again thanks everyone for your replies and the kind words.
So in a way and the thing I am clinging on to is that he is no longer in pain.
Don't get me wrong the hospice has been brilliant but before he went in when I saw him I knew he was in pain even thought he didn't moan a lot. As a parent you just know.
Again thanks everyone for your replies and the kind words.
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